Broken (Broken #1) (48 page)

He’s doing it on purpose. That
doesn’t make it sting any less.

But what if he’s being serious?
What if I’m wrong?

No. I’m not wrong. I can see it
in his eyes, he’s playing me. He’s forcing me out.

Why though?

“
It’s not
going to work,” I whisper angrily, my fists clenching by my sides.
“I get what you’re doing and I’m telling you now. It’s not going to
work.”

“
I’m not
playing a game, Guinevere!” Nathan shouts and carefully puts the
papers in a folder. I see that they’re just pictures of his
jewellery, nothing important. I’m guessing he’s using them as a
diversion to limit eye contact with me, another reason I know he’s
lying. “Accept it and be on your way. Be grateful I’m not charging
you for the amount of money you’ve spent since
arriving.”

My temper spikes, my chest
tingling and my stomach twisting as I wrap my head around whatever
the fuck this is. “How dare you.” I spit. “I never asked for
anything from you, you offered everything willingly. Stop doing
this. I’m not leaving, you’re just causing me unnecessary
hurt!”

“
As you
wish,” he laughs cockily. “But when you meet Aisha, don’t say I
didn’t warn you.”

My head shakes back and forth
angrily, “If she even exists.”

His eyes darken, “She
does.”

“
Then I’ll
calmly explain to her that I don’t believe a word you’re
saying!”

“
Believe
it.”

“
What the
hell is wrong with you?” I cry, my eyes burning. “I’m going back to
bed.”

He shrugs and places the folder
in the drawer. Now he has to look at me and I hate the cold stare
aimed my way. “I’m not being cruel. I’m being honest.”

“
Yet another
lie. I won’t accept it. I don’t accept any of the crap you’ve just
said.”

“
Then don’t
accept it,” he shouts, his face turning red with anger. “But if you
know what’s good for you and Dillan, you will.”

“
Fuck you,
Nathan.”

“
Language.”

“
You can’t
tell me what to do anymore,” I laugh incredulously. “You’ve just
lost that right. And if you honestly think I’ll be pushed out of my
home because of some stupid secret then you’re wrong. Don’t you
think this is all a bit backwards? You’re pushing me away when
that’s the thing you’re trying to prevent?”

Nathan lets out an exasperated
breath, “Now you’re being ridiculous. Listen to what you just said.
Why would I push you away to protect myself from your hate?” He has
a point. Is he being serious about all of this? I can’t tell
anymore.

No. I won’t talk myself into
believing him.

Just leave the room Gwen, just
leave it and speak to him tomorrow.

“
I don’t want
to listen to this anymore,” I wipe the tears from under my eyes
with the back of my hand. “I’m going back to bed.”

“
I don’t want
you here anymore Guinevere,” his voice sounds hoarse, dare I say
pained? “Take the car and I’ll even pay for Dillan’s private
schooling when he’s older.”

I laugh humourlessly and walk
to the door, “No thanks.”

“
Guinevere…”

“
What?” I
sigh, my exhaustion sinking into every cell of my body. I no longer
have the strength for this. “What do you want now?”

“
Don’t fight
me on this. Everything I’m saying is the truth.”

“
I won’t
argue with you on anything anymore,” I look at him straight in the
eye. “But I’m not leaving.”

Nothing, not even a flash of
emotion. The only thing he does is clench his jaw and his
fists.

A sob tears through me as I
push the door open and close it gently behind me. Sure, I’d love to
slam it but that would be childish. Nathan didn’t abandon me when I
needed someone. He stuck by me. I can’t leave him now, not when he
clearly needs me.

This is stupid. What’s he
playing at? This makes no sense.

Nathan doesn’t come after me
and I won’t lie, half of me expected him to. The other half wanted
him to.

This is so messed up. Nathan’s
right. Oh my god.

Is he really seeing someone
else? Why is it that this thought hurts more than the others? Maybe
because I’m so used to Nathan circling around me and only me for
such a long time. Have I somehow mentally made him my property?

No, I’m just pissed off. I
don’t care who he sleeps with.

I’ll be even more pissed off if
he chooses her over us. If he so willingly throws us out because of
a new fling.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m
not sure if I’m right or not. I have to stick this out. I can’t
leave him.

Dillan wakes three times in the
night, although it doesn’t bother me too much as I don’t sleep a
wink. Nathan leaves at seven, way earlier than usual. Is he
avoiding me because he can’t be bothered to argue? Or is he serious
about it all and can’t stand the sight of me?

I hate him so much for making
me feel this way. My anger is trembling under the surface of my
skin, causing my blood to boil. Lashing out seems like a great idea
right now but for some reason I just can’t. As much as I want to
throw things at him deep down I know that he doesn’t deserve it.
He’s been so good to me and Dillan. How can I hate him for wanting
his life back?

If anything I should hate Caleb
for leaving me in the first place.

But what’s the truth? Somebody
give me the answers before I drive myself crazy.

Chapter
Twenty Three

“
You need a
break,” Jeanine tells me and she’s right. “You’ve lost weight, you
look exhausted.”

I yawn loudly, pretty much
proving her words. “Things aren’t great right now.”

“
I can tell,”
she mumbles and lets out a long sigh. “Do you want to talk about
it?”

I shake my head, “Not really.
I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” And Nathan still isn’t speaking to
me. After our argument last night I genuinely hoped it would have
all blown over. Instead he walked downstairs, saw me sat in the
dining room with Dillan and asked, “Still here?” He didn’t wait for
an answer, his tone stated he didn’t like the fact that I’m still
here, that much I knew for certain. After grabbing his food that I
made, he vanished upstairs. I heard his office door slam shut and
let out the breath I’d been holding.

I need to find a way to get
through to him.

“
Why don’t
you come over for dinner tonight? Bring Dillan obviously.” That
actually doesn’t sound too bad.

“
A word
please, Jeanine,” Nathan snaps. I wince, praying I haven’t gotten
her into trouble. She rolls her eyes and gives me a wink before
following him out of the room and up the stairs.

Of course I follow, how can I
not? They don’t have to know that though.

“
Yes, I’m
serious.” I hear Nathan say.

My ear is pressed up against
the door, I feel like I’m in a movie.

Jeanine laughs as if he’s said
the funniest thing in the world. I don’t have to wait long for an
explanation. “Oh, Nathan. You know I don’t have to work. The only
reason I do work is because I’m the only person who keeps your
house the way you like it.” She laughs again. “But by all means
fire me, it won’t stop me from speaking to Gwen. She’s become a
friend and I don’t treat my friends with such disrespect.”

Nathan doesn’t respond but I
can feel his annoyance seeping through the wooden door.

“
Will that be
all?” Jeanine asks and I quickly run away. They probably know I was
there, but to be honest, I don’t care.

I can’t believe he threatened
to fire her if she continued speaking to me. Or at least, that’s
what I understood from their short conversation. What an
arsehole.

Is he really that desperate for
me to leave?

My answer is yes. I get this
answer by suffering another two days with him.

“
I didn’t
want lasagne. If you’re going to stay in my home even though I’ve
asked you to leave, you could at least prepare food that I actually
want to eat,” I watched him take his plate and scrape the untouched
food into the bin. That was yesterday at dinner.

“
This room is
horrendous. It stinks of nappies,” this was said this morning after
I had just changed Dillan’s nappy. He knew very well I’d just done
this as well.

About half an hour later I was
trying to connect to the internet. It didn’t work. Nathan stood in
the archway and explained harshly, “The internet isn’t free you
know. Have some self-respect. Pay for your own things.”

I didn’t respond, I played
minesweeper instead as Dillan had his nap. I can only pray that it
gets better.

Not even twenty minutes later
Nathan returns, picks up my laptop and takes it away. He comes back
with my old phone, takes my new one from my pocket, swaps the
simcards and places my old phone back into my pocket.

“
You paid for
the nursery, are you going to take that away too?” I comment dryly,
my eyes narrowed.

“
No, I’ll
need that room empty and I doubt I’ll get my money back on such
poorly looked after furniture.”

I let out a laugh, “Considering
you’ve used the furniture as much as me, that’s an insult to
yourself.”

He only leaves the room. I sit
and twiddle my thumbs, my irritation at a new level. I’m finding it
hard to keep it together and it’s only been one day.

Oh god. What now? He’s back. It
hasn’t been fifteen minutes since he left the room.

Oh wait, it’s okay, he’s going
to the car with my… why the hell does he have my nappy bag? I watch
him walk back to the house through the clear glass of the window.
His face a hard mask.

He steps into the room and
throws Dillan’s coat at me. I catch it before it hits me in the
face. “Take Dillan and get out for a few hours. Your nappy bag is
packed with the right amount of everything.”

“
What?” He’s
kicking us out for the day?

“
You heard
me, I have to concentrate. Get in your car and go.”

Will he let me back in if I
do?

He sighs at my lack of action
and snatches the coat from me, “Honestly, you’re his mother. The
least you could do is get him ready to leave. That’s all I’m
asking.” I’m going to punch him.

I watch him dress Dillan
quickly and efficiently. God damn him. Now he’s leaving the
house.

I quickly chase after him and
my son, he places Dillan gently in the car seat in the back of my
car and tosses the keys at me. Catching them like I did the coat,
only an inch from my face, I grit my teeth and climb into the
driver’s seat.

“
You forgot
your coat, it’s cold,” Nathan snaps, his hand on the
doorframe.

A thought comes to mind. I
climb back out of the car and stomp towards the house.

I grab my coat but as soon as I
get near him I click my fingers, “Oh, wait. I totally forgot.” I
lift my t-shirt over my head and throw it at him.

“
What are you
doing?” His eyes widen as he takes me in wearing nothing but a bra
and trousers.

I kick off my shoes and tug my
trousers down, ignoring the horrid feel of the wet dirt beneath my
socks.

“
What do you
think you’re doing?” Nathan hisses as I kick the jeans at
him.

I slip my feet back into my
shoes and snatch my coat from his hands. Shrugging it on I give him
a friendly smile, “You bought those too.”

“
You can have
the clothes,” he gawps, disbelief plain on his face.

“
No thanks, I
don’t want anything from you. Not unless it’s for Dillan.” I button
my coat up at the front, ignoring the fact it doesn’t even cover my
thighs and lean into the back of the car to grab Dillan. I’m
probably giving him a spectacular view of my lace knickers fright
now.

“
Now what are
you doing?” He snaps as I cradle my son to my chest and walk
casually to the boot. With one hand I pull out his pram and unfold
it with the aid of my foot. I place Dillan inside and wrap him
tightly in his blanket. I use the rain cover to keep the cold air
from attacking him. “Guinevere!”

“
Yes?” I
enquire sweetly, stopping a few feet from the car.

“
You’ve made
your point.”

I pretend to be confused,
almost laughing evilly at the look of defeat on his face. “Point?
What point? I thought you wanted back everything you bought for
me?”

“
Gwen,” he
sighs, looking exhausted. “Stop this.”

“
Nope. If you
want to be an idiot, then I’ll just be an idiot right back.” I
click my fingers again. “Now that I think about it,” I let out a
little laugh and shake my head as if telling myself I’m stupid.
“You bought me this underwear too.”

His eyelids stretch as far as
physically possible, his mouth drops open. “You wouldn’t. Anybody
could see you. You’ll get ill.”

“
I didn’t
realise you cared Nathan,” I bat my eyelashes and lift up the hem
of the coat. My thumbs hook into the edges of my French
knickers.

He gulps, his eyes almost
daring me to do it. “That’s it!” I let out a scream which is half a
reaction to being startled at the fact I’m now over his shoulder
and half triumphant at the fact I cracked him.

His shoulder digs into my
stomach as he carries me back to the house, he uses his other hand
to push the pushchair. I smile. Score one to me.

“
The only
reason…” He begins but I scowl deeply at him and admonish, “Save
whatever horse crap you’re about to try and feed me. You care. You
just proved that. I win this round.”