Broken Pasts (7 page)

“
But
why do you want to protect them?” she asked, sounding
exasperated as she picked at her zebra patterned leggings.

“
Rhea
… ”

“
Because
I've seen what happens when someone doesn't. It doesn't just hurt
the good person. It hurts their whole family. I just don't want to
see anyone else get hurt like that.” Rhea opened her mouth at
the same moment that I wrapped my hand around her head and gave her a
big, fat kiss.

“
Mom!”
she yelled as she pushed away from me and grabbed her backpack.
“Gross!” Rhea grabbed the door handle and started to
climb out.

“
Look
for this car after school, okay?” I paused as her teacher, Mr.
Clarke, moved over to us and checked Rhea in with a clipboard. “And
don't go with anyone else, do you understand?” She ignored me
and raced to catch up with a group of girls near the gated entrance.

“
Is
everything okay, Theresa?” he asked me, eyeing the car, and its
driver, with interest.

“
It's
just … I'm having a personal problem and I don't want Rhea to
get involved. Please, don't let her leave with anyone except for
me.” Mr. Clarke watched me for a moment and I could see that
his curiosity was piqued. To his credit though, he asked nothing.

“
Of
course.” I smiled.

“
Thank
you so much,” I said as the cars behind us started to honk.
You'd think having kids would teach you some manners, you spoiled
rotten brats.
I was, of course, referring to the parents and not
the children. As I waved goodbye to both Mr. Clarke and Rhea, I
closed the door and made a promise that I would get him an apple or
something as a gift. “Do you think she'll be okay?” I
asked, thinking aloud. “I mean, the school is gated and they
do have their own police officer, but I just … ”

“
Stalkers
are usually fairly single-minded. It's doubtful that Gary would go
after Rhea. That doesn't mean you want to leave her unsupervised,
but she'll be fine at school.”

“
Will
you stay outside her door tonight?” I asked. If something
happened to me, I'd deal with it, but Rhea … I shivered to
even consider it.

“
Absolutely,”
he told me and his voice was firm and confident, strong. I had no
qualms about trusting him with my daughter's life, strange as that
sounds. Something about Nathaniel was just right on target for me.
I had never felt this way about anyone before, not once. It was both
scary and exhilarating. And now I was even more interested.
I
just don't want to see
anyone else
get hurt like that.
He'd
said
anyone else
, meaning people other than him. Meaning he'd
been hurt before.

“
Thank
you,” I told him. “For pretending. I appreciate that.”

“
It's
okay,” he replied and I could hear the slightest touch of
amusement in his voice. “I've done it before though I can
honestly admit that it's never been this pleasant.” I felt
myself flush with pleasure at that statement, thoroughly convinced
that that was also not a very professional thing to say. “I've
been an uncle, a son, a cousin, an
attorney,
” he
stressed it like a joke and pretended to shudder. “A vampire.”
I laughed.

“
A
vampire?” I asked, amused. “Sounds like the perfect
cover for a bodyguard. Much less suspicious.” Nathaniel
laughed and it was that same snorting, silly laugh from before. It
was the kind of laugh that made you want to join in alongside it,
like he'd seen enough in his life to know what was really funny and
that you could trust him on it.

“
The
client was this lovely, young woman who'd changed her name from Anna
Yearling to Erika Van Doe. She was involved in an underground drug
ring full of people who believed they were actually vampires. Some
of the most horrifying moments of my life were spent in that woman's
basement.” Nathaniel paused. “So much for client
confidentiality,” he said as if he were disappointed in
himself. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that.”

“
If
it makes you feel any better, I thought it was pretty funny.”
He laughed then, suddenly, like he was nervous, which was strange
because the thought of Nathaniel being nervous about anything seemed
a near impossibility. “Just don't go telling anybody that I
stay up late to watch crime dramas or I'll sue you.” His
laughter this time was guilt free, feel good laughter, the kind you
can sink your teeth into.

“
I
promise I won't,” he assured me and I believed him.

Isn't
it interesting how much you can tell about someone from their laugh?

CHAPTER 8

“
I
work as a web developer and I don't even like computers. Is that
weird?” I asked Nathaniel as he held open the door to my office
for me. And he always opened and closed the car doors, too.
Perfect
gentleman,
I thought and then I tried to inject myself with a
dose of reality.
He's a professional bodyguard, not your
boyfriend.
Boyfriend. Ech. I was too old for boyfriends. I
wanted a partner, a friend, a lover, a confidante. Was I asking too
much?

“
Not
at all,” he told me, green eyes glittering with amusement. “I
used to work as a Linux system administrator.” I turned around
and walked backwards for a moment, so I could get a good look at his
face.

“
You?”
I asked, surprised. “Seriously?” Nathaniel was too good
looking for such an invisible job.
All of that body buried behind
a desk. Shame.
I swallowed hard and turned back around, laying
my hands across the front of my secretary's desk.

“
Very
briefly,” he admitted. “Just long enough to prove that
college hadn't been a complete waste of my time.”

“
And
then you found your passion in security?” I said with a smile.
His face shut down then, turned off completely. The light in
Nathaniel's eyes faded, leaving him with a haunted look that I hadn't
seen before.

“
I
guess you could say that,” he told me, but his voice was
neutral, not at all playful or conversational.
Another piece to
the puzzle,
I thought as I gave him the privacy I was pretty sure
he wanted and turned my attention back to the door behind the desk.
Maybe he's going to be an easier nut to crack than I'd first
thought.

“
Good
morning, Brenda,” I said as my secretary popped out the door
with a doughnut in her mouth and a completely inappropriate top
draped over her massive breasts. Let's just say, it was white, her
bra was black, enough said. But she was a sweet girl and she was
smart and eager to learn. I had taken her on more as an apprentice
than as a secretary, but since she seemed to function perfectly well
at both, that's the way we ran it. As soon as she saw Nathaniel, the
doughnut fell from her mouth in a blaze of glaze and landed right on
the brand new, leather office chair I had just ordered. She cringed
and snatched it back up in a hurry, tossing it into the garbage can
under her desk.

“
S-sorry,”
she said as she grabbed her tablet and moved the stylus around like
she was running a marathon with her fingers. As she did this, she
bit her lower lip and ran her tongue across her teeth. “Is
this a new client?” she asked, voice overtly incurious,
nonchalant. I looked over my shoulder at Nathaniel and saw that he'd
replaced his sunglasses and was standing with his hands crossed over
his belly, arms stiff, shoulders back, very much the professional.
Defense mechanism maybe?

“
Brenda,
this is my bodyguard, Nathaniel. He'll be spending the week with
me.” I paused and wondered exactly how much I should tell her.
Satisfied that it was now 'okay' to look at him, Brenda let her blue
eyes rake Nathaniel's suited form which still looked as pressed and
as polished as it had yesterday morning.

“
Lovely
to meet you,” she said as she batted her blonde eyelashes and
passed the tablet over the top of the counter to me. I stared at
Nathaniel's frozen face and decided that maybe it would be better if
he wasn't 'allowed' to talk while he was here.

“
He
can't talk,” I said apologetically as I checked the maelstrom
of shit that had occurred over my long holiday weekend. “Just
pretend that he's not even there, okay?” I handed the tablet
back with a smile and led Nathaniel down the hallway to my personal
office.

I
had a very, very long day ahead of me.

***

With
the amount of work I had for the week, I was going to have to pull
all-nighters to get it all done, but then, I couldn't let anyone else
pick up Rhea. The risk to reward ratio was not a good one, so at
three o'clock, Nathaniel and I left for Rhea's school.

While
I was internally debating the benefits of going back to the office or
doing some work from home, I checked my phone and found several
missed calls from a restricted number. My first thought was, of
course, Gary, but I checked the messages just to be certain. Sure
enough, as soon as they started to play, there was his voice, light
and normal, like nothing strange had happened between us.

“
Hey
Theresa, it's me, Gary. I just wanted to see if you and Rhea were up
for bowling night on Friday. Could you call me back and let me know
which alley? Okay, I love you. Bye.”

“
Hey
Theresa, it's me, Gary. I was calling to ask if you wanted to get
together for dinner tonight. I know you're busy, but it would mean
the world to me. How about that place we went for New Year's Eve?
Call me back. I love you. Bye.”

“
Hey
Theresa, you stupid fucking bitch. You can't fucking ignore me. You
cannot
fucking ignore me, do you hear me? Are you just
mentally fucked or do you like playing games with people's hearts?
This is
my
heart, Theresa.
Mine.
And I won't let you
screw it up.”

“
Hey
Theresa, your new boyfriend can't be there every minute, baby. When
you're done sucking his dick, he'll leave and I'll be there. Or
maybe I should rephrase that. I
am
here. That's a cute
little skirt you're wearing and I like the red top, very sexy. Maybe
when we're alone I'll – ”

I
ended the call. Four messages from that man were four too many. If
I had to hear him say in words what he'd said in the note, I might
just have a nervous breakdown.

“
He
called me,” I told Nathaniel, trying to hold myself in check.
“I got a new number yesterday and he already knows it. He –
”

“
It's
alright,” Nathaniel said as he finally removed the sunglasses
he'd been wearing all day. The sight of his eyes, clear and
confident in the rearview gave me the burst of energy I needed to
take a massive breath, slow my heart rate and relax. “It
happens. We'll change the number again, as many times as we need to.
When you give it out, give it to as few people as you can and let
them know that under no circumstances are they to share it with
anyone. Try to think of it as a good thing that he called. This
establishes a pattern of inappropriate behavior, gives us the
evidence that we need to get him arrested. The more he does it while
I'm here, the better.” I saw him purse his lips in the mirror.
“What happens if he's still stalking you when the week's out?”

“
I
don't know,” I replied honestly. I hadn't thought that far
ahead. Somewhere in my mind, I was still convinced that if I just
waited Gary out, that he would go away. “I guess I'll deal
with it when the time comes.” Nathaniel nodded, but he didn't
look happy. I dropped my gaze from the mirror and waited in silence
until we got to the school.

Rhea
was a welcome burst of energy when she got in the car, like a
fireworks display in pink and zebra. She handed me some paintings
from art class and even had one for Nathaniel. In keeping with her
current theme, it was … well, it was a penis. With a note
attached for a parent-teacher conference. I decided to laugh it off
rather than stress it off as I ruffled her hair and tried to keep her
from taking off her seat belt.

“
But
I made it for him,” she whined as she tried to toss the paper
into the front seat.

“
Mr.
Sutherland is driving,” I said as I tried to distract her with
the other pieces. “What's this one? Is this a cat?”
She ignored me and crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to even
look at me. In a surprise move, Nathaniel pulled the car over to the
curb, turned around and smiled at Rhea.

“
Let
me see,” he said and in his voice was genuine interest. She
whipped around in less time than it took me to blink and thrust the
painting of the massive green and purple phallus at him.

“
This
is you,” she said as she pointed at the crinkled watercolor.
Nathaniel raised his dark eyebrows and then against his better
judgment, he let out another nervous snort of laughter.

“
True
to size, too,” he said as he glanced up at me and I flushed,
bright as scarlet. He blinked, too, like he'd just realized what
he'd said and cleared his throat. “I apologize,” he
grumbled. “That was completely inappropriate. I – ”

“
Are
you guys getting married?” Rhea asked as she slumped back in
her seat with a sigh, completely oblivious to the fact that there was
something going on between Nathaniel and I. I could barely hear her
over the rush of blood that was pounding in my ears like drums.
Lower parts of me clenched and tightened, begging for something.
No,
not something, Nathaniel.
And it was different than the lust I'd
felt even a few nights before with Stuart. I didn't just want to
sleep with him because I was lonely or because I was turned on. I
wanted to sleep with him because I was starting to
like
him.
That was a dangerous word to me, especially with everything that had
happened. The men that I'd liked had let me down in the worst ways.
I turned my face away and tried to laugh off Rhea's words.

“
Mommy's
never walking down the aisle again,” I said and I was surprised
when she kicked the back of the passenger seat in anger. “What's
wrong?” I asked as Nathaniel took the paper and folded it
gently in half, tucking it into the dash.

“
I
want a new dad,” she told me and I blinked in surprise. Her
face was locked into such a deep frown that there were two lines
running down the sides of her chin like a marionette. I sat there in
silence for a moment while I waited for her to continue. She didn't.

“
How
come?” Nathaniel asked for me, still smiling softly. It looked
good on that strong face, like he could crush a car but also like he
could pick up a butterfly without harming it.

“
Because
I don't like mine,” she said as if that was obvious. “He
gives Angie, Carrie, and Mina anything they want. He doesn't let me
go see Grandpa B. and Grandma G., and he told me that I didn't come
from his penis.” A rush of anger struck through me, fighting
with my reaction to Nathaniel for supremacy. We were back to penises
again which was good, in a way, but the fact that Glen had told Rhea
she was adopted without my consent or knowledge, even in a roundabout
way, was infuriating. I clenched my purse in my fist and tried not
to scream. That could come later, when I got Glen on the phone.
“Mom,” she asked tentatively, as if this was the most
important thing in the world. “Am I a part of you?” I
thought for a long moment about how to answer, what would constitute
a lie, how important the truth was in that moment. I looked her
straight in the face when I said.

“
The
most important part of all.”

***

“
I
want to apologize again,” Nathaniel said later, after we'd come
home and Rhea had taken a bath and gone to bed. I'd hardly gotten
any work done, too occupied was I with wanting to kill Glen and Gary.
A husband is supposed to be a partner, someone to take on life with
you, not throw the worst parts of it in your face. Not stand outside
your house and stare like a fucking lunatic which is what Gary had
done for over an hour after we'd come home to find him outside.
Nathaniel had recorded the entire thing out the window while Rhea and
I had hidden in her room, playing video games. Now he was finally
gone and I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. “I was
completely inappropriate and in front of your daughter, too. I'd
like to refund some of your money.” I stared at him for a long
moment, trying to process his words.
True to size, too.
Okay,
so maybe it was a little inappropriate, but it had also been wildly
sexy. Rhea hadn't understood, so where was the harm?

“
No,”
I said as I shook my head and opened the freezer, eyes locked on the
last remaining drops of my Jägermeister. If there was ever an
appropriate time to have some, it was now. I poured the rest into a
glass. “You're more than doing your job. I won't accept a
refund.” Nathaniel paused with his hands resting on the blue
tiles of the island.

“
Then
let me at least give you an extra couple days of protection, no
charge.” I sipped the Jäger quietly for a moment and then
once again, shook my head. Nathaniel was beautiful and interesting
and different. Dangerous. He was dangerous. In solving this
mystery, I was going to get involved. Two days of knowing him and
already, I was enraptured. I couldn't do this.

“
No,”
I said and nearly dropped my glass when there was a knock on the
door. Nathaniel smiled at me, but it was kind of … sad. I
stared into his eyes for a moment that stretched into forever. He
was searching me for something though I couldn't say what.