Always and Forever (49 page)

Jake glances at me, hesitancy and distrust painted all over
his face.

“But you… ran away. You left me, Bethany and I didn’t know
what to do. I can’t keep chasing after you, it hurts too much and it’s slowly
killing me.”

He lowers his head, revealing the depth of his despair and
aguish. It pains me to see what my love for this boy has done to him and I’m
beginning to wonder if our love for one another will be what finally destroys
us.

“I know it is, Jake. I hate myself for doing this to you
and I’m so sorry. I want to make this right and I will if you walk away with me
now. If you kill him tonight it will ruin us. I’ll never see you again and I
can’t be without you, I just can’t.”

Every fibre of my being is imploring Jake to listen to me,
to understand what I’m saying and to adhere to my advice. I just hope my voice
will somehow find a way of resonating with him and not get shouted down by the
anger in his head. This night can’t determine our fate. I won’t let it.

He stares at me for a long time and I think I’m finally
getting through when a helpless moan interrupts our silence. I take a look at
the man who came so close to hurting me before Jake found me. I gasp when I see
the state he’s in; his face is black and blue, swollen and disfigured. How can
the gentle, loving boy I adore be capable of this? What does that make him? And
what does it make me for loving him despite his inexcusable violence?

“Did he touch you?” Jake asks, fixing his powerful stare on
me.

His eyes burn fiercely, consumed by a formidable fury, one
that I’m no longer capable of restraining. I don’t even consider telling him
the truth about what really happened. If I do Jake will be unreachable, he
won’t stop and I’ll be forced to say goodbye to him forever.  

“No, he didn’t. I’m ok; you got here before he… before he
did anything.” I lie, praying that my omission will be enough to convince Jake.

“Are you sure? Tell me the truth, Bethany. If he touched
you, I swear to God…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. He instead places his two
hands on my shoulders and turns me to face him. His eyes bore into mine,
desperately trying to spot the lie in mine.

“He didn’t touch me. He knocked me to the ground and that’s
when you got here, you saved me before it could go any further.” I tell him,
despising the fact that I just looked him in the face and lied to him.

 I hoped my decision to keep the truth from him would
help diffuse the situation and put an end to the revenge Jake wanted to obtain.
However, it no longer seems to matter. Jake saw what was happening and he’s not
about to walk away from the monster whose soul intention was to hurt me in the
most despicable way. Each blow inflicted by Jake is pulling us even closer
towards a future we don’t want, a future I can’t control and it’s tearing me
apart.

“Jake, stop now or you’re really going to kill him!” I cry,
grabbing hold of his arm with both of my hands.

Jake finally hesitates and holds out his hands, staring at
them in dismay. It’s as though he can’t quite believe what he’s just done, the
damage he’s caused and the actions he’s just t committed. I follow his example
and let my eyes take in his horrifying appearance. His clothes are covered in
blood and the skin on his knuckles is torn from his incessant attack.

“You’re right. We need to get out of here, come on.” He
orders me, grabbing hold of my hand in an attempt to pull me away with him.

“We can’t leave him, Jake.”

My voice is calm but inside I’m screaming.

“What are you talking about? Baby, we have to leave now.
The police could be here any minute, someone might have called them.”

He tries to drag me away again but I extract my hand from
his, refusing to go with him.

“We can’t leave him here like this, he could die.”

“So? He deserves to die for what did to you.” Jake says
venomously.

I close my eyes, not wanting to witness the raw intensity
of Jake’s hatred for this man. I don’t want him to live with this anger, it
will eventually destroy him and I’m not about to let that happen.

“We can’t leave him here to die, I wouldn’t be able to live
with myself and neither would you. We need to call an ambulance.”

“Bethany, we can’t call an ambulance for him. I’ll be
arrested and I’ll be sent to prison. I can’t do that, I won’t leave you.” Jake
says firmly, taking hold of my face in his hands.

“We don’t have to wait for the ambulance to arrive. We can
phone them and leave before they get here. It’s the right thing to do.” I argue
stubbornly.

There’s no way I’m leaving this man to die, I would never
be able to forgive myself or Jake.

“No. He doesn’t deserve our help and they’ll be able to
trace our phones if we call the paramedics. We’re leaving right now.”

He glowers at me, daring me to disobey him.

 “Jake, do you love me?” I ask, deciding to change my
chosen method of persuasion.

“Of course I do, how can you even ask me that?” He yells,
throwing his hands up in the air.

“If you really love me then you will let me do this.”

 He rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration
and starts to pace back and forth in anger. I know he’s only trying to figure
out a way of getting us out of this mess without implicating us any further but
this man needs a hospital, I can hardly hear him breathing anymore.

“Ok. There’s a phone box around the corner, we can use that
to call an ambulance for him but we need to get away from here
right now
before anybody sees us.”  

I take one last look at the stranger on the ground. I know
I have to remain strong and do the right thing by him, even if a small part of me
really does want to leave him here. I start to walk away from him towards Jake,
turning to him and offering him my hand for us to walk away. Jake doesn’t move.
He remains standing, his gaze fixed on the barely conscious body at his feet.
Eventually, Jake leans forward until he’s merely inches from his beaten face.

“I want you to listen, you worthless piece of shit. I know
you can hear me and I want you to know that you’re lucky I don’t finish you off
right now; I want to…
believe me
, I’d love nothing more than to watch
you suffer. The only reason I’m allowing you to live is because it’s what she
wants. This is for her, not you and if I ever see you again, I swear to God I
will kill you. You will never, ever hurt what’s mine, do you understand?” He
roars, shaking him in fury.

An inarticulate sound is the only response to be heard.

“Jake, you’ve made your point. We should go.” I urge him.

“Don’t even
think
about reporting this to the
police. I’ll come and find you if you do and I’ll tell the police exactly what
happened, you’ll be the one who’s afraid for his life, not me.”

 I tremble when I hear the vengeance in Jake’s voice
and I watch in horror as he swings his fist in the air and it collides with
man’s bloodied face. I cringe when I hear a loud crack, the result of his nose
breaking. Another blow to the ribs soon follows and I hear more bones break, a
powerful wave of nausea overwhelms me as I start to retch, covering my mouth
with my hand.

Jake glances over at me and his face softens when he sees
the state I’m in. He hurries over, taking my small hand in his and starts to
run, pulling me along beside him. My legs are shaking; I barely have enough
energy to stand. We round the corner and continue to run. I spot the phone box
Jake mentioned in the distance and I break away from him and speed towards it.
I’m about to step inside when Jake blocks my path, positioning himself in front
of the phone’s entrance.

“What are you doing?” I shout, trying to move him out of
the way.

“Bethany, are you sure that you want to do this?” He asks
me, a grim expression on his face.

“What do you mean?” I yell in annoyance.

“You don’t owe him anything. He’s sick and he’s beyond
dangerous, he was really going to hurt you and he doesn’t deserve an ounce of
your compassion.”

“I’m not doing this for him; I’m doing this for us, Jake.”

My hand reaches out to stroke his cheek, wiping away the
remaining traces of blood that splattered onto him. He sighs in defeat and
reluctantly steps aside for me. I step into the phone box and make the call. I
tell the operator that I was on my way home and spotted a man who had been
badly beaten and said that I was too frightened to approach him. I give the
name of the road that Jake and I just left and then hang up, refusing to tell
her any of my information and my name. After the call, I breathe a huge sigh of
relief. I’ve done all that I can ad I can only hope that the medical help
arrives for him before it’s too late.

I step outside of the phone box to find Jake leaning
against it on the other side.

“You did it then?” He asks solemnly.

“Yeah, they should be on their way now but we better get
out of here. Look at the state of you; you need to get cleaned up.” I say
quietly.

 He turns around and takes a look at his reflection
through the glass of the phone box window.

“Shit, I’ll have to get rid of these clothes.” He glances
down at himself, forcing me to turn away.

 The memories of what happened before Jake arrived are
burning an agonising hole into my memory. The sight of blood all over Jake is
only fuelling the strength of what happened.

“Why don’t you come back with me to gran’s house? You can
clean up there.” I suggest.

 The thought of being apart from Jake right now fills
me with an overwhelming sensation of anxiety. I want is to feel safe and Jake’s
the only person in the entire world who can make me feel that way.

“I’d like that. I can’t bear to bear to be apart from you
tonight.” He says, pulling my body towards his.

I close my eyes to stop my tears from falling. I had a
lucky escape tonight; I was so close to being hurt and I was almost certain
that I would never get to see Jake again. He saved me; he rescued me and
protected me from a devastating fate. I silently make a vow to myself that I
will never let anything come between us again. No matter what obstacles and
difficulties we face, we will face them together. Jake and I belong to one
another and I’m done with running.

We make our way back to gran’s house in silence. He holds
my hand the whole way there, squeezing it every now and then as a sign of
reassurance. As soon as we’re standing in the hallway, Jake turns to me with a
bleak look on his face.

“Bethany, I know you don’t want to talk about this but I
need you to tell me exactly what happened tonight. I’m going crazy imagining
all sorts of fucked up things and I just need to know. I saw him on top of you
and how fucking terrified you were. I need to know if he did anything else to
you. You told me that he didn’t but I need you to tell me again. Were you
telling me the truth?” He’s breathing heavily, revealing the true extent of his
torment.

If I tell Jake the truth, if he finds out I was indecently
assaulted tonight, it will only cause more pain and suffering. I can’t hurt
Jake anymore than I already have and there’s nothing either of us can do about
what happened. I must keep going with the lie I originally told, it’s the only
way…

“He was a little rough and he pushed me to the ground but
that’s all he did.” I tell him, leaving out the part where he hit me and the
sexual assault.

“That’s all? Jesus Christ, that’s enough! I can’t stand it;
I can’t bear the thought of him hurting you, of
anyone
hurting you. You
should have let me kill him. God, why did I even listen to you?” He yells in
frustration, his fist violently colliding with the wall behind him.

“Because you’re better than that! You’re not a murderer,
Jake. I couldn’t let you kill someone because of me.” I weep, covering my face
with my hands.

I’m exhausted and weak; I don’t know how much more I can
take. I’m surrounded by darkness and no matter how hard I try to claw my way
out of it, it’s no use. I’m utterly submerged in it I’m almost drowning.

“Come here.”

He strides over towards me and envelopes me in his arms. He
kisses my forehead, stroking my hair. His touch is so gentle and comforting,
it’s hard for me not to break down and give in to all of the emotions that I’m
threaten to consume me.