Envisioning Hope (18 page)

Glenn
took my hand and I ran the tips of my fingers over the back of his hand. I
could feel the hard, wrinkled skin that had seen what life was really all about
and I squeezed lightly to let him know that I was with him. "Then, you
heal, darlin'. You do what makes you happy, you do whatever it is that is going
to show you that life is worth living, not sitting in a corner and wishing it
would come to an end. That's just a waste. You find what your life is about.
And, if it includes someone else, you do it! Don't think that just because you
lost someone you love that your heart ain't big enough to allow someone else
in. You let them in there and you let them love you."

The
tears continued to fall as I wrapped my arms around Glenn's shoulders, pulling
him into me and squeezing as hard as I could. I couldn't believe what this man
had given up and had lived without, I would make sure that he'd never have to
be alone again.

"Thank
you, Glenn," I sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry about your
daughter," I continued as I felt his arms squeeze harder. He was still
filled with so much pain, I didn't want to end up like that. I just had to come
to the realization that Charlie wouldn't want me to live that way.

"I'm
gonna go now. I think you and Ollie have some things to talk over."

I
pulled my head back from his shoulder and stood away from him. Glenn's finger
gently swiped my cheek, wiping the tears away as he said his goodbye.

"Remember
what I said, ‘lil girl…no one said that this was gonna be easy, but believe in
yourself and don't ever forget that your family loves you. They are there to
help you. Don't mean that you aren't gonna have curveballs thrown your way, but
stay on your feet and keep your eye on the ball. You'll get through it."

I
couldn't answer him so I just nodded my head vigorously as he patted on my back
one more time before turning and heading out the door.

Chapter 16

I
felt slightly bad about just throwing Glenn into that room with Hope, but I
knew that she had to hear what he had to say. Something was going to make her
realize that she was still alive and that it was alright for her to live again.
I was putting all my chips on Glenn to open her eyes. I opened the door to my
car and got in, grabbing the other set of directions out of the glove
compartment. Hope wasn't going to like what came next, but for her to really
start healing this needed to happen.

And
fast.

All
the way to her parent's house, my thoughts overwhelmed me. Was I making the
right decision by taking it upon myself to bring them to her again after she
had made it known that she wanted nothing to do with them anymore? Would it
help with her healing or would she end up pulling away further? Hell, I didn't
even know if they would talk with me.

I
pulled up to the curb of Hope's childhood home and it was exactly the home I
pictured her growing up in.

White
colonial with black shutters, three windows upstairs and two on the first
floor. Two large pillars held up the balcony that was placed over the front
door. The landscape was beautifully groomed with butterfly gardens placed on
either side of the front walkway. I laughed when I looked over at the detached
garage and saw the basketball goal standing there. My mind immediately went to
picturing Hope growing up playing with her dad, maybe a sibling. We had never
discussed if she had a brother or sister.

I
took a deep breath and reassured myself that this was the right thing to do. I
hurried and left the car before I could change my mind. Walking up the steps, I
had to make myself continue to the door and almost thought twice before I rang
the doorbell.

I
stood there feeling like an idiot, not knowing how to start out the
conversation on why I, a stranger, was there to tell them to follow me over to
the hospital so that they could sit down with their daughter and put an end to
this painful situation.

Through
the windowed door, I could see a woman walking toward me. She was young, maybe
in her early twenties. Her hair was long and the same blonde as Hope's. As she
approached, the similarities were almost identical.

This
was Hope's sister.

As
she unlocked the door, I began thinking about what to say. So, I went with the
first thing that came to mind.

"Can
I help you?" the young lady asked with Hope's smile beaming across her
face.

"Hi,
I'm looking for Mr. or Mrs. Wesley?" I asked as I concentrated on making
the sound come out of my mouth. I was hoping and praying that I didn't look
like an idiot standing here.

"Can
I tell them who's here?"

"My
name is Oliver Sheldon and I would like to speak with them concerning their
daughter Hope."

Just
as fast as she planted that smile on her face, she pulled it back and exchanged
it with a look of apprehension and uneasiness. I needed her to know that she
was alright.

"No…everything
is fine, Hope is fine. Let me start over. Are they available?"

The
woman never said a word, she just stared at me as she pulled back the door,
allowing me to come into her home. I smiled a small grin and walked in. Closing
the door, she finally spoke. "My parents are in the family room. If you‘ll
follow me, I will take you to them."

I
nodded once as she locked the door and followed her through the entryway into
the family room where a large screen television was plastered on the wall.
Opposite of the television an older woman and man sat on the couch.

Their
eyes went to their daughter's and then to me. They did this several times until
their daughter cleared her throat.

"This
man is here for Hope."

Both
of their faces turned white while their backs became rigid. I needed to open my
mouth and speak quickly.

"Wait…everything
is fine. My name is Oliver Sheldon, I work for the state and was hired by the
hospital to help in aiding with Mrs. Saxton's rehabilitation. I have been
working with your daughter for almost a year and she is doing wonderfully."

You
could hear all three let out the air they were holding. Hope's sister walked to
the other side of the room and took a seat on the other couch, placing her head
in her hands as though she was calming herself down. Maybe this wasn't such a
good idea after all.

"Mr.
Sheldon–"

"Ollie,"
I immediately interrupted. Mr. Sheldon sounded like my dad and I wasn't my dad.

"Ollie,
if you've spent any time with my daughter you would know that she doesn't want
us there."

"Sir,
I have spent an enormous amount of time with your daughter…"
I think I'm
in love with her. 
"And have gotten to know her fairly well…"
God,
how I would love to spend every waking hour with her.
"And we've had
many conversations on how much you mean to her and her healing process."
I
wish she needed me as much as she needs you.

I
couldn't believe the thoughts that were going through my head. This was so not
the time for this and besides, I knew that she would never reciprocate that
emotion; she was years away from that type of progress.

Just
for a moment, the thought of how when I put my hand to her cheek she seemed to
lean into it came to my mind and I began thinking maybe it wasn't that far off
as I thought. I then realized her dad was saying something.

"…about
her."

Oh
god, I had missed that whole statement. I could see his lips moving but I wasn't
paying attention to what he was saying. I took in a quick breath and asked him
to repeat his question.

"How
are we so sure that if we go to her and appear ready to help her deal with…with
this, who's to say she will listen? This isn't just about her."

My
face must've said what I was thinking because he quickly started speaking
again.

"My
wife and I have gone through so much because of this. First with our daughter
forbidding us to come see her and then with the death of our grandson and son
in law, it's all just been too much. My wife isn't in the best of health over
it and me…"

He
stopped talking and just shook his head. You could see he was fighting back the
emotion with every shallow breath he took. His wife finished what he was going
to say. "Our daughter, Faith, decided to stay close to home when it came
to finishing up her last year in college and we have appreciated all her help."
Her voice was shaky and yet she said what she had to say with an intensity.

I
now knew where Hope got her force from.

I
looked over at Faith as she wiped her eyes, brushing back the tears before they
fell and caused a chain reaction of feelings this whole family had pushed down
deep.

I
decided that I needed to sit down for a moment, so I walked over to the couch
where Faith was sitting and took a seat. I thought deeply about what to say and
how to say it without causing anymore reaction. Seeing as it was nearly
impossible, I decided to speak from my heart.

"Mr.
and Mrs. Wesley, I'm not going to beat around the bush with you concerning
Hope. She's fought me from day one." I felt the back of my head where I
had physical evidence of how she felt toward me and smiled inside knowing how
far we had both come. "She's in terrible pain for losing what's been taken
from her but she can't push you away anymore. I'm hoping after today she's
going to see that. Don't give up on her. Come back with me today and let's see
if we can start this healing process for all of you."

"We
miss our daughter, Ollie" Mrs. Wesley said through her tears.

Mr.
Wesley wrapped his arm around his wife. She bowed her head into him and quietly
shook as I heard him clear his throat as though he wasn't shedding any tears.

You
couldn't help not to shed tears.

I
took a deep breath as I pushed away my own emotion I felt for the woman I loved
more than my own life. I vowed to myself that today was a new day and it was
going to be the beginning of a new life for Hope Saxton.

"Your
daughter is on her way home, Mrs. Wesley."

*
* *

Looking
through the glass window into the room, I saw that Hope had her arms wrapped
around Glenn. I laid my head on the glass and closed my eyes. He did it, he got
through. How much… I didn't know, but it was a start. I turned away and let
them finish their moment as I went back out to the cafeteria where her parents
and sister were waiting with a cup of coffee.

As
they saw me approach, they jumped up wide-eyed.

"Can
we see her… is she ready?" Mr. Wesley asked enthusiastically as his wife
came beside him and tucked herself in cozily.

"She's
finishing up, but as soon as she's ready, I will let her know you are here."

Suddenly,
their faces became pale and blank and I thought back to what I said. "Uh
uh, that's not gonna work," Faith said as she began pacing around
nervously. "If you tell her we're here before she has a chance to hear us
out, she won't see us," she continued.

"Faith,
I can't just let you pop in there. That's not helping the situation. She needs
to see that her making the decision to see you is a step in the right
direction. She's not going to turn you away, okay?"

Faith
quickly lurched forward and, before I could step away, she was already in her
conversation. "This is not something that we can just fly by the seat of
our pants, Mr. Sheldon. You better have some type of plan in place. I'm not
taking any chances when it comes to my sister."

She
was right.

I
could see where she would be concerned, but this wasn't something you could
have a definitive plan with. This was someone's life we were talking about and
Hope had to deal with everything that had been laid out to her in her own time.
Faith was just going to have to trust me and believe that this was going to
work out.

I
saw Glenn walk in behind Faith, wiping his face with his hand. I quickly needed
to calm her down so that I could go find out the current status of how everyone
was doing. I decided if she was anything like her sister, I was going to have
to speak directly.

Taking
her shoulders in my hands, I looked into her eyes that were the same as Hope's.

"Faith,
you gotta trust me. I'm not here to make matters worse. Whether you believe me
or not, I want what's best for your sister and your family. So, if you don't
mind, that man was just in with your sister and I would really like to go find
out what happened."

All
three of their heads turned toward Glenn quickly and I let go of her shoulders.
"If you all will give me ten minutes, I want to speak with Glenn and then
go speak with Hope. Please, trust me. I may not have a plan put down on paper,
but I know Hope and this is what she needs."

I
didn't wait for them to answer, I just nodded and went directly to Glenn who
was now sitting at another table a few feet away. He had his elbows up on the
table with his head in his hands. He looked mentally exhausted. As I came up
behind him, I patted him on the back, pulling him from his thoughts. I offered
up a small grin as I sat across from him at the table and waited for him to say
the first word.