Denial (26 page)

Me too
. “Does that mean you’re coming in here?”

“I’m very tempted,” he rasps.

Me too
. All the time. “I wouldn’t safeword, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He finally steps into the room, his bright eyes locking with mine as he stands bathed in the blue light streaming in from the window. “I want you so fucking bad.”

Me too.
“Why?”

“I can’t explain it. I just do.”

I swallow and fight back the skittering anxiety as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it onto the floor. He watches me, the cool exterior of his face contorting in desire, his eyes darting from mine to my breasts. “Keep going,” he says. Blushing, I pull back the sheet and slide my panties to my ankles. Isaac snatches them away before they get to my toes. “You are so beautiful.”

So are you
. “Are you taking me back into the playroom?”

He shakes his head no. “I’ve been going easy on you, Rookie.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“I’m not doing you any favors long term.”

“So stop going easy on me.”

“I can’t,” he whispers. “Not in there. I want to try it in here. Get on your knees.”

“No.”

He groans and his eyelids flutter. Did he like that? The possibility that he did only stays on his face for a moment before it hardens again, his eyes growing dimmer. “You’re supposed to say ‘red’ when you actually mean it, Maya. Other Dominants he’ll give you to will take that as an invitation to force you.”

My breathe catches in my throat. I don’t want to get shared anymore, especially with the arrogant, sneering bastards Luke is working for now. Is that really what I’m signing up for? I just wanted to play around. How the hell did I let it get out of hand?

“I can’t do that in here,” I croak, a tear overflowing.

Isaac closes the distance between us and wipes it away, sliding his hand across my jaw until he’s soothing the nape of my neck. “Can you try? It’s just a game. I need to touch you.”

“Isaac…”

A low growl rumbles through his chest. “I won’t be able to fuck you, but that’s not going to last long. It’s now or never.”

“Is this you or part of the program.”

“Me,” he growls in my ear, closing his fist in my hair. “100%.” That animal in his voice is back. I answer it with a throaty moan, my arousal puckering my nipples as my back arches. “Do you think you’re horny now?” he laughs. “You have no idea.” He moves closer to me on the bed, guiding me to lay down by his hold on my hair. “Don’t you want to see what I can do, Rookie?” His fingers circle my clit widely as his tongue barely flicks my nipple. “Or do you like the special treatment?”

“I like you,” I blurt out. He stills, smiling against my breast. “I like doing things we’re not supposed to do.”

“Me too,” he breathes, kissing my sternum.

“So don’t make me kneel. Or close my eyes.” He lets out a long, sad sigh, and rests his head on my chest. “That’s not what you want to do to me anyway, is it?” I purr, running my fingers through his hair.

He catches my wrist in his fist and guides it slowly over my head as he climbs on top of me, straddling my naked hips. He’s still wearing those low slung jeans and my fingers are twitching at the sight of his hipbones. “No, I don’t want to see you on your knees.” Wild eyes look down at me as his face fills with lust. “I want you to lie still while I touch you and watch you blush. I want to see you screaming and begging me to let you come, and I won’t let you even though I want to see you doing that too.”

I groan and he laughs at me arrogantly. “Stupid program.”

“Yeah, it is, but I want to forget about that right now. That’s not why I won’t let you come. Your very presence has been torturing me
all day
. Mine will torture you all night.”

“But I’ve been tortured all day too,” I peep, all the anxiety I’ve been ignoring bubbling to the surface.  My teeth chatter and I have to look away from him, but I’m sure he can still see
my eyes watering. When did I turn into such a blubbering idiot?

“Maya,” he whispers softly, turning my chin. The lust and frustration on his face have been replaced with remorse. He releases my arm and moves to climb off of me, gritting his teeth and cursing under his breath. At least the anger isn’t directed at me. I grab his wrists and buck my hips up, stopping his retreat. “It’s fine. I’m not going to bother you. Get some sleep.”

“I didn’t safeword.”

“I don’t care.”

“Stay with me.”
I might not be here in the morning if you don’t.

“I want to, but I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“Who said you’d have to?” I whisper seductively. “But I want to touch you back.”

“Then you’ll definitely be coming all night.”

“I’ve seen your restraint, Isaac.”

“Well, you’re about to see its limits if you don’t let me go.”

“You could pull away.”

“The thing is, I have absolutely no desire to do that, Maya.”

“Can’t we just make out for a while and go to sleep?”

His breathing increases rapidly. “I’m not allowed to kiss you.”

“We already broke that rule.”

“Yeah, and look what happened.”

“I like what happened.”

He
draws in a hitched breath, his face softening until he’s young again with a smile full of surprise. “Me too.”

I bite my lip, smiling back at him as I rub my thumbs along the tendons on the inside of his wrists and shudder. His forearms are incredible. I slide my fingers along the muscles while he groans until I feel the bones of his elbows.
Stay with me. Play with me. Nobody’s watching us.

Our eyes stay locked together as he laughs nervously. It’s so adorable. I let his wrists go and finally allow my fingers to explore his chest, his collarbone. His legs are still pinning my hips to the bed, his hands on either side of my head. “You’d better put some clothes on,” he rasps. “More than you had on when I came in here.” This pathetic jovial squeaky sound escapes through my wide smile, excitement tingling from the tip of my well kissed nose to my wiggling toes. “Could you please keep the cuteness in check until you’re wearing a shirt? If I get a hold of your nipples right now…”

“Okay, get off of me,” I say, covering my boobs with my hands.

“I’m trying.”

“Isaac…” I whine, instantly realizing that did not help at all. “C’mon. I want you to sleep here tonight. Be good.”

His face grows older, a vein throbbing in his neck, that eerie self-control winding up through his spine, squaring his shoulders, until it twists his mouth into a confident smile. “Of course,” he whispers, but I can feel his calf muscle flexing nervously against my thigh as he hesitates. Leaning down quickly to peck my forehead, he swings his legs over me and flops down into the bed, landing with his head cradled in his arms crossed behind his head. Damn. He moves like a sex superhero. My skin is cold from his absence, but I can’t stop looking at him. “Please, get out of the bed and put your fucking clothes on,” he insists, eyes closed.

Snapping out of it, I leap away until my feet hit the carpet and run over to the dresser. When I look up, he’s smiling, his eyes darting around my naked flesh, meeting mine. My entire body flushes with my cheeks, even my hard nipples. “Real clothes, not pajamas?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he breathes softly, pulling his eyes to mine.

“Bra?”

“Definitely.” He looks so turned on, like this is making it worse. “We’re just making out,” he half asks, half tells me.

“Yes.”

“I’ve only done that once.”

“Really?” I ask. He nods, just a flash of embarrassment in his eyes. He must have skipped that stage. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.”
Well why’d you only do it once
? He wants to tell me something else, so I wait. “She was scared of me afterwards,” he says quietly.

Should I ask? “Why?”

“I went too fast. Didn’t keep my hands over her clothes. I was just trying to make her come. I didn’t hurt her.”

I want to tell him that’s not what I was wondering, but it would
n’t be the whole truth. “Of course you didn’t.” He grins back at me, straightening up, shaking his head back and forth until that insecurity disappears. I get the sense that she must have pretty young, which means he was too.

“You’re still naked and I’m still itching to see you squeal. Clothes. Now.”

“I don’t have much.”

“What you were wearing in the car that first night would do it.”

Oh yeah. I’d forgotten about that. “Why did you want me to wear jeans and t-shirt the first night? You were all dressed up.”

“Not initially. I threw that on when the freak show pulled up. I was wearing these jeans actually. I won’t bother putting the shirt on.”

Yum
. “You didn’t answer my question.” And judging by that cocky smile, you still won’t. “What, is this your thing? Normal?”

“Maybe.” He gets even more excited when I pull my light grey
t-shirt over my head. “I might be developing a fetish for a smart mouthed, secretly kinky, girl next door with crazy hair I wish my hands were in right now.”

“This is really doing it for you,” I tease him. “Is this a fantasy?”

“
You
are a fantasy. Get the fuck over here. Please.”

“But what about the socks and white sneakers?” I taunt him in a dramatic and comical sex kitten voice.

The corner of his mouth lifts, flashing me a surprised version of my favorite cocky smile. “I didn’t know you had a seductress voice.”

I didn’t either
. “And the pony tail? Or would you prefer the messy bun?” I flirt.

He squirms. Thi
s is definitely a fantasy. “Goddammit, Maya. It’s been hours.” Leaping forward, he throws his arms around my waist and pulls me into bed as I squeal.

I’m caught in the covers, struggling to turn around, but Isaac frees me, clamping his mouth down onto mine. Both of his thumbs graze my cheekbones before one hand slides back into my hair, tugging it gently, but I can feel the urge to make to make a fist traveling through the muscles of his arm into his shoulder.

His tongue ravages mine as he drags his fingers harshly along the bare skin of my collarbone.
Don’t think about him right now. I’m all yours.
Luckily my own fingers are tracing the outline of the hundreds of small carved muscles of his chest and stomach. They flex when I touch them as his kiss grows hungrier.

He grips my ass with a laugh, grinding into my hip once before retreating with a choked groan. I felt that. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he murmurs, forcing his mouth to leave mine. “I literally can’t fuck you.”

“That’s how making out works. Just pretend I’m holding out on you right now.”

“Yeah, right,” he laughs, going back in for a kiss.

“I am,” I insist, keeping up the act. “Maybe if you’re a good kisser I’ll let you go all the way sometime, but not tonight.”

“Fuck, Maya,” he groans, pushing into me again.

“Don’t hump me, it’s rude,” I
chastise him playfully, pushing against his chest until he looks at me. “And only mild groping on my ass and boobs.”

“Is that how this works?”

“Yep. Subtly. Teasing. I bet you’ll be pretty good at it. You know it’s not going anywhere, so keep your enthusiasm in check. You’re a professional. You can practice with me.” It will be good for him later. When he gets away from this, starts dating. I can feel the jealousy rising so I push it down to focus on the present. Isaac is staring at me, his hesitation cutting through the excitement. “I’m not a little girl.” Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t think he’s aware he accidentally gave me a clue about how young he was when this started. “I’ll be fine if you go too far. Hell, I’ll be ecstatic if you go too far.”

Our laughs collide and we get lost. He’s not paying attention to his hands and I let them maul me for a little while before I still them with mine, interlocking my fingers into his. He groans, his kiss getting slower, deeper, as we both take rapid, ragged breaths. This is reminding me too much of that first night and tears threaten to squeeze through my closed eyelids. His fingers toy with mine and we come up for a long breath to cool off, but his lips are everywhere on my face, darting around my nose, my eyelids, my forehead, my cheeks as his hands hold onto mine too hard, straining my knuckles. It is so hot in here.

When I let his hands go, they slide up my flanks, skimming the sides of my breasts. It just makes it hotter and he can tell. I’m watching him learn, perfecting the rhythm of his kiss, the pressure of speed of his traveling hands. After a while, my arousal is overwhelming and I can’t stop squirming. I would do anything to feel his hand slide low across my belly and under my waistband again.

They’re barely grazing my breasts, my ass, just a glimpse of what he can do with them. I
let out that animalistic groan, writhing against his hip, catching his cocky laugh in my kiss. We redefine making out for a while. He gets a little sloppy when he’s too excited, but catches on to the dance expertly until my nipples are so hard I’m sure they’re going to drill through my bra so they can feel his fingers. I can’t breathe.