Dance (30 page)

“If
it isn’t the infamous Fenix Bergman and Jared Hartley,” the guy said as he
approached them. He shook their hands in turn. “So nice to meet you guys.
You’ve thrown all my staff into
fangirl
mode today.”

“Nice
to meet you too, Michael,” Fenix said politely.

“I
can see someone’s done their homework. I never told you my name.”

“Yeah,
Cat’s been raving on and on about you for the last two days. Your name
kinda
stuck.”

“I
see,” Michael laughed, and, throwing his arm over Fenix’s shoulder, led him
further inside the studio, waving at Jared to follow them.

Half
the studio was set up as the main photo area which was mostly white right now,
with lots of equipment around it. On the left were the make-up and wardrobe
areas where a lot of people were walking around, busy with preparing everything
they’d need for the photo shoot.

Michael
introduced them to a girl named Sarah, who took charge of them, leading them to
the make-up chairs to be ‘prepared’. Fenix frowned – he’d done photo shoots
before and knew that the preparation was never pain-free.

After more than
an hour of poking, combing, moisturising, and styling, both Jared and Fenix
were let out of their chairs and pointed in the direction of the rails full of
clothes. Jared stood close to Fenix as Sarah showed them some pre-approved
choices. Fenix’s pulse raced and his mind could not absorb any information other
than the fact the Jared was standing closer to him than necessary, and Fenix
could
feel
the heat of his body.

They
both chose clothes they’d wear themselves – Jared picked a pair of distressed
designer jeans that hung low on his slim waist and a t-shirt that said ‘Happy
Ending’. Fenix opted for skinny jeans and a long V-neck t-shirt with an
abstract, green tiger at the front. The photographer, Richard, instructed them
to act naturally.
Easier said than done.
How were they
supposed to act naturally when they were surrounded by a dozen magazine staff
staring at them?
 
Their surroundings
consisted of white walls, huge lamps, shades and other photographic equipment
that resembled an operating theatre.

They
looked at each other awkwardly, before Jared started laughing. Fenix didn't
know if Jared found the whole situation funny or not, but his laughter was
infectious, and Fenix started laughing too. They could hear people around them
giggling as well, while Richard started snapped pictures with record speed.

That
seemed to relax everyone, and soon Jared and Fenix were posing like the pros
they were, joking with the staff and each other, adding props like hats and
glasses to their attire, and even simulating some of the dance moves they had
to do for their shows. Fenix used Jared as a support dancer and Jared lifted
him up as Fenix jumped in the air, bearing his weight effortlessly, and
lowering him to the floor easily. Everyone clapped while Fenix’s heart
threatened to beat out of his chest under Jared’s touch.

Soon,
Richard announced they had more than enough shots for the feature and, after
putting their own clothes back on, Jared and Fenix were led to another room for
the interview. It was in stark contrast to the previous room – it was much
smaller and quite cosy. There were several sofas and chairs, a coffee table
filled with snacks and hot beverages, and
Lorde
was
playing quietly on the surround system. Michael was already waiting for them,
going through a notebook with what Fenix assumed were notes for the interview.

“Sit
down, guys,” Michael said, gesturing towards a cream leather sofa opposite him.
“I got some sushi and sugar-free snacks delivered – I know you both watch what
you eat. Help yourselves. There’s coffee, green tea, water,” he finished, and
both Jared and Fenix filled a plate with sushi. Fenix was starving, and by the
looks of it, Jared was too.

Michael
kept the small talk going while they ate, politely waiting for them to finish
their food. Then, he offered them cups of coffee, before he took out his phone
and activated the voice recorder.

“So,
Fenix, you’re back in London. How does it feel after two years on Broadway?”
Michael asked, leaning back in his chair.

“It
feels great to be back. I’ve always had a soft spot for London and I couldn't
be happier when I got the chance to play in a West End show. It was my first
big break and it happened right here. Everything happened here. If it wasn’t
for London, I’d never be who I am today. I’ll always think of this city as my home,”
Fenix said, casting a sidelong look at Jared who was thoughtfully studying his
cup of coffee.

“That’s
great to hear. London certainly loves you, too. Your return to the West End
caused quite the turmoil. There were speculations about why you suddenly
decided to come back to Queen Victoria. You just won a Tony and can perform
anywhere you choose.”

“You’re
right,
I can perform anywhere I choose. And I chose
Queen Victoria,” Fenix replied with a wink. He knew Michael would not be
diverted so easily – after all they were here to talk about Jared and Fenix’s
relationship. That was what everyone was interested in and what would fuel the
gossip columns for months.

“Why Queen Victoria, Fenix?”
Michael asked directly.

“I
was nostalgic, I guess.”

“Jared,
are you glad Fenix is back?” Michael asked, changing his tactics.

“Sure.
Fenix is one of the best performers I’ve ever seen. Any theatre would be lucky
to have him,” Jared said, grinning. Fenix laughed out loud, unable to hold it
in anymore. He quite enjoyed the cat and mouse game he played with the
journalists. But maybe they should take pity on Michael. He seemed like a nice
guy. And besides, if Michael complained to Cat about them, after she pulled so many
strings to get them in, Fenix’s balls were a goner.

Michael
sighed and tapped on the phone screen to pause the recorder.

“Guys,
come on. We all know why you’re here. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have
time for games. Cathleen told me you wanted to let everyone know you’re friends
and aren’t holding any grudges. Are we going to cut to the chase or are we just
wasting each other’s time?”

“Yeah,
about that,” Fenix began and Michael groaned. “Things have... evolved,” he said
and raised an eyebrow.

“How?”
Michael asked
impatiently.

“We’re
not going to claim we’re just friends... because we’re not. I moved in with
Jared last night and we’re back together.”

Michael
was taken aback by this statement and leaned back in his chair, frowning.

“Are
you sure about this?” he asked after some consideration.

“That
I moved in with Jared?
Pretty sure.
My toothbrush is
in his bathroom and all.”

“No,”
Michael rolled his eyes. “That you want me to print it?”

“We
just want the speculations to end. If we come out and say the truth, hopefully
the press will lose interest and get off our backs,” Jared said.

“OK.
That’s cool,” Michael said. He reached to start the recorder again, but paused
before his finger touched the screen. “I’m happy for you,” he added sincerely
and pushed the red button again. “What everyone wants to know
is,
how are things between you, guys? You were in a serious
relationship before Fenix moved to New York, and now that he’s back... Are you
back
together?”

“Yes.
We are back together. I came back here for Jared and we’ve worked things out.”

“That’s
good news, congratulations. But, how did you manage that in such a short time?
Fenix, didn’t you only come back a few days ago? Were you guys in touch before
that?”

“No,
we weren’t,” Jared said. “We were hurt and sad and angry, but not with each
other. We both made bad decisions and we had to bear the consequences. In the
end, what we have together is worth fighting for. It’s more than the theatre
would ever be able to give us.”

“Are
you really not mad at Fenix for leaving, Jared?” Michael asked.

“No,”
Jared said honestly.
 
It was obvious he
wasn’t going to elaborate on the details any more. They knew what had gone down
between them, knew it wasn’t anybody’s fault,
knew
it
could have been different if they
both
had tried harder. “I love him,” Jared said and looked at Fenix with such an
open, loving expression that Fenix’s heart melted.

Michael
laughed, satisfied with their answers and sensing he wasn’t going to extract
any more personal information. Changing the subject, he asked Fenix about his
Tony award, his Broadway experience, and if the audience could expect something
new from
Poison
. They
chatted
some more about their musicals, and when the
interview ended, Michael walked them out and told them they were welcome to
come back and be featured in the magazine any time.

Chapter thirty

Jared

“You never told
me what happened that night of the
Tonys
. When you
called me,” Jared asked as he and Fenix lay curled together on their bed after
making love. Jared couldn't stop touching Fenix – he ran his hands all over his
smooth skin as they talked.

Fenix
didn’t answer immediately and, even in the dim light, Jared could see a slight
blush covering his cheekbones. He was biting his lip, not meeting Jared’s eyes.

“Fen?”
Jared said, suddenly
alert
and worried. He tucked a finger under Fenix’s chin and
raised his face to look into his eyes. They were the same haunted blue as when
Jared had seen him make his acceptance speech. “You can tell me anything, love.
I won't judge you or love you any less. I don't want you to feel like you need
to have secrets from me.”

Fenix
nodded and swallowed a few times before speaking.

“After
the speech, when I went backstage, I was holding the Tony, and I’d never felt
more lost. I knew I needed to be fucking ecstatic. I’d done it. I should be
proud and happy. But I wasn’t, and...” he paused to take a few breaths. Jared
didn't push him to continue before he was ready. “I just wanted the pain to
stop. So I went to the bar and ordered shot after shot until I was numb. There
was a group of four guys there, at the bar. One of them came to congratulate
me, so he bought me more drinks. Soon his friends joined him and we all drank
until way past midnight. It felt good.
I
felt good. So when they offered me to go with them, I did.”

A
cold shiver ran down Jared’s spine. He had a suspicion what was coming next but
schooled his face into a blank mask so that Fenix wouldn't be discouraged to
continue.

“I
don’t remember much of what happened after that. I woke up in a luxurious hotel
room, in a huge bed with all four men sleeping around me. I smelled of sex and
alcohol and...
other
people. I barely made it to the
bathroom before I puked my guts out. Fortunately, none of them woke up and I
managed to sneak out undetected. I called you when I got home. I needed to hear
your voice. Needed you to pull me up because I’d hit rock bottom that day,
Jared. I knew I couldn't go on like this or that was what my life would turn
out to be.”

Jared’s
heart was beating frantically. He was so angry. His protective instincts were
going into overdrive. It drove him insane that he couldn't do anything about
it. He wished like hell Fenix hadn't gone through that, he wished for a
thousandth time that they’d never separated, he wished they’d chosen each other
instead of their jobs. Jared pulled Fenix closer when he’d finished talking,
wanting to take away the memories of that night. Thank god he didn't remember
much.

“I’m
so sorry you had to go through this, love,” he said, and then kissed him
deeply. “You should have called me sooner. You should have come back sooner.”

“I
wasn’t sure if you’d still want me.”

Jared
shook his head incredulously, but decided to drop the subject. There was no
point in dwelling on the past. They could never change it. What was important
was that they were together now. That was all that mattered.

Jared didn’t
have a show the next day and Fenix didn’t start his promotional interviews and
appearances until the end of the week. They had the whole day together, so they
decided to take it easy – have breakfast at home, watch some movies, maybe go
out for dinner. The plan had been going well until forty minutes into ‘The
Hangover 3’ when Fenix was already bored out of his mind. Jared could feel him
getting restless next to him.

“I
hate this clock,” Fenix said, glaring at the clock on the opposite wall.

“I
know,” Jared replied without missing a beat.

“How
can you stand the constant ticking? It’s been driving me nuts ever since I
walked in here.”

“I
don't mind it. I don't even hear it anymore, got used to it.”