Cowboy Desires: The Complete Collection (10 page)

With the windows rolled down, the summer wind blew threw and my hair was all over the place. I was fine with it. There was nothing better than a ride in a truck on a summer night. That was the small town girl in me.

We arrived at the bar by the lake after about a 15-minute ride. I was surprised to see such a large crowd on a Tuesday night. I climbed down from the backseat and followed Erin and Dan in as they walked hand in hand in their matching team t-shirts.

They greeted a bunch of friends, and I knew a few of them. Dan bought me a beer, and I settled in at a table near the dartboards. I wasn’t a very good player, so I was happy to sit on the sidelines and cheer them on.

After a couple of games and a couple more rounds, I had a nice buzz. There was a jukebox playing some great music, and I loved the atmosphere. I went over and put a dollar in, choosing my four songs, then made my way back over to the group. Before I got there, a large hand wrapped around my upper arm and swung me around.

“Hey pretty girl.”

I spun around to see Austin standing there looking drop dead gorgeous. He had on a black t-shirt that showed his muscular arms and chest. The black cowboy hat on his head was tipped down just enough to cover his eyes if he wanted to. His jeans were tight, but not too tight. He had on black boots and he smelled like a man should. Cologne mixed with a little bit of sweat. His hands were always a little dirty, even when he scrubbed them, and the rough patches showed that he worked his ass off. I knew I wasn’t the only woman in that bar with my eyes on him.

“Austin! Hey! I had no idea you would be here.”

“I can say the same. I’ve barely heard from you, baby. I’ve been missing you terribly. You look so damn beautiful tonight. Part of me wants to take you right out of here so no one else can look at you.”

“Oh stop! I’m just another girl. And I’m not hot compared to some of the skinny little bitches in here!”

“Well, darlin, you and I both know that skinny bitches ain’t my style. You are. Every inch of that beautiful body of yours is perfect, Jamie. If I had my way, I’d take you outside right now and show you.”

I laughed nervously when he said that because I wanted him to do just that. The sexual attraction I felt for him was crazy.

“Who says I wouldn’t want you to? But first I really need to talk to you about something important.”

I headed back over to my table, and he followed. I caught Erin’s eye, and she looked like she was about to come over, but I gave her a nod to let her know that she should stay away for now.

He settled in right next to me, and I could feel the heat passing between us. It was out of control what this man’s mere presence could do to me.

“I saw you yesterday with Jackson and Andrea. I was having ice cream nearby when I spotted you.”

“Yeah, sometimes we take him out together. I didn’t see you there.”

He shifted a little in his seat, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he had something to hide.

“I kept my distance because I didn’t want to intrude or cause any problems. It looked like you two were locked in a pretty serious conversation. Then I saw you kiss by the car. I’m a little bit confused, even though I know I have no room to talk.”

“We were talking about something, yes. She wants me back. She wants us to be a family again. She wants to get married. And I didn’t kiss her, darlin. She kissed me, and I didn’t want to be rude in front of my boy, so I let her. I have to teach him respect. I called her later that night and told her to never do that to me again. It’s not fair to put me in that position when she knows that I can’t push her away.”

“I can understand that. I have to admit that it made me very jealous to see that. Plus, you have a family together. How can I ever compete with that?”

“This isn’t a competition, baby. She is the past and you are the present. I’m hoping you are the future, too. The hurt she put me through is not something I can just forget. I know you know exactly what I mean. I want us to put each other back together again. We both deserve to be happy with someone new. I want that someone to be you.”

“I feel like we could have a great future, too. But I’m worried. She is not going to let you go that easy, and I don’t know if I have the strength to fight.”

“Well, it won’t be a fight if I let her go. But I will fight for you. You are worth it.”

Our eyes were locked, and so were our hands. The song on the jukebox changed to one of my slow selections. He pulled me off of my stool out to the dance floor.

His big, strong arms were around me in an instant, and I buried my face in his chest. He rocked me slowly around the dance floor like I was the most precious thing in the world to him. My arms were wrapped around his back, and I let my hips mold with his as he took the lead. I sang the words to the song quietly and took in this sweet moment. I felt so close to him, and I didn’t want to let go.

When the song ended, he looked into my eyes and then his lips were on mine. It started of sweet and slow, but quickly turned passionate and desperate. I pulled away, remembering that we were in the middle of a crowded bar and not in my living room.

“Baby, will you please come for a ride with me? I promise to get you home.”

I nodded and went over to let Erin know that I was leaving with him. She had a few choice words for me, but she also knew I was a big girl and needed to make my own decisions and mistakes.

I was back by his side in a minute or so, and he led me outside. He opened his truck door and practically picked me up to help me in faster. Then he went to his side and got us out of there fast. He pulled me close to him in the seat, and I couldn’t hold back. My hand was on his inner thigh, rubbing dangerously close to what I wanted the most.

I started to kiss and nibble on his neck and ear, telling him how much I wanted him to touch me. Feeling out of control with desire. I took his right hand and guided it to the hot spot between my legs, asking him to feel how much I wanted him.

“Jamie, I am gonna crash this truck if you keep this up. I want you so much, baby.”

He was practically growling as the heel of his hand rubbed me through my jeans. I was grinding against his hand, dying for skin-to-skin contact. He turned the truck off a side road and when he finally stopped, we were parked in a secluded spot next to the lake.

He turned the truck off and pulled me to him. His hands were wound in my hair and his tongue was in my mouth, searching for what he needed.

He broke contact and got out of the truck. He grabbed a blanket from the back seat and put it in the back. Then he came to my side and pulled me out. I was surprised when he carried me, but I wrapped my legs around him. He set me on the lowered tailgate and took my flip-flops off.

“Unbutton those jeans and slide them and those pretty panties down.”

I did what he asked, never breaking eye contact with him. When I got them to my knees, he pulled them the rest of the way off and threw them aside. Making sure that the blanket was situated under me, he pulled me to the edge of the truck, spreading my legs wide. He took off his hat and set it next to me.

“Mmmm, baby. Look how perfect you are. I want to taste you baby. I want to make you scream my name and have it echo off the lake. I want to show you how much I need and want you.”

I didn’t have much time to think about what he said before he planted the first kiss on my clit.

When his tongue made contact, I lost it completely. He licked slow circles around it and then sucked it into his mouth. He moved down and licked my lips then put his tongue into my already sopping wet hole. When his tongue trailed even lower, I cried out. He was tasting my forbidden hole, and I was coming undone. He reached up and slid two fingers inside of me, curling them up to rub my magic spot on the inside. After thoroughly licking my ass for a few minutes, he returned to my clit, and I was so ready to come for him. He gave me a few hard sucks, and I screamed out his name, soaking his face with the wetness of my pleasure.

After I was finished, he got up and kissed me hard on the mouth, letting me taste myself on him. I took his shirt and pulled it over his head, and he did the same with mine. Then he reached around and undid my bra, letting my breasts fall free in the warm night air. He buried his face between them and made sure to take his time licking and sucking each nipple.

While he did that, I undid his belt and jeans and pushed them down. Within seconds, he was just as naked as me, surrounded by the sounds of the night and nothing else. I moved back further on the truck bed so that he could climb up. Feeling very naughty, I turned around and got on my hands and knees. My ass was completely exposed and my legs were spread wide, inviting him in.

“What a fucking hot sight, baby. I can’t wait to slide inside your perfect pussy. Tell me how much you want me to fuck you.”

“I want you to put that big cock inside of me, baby. Show me how much you want me. Give it to me. Please.”

That was all he needed to hear. He came close, and I could feel the tip of his hard cock against my opening. I pushed back against it, done with the teasing.

“Baby, you’re so hot and wet. You have the tightest pussy. I want it to be all mine.”

He pushed forward at this point, filling me completely. He sat there for a few seconds before moving in and out of me again. I cried out from the pleasure of being filled up by him.

He grabbed my hips and started a slow rhythm against me, moving his hips with mine. His balls were slapping against my clit with every thrust, and I didn’t want it to stop. I spun my head around so I could watch him hard at work behind me.

“Austin, you feel so fucking good. Fuck me harder, baby. Don’t hold back. I won’t break. Fuck me hard and come inside me. I want your come in me.”

“I aim to please, baby. I’ll fuck you nice and hard.”

With that, he pushed into me over and over, bottoming out with each thrust. We were both moaning and yelling from the intensity of the moment, and it didn’t matter.

“Baby, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come. Uuuuuuhhh!!!”

He thrust into me hard one more time, then stayed there as he filled me with a huge load. I stayed there and waited for him to come down from his high. When he did, he pulled me down next to him in the bed of the truck and held me close.

“Jamie, you surprise me every time. You are the most beautiful and perfect woman I have ever met. I want to be able to have adventures like this with you for the rest of my life.”

“That was perfect, Austin. You are so hot and you made me come so hard. You made this an amazing night.”

We laid there under the stars for a while, letting it all sink in. I started to get chilly after a while, so we got dressed and got back in the truck. He held me close as we started to drive back out of the woods. When we were on the road, I noticed that the light from my phone was flashing in my purse.

I checked it and there were 15 missed calls from Erin. Then I saw the text from her.

There was an accident. Mason’s in the hospital. It’s bad. Where are you?

*****

~Vol. 4 – The Choice~

As soon as I read Jamie’s text that Mason had been in an accident, I knew I had to tell Austin what was going on. It was going to completely ruin the moment, but I had to get to him. I asked Austin to bring me right to the hospital and drop me off. He agreed to do it, but I could see that his jaw was tense, and he didn’t reach out to touch me again.

My mind was racing. I was just having wild sex with Austin while Mason was hurt badly. I felt guilt and fear overwhelm me as I thought about Mason dying. I was so upset with him, but I didn’t want to live in a world that he wasn’t in. He was the only person who knew our secret and the only one I could confide in about it. If he was gone, then it would really be like none of it ever happened. I needed to get to him as fast as I could. I needed to see if he was okay and be by his side.

We rode to the hospital in silence, and I felt so bad about it. I didn’t want Austin to think that what we had just shared meant nothing to me. The truth was that it had been one of the hottest nights of my life. Austin had loved me thoroughly and given me exactly what I needed. Plus, he was a great dancer, and that got me every time. He was a gentleman who knew how to take care of a woman. When I had questioned him, he had been up front with me. But I was still in love with Mason. I knew that now. And as difficult as it was to accept, I had to.

Austin pulled up in front of the emergency room, and I turned to him.

“I’m so sorry about this, Austin. Tonight was amazing. I know you probably can’t understand why I need to go to him right now, but I do.”

“It’s okay. Do what you gotta do. Do you need me to bring you in?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. Thank you for everything. You are so sweet, and you have a part of my heart. I will call or text you later.”

I leaned over and gave him a kiss that lingered for a few seconds and then went inside. I practically ran to the front desk and asked the receptionist about Mason Phillips.

“Ma’am, he just came in a little while ago and is in the back. Are you a relative?”

I knew she wouldn’t give me any information if I told her no, so I lied.

“I’m his wife!”

“Oh! Okay, in that case, have a seat in the waiting room, and as soon as I know something, I will call you.”

“Please, I need to know. I got a text that he was in an accident when I was out of range of cell service. I need to know if he is okay.”

At this point, I was getting desperate. I needed to be with him. I needed to hold his hand and tell him I loved him. I couldn’t let him go this easily. I loved him too much. If only he had never left, maybe we would have been married by now. Maybe we would be on our way to starting our family again. Deep down in my heart, in the place where I hid all of my secrets, I knew he was my one true love. But I also knew that your one true love wasn’t always the person you would spend the rest of your life with. Life was too complicated for that, and circumstances could tear you apart.

“I need you to have a seat. There is nothing you can do right now. He is in good hands, and I will tell you as soon I have any information.”

I walked over to the nearby seating area and sat in a chair with my face in my hands. The tears were already running down my cheeks. Worry and fear were rippling through me, and I couldn’t stand the waiting. At this point, I had no information. I had nothing. I felt completely helpless. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Jamie, are you okay? How’s Mason?”

It was Erin, and Dave was right behind her.

“I don’t know. I just got here. I have no idea what’s going on back there. I even lied and said I was his wife so I could get information, but she still can’t tell me anything. Do you know what happened?”

She sat down the chair next to me and took my hand in hers.

“All I know is that he was driving home and somehow lost control of his truck. I got a call from Heather at the store because the police took off on the call from there. She said she heard he had rolled the truck.”

“Oh God! He’s back there hurting and injured, and I need to be with him. I can’t take this!”

She put her arms around me and held me while I cried.

“It will be okay, Jamie. Just let the doctors do their jobs, and I’m sure they will tell us something as soon as they can.”

I was sobbing hysterically by that time. You don’t really know how much someone means to you until you are afraid of losing them forever.

“If he leaves me, then I will be the only one who knows this pain. I will never be able to talk about her again. If he goes, he takes all of her with him. I can’t lose him!”

“Jamie, calm down. What are you talking about? Who will he take with him?”

Even in my state, I suddenly realized what I had just told her. No one knew about her until this moment, and I guessed it was as good a time as any to let her in on my secret.

“Our daughter. We lost her.”

“What? You’re not thinking straight right now. You never had a baby.”

“I was pregnant right before Mason left me. I lost the baby at 13 weeks. When I miscarried, he took off and left me alone. The doctors told me later that she was a girl. I lost everything that day, and I have never been the same.”

I started crying hard again and Erin held me close.

“So you’re telling me that he didn’t just leave you, but he left you right after you lost his baby? I thought he was an ass before, but now I want to punch him! Why didn’t you tell me this before? I would have been there with you. No wonder it took you so long to come out of it.”

“I was so ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had failed both of them. I thought he didn’t want me anymore because I couldn’t even carry our baby. One day we were so happy and getting ready to tell all of you, and the next day everything was gone.”

“You had nothing to be ashamed of. That happens to people every day. There was nothing you could have done to stop it, and I’m sure the next time everything will be fine. I can’t believe that coward walked away from you.”

“I couldn’t either. I was so angry with him for so long, but I also longed for him to come back every day. I needed him to help me grieve. I wanted to do it together. But he left. It turns out that he couldn’t handle losing her either. He chose to deal with it by leaving. He said he couldn’t face me then, but he knows now that the only way to heal is to be with me.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient for him to just be able to come back when he’s ready to deal with it? That is so unfair to you. I wish I had had pictures and videos of you from when he left so he can see what he did to you.”

“He says he cried every day. I believed him. Right now it doesn’t matter. I might lose him, and then I have lost them both. I can’t take this anymore. It can’t be a good sign if no one has come out with any news.”

She didn’t say anything after that. She just held me close while I cried and waited with me. After what seemed like hours, the woman behind the desk called me up.

“Mrs. Phillips?”

“Yes, what’s going on?”

I practically ran back to the counter. It was funny that I responded right away to Mrs. Phillips without any hesitation.

“Mr. Phillips is stable now. You can go back and see him. He’s in Room 4.”

I didn’t even respond to her. When she hit the button to buzz me into the back, I went as fast as I could in search of his room. When I found him, it was not what I expected.

He was on a hospital bed with an oxygen tube in his nose. His face was bruised, and his arm was in a splint. He had stitches in a big gash on his leg. He looked like he had been through hell. I immediately went to his side and took his hand in mine.

“Mason? Oh, baby, you look rough. Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

His eyes fluttered open slightly. He winced a little bit when he tried to shift his body to face me. I winced, too, at seeing him in so much pain. His voice came out in a deep whisper.

“Baby, you’re here. I’m hurting pretty badly. I swerved because a dog ran out in front of me. I must have been going too fast. My mind was on you.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried I was gonna lose you.”

“You’ll never lose me again unless you throw me out of your life. When my truck was rolling and I thought it might be over, I prayed hard that I would live so I could see your face one more time. And if I didn’t make it, you were the last thing on my mind.”

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his gently. I was so relieved that he seemed all right despite his various injuries. As much as he had hurt me, I realized that I still couldn’t imagine a world without him in it. Without the possibility of us being a family again.

“Well, I’m here now, and I’m gonna take care of you. We need to get you better.”

Just then a doctor came into his room.

“Mrs. Phillips? I’m Dr. Winther. I need to fill you in on the extent of your husband’s injuries.”

Mason cleared his throat when the doctor called him my husband, but he didn’t correct him.

“Mason suffered a partially collapsed lung, broken ribs, a broken arm, a cut to the leg, and a concussion. We are going to admit him and keep him here for observation for a couple of days. He is in a lot of pain, but he’s lucky it wasn’t worse. We are going to be sending him upstairs shortly.”

“Thank you, doctor, so much for all you’ve done for him. I’m so relieved to see that he’s going to be okay.”

The doctor stepped out of the room, and I could feel Mason’s eyes on me.

“Mrs. Phillips, huh? Did something more happen while I was knocked out?

I could tell he was really enjoying this, but I wasn’t. Now I had to explain my way out of this too.

“Oh, stop. I knew they wouldn’t tell me anything or let me see you if I wasn’t a relative, so I told a little white lie. It got me back here, didn’t it? I was out in the waiting room crying my eyes out. Erin and Dave are still out there.”

“Oh, great. I know Erin just loves me.”

“They were both worried about you. But, I have to tell you something. When I was crying and upset out there, I accidentally told Erin about the baby. And now she’s even more mad at you.”

“Oh, great, that’s even better. I’ll get out of here and she’ll put me right back in. Well, I guess the truth had to come out eventually. I wish you had told everyone back then. They already hated me for leaving anyway.”

“I was ashamed and didn’t want them to know. You know that. What’s done is done. I’ll keep her away from you for now. You just have to concentrate on getting better.”

“So now that we’re married, does this mean we’re back together?”

“No, it doesn’t change anything. You know I love you, and I will be here to help you while you recover. But we both know that we can’t just get back together without working a lot more things out.”

“But I could have died tonight, Jamie. Remember that there won’t always be a tomorrow or more time to figure things out. We should be together, and you know it. What’s holding you back? Austin? Were you with him tonight while I was thinking of you?”

“I don’t have to answer to you, Mason. But to tell you the truth, yes, I was with him. I went out to dart night with Erin and Dave and he was there. I left the bar with him.”

The heart monitor that Mason was attached to started going crazy and he winced in pain as he tried to clench the fist attached to his broken arm. I immediately felt guilty for causing that.

“I’m gonna kill him when I get out of here. He needs to stay away from you! He is the only reason we’re not back together!”

“No, he’s not, and we both know that! We have years of shit to work out. We have both let each other down. I can’t help that I have feelings for Austin that started while you were gone. I thought you were never coming back. You need to calm down right now. I’m going to leave if my presence is going to make you more upset.”

“No, please don’t leave. I’m sorry. I was just being hopeful. I need you here. Even if it’s only as a friend.”

“We are more than just friends. I will stay with you.”

We sat there for another half hour. I held his hand and we stuck to talking about happy times and good things. When they came to take him to his room, I went along with them. I stayed while they settled him in and got him as comfortable as possible. A nurse came in to check his vitals, and then she put some pain meds in his IV. As he started to get drowsy, I sat down and held his hand.

“Don’t fight sleep, Mason. You need to rest. I’ll be here until you fall asleep.”

“Thank you for being here, Jamie. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Just as those words came out of my mouth, he drifted off to sleep. I sat there and watched the man who had meant everything to me for so long. It broke my heart to see him so broken. I hoped that me being on his mind hadn’t distracted him and caused him to crash. I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before heading out. I gave the nurses my cell number and asked them to call me if he needed anything.

I headed out of the hospital and started my walk home since I didn’t have my car. I only lived about two blocks away from the hospital. The night air was warm, and it was the perfect opportunity to clear my head. The past few hours had been overwhelming and full of countless emotions. When I thought I had lost Mason forever, I had broken down. That made it obvious to me that I wasn’t ready to give up on him.