Because of Kian (3 page)

She
looked around the gym, at everything
but
me, really. “So, the other night, you asked if, um… if I’d…” Her voice trailed off.

Say something,
fuckhead!

“
Teach you some self-defense moves? Yeah,” I awkwardly answered. “I’d be happy to. You really need to know a few basics, especially since you do not really want to involve the cops.”

“It’s just better, I think, if I don’t,”
she nodded. “So, could you teach me to kick his ass?” She shot a timid smile up at me.

Oh Jesus
.

In all the times I’d watched her, kept an eye out for her and wanted her, I’d never imagined how she could really get
to me. With her focus fully trained on me, her full lips and sea-green eyes…
Wow
.

I
chuckled softly, trying to sound nonchalant, like I wasn’t about to come apart at the seams from the overpowering thrill that she was here. “He’s kind of got a size thing in his favor. You’re not exactly a butch girl, but I could show you a few things. Make it harder for him to kick yours. Give you a chance to get away. I actually just got done with a class and don’t have anything I need to get to. We could start right now.”

Fuck, I sounded like an idiot.

“Show me what you’ve got,” she grinned and tilted her head.

Okay
, Kian
, I thought to myself.
You can do this. She only smells like heaven and has turned you into a total stalker, but you can keep things professional.

“Um, well… let’s go over some of the basics first, I guess. You want to be vocal. The more you can project your voice, the more you’ll attract the attention of others who can help you. So, pretend I’m a big creep who’s coming at you. I want you to shout at me to get back.”

I took a few menacing steps in her direction, reaching for her. But she sort of froze, and I got way too close. Only inches away. The delicious fragrance of her skin clouded around me, and her sea-green eyes widened as her breath hitched.

“Baby, you didn’t say anything,” I murmured, fighting every urge I had to stay on task
.

“Get back…” she whispered
tremulously.

Laughter erupted from my throat. “I don’t think that’s gonna do it.” I backed up a few steps and
took a deep breath. “Let’s try this again. You ready?”

Brynn nodded and her tongue darted out to wet her lips
.

Fuck
.

I closed my eyes for a minute to clear that image from my brain, to try and remember her pummeled body on the ground behind
Hyper. I felt the anger begin to rise and fed off it, giving her a menacing look before I started at her again.

Her eyes went wide and she backed away. “Get back!” she yelped, stopping me in my tracks.

“That’s much better,” I smiled.

“
Holy hell, you can look really mean when you want to,” she forced out in a broken rush. “Remind me not to piss you off, okay? You just totally made my PTSD go into overdrive.”

My hand slipped through
my hair, pulling it back from my forehead. “We need to get something straight right now, right out of the gate. I will never, and I mean
never
, hurt you like that fucker did. Okay?”

Brynn chewed at her lip and looked away for a second before she glanced back up at me.
“Never say never, Kian.”

The haunted look in her eyes ripped me to shreds.

• If I Lose Myself ~
  Alesso vs OneRepublic
  
• Rock a Little ~ Stevie Nicks
  

Brynn

My body ached
as I walked into the supermarket. Every bone and muscle and tendon and ligament. Kian had worked me pretty good the last couple weeks, but tonight had been killer.

He was on a kick about getting my muscles built up a little, so he’d started teaching me T'ai Chi along with my self-defense. He said it would help me center and find the strength within myself, or some shit like that.

Aside from the salon, it seemed that he was everywhere I was. I went to Kian’s gym every night after work, Tuesday through Saturday. I’d like to say it was all about the self-defense, but, honestly, it was also about seeing Kian. It was all very teacher-and-student. He was respectful and appropriate. He teased some, but in a lighthearted manner that only made me laugh back. Being around him – hearing his deep, rich voice, his calm and his intensity – it seemed to push away some of my lingering fear and guilt.

W
hile I didn’t go to Hyper every night, I saw him there often when I did. Even there, in a casual setting, things between us were…
simple
. A smile and a nod when our eyes met across the room. The sound of my name on his lips when I came closer…
Hey Brynn
. I met some of his buddies, and he stared them down when they started getting flirty. Yet, he didn’t hit on me. This was probably okay since I didn’t wish my boatload of issues on any dude. Yet, at the same time, I was crushing big time and wasn’t too sure that I liked how platonic our friendship was either.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I felt about a lot of things
Kian
.

His
knight in shining armor routine had apparently driven Evan away. No sign of him since that horrific night. Granted, I hadn’t worked myself up to get out much, and when I did, I stuck to places that I’d deemed ‘
safe
’ in my mind. That essentially meant work, Kian’s gym, Hyper, and, occasionally, the grocery store. Not one for cooking, I generally grabbed a sandwich or a burrito on my way home, but I was thinking fried chicken tonight for a change of pace, and Valley Market had the best in town.

I stood waiting at the counter when a small blonde girl caught my attention. Maybe about four years old or so, and she had her face pressed up against the ice cream cooler in the aisle just beside the deli. No mom in sight. I watched her for a minute as she smu
shed her face against the glass.

“Mattie?” a voice called out. The little girl pulled her face from the cool glass
as Sage came around the corner. It took me a minute to remember who she was, seeing her away from Hyper. But then she pursed her lips, and the connection clicked. I’d seen that exact same annoyed expression on her face when the guys at the bar got a little too forward with her.

“Ice cream, mommy!” the little girl smiled
gleefully.

Obviously worried and frustrated, Sage clasped
the child’s hand and walked up the aisle towards me.

“Come on, monkey
,” she gently chastised. “No ice cream for little girls who wander off in the store.” As her gaze lifted, she saw me watching. “Oh, hey, Brynn,” she greeted me.

“Hi
, Sage. Is this your daughter?” I asked, looking down at the stunningly adorable little blue-eyed, blonde, a pout on her tiny lips as she longingly gazed back at the ice cream case. Sage had rather dark hair, but there was a fair amount of similarity upon close inspection, right down to their plump cheeks.

“Yeah, this is
Mattie. She can be a little adventurous at times,” Sage huffed out, smiling down at the girl. “Good thing she’s cute, or else she’d be kind of exasperating. We’re sort of working on the whole don’t-run-off-from-mom-at-the-grocery-store thing.”

“I never realized you had a family. You look so young.”

“Small family. Just me and Mattie. And I am young. Probably too young. I had her when I was seventeen. Not really how I saw things going for my life, tending bar and being an unwed teenage mom, but sometimes things just don’t really work the way you thought they would, you know?” There was such an intense sadness in that statement, even though Sage clearly did her best to deliver it with a smile.

“
Yeah, I know what you mean,” I replied softly, thinking of my own demons.

“We’re just a couple sorry loners, I guess,” she chuckled under her breath
.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“Well, you do sort of stick to yourself at Hyper,” she smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever even really seen you talk to anyone but Kian and the guys, really… well, aside from me.”

“I do like to come and go unnoticed, I suppose.”

“Oh, I think you get noticed, although I don’t think most of the guys that show up there have a clue. It’s a good thing that Kian’s generally watching out for you.”

I stopped short and turned to her
, confusion twisting the thoughts in my head.

“What do mean?”

“I probably shouldn’t say anything. It’s sort of sweet, though.” She smiled a little and chuckled. “Lately, he’s been coming in every night, whether you’re there or not. He’s generally there long enough to have a beer with the guys, but he only stays longer if you’re there.”

“That’s…
that’s just some weird coincidence or something.”

“No coincidence, trust me. He keeps an eye out for you.
He’s antsy as hell until you show up. Jeff and Pete give him shit about it all the time. Then he sees you and he just relaxes. Well, until some guy starts hitting on you.” She chuckled a little. “He kinda waits for you to give them the cold shoulder, watching like a hawk. If they don’t back off, he pulls them from the crowd and makes sure they leave you alone. All but tosses the guy out on his ass.”

My mouth dropped open, but no words came out.
Here I thought I was just good at getting guys to back the fuck off, but it looked as though I had some help in that department. My mind frantically searched back for a time I was at Hyper recently and
hadn’t
seen Kian there. But I couldn’t think of a single one. The guys he hung out with weren’t always the same, but Kian was always there. Not since he’d stopped Evan that night had I been at Hyper without seeing him.

That should have totally freaked me out.

But, honestly, I wasn’t sure how it made me feel. Weirdly… I kinda I liked it.

“Hey,” Sage said after a minute, “I’ve got a big pan of lasagna in the oven. I was just going to get some
garlic bread to go with it. I have a horrible habit of always making way more than I need, then end up freezing a bunch, and it’s never as good that way. Would you like to come over and have some? Hang out for a bit?”

For a moment I was torn. I didn’t really want to bond, in spite of how sweet Sage was. Ever since shit
went south with Evan, I was wary of any relationship, even something as simple as a friend. It was just so much easier to go it alone. But, fried chicken suddenly didn’t sound that great. Plus, Sage strangely felt so familiar to me, like a long lost sister.

And, to be brutally honest, I really
wanted to hear a little more about my guardian angel.

Mattie’s big blue eyes sparkled on as she chatted nonstop over dinner.
About everything. Her ponies and her dollies. Her friends at preschool. Her gramma. How she wanted a kitten. How her friend Amanda had a kitten. Her daddy had bought it for her.

“Maybe,” Mattie babbled on with a child’s innocence, “if I had a daddy, he’d buy me a kitty, too.”

Sage immediately dropped her fork. “Mattie, honey,” she said softly, “why don’t you go get a couple of your ponies to show Brynn, hmm?”

“Do you want to see my ponies?” the sweet little girl asked with wide eyes.

“Um, I’d love to, sweetheart,” I smiled back as she scrambled off her chair and out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” Sage said. “She’s suddenly starting to ask questions about that, and I’m just not sure what to tell her.”

Thoughtfully, hoping that my words were tactful and benign, I sent what I hoped was a comforting smile. “I take it her dad isn’t in the picture.”

“No… he’s, um… I don’t really know where he is. It’s
sort of a long story.”

“I’m a good listener,” I offered. “Plus, it helps me take my mind off my own shit.”

Sage chuckled wryly. “He was my brother’s best friend,” she said after a thoughtful pause. “I’d loved him since I was a little kid, ever since he and Matt starting running around together. I worshipped him. When my brother died, he felt like it was his fault. He couldn’t stand to be here anymore, and he took off. I’m not even sure where he went.” She took a deep breath before she continued in a low voice. “We were only together once, the night before he left.”

“I’m so sorry, Sage,” I murmured
.

“
My dad had died of cancer about a year before, and then my mom just shut down after Matt died. I lost everyone in that accident. I just wanted to fade away too. But then I found out I was pregnant. It forced me to grow up pretty fast. Not a lot of time to fall apart.”

“Mattie is named after your brother.”

Sage nodded with a sad smile.

Mattie plodded back into the kitchen, dropping a
chubby little armload of My Little Ponies on the floor by my chair.

“Okay,” she said seriously, “this is Pinky Pie. And she’s really funny. I have a movie of her that mommy lets me watch at bedtime every night. And this is
Twilight Sparkle. She’s my favorite because she’s
purple
.”

“
You don’t like purple, do you?” I asked with mock disbelief.

“I
love
it,” she responded with wide blue eyes and a tremendously dramatic breath.

“I love purple, too. It’s my favorite color.”

Mattie’s eyes went wide as saucers, as though she’d just met a Twilight Sparkle in real life. “Really?” she whispered in awe.

One by one, I was introduced to Mattie’s ponies, allowing Sage a little time to compose
herself and join back in the conversation. Finally, we’d worked our way through the pastel pony pile, and the little girl rounded up her herd to put them away.

“Sorry about that,” Sage mused. “I didn’t think she’d actually bring out
all
her ponies, but that’s about the only way I can distract the kid. You should see her room. It looks like the My Little Pony store exploded in there.”

“It’s okay. It was fun. She’s a really sweet kid.”

Sage smiled, and took a deep breath. “So, anyway, new topic. So what’s going on with you and Kian?”

“Um… nothing?”
I murmured.

“Brynn, that sounds more like a question than anything.
And before you wonder why I’m asking, I just want to let you know that it isn’t because I’m after the guy. It’s just that I’ve been seeing Jeff for about three months now, and I’ve gotten to know Kian pretty well. He’s a good man and I just sort of want him to be happy.”

“Wait a minute… You’re seeing Jeff. I didn’t know that,” I commented.

“Nice try, but we’ve talked about me. Your turn.”

Dammit
.

“Okay, fine,”
I chuckled softly. “We’re kinda like friends, I guess.”

“So he’s never come onto you?” Sage looked a little incredulous
.

I shook my head and took a sip of my tea.

“Seriously? Never? Because he sure doesn’t watch you like a friend.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled deeply.
“I had a run-in with an ex in the alley behind Hyper one night. Kian ran him off.”

Sage leaned her face on her hand, saying nothing, waiting for me to fill in the massive gaps in the story.

“Evan could be… violent. And that night in the alley, Kian saw him hit me.” Sage’s eyes grew as wide as her daughters when I said I liked purple. “I’m not even too sure what happened. Evan knocked me cold. Kian took care of me, made sure I was okay.”