Finding Faith (21 page)

I pulled the chord as far as it
would go and punched in Finn’s home number. I prayed as it rang
that he would answer and when he did, I nearly burst out into tears
again.

“
Finn, I need you. Please come and
get me.” The minute the words left my mouth, I began to
cry.

Sixteen

Finn

I couldn’t get to her fast enough.
From the second I heard her crying on the phone and telling me she
needed me, I was out the front door. I broke the speed limit the
entire way to her side of town and left most of the rubber from my
tires on the road. When I pulled up to the gas station and saw her
sitting on the sidewalk in her pretty black dress and her hair all
tangled up, I was angry. I wanted to put my fist through her dad’s
face—pastor or no pastor.

She stood, my headlights blinding
her, and adjusted her dress. She looked like a weeping willow in a
spot of sunlight. I jumped out of my car and went to her. Pulling
her into my arms, I held her close and breathed her in.

“
Are you okay?” I
asked.

“
I am now.”

She looked up at me with a broken
smile. I caught a wayward tear on her cheek with my
thumb.

“
Come on. You’re coming home with
me.”

I held her hand on the ride back to
my house. By the time we got there, she was asleep. Instead of
waking her, I went around to her side of the car, opened the door,
and carried her in my house. She wrapped her arms around my neck
and breathed softly into my ear.

Mom had gone to bingo with some
friends in hopes of hitting the big-ass jackpot and paying some
bills, so the house was empty and quiet.

I carried Faith straight to my room
and laid her on my bed. She turned and sighed into my pillow. Her
hair spread across my pillow and a tiny smile formed on her mouth.
She looked so peaceful. She fit perfectly there, and I silently
wished that she would sleep there every night.

I left her there, turned everything
off in the house, and then went to shower. The bathroom steamed up
as I let the hot water wash away the bad memories of the week that
passed. So many life-changing things happened to me in the last
week—the loss of my brothers and hopefully, the permanence of
Faith.

I turned off the shower, wrapped a
towel around my junk, and then crept into my room to get some
clothes. My room was dark—the only sound was the osculating fan
that I couldn’t sleep without. I pulled open my top drawer and
grabbed a pair of boxers.

Turning around, I was about to drop
my towel and slip on the boxers, but I stopped when I realized
Faith was standing across the room, staring at me. Her eyes burned
me as they moved down from my face, past my neck and chest, and
landed on the part of my towel that was slowly lifting.

I expected her to turn away or
leave the room, but instead, she walked up to me and slid her arms
around my neck. Her fingers moved across the droplets of water that
lingered on my back before she worked them through my wet hair. I
sucked in a breath when she pressed her sweet mouth to my
chest.

I tangled my fingers in the back of
her hair and lifted her face to mine. I kissed her slowly,
memorizing her mouth with my tongue. She pressed into me and dug
her nails into my back as if she couldn’t get enough.

I turned, pressing her up against
the wall. Lifting her dress, I wrapped her legs around my hips. She
didn’t stop me; instead, she began to move her hips like she knew
what she was doing. Our panting breaths filled the room as we
kissed. Dropping my mouth to her neck, I kissed softly, nipping at
her earlobe before sucking it into my mouth.

“
Please Finn,” she said over and
over again.

I knew what she was asking me for,
but it was too soon. Things were too emotionally fucked up right
now, and I didn’t want her searching for consolation in the wrong
places. Her friend had just died and her father had just attacked
her.

Thinking about what she told me in
the car before she fell asleep was making me crazy. He hit her and
from what she’d said, it was for no reason at all. That son of
bitch hit her!

I growled a little before taking
her mouth again. I felt like an animal—wild and ready to rip
someone apart. She tugged at her dress, making it move up past her
hips, before she began to grind against my towel, against my hard
cock. It was then that I knew I had to stop. I was ready to go all
the way, but it was wrong. It was the worst time for her to lose
her virginity. Once she was done grieving for Amanda, she’d hate me
for taking advantage.

I pulled away from her and used my
hand to block my hardness. “Faith, we have to stop.”

I was breathing like I’d just run a
marathon. Every muscle in my body was tight as if I’d been working
them all at the same time.

She shocked me as she followed me,
slid her arms around my neck again, and then started kissing me
again. She tasted so sweet and her body felt so amazing against
mine. I wanted to keep going. I wanted it more than anything, but
again, I pulled away. I had to be the levelheaded one.

She looked up at me with pain in
her eyes. “Please, Finn, just give me this night.
Please.”

That made no sense to me. We had
all the nights of our lives if we wanted them.

“
There’ll be other nights. We have
the rest of our lives, Faith. A lot has happened this week. Let me
hold you and when you’re really ready and only when you’re really
ready—”

She captured my face in her hands
and kissed me again, harder. I kissed her back and then pulled
away. “I’m ready, Finn. I’ve never been more ready. What if this is
the only night we have together?”

I was confused.

“
But it’s not. Don’t even say
that.”

“
I know, but what if it was? What
if someone tried to take me away from you?”

I couldn’t even fathom the
idea.

“
That won’t happen,” I
said.

I clenched my jaws so hard my teeth
ached.

“
But how do you know?” she
asked.

“
Because I’d kill anyone who tried
to take you away… either that or I’d die fighting for you. No one
will ever take you away from me—ever.”

The truth of my words burned in my
chest.

Her eyes filled with tears until
they broke free and rolled down her cheeks. “I love you,
Finn.”

My heart shifted. She meant it. I
could see it in her eyes that she meant it, and I’d never been so
happy to hear those words. I needed them. I wanted to wrap them up
and stick them in a box for safe keeping. They meant everything to
me since I felt exactly the same.

I looked her in the eyes and took a
deep breath. It wasn’t every day I confessed my love to someone. “I
love you, too.”

She smiled up at me before leaning
in close. “Then show me.”

She stepped back and reached for
the hem of her dress. I could hardly believe my eyes when she
pulled it up and over her head. She wore simple white cotton
panties with a matching bra. My eyes dropped from her breasts, down
her stomach, and landed on her thighs. Her body was beautiful. Her
hair was pushed across one shoulder as she shyly peeked up at me
from her dark lashes. She’d never looked more like an
angel.

And just like that, I gave in to
her. Taking her by the hand, I led her to my bed and laid her down.
She held her arms out to me and welcomed me into them when I
climbed on top of her. I took my time kissing her and touching her
in all her secret places. She moaned my name over and over again,
and when I felt her fingers make their way into my towel, I moaned,
too.

She squirmed beneath me, her breath
coming in rampant pants. I removed her bra and panties and blew
softly on different parts of her body, making her arch her body and
shiver. Once my towel was gone from between us, I pressed and
teased her with my body. She shifted her hips and
whined.

“
Please, Finn. I want you.” Her
eyes were wide as she looked into mine.

“
Are you sure?”

I had to make sure before I took
something from her that I could never give back.

Her fingers dug into my back,
pulling me so close to her that I could feel her heartbeat against
my chest.

“
Yes. Please.” The desperation in
her voice matched my own.

Reaching into my night table, I
pulled out a condom. The foil crackled as I ripped it open. She
looked down and watched as I slid the slippery rubber over my
hardness. Swallowing, she looked back up at me and I saw the
nervousness in her expression.

I braced myself above her and
adjusted my hips. I knew it was going to hurt her, so I leaned down
and began to kiss her hard and deep to take her mind off of it.
Once she was into the kissing and wrapping her arms around my neck,
I pulled back and pressed into her in one swift
movement.

She broke the kiss and gasped in
pain. I stopped moving and sat there seeded deep inside of
her.

“
Are you okay?” I
asked.

She felt amazing wrapped around me.
It took everything in me not to let loose and go hard and
fast.

She nodded with big, shocked eyes.
“Yes.”

I wasn’t so sure, and the last
thing I wanted was to hurt her more. “Do you want to
stop?”

“
No. Don’t stop.”

So I didn’t. I waited and kissed
her more, letting her get adjusted to the feel of me. After a
while, natural instinct kicked in and she began rolling her hips
beneath me. It felt amazing. I began moving my hips as
well—withdrawing slowly before moving back in.

It felt different with Faith. Even
with the condom on, I felt as if I could really feel her. She was
warmer and felt better than anything I’d ever felt in my life. I
told her so over and over again as I rocked into her and angled my
body in ways that made her make more noise.

The world around us ceased to exist
as we panted each other’s names—our bodies slid together in a way
I’d never experienced. It was as if I were the virgin. Sex with
Faith was beyond words. I wasn’t only physically connected to her;
I was emotionally connected as well, which made it feel a hundred
times better.

Fingernails dug into my back as she
threw her head back and cried out her release. It was my undoing. I
buried my face into her neck, held her closer, and released my all
for her. I died a little in that moment, and Faith was my
heaven.

Seventeen

Faith

I lay next to Finn and watched him
sleep. The alarm clock beside his bed blinked twelve midnight and
lit the corner of his room red with every blink. His chest moved up
and down with his deep breathing. Every now and again, he’d make a
sweet noise of contentment and I’d smile to myself.

I could hardly believe I was no
longer the innocent girl I once was. I’d sinned in the worst way,
but I’d welcome hell if it meant being with Finn. We were in love
and being with him that way, I could almost forget the drama with
my dad. I had until the sun came up to decide what to do. Either
I’d risk Finn going to jail and stay with him, or I’d give in to my
dad’s commands and walk away from love and everything that I wanted
for myself.