Broken (Broken #1) (45 page)

“
I don’t want
to go,” he sighs and leans against the wall beside me. Both of us
stare at the far wall as if it holds all of the answers to our
conflicted feelings. Or at least, that’s what I’m hoping it
holds.

“
I don’t want
you to go either but you need to.”

He lets out a long breath,
“Can’t you both come with me?”

Blink. “What?”

“
I’m serious,
just come with me. It’s only three days in the city. Just me, you
and Dillan. It’ll be fun.”

“
My mum’s
here,” is that the best excuse I have?

“
She leaves
Tuesday. Join me then.”

“
I’ll think
about it,” I respond and kiss his cheek. “Go and conquer the world
Nathan.”

He gives me a smile that could
stop a thousand women at a female rights protest. My heart just
stuttered. “I’ll miss you.”

“
We’ll miss
you more,” I step away and watch him walk through the hall. His
eyes catch me over his shoulder as he grips the handle and pulls.
“Drive safe.”

“
Always do,”
with one last look, he finally leaves.

I let out the breath I’ve been
holding and re-join my mum in the living room. She gives me a
knowing look. I roll my eyes and sit on the armchair by the
fireplace.

“
Well, I
didn’t hear much but from the looks of things that boy
is…”

“
Don’t,” I
beg with a shake of my head.

“
He’s Caleb’s
brother.” The way she says it tells me she’s disgusted. “Imagine if
your roles were reversed and Caleb fell for your
sister.”

“
I don’t have
a sister.”

She rolls her eyes,
“Hypothetically.”

“
I’m not
falling for Nathan either.”

“
If you say
so,” she purses her lips. “It’s your life. But be warned. I don’t
agree with this at all. There’s something not right with
him.”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes,
“Don’t insult him mum, I’ll never forgive you.”

Her mouth drops open.

“
I care about
him, he’s done a lot for me.”

“
I’m just
saying I think maybe you should be careful. He’s not normal. He has
issues.”

She can say that again, “He’s
working on them.”

“
I’ll stay
out of it, I swear. Just… be careful. I don’t want to see you get
hurt.” She rolls her shoulders, clearly her arms are aching from
holding the baby for so long.

“
Do you want
me to take him?”

“
No,” she
moves away a fraction. “I’ll hold him until my arms drop off. Who
knows when I’ll get to see you next?”

“
You can
visit as often as you like.” She’s my mum, even if she is a bit of
a bitch at times, that doesn’t mean I want to exclude her. “I want
you in his life.”

“
Not as much
as I want to be in it,” she gives me a teary eyed smile. “I won’t
let you down again.”

I give her an amused smile,
“And I won’t get pregnant again.”

A pillow hits me in the face. I
snort and place it behind my head. “Hungry?”

“
Starving.”

“
I’ll put
dinner on, tell me what’s going on with you. How are things back
home?” I stand and walk into the kitchen. Pulling things from the
fridge, I smile when she puts Dillan in his swinging chair by the
door. It’s away from everything but I put him in there when I’m
doing the cooking and what not.

Conversation flows easily over
dinner, I find myself laughing more in one evening with my mum than
I ever did in my entire life of living with her.

When the time comes for her to
leave, I find myself feeling rather sad. Dillan, who is sweetly
oblivious to everything but his feeding, pooping and sleeping
times, even seems to cry when she leaves.

She hugs me, it’s stiff but
she’s trying.

For the first time since Dillan
was born I’m in the house alone. I miss Nathan.

I miss him a lot.

Sasha and Tommy came to visit a
week before my mum, they both want to come again soon. I’m looking
forward to it but for now I just want some quiet with my son and
my… I mean Nathan.

Dillan is almost one month old
already, he’s lifting his head and his feeding has settled. I can’t
wait to see his first smile. So much so, that I’m constantly
playing with him, trying to get more than petrol from him and baby
vomit.

Placing Dillan in his cot, I
switch on the baby monitor and head downstairs, flicking on lights
as I go. I wonder when Nathan will be back, it’s getting late and I
know he dislikes driving in the dark.

Hmm, I fancy a Horlicks.

As I’m boiling the milk in a
saucepan, the front door opens and closes. I hear the tell-tale
signs of Nathan taking his jacket off and hanging it up.

My face immediately lights up
with a smile and my legs carry me into the hall at a record
speed.

“
Oomph,”
Nathan steps back as I collide with him, arms around his neck.
“Miss me?”

“
How did it
go?” I tilt my head back and look at him. “I want to know
everything!”

Uh-oh, his face drops and my
heart drops with it. He was relying on this person. I’m not sure
exactly how it works but I know Nathan won’t be able to go forward
until he finds someone to help him create his jewellery.

“
Hey,” I say
softly. “It’ll be okay.”

“
Yeah,” he
nods, his hands on my hips. “It will.” I’m blinded by his sudden
beaming smile full of joy and excitement. “I got it.”

“
No way,” I
choke. “You’re kidding?”

“
Nope, I got
it. We start Monday.”

“
Oh my god,”
I squeal and hold him tighter, my face going to his neck. “I’m so
happy for you.”

“
Where’s
Dillan?” He pulls back slightly, his eyes scanning the immediate
area for the baby.

“
Sleeping
upstairs,” I tap the baby monitor that’s attached to the loop of my
jeans. “We should celebrate… oh crap!” I pull away from him and
race back into the kitchen.

Well… the milk is hot that’s
for sure.

“
Oops,” I
mumble and take the saucepan from the hob where the milk has
bubbled over and spilled everywhere.

“
I’ll do
that,” Nathan says as I grab a cloth.

I wave him off, “You’ve been
working hard, go and sit down. Are you hungry?”

“
Not really,
I ate before I left the city.”

I give him a teasing smile,
“Oh, I guess you don’t want the cookies I made then.”

He instantly perks up,
“Cookies?”

“
Yep,” I
laugh when he darts for the oven and takes out the foil wrapped
plate full of chocolate chip circular treats. “Share,” I open my
mouth and wait for him to pop in a small mouthful.

He grins, places it in front of
my mouth, as soon as I go to close my mouth around it he puts it in
his own mouth and swallows with a groan. “Too good to share.”

“
I made
them,” I argue, still cleaning down the hob.

“
I purchased
the ingredients.” This time he does place a piece in my
mouth.

He’s so right. Way too good to
share. I snatch the plate from his hand and run.

“
Hey,” I hear
him whine before his footsteps follow mine right before he snags me
around the waist and pulls me back into his chest. “They’re my
celebration cookies!”

“
Actually,
they’re your welcome home cookies. Your celebration cake is in the
fridge.”

He immediately forgets the
cookies and prowls back into the kitchen.

The large white chocolate cake
covered in dark blue icing sits proudly on the shelf in the middle.
Placing the cookies on the side I pull the cake out, and show him
the silver icing that spells, “CONGRATULATIONS!”

“
What if I
didn’t get it? This cake would be like a kick in the teeth,” he
says quietly and stares at the amazingly decorated cake, if I do
say so myself.

I place the cake on the counter
and wrap my arms around his waist, “I knew you would.”

“
Gwen, even I
genuinely thought I wouldn’t. How could you have such faith in
me?”

“
Because
you’re talented and amazing.” I tip my head back and wink at him.
“You should have faith in yourself.”

“
You spoil
me,” he grins, his fingers squeezing my back for a moment. “Give me
it.”

I serve two slices and hand him
his, we make our way to the dining room and sit on the table. “Tell
me everything,” I demand.

“
Well, I do
have some other news. Good and bad.”

Hmm… I don’t like bad news.
“Bad first so the good can cheer me up afterwards.”

“
Okay,” he
swallows his mouthful of cake and laces his fingers beneath my
chin. “You won’t be getting Caleb’s trust fund. Unfortunately due
to you not being married at the time of his demise his money went
to his next of kin. Which was my father and mother. Although, my
solicitor informs me that we may be able to transfer the trust fund
over to Dillan. We’ll just need proof that he’s
Caleb’s.”

Well that just sucks. My face
falls as I realise it doesn’t look like I’ll be leaving here any
time soon. Not that I want to but it’d be nice to stand on my own
two feet. It’s great that Dillan might get it though. I’ll never
have to worry about affording his school expenses.

“
What’s the
good news?” Please be brilliant, life changing news.

“
The store
will be up and running in two weeks and I received my trust fund
plus interest.” He pauses for a moment, I bite back the urge to
squeal with delight. “So… I got you a gift.”

What? “That’s great, but you’ve
already given me enough.”

“
It’s mostly
because I’ll be travelling a lot again, I want to open a second
location if this store does well.” He runs his tongue across his
lower lip and pulls out a single black key from his pocket with a
BMW key chain. “I got you a car. It’s perfect for families and has
a fix for the baby seat so you won’t have to strap his car seat in
every time. You’ll need it if I’m away.”

I stare at the keys on the
table between us, “I don’t think I can accept it.”

“
Don’t over
think it. Just say thank you Nathan, kiss me and try it out
tomorrow.”

I giggle and stand. Taking a
step towards him I lean down and press my lips to his ear, “Thank
you Nathan.”

He grabs my arm before I can
move away and pulls me onto his lap, making me squeal. “You didn’t
kiss me.”

He’s right, I didn’t. I roll my
eyes and move my mouth to his cheek, planting an extremely moist
kiss below his cheekbone.

“
You, are,
disgusting,” he cringes playfully and wipes his cheek on his
sleeve.

Dillan’s screeches sound
through the baby monitor, I step back, ready to deal with him but
Nathan guides me back to the chair and tells me to sit and that
he’ll sort it. I thank him and clear the table as soon as he leaves
the room.

When I’ve finished cleaning I
take my usual spot on the couch in the room and listen to Nathan
talk to Dillan through the baby monitor.

“
You really
need to start smiling soon, if I have to listen to your mummy play
peekaboo one more time, I’m going to gag her,” I snort at his sweet
baby talk tone. His threatening words sounding so none threatening
and cheerful. “Although it’ll probably only get worse if you do
smile at that. So do us both a favour and smile at something I
enjoy.” I hear a gurgle come from Dillan and laugh with Nathan,
even though he can’t hear me. “Good boy.” There’s a pause, I hear
Nathan sigh before his tone becomes quiet and sad. “You look so
much like your daddy it’s almost painful.” Pause. My breath
hitches. Nathan rarely talks about Caleb and when he does it’s
usually just a few words of agreement about something I’ve said.
“Mummy loved your daddy very much. Uncle loved your daddy very
much. I’m sorry you’ll never get to meet him, he would have loved
you more than anyone and anything.”

I choke back a hiccup and turn
the monitor off. This isn’t my conversation to listen to. It’s
private and it’s their moment.

Wiping my eyes I quickly fire
up my laptop and try to distract myself. Instead all I see is Caleb
staring back at me from my desktop background. I touch his face
with my finger tip and slam the screen down after a quiet moment. I
can’t break down right now, Dillan needs me to keep it
together.

Why’s it so damn hard?

Nathan joins me half an hour
later, he’s slightly distant and solemn looking but otherwise okay.
We watch the television in a companionable silence, my head resting
on his shoulder and my hand across his chest. He doesn’t play with
the ends of my hair like he usually does.

When I look up, I realise it’s
because he’s fallen asleep with his head hanging over the back of
the couch. I laugh quietly and run my fingertips over his brow,
smoothing his hair from his face. He’s had an eventful day by the
sounds of it, no wonder he’s exhausted.

“
You’re
staring,” Nathan’s lips twitch and his closed eyes flutter open,
only to confirm his suspicions.

“
How do you
know when I’m staring?” I mutter, feeling my cheeks
heat.

He shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s
kind of strange actually.”

“
Yep,” I
completely agree with that comment. “Bed?”

“
Yes.”
Staggering slightly as he stands, he holds out his hand. I give him
my wrist, as is habit. I’m shocked when his fingers slide from my
wrist and push between my fingers until they’re laced
together.