Finding Home (31 page)

We continue our slow dance—our bodies in time with each other—moving together in harmony. Each lyric and note is our own intimate foreplay. Each love song is like a private message sung to us, encouraging us to keep moving forward. I feel his words whisper on my neck and earlobe. “I want you, all of you.”

I hold him tighter. “You have me.”

“I promised you I would take it slow next time. Are you ready for me?”

I can only nod. Words fail me at this moment.

“I want to savor you—take my time and cherish every inch of you.”

And he does. We’re our own love song as our bodies sing into the night.

As she lays here beside me, asleep in my arms, I feel content. A feeling I haven’t experienced in years, one I never thought I would feel again. She has woken me from a nightmare, and I hope like hell I can stay awake. A soft murmur timbers near my chest. I want to laugh, but her sleep is so peaceful, I can’t risk waking her up. Her soft murmurs continue, and I have to admit, they are turning me on.

Her whimpers bring my mind back to the past few hours. After our dance, I scooped her up and carried her back to my bed. Taking it slow proved more challenging than I thought. The way she touched me and explored my body nearly killed me.

I made sure to examine every inch of her. I started with her toes and nibbled on them as I gently massaged her feet. I took my time licking and kissing her all the way up her legs, paying extra attention to her inner thighs. Next stop was her stomach and belly button. I licked and stroked, teasing her with soft tickles from my fingertips. God, she was so fucking responsive. Her moans of pleasure combined with her steadfast grip on my hair almost had me sliding inside her right then and there.

And her breasts. They’re perfect. By the time I reached them she was begging for me to touch her. I couldn’t deny her what she wanted. My fingers reached down and entered her slowly and methodically. While my fingers worked her over, my tongue lavished her nipples. Her breathy screams, arching back, and digging nails told me she was close. The idea of her coming on my hand again so quickly was tempting, but I’m a selfish bastard sometimes, and I wanted to feel her spasms on my cock.

Removing my hand earned me a swat on my ass and a death glare. I assured her I was going all in.
I loved her playful side.
Gradually, and with care, I sank deep inside her. We moved together, finding our own beat, and that’s when it hit me. I have the power to love this girl. But do I have the strength?

So here I am, two hours later, wide awake, pondering that question. And I haven’t a fucking clue. This time, though, I can’t run. I need to face this and what we could be. But God help me, because her little noises keep arousing the beast in me. Fuck it. It’s time to wake her up. I try to tell myself it’s fine to wake her up, and I think I deserve some slack—it’s been a long ass two years.

“Babe. Babe, wake up.”

“Ben? What … what’s wrong?” She rubs the sleep out of her eyes.

“Nothing, babe. Just time to wake up. I’ve got a lot to make up for.”

She leisurely comes out of her slumber, a lazy smile gracing her beautiful mouth. “Well, all right then. Let’s make that time up.”

“Rough or gentle?”

“Hmm … both?”

“God, how did I get so lucky? I’m so happy you answered the phone that day. You’re my lifeline.”

“And don’t forget … I’m your phone-a-friend.”

“I could never forget that. Ever.”

And deep inside my soul, I know I never will.

The week flies by, and I’ve been so busy I’ve hardly seen Sam. We’ve had a few stolen moments together, but not enough to satiate my need for her. I’m packing to leave for work in the city for a few days, and she’s on her way over to say goodbye. I decide to jump into this with both feet and eyes open.

“Knock, knock. Can I come in? You left the door open.”

“Hey babe. I left it open for you.”

“Are you packed up?” She closes the door and approaches me.

“Just about. How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.” I’m like a whiny kid, but it’s true. I reach out to her, and she comes willingly. Her arms envelop my body as we hug each other close. “I wish I had more time, but I have to get going.”

“I know. Practice tonight, right?”

“Yep. Then the game on Saturday. I’m thinking maybe you and Jenny could come watch the game. Maybe even stay the night at my place. What do you think?”

Her eyes come to life as her lips curve into the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen. “I would love that. But just so you know, I still haven’t a clue as to what you’re doing. All I know is that you guys bang the shit out of each other, then jump in a pile and the ball pops out.”

Laughing, I kiss her on the lips. “That sounds about right, but there is some technique involved.”

“Well, maybe someday you can teach me and tackle me?” The devious and playful look proves she may be kind and sweet on the outside, but my girl’s got a naughty side.
Wait, did I just say ‘my girl’? Shit. Keep it cool.

“So, yeah … umm. I wish I could stay, but the ride this time of day is a bitch. But, I’ll see you Saturday?”

“Yep. I’m looking forward to it, especially Saturday night. I’ve missed you.” Her eyebrows go up and down a few times in that cute way that says she wants it. We haven’t been together since after the ball, and I’m about ready to combust. Once sex came back into my life, it’s all I think about and want. Obsessive, really.

“I’ve missed you, too. Our quick little make out sessions aren’t cutting it for me anymore. I need my Sam fix.” She laughs while pulling at my hair.

“I know what you mean. Can I tell you a little secret?”

The way she’s talking right now is low and ethereal. She wants it just as bad as I do. “You can tell me anything, babe.”

“The other night, when we were making out like two horny teenagers, you had me so wound up. Well, later that night, Bob never worked so hard and fast before.”

Fuck me!
I need to get out of here before I miss practice and the coach pulls me from the game.

“Damn, babe, don’t talk like that.” She giggles and wiggles her eyebrows like she enjoys the hell out of that playful tease. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll miss practice.”

Then she goes in for the kill. Her hand cups me, and her gentle ministrations have me pulling her to my bed. “That’s not playing fair. You rubbing my dick with images of you touching yourself are a low blow.” She pushes me onto the bed and stands in between my legs.

“Low blow? I don’t know what you mean. Besides, I happen to know that you can be hard and fast when you want to be.” She takes off her shirt and unhooks her bra.

“Sam! Babe. I only have so much willpower.” Next she takes off her shorts and panties. She stands there in between my legs, feigning innocence.

“I know. I know.” One hand comes up to touch her breast, and she caresses it gently. “Well, if you really have to go, I understand.” I watch as her other hand rubs her clit. I can smell her arousal, and it’s intoxicating. I close my eyes and try to count backward from one hundred in my head. Her moan sets me off as my eyes burst open. “At least I have Bob to keep me company and take away this ache.”

“Oh, fuck that! No more talk of Bob. You’re not going to need him tonight.” Throwing her onto the bed, it’s hard not to notice the look of satisfaction she wears on her face. She just won this round. Score one for Sam. Damn, I’m going to have to drive like mad to get to practice on time. But it’s so worth it.

“What’s got you all smiles? And please don’t tell me it has to do with my brother. Because ew!” I hadn’t even realized Jenny had come into the bottling room. My head is not in the game today. It keeps drifting off to my time with Ben yesterday afternoon. We made quick work of getting right down to it, but he made sure to make me come twice before he left. I only felt a little bad that he was running late. He called me later that night to tell me that he barely made it on time, but it was worth it.

“Hey, Jenny. Sorry. Didn’t hear you, and yes, I am thinking about your brother.” I hand her the order sheets and labels so we can get ready to package them out. “Here are the invoices and packing slips. I’ve organized them by rush orders and promised delivery dates.”

“Wow. Well, look at you go, Little Miss Organized.”

“I don’t know about that. Just trying to stay busy. Working keeps me from missing Ben.” I head over to the desk in search of more labels.

“You and Ben. I love it. I knew you would be a good match. You both deserve to be happy.” She comes over to me and pulls me into a hug. “I have to admit I’m a bit jealous though. I’d like to find someone that could have me daydreaming with a smile on my face.” Jenny’s face falls slightly, and I can see some of the hurt she carries inside. She never talks about it, but I know someone has burned her bad, someone she’s never gotten over.

“Hey, come on now.” I bump her hip with mine. “It’s a good thing we’re going to a rugby game. There will be plenty of hot and sexy men who would love to help you daydream!”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. Are you excited to go?”

“Yes. It will be a lot of fun. Plus, Ben said he would take me to Ghirardelli’s for one of their ice cream sundaes! It’s sweet how he remembers little things that I like.”

“Nice. But seriously though, have you guys talked things out?” Jenny’s keen sense of reading me can really be a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Kind of. After the ball we … well … you know, took it to the next level. The next morning we sat in bed and tried to figure things out.”

Jenny pulls out the bar stool and motions for me to sit. “So, what did you decide?”

My stomach starts to do some mini flip-flops recalling our conversation. The way she’s staring at me tells me to cut the shit and start spilling. “We decided to give it a shot. If either one of us gets freaked out or scared, we agreed to talk about it and not run away” What I don’t tell her is that we both had so much fucked up shit happen to us that we only hope it hasn’t totally screwed us up, ruining any chance at a normal relationship.

The truth of the matter is that I really don’t know what’s going to happen between us. It’s obvious we care for one another and feel a connection. I wonder if it’s enough. Can that sustain us through the many curveballs life throws? The best we can hope for is the strength to try. We both want that. Let’s just hope that our words match up with our actions.