Even Angels Fall (6 page)

The last thing she wants is another run in with Natalie and from her behaviour over lunch she is obviously gunning for her. Plus it is only one afternoon, what harm can it do? Abbey is clearly trying to convince herself. Trying to come up with whatever reason she can to justify what she is doing when really, there is only one reason she is skipping school… because she wants to. It has been a long time since she did something for herself - and she can’t even remember the last time she’d had ‘fun’.

After a 15 minute walk they reach the outskirts of Hall Park, a large expanse of grass that contains within it a cricket green, a skate park and a children’s play area. Situated on the very edge of the park - with a walkway that leads back out onto the main road - is a modern café with an adjoining arcade. Outdoor tables and chairs are scattered over a large paved area at the front of the building, most of which are taken up by mothers with prams, gossiping over coffee. They receive a few judgmental looks as they sit down. It is after all the middle of the day and they are in school uniform, but it doesn’t seem to bother the others; it is almost as if they are totally oblivious to the reaction, either that or they are immune to it after skipping school so many times before? It makes Abbey uncomfortable though, any minute they could get caught.

Nathan orders drinks with the waitress as Liam leans back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the table. He puts a pair of aviator shades on and rests his hands behind his head.

“I fucking love this weather…” He sighs.

Lucy rolls a cigarette and offers one to Abbey but she politely declines.

“So what’s your story then, how come you moved here?” Lucy flicks her lighter and holds the flame to the end of her roll up before snapping it shut again.

“I came up with my family just over a month ago, well, with my mum and my brother… my sister and her husband already lived in Leeds…”

“Just fancied a change of scenery?”

“Yeah, something like that…” Abbey can sense immediately where the conversation is heading but she isn’t ready to tell anyone the full reason behind the move. She has only just met Lucy, Nathan and Liam, and the last thing she wants to do is scare them off with her depressing history. It would make the conversation awkward, and she certainly doesn’t know them well enough yet.

“My parents separated. My Dad left, he met someone else… so we came here…” It is a half-truth. Abbey’s parents have separated. Losing Ryan was too much for them and their relationship broke down over time as her dad found it too hard to cope with his own grief while trying to support her mum. Abbey can understand that part of their break-up at least. Janet was almost sectioned several months after Ryan died and there was a point when no one expected her to get better. It was a horrible time and her dad was suffering too, although that seemed to get overlooked quite a lot. In the end, the only way he could move on was in the literal sense - with a total brain dead bimbo about half his age. Abbey hated him for abandoning his family at the most horrendous time possible, what he did was selfish beyond belief, but these days she finds herself relating to him a little bit more, maybe even understanding his choice. It was just too painful for him to carry on as they were and he was suffocating, trying to hold everything together. He had to get out.

“My parents split up too, when I was little, so I know how shit it can be…” Lucy makes her personal statement in a very casual way, which gives Abbey the impression that it clearly doesn’t bother her anymore, and she wonders if she will ever be as accepting of her own family situation.

“Yeah… it wasn’t easy…” She agrees.

“Do you still see your Dad?”

“Not really, we speak sometimes… but not so much anymore…” Another sad fact of life that Abbey has simply become accustomed to.

“I don’t see either of my parents these days, they’re a total nightmare. It’s just me and my brother Darren now…” Nathan puts his arm around Lucy and squeezes her shoulder, “… and this one too of course!” She smiles, leaning in for a kiss.

“How long have you guys been together?”

“Just over 3 years…” Nathan answers before Lucy has chance to and he smiles at the ground, looking a little embarrassed, “God knows how she’s put up with me for that long…!”

“I do ask myself that question a lot… I guess I’m just a saint!” Nathan pulls Lucy closer and kisses her forehead.

“Well, I’m glad you do put up with me that’s for sure…”

“Of course we all know I was his first true love…” Liam interrupts, “it took him a while to get over me but Lucy helped!” He grins and Nathan rolls his eyes, throwing the lighter at him from across the table. Liam catches it but nearly falls off his chair in the process.

“You should meet my brother, Abbey…” Lucy adds as an afterthought, “and the rest of our group…”

“Sure…” Abbey feels a flare of excitement. “Do they go to our school?”

“No, they’re all older than us. Next time we’re out, you should come…”

“I’d like that…” Abbey is so grateful to Lucy. She wants to tell her how much her kindness means to her but she isn’t about to come on too strong. ‘Play it cool’ she thinks to herself.

As Abbey leans forward to take a sip of her drink she notices Nathan and Liam - who had been fighting across the table during this exchange - have gone oddly quiet. Abbey glances at Liam and spots the look he is giving Lucy. It only lasts for a moment and Lucy barely acknowledges it, but he was definitely frowning, with his expression almost portraying alarm, though Abbey can’t imagine why? Maybe she will ask Lucy about it later, but for the time being she chooses to ignore it.

At 3pm, Abbey reluctantly leaves the others and heads back home. She knows she could always stay out longer and tell her mum that she had met up with friends after school, but that would no doubt lead to questions being asked and Janet would see right through her. Lying convincingly is a skill Abbey has never possessed.

The following morning she bounds out of bed in a ridiculously good mood feeling nervously excited, wondering whether she will see the three of them again. Maybe they wouldn’t be bothered today? Maybe they were just being kind because they felt sorry for her? Liam might have said something to Lucy? The look he gave her might have been because she invited Abbey out again and he didn’t want that? Abbey shakes her head and snaps herself out of her deep rooted paranoia. It is getting to be a nasty habit, always thinking the worst.

She rushes her breakfast down in three bites and races out of the door, managing to catch the bus with only seconds to spare. When she arrives at school she makes her way down the side of the playing field and straight over towards the cafeteria, and as the crowd parts and the picnic tables come into view, she instantly relaxes, as sat at one of the benches waiting for her are Lucy, Nathan and Liam.

“We were starting to think you’d stood us up?” Liam throws his arm around Abbey as she reaches the table and she laughs to herself quietly, feeling stupid for getting so worked up earlier. She clearly had nothing to worry about. In fact it soon becomes a familiar routine. Every morning and every lunch time the four of them meet at the same bench. They don’t always skip school, but most days they cut out early or ditch the study sessions that are supposed to be mandatory. The way Abbey sees it, she is only missing a few of her proper classes and she is keeping on top of her work… mostly. When the weather is good they head down to the park and relax on the grass in the sun, or they go to the café and play on the arcades. The looks they get from judgemental eyes have stopped bothering Abbey too. What the hell is it to them if she skips school?

As time goes on, Abbey is amazed at how comfortable she feels in her new friends company. It’s as if she has known them for so much longer than she actually has, but then it isn’t difficult to feel at ease around Lucy. She is an open book, totally honest and a little bit crazy in the best way possible. She talks animatedly about almost everything, getting louder and faster the more excited she becomes. She discusses the books and films she loves, her family life and her childhood… and music. The conversation always comes round to music. In between her constant chatter she questions Abbey relentlessly about her life; about her favourite this and favourite that, listening intently as she answers. Abbey responds as truthfully as possible while managing to avoid the one topic she isn’t keen to bring up. Lucy’s attitude is infectious. She lives by her own rules and isn’t afraid to be herself. All she seems to care about is having fun, and Abbey loves that about her… about all three of them.

The more she gets to know Nathan, the more she understands why he and Lucy are together. They are a perfect match. Forever finishing each other’s sentences and laughing at the same things. He was very quiet when they first met but he has definitely come out of his shell. He is a great conversationalist and Abbey can chat with him easily. Despite his relative shyness, Nathan is at his loudest when he and Liam are messing around. They are like a little double act, cracking jokes and play fighting, constantly throwing insults and banter at each other. Abbey can’t remember a time when she had laughed so much or so often… and she feels free. As if all her troubles have been forgotten, pushed to the back of her mind and locked away. She still misses Ryan, just as much as always, but she is starting to feel like she has a life again. She has something positive to focus on, a genuine friendship, with people she likes… and it feels great.

Abbey kicks off her shoes and stretches out on the grass, closing her eyes, contentedly. It is another gorgeous day - not a single cloud in the clear blue sky - and best of all, it is a Saturday. No school to worry about, just an entire afternoon of sunbathing and relaxing in the park. ‘Bliss’.

Lucy sits cross legged at Abbey’s side, mindlessly flicking through the pages of a gossip magazine as her portable radio plays the latest chart music. Nathan and Liam are in the arcade - battling it out on the air hockey table - and every now and then Abbey can hear one of them swear or shout something indecipherable, making her smile. It is clearly getting competitive.

“The usual load of crap…” Lucy sighs as she throws away the magazine. She untangles her sunglasses from her wild, mess of hair and leans her head back to face the sun. “Abbey…?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you miss your old life?” Abbey turns towards Lucy, who is staring at her pensively.

“A little, there are certain things I miss… certain people… but I’m happy enough…”

“It must be strange, having to start all over again…”

“It was… but things have definitely got better lately…”

“Because you met three totally awesome people…?!” Lucy laughs.

Although she is only joking, Abbey can’t help but answer her seriously. It is after all, the truth.

“Yeah actually… that’s pretty much the reason…” She feels as though she wants to elaborate further but the look on Lucy’s face tells her she doesn’t need to. Instead they simply smile at each other in acknowledgement. They have become friends, very good friends; and the feeling is clearly mutual on both sides. It doesn’t need to be discussed.

“You are such a bad loser…” Abbey and Lucy turn at the sound of Liam’s voice and see both him and Nathan striding across the grass towards them.

“You fucking cheated…” Nathan shouts, shoving Liam playfully.

“Bollocks, you’re just shit… It’s not my fault…”

“You were covering the goal thing with your hands!”

“Now, now boys…” Lucy moves so that Nathan can sit in front of her and he leans back in her lap as Liam reaches down and takes a bottle of beer out of his bag, opening it with his teeth.

“If you can’t play together nicely…” Abbey adds, mockingly.

“Tell him, he’s the one that’s sulking…!” Liam exclaims, lighting a cigarette.

“I’m not sulking… I’m just stating the fact that you only won because you cheated!”

“Whatever! I had you beaten from the word go! It was all over before it even started…”

“Oh, I know that feeling…” Lucy smirks mischievously and Liam bursts out laughing, nearly choking on his beer as Nathan half turns towards her, “Just kidding…!” She adds, sweetly.

“You little…” Nathan spins around and pins Lucy to the ground, and she thrashes about, half laughing, half screaming as he tickles her manically.

“Say sorry and I’ll stop…” Nathan grins.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She shrieks.

“Now say ‘My boyfriend’s the best and he’s amazing in bed’…!”

“Don’t make her into a fucking liar mate” Liam laughs.

“I’M SORRY… I didn’t mean it, I was joking… I’m sorry!!!” Lucy can hardly breathe from laughing as Nathan finally lets her go, pulling her upright and onto his lap.

“Am I forgiven?!” She asks, still giggling.

“I suppose so…!” Nathan kisses Lucy gently, tickling her once more as she wriggles in protest. Their laughter subsides and Liam and Nathan’s bickering continues on a quieter level, as the sound of the radio creeps back into the foreground. Abbey instantly recognizes the song that is playing and she feels a sickening jolt of pain at the sound of the lyrics and the quiet strum of the acoustic guitar. ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis.

She couldn’t hear it at first over Lucy’s laughter but she can hear it clearly now and her face drops as she struggles to keep her composure. She always hated how a piece of music can instantly bring up memories that you would rather keep buried. Music can provoke emotion like nothing else and this song effects Abbey in a way she can’t control. Without thinking, she instinctively rocks forward and flicks the radio onto another station, causing all three of them to turn and look at her.

“Abbey are you OK?” She had hoped they wouldn’t notice, but Lucy looks concerned.

“Yeah. Fine…” Is all she can manage.

“You don’t look so good, Abs…” Nathan sits upright and Lucy climbs off his knee, as Liam reaches across and gently puts his hand on Abbey’s shoulder.

“What’s up?” He asks.

There is no hiding the truth anymore. She will have to tell them the reason for her strange behaviour and explain why she has suddenly gone from laughing and joking to looking drip white and stone faced.