Broken (Broken #1) (46 page)

I get changed in the bathroom
after brushing my teeth and washing my face. Nathan gets changed
upstairs. By the time he’s done I’m already in bed.

It’s rare that we go to bed
together, I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. I like our night
time cuddles far more than I should.

He slides in usually after I’m
sleeping and doesn’t wrap himself around me until he’s in the land
of slumber himself. This time he instantly presses his front to my
back and curls his legs with mine.

“
I never
thought I’d enjoy sleeping with somebody,” he admits quietly, his
breath blowing the wispy hairs that lay over my ear and down my
neck. “But now I can’t imagine a night without your body
heat.”

That and my arse seems to be
the perfect seat for his penis. Speak of the devil… ping.

This happens quite a lot,
normally I don’t notice until the morning. I don’t say anything
though and neither does he, though I just felt him tense slightly
as if waiting for my reaction. In the mornings if I wake up before
him I stay perfectly still and wait for him to notice, he usually
rolls away from me or climbs out of bed and gets ready for the
day.

Now it’s like there’s an
elephant in the room. I should say something but what is there to
say? The last time this happened and we were both awake it was
awkward and funny. This time it’s not funny, it’s just awkward and
a little bit of something else. Arousing.

We both lie perfectly still, as
if waiting for the other to say something or to move. I bite down
hard on my lower lip, a bit unnerved about what to do.

My leg starts to cramp so I
relax back, wincing when his plaid pyjama bottoms tighten on his
erect member as it slides between my thighs. His answering gasp
tells me he definitely felt that too.

Soft fingers trail along my
forearm, causing me to shudder. They travel up my bicep before
tightly squeezing my shoulder and moving down my ribs. A warm hand
comes to rest on my hip, my heart beat skips a few before beating a
heavy rhythm in my chest. Everything tingles and I feel goose
pimples rise all over my heated flesh.

A flash of pleasure uncurls in
my stomach as his hand pulls my hip back into him. My hand clenches
tightly around the pillow case near my nose. A whimper escapes me
and I hear him let out a breathy moan.

His hips pull back, I know he’s
not wearing underwear beneath his pyjamas because I can feel his
warm skin move over his solid length, beneath the thin cotton. For
some reason this causes me to tremble and ache. My eyes squeeze
shut as I let his slow movement torture and tease me with something
I can never have.

He pushes back between my
thighs slowly, exquisitely. A quiet groan escapes him, his chest
vibrates against my back and his lips come into contact with the
curve of my neck.

Blood boils beneath the surface
of my skin, I become overwhelmed with a hot flash of heat that
won’t dissipate. Need unfurls in the pit of my stomach and travels
the length of my spine as his teeth gently bite at the skin below
my ear.

This is so wrong but I can’t
stop it. The head of him pushes between my lower lips, forcing the
fabric of my pyjama shorts to ride up in the most delicious way. It
bumps against my clit, a cry escapes me and Nathan takes this as
permission to give me more.

His hand tightens its hold of
my hip and his pelvis grinds into me again. We shouldn’t be doing
this. I shouldn’t be enjoying this but I can’t help it. I’m only
human.

Ragged breathing is now against
my ear, the sound mingling with my own. The burning follows my
blood flow, reaching the end of every limb. I whimper, my hand
wrapping around Nathan’s, my hips pushing back to meet his. Oh
god.

Can’t breathe.

Lights pop behind my eyes when
I hear a hoarse cry rip from his throat.

Dillan cries and we both
tense.

Reality seems to hit us both at
the same time.

“
I’ve got
it,” I blurt and in seconds I’m out of bed and across the hall, my
hands trembling, my legs jelly. Scooping Dillan up with a strength
I shouldn’t have right now, I quickly change him and give him my
breast. The discomfort of it helps me to gather my
thoughts.

What the heck is wrong with
me?

I’m cuddling Dillan and rocking
him for only ten minutes before he’s asleep again. I need to speak
to Nathan, we need to stop this. We can’t let this continue. It’s
wrong and… it’s just wrong.

Caleb… I touch the picture of
his gorgeous face that I hung from the cot mobile only a week ago.
His smile makes me feel so damn guilty for whatever it is I’m
doing.

The picture turns with the soft
tinkling tune that plays as the mobile spins slowly. Tiny beige
stuffed animals hang from its wooden points. Like being in a
trance, I stare at the slowly moving mobile and lose myself for a
moment, imagining what could have been.

Tears fall from my eyes as I
think about what I’ve done. I wouldn’t even consider doing this if
Caleb were alive. It would be so morally wrong and in a way… taboo.
Nathan is his brother! This is stuff you see on the TV happening to
other people. Reality shows where they have paternity tests to
determine the father of the child.

Yet it’s happening to me.

My heart is so confused. My
head tells me this is wrong but whenever I’m with Nathan my heart
is conflicted. One part screams for Caleb and the piece he took
with him, the other half tells me how much I love being around
Nathan, how good he makes me feel. How cherished he makes me feel.
How protected.

Sucking in my fear, I bury it
deep down and slowly make my way to my room.

Where’s Nathan?

I step back out and notice the
door at the end of the hall is open, the one leading to his
bedroom. I should leave him alone, maybe he doesn’t want to sleep
with me now. That isn’t a bad thing. We’ve taken this too far.

For some reason I can’t leave
him. I start forward, my pulse throbbing with every step, my nerves
rising. The last thing I want is to hurt him or to push him away;
but he needs to understand that this, whatever this is between us,
can’t happen.

I slowly and quietly ascend the
stairs. There’s no light coming from beneath his bedroom door.

It’s shut, I should knock but
for some strange reason I don’t. Maybe I’m worried I’ll wake him.
At least… that’s what I tell myself.

The door opens an inch at a
time with the assistance of my hand.

I hear his breathing, his heavy
laboured breath. Another noise accompanies it. My head screams at
me to look away but I can’t.

Instantly my mouth goes dry, as
I stare at Nathan’s profile through the crack in the door. He’s
standing, one hand leaning on the chest of drawers by his bed, the
other… wrapped around his swollen and angry looking length. His
blue and white pyjama trousers are still up so I’m assuming he’s
only pulled the front down.

Slowly his hand strokes back
and forth, a leather glove on it. That’s weird. Maybe he likes the
feel of it.

His shoulders tense and his
muscles bulge as he continues working himself. It’s an amazing
sight. One I shouldn’t be appreciating.

“
Damn it,” he
whispers, his eyes on something on the desk in front of him. I
can’t see what it is, the room is too dark and it’s too far
away.

The muscles in his arm tense
and flex as he picks up the pace, his hand now working almost
furiously on himself. My stomach clenches, I feel myself become
slowly wet as I watch the scene before me.

Gulp. He pulls on himself
faster and harder, it looks almost painful. So raw, so…
desperate.

I lean closer to the door. Big
mistake.

My jellified legs buckle
slightly as I lean, I catch myself on the door handle causing it to
click.

My heart stops and I begin to
shake. Oh crap.

He freezes, his eyes close, the
whites no longer shining in the dim light coming through the open
curtains.

I contemplate running but I’d
just look like a creeper. Hell, I am a creeper.

Shiny beads of sweat glisten on
his forehead like tiny diamonds, I have the urge to wipe them from
his brow. I don’t. Instead I stand in the doorway, my mouth parted
in silent shock.

He’s going to get angry, I just
know it.

“
Are you
going to just stand there?” His voice is deep and hoarse, I’ve
never heard it sound this way before. It caresses me in places like
a hand would. “Seeing as you’ve already invaded my privacy, a few
more steps won’t hurt.”

Gulp.

He turns, tucking himself back
into his pyjamas, forming a tent in the front with his straight and
impressive erection.

“
I… I’m
sorry… I came to…” My thoughts won’t gather, my mouth is too dry,
my eyes won’t leave his twitching length. “To talk.”

“
Talk?” He
smirks in the dark. “What about?”

“
About,”
something to do with something. “Something.” Face palm.
“Downstairs, in bed.”

His smirk widens, “Care to
elaborate?”

“
I…” Oh crap.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I just…” I’m an idiot. “I’m
sorry.”

In four long strides he’s
grabbing me and pressing me against the wall, his faces inches from
mine. “Did you enjoy watching me?”

Oh my god. “I should go back to
my room.” Nodding frantically I try to squeeze from between him and
the wall.

“
There’s
nothing wrong with feeling aroused,” he traps me by pressing his
body against mine, his thickness pushing up between us, resting
between our pelvic bones. “If I touch you down there will you be
wet?”

Yes. God yes. “Nathan,” I don’t
know whether I’m pleading or warning.

“
I’ll take
that as a yes,” he chuckles and nips at my neck, making me want to
arch my back and push my aching breasts against his
chest.

No. I didn’t come up here for
this, “I should go.”

“
You don’t
want to.”

I place my hands on his chest
between us and push him back a step, slowly and gently. “I need
to.”

He looks at me for a long
moment before speaking, and what he says shocks me so badly, my
mind goes blank. All previous thoughts flee. “I know you’re not
ready yet. I don’t expect you to be. I also don’t care how long it
takes.” He winds a lock of my hair around his gloved finger,
reminding me of where that hand was not moments ago. Oh god. “I
won’t stop trying.”

“
T… trying
what?” I stammer and lick my dry lips.

“
To make you
mine.” Thud. My heart just hit my ribcage in an attempt to run
screaming. I blink in shock. “This is more than just an obligation
to you and Dillan. I can’t hide it anymore and I can’t keep
pretending that we aren’t perfect for each other when clearly… we
are.” The arrogance in his tone should make me angry, the things
he’s insinuating should make me really angry; they don’t. I only
have one thing on my mind right now. It begins with S and ends in
X. His words only fuel my desire and it takes everything I have to
stop myself from wrapping around him like a koala and clinging on
for dear life. “But I won’t push you like I have. I want you to
come to me when you’re ready.” His admission brings me back to
earth for a flicker of a second and the guilt I feel pierces
through my lusting state.

“
And what if
I don’t?” I ask, because I doubt I will. No matter how bad he seems
to be affecting me I could never betray Caleb like that.

Pain flickers in his eyes for a
moment, “Then I’ll just have to enjoy you in any way I can get
you.”

“
And if I
do?” Why did I ask that? It just came out.

I open my mouth to tell him not
to answer but I’m too late. His words are firm and sure. His smile
gentle yet cocky. “Then I intend to marry you and keep you for a
very long time.”

My mouth forms the shape of an
O, like Bridget Jones when she walks into the party wearing a bunny
suit. “Oh.”

Chapter
Twenty Two

I’m stood at my car outside of
the supermarket, piling my groceries into the boot when a tall and
not too handsome male approaches me. “Excuse me sweetheart.” He
runs his fingers through his greying hair and blows out a long
breath. “Sorry to bother you, I’m Carl.”

I don’t respond, I’m not a fan
of being approached by strangers, no matter how friendly they seem.
Where the hell is Nathan? He only went to change Dillan whilst I
took the trolley to the car. He should be here by now.

He notices my lack of response
but doesn’t seem offended, “I’m sort of a messenger.”

“
Okay.” Where
is he going with this?

“
I was told
to deliver this directly to you,” he holds out a large brown
envelope that’s bulging at the bottom.

I stare at the envelope, my
eyes blinking stupidly. Should I take it? Maybe I can…

Dillan is thrust into my arms,
I barely manage to catch him before Nathan is on Carl. I let out a
scream when Nathan brings his fist back and swings it around, it
connects with Carl’s cheekbone but he quickly retaliates.

The hit didn’t even daze Nathan
and it was a hard hit.

“
You stay the
hell away from her!” Nathan shouts, blocking Carl’s next swing and
grabbing him by the throat. “Get Dillan in the car
Gwen.”

I don’t need telling twice, I
quickly climb into the back and strap Dillan into his car seat. He
lets out a baby cry but soon settles which I’m grateful for.

During this time Nathan has
Carl pressed up against the back of the car. I scramble out,
convinced that Dillan will be okay for a moment. Nathan needs
me.