Awakening (6 page)

"Tomcat? Is that your name?" I asked him. "I think he's the little guy who's been spooking us today."

"Awe, he's sweet," said Anne Marie, coming over to stroke down Tomcat's back.

"Keep him on your bed. I'm allergic," Eva said.

"Since when?" Challenged Anne Marie.

"Oh, hush!" Eva retaliated.

"I bet you wouldn't be allergic if it was Nick's cat," Anne Marie goaded.

Eva flopped over on the bed and put a pillow over her head while Anne Marie and I laughed for the second time at her expense.

I stand on the front porch of the house again, this time I notice a freshly painted swing is hanging to my left. I step towards the door, but it doesn't open. I can sense his presence, but I can't get through the door.

"Hey Savannah, wanna do some fishing?" I hear from my left and turn again to look. Luke is sitting there on the swing. He looks just like I remember him from my childhood.

"I can't, I'm here to see someone."

"There's no one here but me," Luke says.

I try the door again, with no luck. When I turn back towards Luke, he is gone and I am alone again on the porch.

I woke to Tomcat kneading my back. When I opened my eyes, Anne Marie and Eva were still in their bed, and the sun was just peeking through the blinds. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, splashed some water on my face and threw on some old running shorts and a sports bra. Placing Mark's ring gently back in its box, I twisted my long blonde hair into a pony tail while I tried to remember where I left my running shoes. When I found them I walked out the front door to sit on the steps and put them on. The early summer air was warm, but the humidity hadn't
completely set in yet, and I was thankful for that. In August I knew it would feel dense enough to cut with a knife.

As I ran away from the house, down the long main drive, I noticed how foreboding the woods were. When we had arrived yesterday, they felt eerie as well
, but now I felt as if something or someone was watching me. Something darted through the trees to my right, and I quickly looked in that direction to see a doe peeking out. Her ears twitched as she looked at me, and then she jumped back into the trees.

Just a deer!

Once on the main road, I made a left and ran another half mile or so, before I came to a driveway. Some unseen force compelled me to stop. As I stood there in the road, the hair on the back of my neck prickled and I had the feeling of being watched again. When I heard a horn honk I almost jumped out of my skin.

"That's my driveway you're standing in," said a deep southern drawl. I stepped back to see a man in a big black four door truck.

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry," I said, taking a more few steps back so he could turn in.

I was waiting for him to head further down the road when he stopped the truck in my path and got out.
My breath caught in my throat. He was tall, well over six feet. His eyes were hidden by a pair of sun glasses, but I would have know him anywhere. 

"I'm just going to check the mail," he said. "What're you doing out here anyway?" As he opened the mailbox and reached in to retrieve his mail, I noticed the way the muscles in his arms flexed.

"I was just out for a run," I said softly, waiting for him to recognize me.

He looked over at me and stopped abruptly, as if seeing me for the first time. He lifted the sunglasses off his face and stared at me wordlessly. His dark green eyes held me motionless. He walked a couple of steps towards me raising his hand to touch my cheek. Sparks flew, and I inhaled sharply.

"Caroline," he said hesitantly, and then dropped his hand, searching my eyes.

My skin was burning where he touched it, but I managed to nod slowly.

"Hi Luke."

He didn't say anything for a moment, almost as if he wasn't sure what to do next.
Then he closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug. My arms came around his waist on their own and I was struck by the once familiar feeling of belonging that coursed through me.

"I heard about your grandmother. My condolences for your loss."

"Thank you," I said against his chest.

I felt a bead of sweat run between my breasts and suddenly realized how I must look.
He pulled back from me to study my face.

"You are so damn beautiful." He smiled brilliantly, and my God his lips looked kissable. I tried not to think about how they would feel on me, and realized I was staring at them.
God, these hormones!
I quickly cleared my throat, and tried to steer the conversation in another direction.

"
Wow. I'm not used to you saying anything nice to say to me."

"Caroline, come on. We were such good friends once. I know I didn't treat you well for a long time, but I never stopped caring about you.
You know that."

"I don't want to rehash the past Luke."

"Caroline, I lost you and Mark in the same day, and it broke my heart. I wondered how you were, how you were coping. I thought about calling you a million times but I never knew what to say. Since then I've been trying to get my life back on track, live in the moment and not dwell on the things I can't change, but seeing you here... It's like a second chance."

I shook my head at him.

"I still miss Mark every day, and I haven't forgotten how you treated me all those years. And then, when I needed you most, after Mark's death, you were gone. How could you leave me like that?"

He looked at me sympathetically. "
I already apologized for the way I treated you all those years that day at your apartment. But, I'm so sorry Caroline. I didn't know what to say to you after Mark was gone. I didn't know if you'd want to see me."

"
Of course I wanted to see you. If nothing else, we were best friends. I needed you and you weren't there. All I could think about was how you used to stare at me like you couldn't stop looking, and then  would barely speak more than a word to me when I tried to talk to you. You accosted me in hallways, kissed me, screamed at me, disappeared. That's not something I can just forget, apology or not. But the very worst thing you ever did to me, was leave me alone to mourn for Mark."

"How was I supposed to act
all that time when the one thing I wanted most wasn't mine to have? And the last thing you said to me before I left your apartment that morning was that you wanted me to find what made me happy. I thought that was your way of telling me you didn't want me, so I left you alone. Looking back on it, it was probably one of the worst decisions I've made in my life, but I can't change it now."

I looked at him
, not wanting to continue this conversation. I had practically thrown myself at him once, but he kept telling me that it was me who didn't want him.

"Can we do this another time?" I asked, crossing my arms and trying to hold back my tears.

"Sure, no problem. Way to avoid the issue Caroline," he said with a huff. "Can I give you a ride back to your grandmother's place?" His eyes searched mine and for a moment I felt myself being drawn in by his gaze.

"No thank you. I think the
fresh air will do me some good."

"Okay, well, be careful out here alone. There have been some reports of attempted abductions around the area.
" I looked up at him as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"I will," I said
, taking a step back, out of his reach. I gave him a small smile, searching his eyes, before I turned to walk back down the road. I heard him start his truck and head in the opposite direction. My mind raced as I walked. I had never expected to see Luke again. I never thought he'd be living here after all this time, especially after his parents moved away.

As I walked toward my grandmother's house, I thought back
to Mark's cousin's wedding. We were staying in a hotel in Greenville, South Carolina.

After we checked in, we entered the elevator to
go up to our room and Mark slipped his arm around my waist. Just then, I heard giggling coming towards us and then a man's arm stuck through the closing door, causing it to bounce open again.

I stood in stunned silence as a damp Luke stepped into the elevator with a bikini clad girl tucked against his bare chest. It was the first time I'd seen Luke since Mark graduated from high school, and he looked so different. Darker. Dangerous even.

"Hey bro! Good to see you!" Mark said to Luke, punching him in the shoulder.

"Yeah man, you too," Luke replied, pulling Mark in for a wet hug.

Luke looked at me over Mark's shoulder, and I felt myself shrinking into the wall of the elevator as I tried not to be affected by his gaze. I took in his chiseled features, his perfect mouth, slightly parted, and I had to swallow. I felt a flush rising up my face, and I knew Luke saw it.

He smirked as he pulled back from Mark, grabbing bikini girl again.

"That's Caroline," he said, jerking his head in my direction, "and my brother, Mark. And this," he motioned at her body, "is Brittney."

"Nice to meet ya!" She said, smacking her gum as she adjusted her too small bathing suit over her obviously fake boobs.

When the elevator stopped we all got out on the same floor, Mark led me to our door and I noticed Luke and Brittney were several rooms down
from us. I couldn't help but watch as he nuzzled her ear while she opened their door. His eyes were on me the entire time.

"Should we show
er first or just get in bed?" Brittney asked, sounding overly high pitched. I wondered how he put up with that annoying voice for more than five minutes.

"Doesn't matter baby," he said, swatting her behind
and finally breaking eye contact with me, as he followed Brittney through the door.

While Mark was in the shower I unpacked my clothes as my thoughts turned to Luke. What was his game? I never could understand the mixed signals he was throwing at me years ago, and now it seemed he couldn't stand to look at me.

I poked my head into the bathroom. "Babe, I'm going to get a water, do you want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good," Mark called back from behind the shower curtain.

I grabbed my wallet and keycard and headed out the door, following the signs for the vending machine. When I walked around a corner I ran smack into a naked male chest. From the way my skin was tingling I knew it was Luke before I even looked up.

"Sorry," I said.

"You should watch where you're going."

"Luke," I said, leaning against the wall to put space between me and his phenomenal chest. "What happened to you? It's like something snapped and since then you've been a complete ass."

I looked up, my eyes searching his for some
sign of the Luke I used to know. He leaned in to me, placing one forearm on either side of my head and bringing his lips within inches of mine.

"Why Caroline? I just want to know why?"

"Why what?" I stammered.

His nose was now resting against the side of mine and I could feel his breath against my face. My eyes fluttered closed as I lifted my chin up, slightly parting my mouth.
I wanted, desperately, for him to kiss me.

After a moment I opened my eyes to find him staring at my lips.

"FUCK!" He yelled, pushing off the wall and storming away from me.

I breathed deeply as I unclenched all my muscles, trying to quell the heat swirling through my core.
My body's reaction to Luke was frustrating. I wanted him, but I didn't want to want him.

The rest of that weekend I tried my best to stay away from Luke. I tried not to even look in his directi
on. Thinking back on it, and knowing now that Luke was hiding his feelings for me, I suppose I could understand why he acted the way he did, although that didn't make it right.

When I opened the door to my grandmother's house Anne Ma
rie and Eva took one look at my strained face and dragged me to the kitchen table, calling for my mother to come. Once I had calmed my nerves enough to talk, I looked around at all their expectant faces. I addressed my mother first.

"Mom, you remember Luke?
Mark's brother?"

"
Of course, honey. What's this all about?" She asked.

"I went for a run this morning and found myself face to face with him. He asked me to come to his house so we could catch up."

"Oh my gosh! Did he do something to hurt you?" Eva asked as she forced her chair back and stood up, ready for battle.

"No. No, nothing like that Eva, but thank you. Actually, he
is gorgeous. In a different lifetime I would have wished for him to try something. Begged for it even."

My admission raised eyebrows all around the table.

"You all know that Luke was my first crush, first love even... The problem is that when I started dating Mark, Luke became mostly standoffish and rude to me. Then, at college graduation he showed up and professed his feelings for me, saying he had always loved me. After Mark's accident I never saw him again, until today. He said that seeing me again meant we had a second chance. I can forgive him for acting like a jerk years ago, but I don't know if I can forget, or ever feel the same about him as I used to. He left me in my moment of need. Hell, I don't even know if I can believe his feelings for me were ever real, as opposed to him just wanting me because I was unavailable. And God, he looks so much like Mark."

"Awe, Caroline. We know how much you loved Mark, but he's been gone over two years now.
Why are you so worked up about this, they are brothers, of course they look alike," Anne Marie sympathized.