Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (38 page)

A man’s voice coming from her side made Debbie jump. “Lost in your own beautiful world?”

“Not so beautiful,” Debbie replied without much thought.

Phillip didn’t miss a beat. “That your old flame ahead of us?”

He already knew, so she didn’t answer.

His voice was sympathetic. “Maybe we can steer over in this
direction instead.” His hand touched her arm lightly and guided her to an empty table. He seated her looking away from Alvin and Mildred.

Other couples soon filled in the empty places at their table. They were of a younger age group. Across the room Emery took his seat alongside an Amish girl. At least Crystal was out of the picture! Debbie thought. More power to Emery for seeking an Amish
frau
. Now if her heart didn’t stir at the sight of him, she could be more responsive to Phillip’s attentions. The least she could do was try, even though she wouldn’t get too far.

“Thank you,” Debbie whispered to Phillip. “You knew just what to do.”

Phillip nodded. “Weddings can make the heart throb again.”

“Just for the record, I’m supposed to be over him.” Debbie spoke out of the corner of her mouth to avoid detection. “Their wedding date was published last Sunday.”

“Don’t give up hope. Maybe there’s someone else for you.”

“Do you plan to take advantage of the brokenhearted?”

He laughed. “A beautiful girl like you? Who wouldn’t be tempted?”

Debbie’s heart melted a little. He really knew what to say and how to say it.

Minister Kanagy stood and led out in the prayer. As soon as the amen was said, Phillip asked, “What did you think of the wedding today?”

“It was nice, I guess. I wasn’t really paying attention. My mind was elsewhere.”

“Is Ida settled in with my brother?” His smile was bright.

Debbie was about to answer just as the first dish of food came around the table. She took a portion, passed the dish on, and said, “Ida’s taken to the children quite well… and to your brother.” Debbie took a deep breath. Should she say what she really felt? Now was
her chance. “Your brother has always seemed to me to be, well, a bit harsh. But Ida says he’s really very kind… tenderhearted.”

He didn’t flinch. “She’s his
frau
now. I’d expect Ben to say nice things to Ida.”

Debbie ventured further. “From what I gather…and I could be wrong… his feelings for family don’t carry over to you quite as much.” She kept her gaze on his face. His smile was gone now. Had she struck a nerve?

“Let’s say we have our differences.” He took a bite of food and didn’t look at her. “Did you figure that out yourself or has Ben been telling tales?”

Debbie hesitated before she plunged forward. “He’s told me no tales. In fact, he’s the one who persuaded me to accept you as a replacement the evening of his wedding.”

“Ben approves of…” his eyes were wide, “…of you and me?”

Debbie finished her bite of food. “I suppose so. Did you think otherwise?”

For the first time he stumbled for words. “I, well, I thought Ida was behind it. She’s on the kinder side, you know.”

“Yes, I know. But not this time. It was your brother.”

“Ben shouldn’t have done that.”

They ate in silence, uncomfortable with each other for the first time.

“Confound that Ben!” Phillip finally said. “He messes in everything I do.”

“What is there between the two of you?”

“I’d better not say. One doesn’t go spilling family secrets.”

“Fair enough.” She decided to change the subject. “What do you do in Lancaster?”

He grinned. “I run a siding crew for a large company. Nothing illegal.”

“No interest in farming then?” The words slipped out.

He snorted and passed her another plate of food. “That’s one irritation between Ben and me. He can’t imagine a Kanagy who isn’t a farmer. I was the youngest boy—the one who wouldn’t follow the family tradition.”

“That doesn’t sound serious enough to split a family.” Debbie motioned toward the center table where Lily was laughing with her new husband. “Why didn’t your sister ask you to be her witness today?”

His face darkened. “Tread softly, my dear.”

Debbie glanced away from his gaze.

He touched her hand under the table. “I’m perfectly safe, Debbie. Even with your charming face, your beauty, your… well, everything about you.”

She tried to breathe. If Ben’s words to Ida were anything like this, no wonder Ida’s heart had melted like butter. The Kanagy men sure had a way with words.

Debbie sighed. “Maybe we’d better just enjoy our food.”

Phillip smiled. “Enhanced, of course, by the presence of a gracious lady.”

Debbie cringed as her gaze settled on Emery seated beside the Amish girl she didn’t know.

Phillip’s hand found hers under the table once more. “I must have said something wrong, so let’s try this again.” He paused for a moment with his fingers wrapped around hers. “I’m Phillip Kanagy. I left the family farm some years ago to work in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It was after a tiff with my family, I admit, but now I’m happy as a bug in my own little rental outside the small town of Whitehorse. I’m living amongst the rolling hills of Lancaster County Amish country.”

“That’s good, but it still doesn’t work for me” Debbie couldn’t help herself. The sight of Emery with his head bent toward the Amish girl pushed her over the edge.

His fingers tightened on hers. “Now why would a beautiful girl say such a thing?”

She pulled her hand out of his. “Because you and I don’t work.”

“Fair enough,” he sighed. “You’re an honest, wholesome soul. That’s important to me.”

Debbie waited as the dessert bowl came around. She kept her gaze away from Emery. Phillip took his time dipping out a small portion before he held the bowl for her.

“No hard feelings then?” He regarded her with interest.

She shrugged. “No, no hard feelings.”

He took a bite of date pudding.

Debbie went on. “I’ve had some practice in the art of trying to draw wandering Amish prodigals back to the faith. I lost someone I consider a sister—Lois Beiler—and I was worried about losing someone I consider a brother. An old boyfriend wandered into the world for a time too. And now there’s you. Perhaps that’s all I’m good for in the community.”

As the meal concluded and the singing began, Debbie was relieved at the opportunity to focus on something else. She wasn’t surprised that Phillip didn’t reach for her hand again, although he was nice enough and she enjoyed his presence. Clearly the wind had gone out of the sails of any possible romance. She knew he wouldn’t ask her for a date on Sunday night. When the last song was sung, he’d walk out the door to return to Lancaster. She would not hear from him again, but her heart simply couldn’t open up under the circumstances.

As they parted when the singing ended, he leaned over and whispered, “The best to you, beautiful one. I wish it could have been different.”

She didn’t have a response, so she didn’t say anything.

Across the room Emery and the Amish girl shared a hearty laugh.

Thirty-Nine

I
da rose before dawn on Thanksgiving morning. Ben was still asleep and the alarm wasn’t set to go off for another ten minutes. She lit the kerosene lamp on the dresser and changed into a work dress. She was ready to slip out of the bedroom when Ben stirred.

“
Gut
morning,” he called sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Time to get up.” Ida shut off the alarm. She stepped over to the bed to kiss Ben on the forehead.

He groaned. “Can’t we sleep in on Thanksgiving morning?”

“It’s up to you,” she said on the way out. “I’ll have breakfast ready soon.”

She knew he’d be up and dressed soon now that he’d awakened. Ben didn’t need an alarm clock, and neither did she. They were creatures of habit, and already their household routine was well-written in their minds and hearts. Ida smiled to herself. She’d never imagined that life could hold so much happiness. The work was intense, of course, but she’d never minded work. And the children made the love in her heart bloom. Ben was all a husband should be—tender with her heart and firm with the children. All these
gut
things
were so much more than anything she’d expected even in her wildest dreams.

Ida wiped away a tear as she entered the kitchen. Perhaps this was one of the blessings that came because she hadn’t had dreams about Ben. She’d had dreams about Paul Wagler, and look how that had worked out. This was much better than anything she’d imagined with Paul. Leave it to
Da Hah
to know what’s best.

Ida heard footsteps approach and a smile softened her face. Ben was up, and his voice soon hollered up the stairs, “Time to get up, children!” Moments later he was in the kitchen where he paused to give her a playful kiss.

“I’m busy,” she protested, but she allowed herself to be gathered in his arms for a quick hug. Ben’s beard brushed her face. Ida hoped her face wouldn’t still be red when Wilma came down. She was a young bride, and her love for Ben was nothing she needed to feel ashamed of. Still…

Ida bustled about the kitchen, and moments later Willard was the first child down the stairs.

“
Gut
morning,” Ida greeted with a warm smile.

“What’s for breakfast?” he asked.

Ida gave him a quick hug. He didn’t usually stop to chat, so she wanted to grab this moment. She smiled down at him. “Not much. Just cereal. We’ll have a big noon meal over at
Mamm
and
Daett
’s place later.”

“At your
mamm
and
daett
’s place?”

She ruffled his hair. “
Yah
, mine.”

Out of the blue, he blurted, “Why did my
mamm
and
daett
have to die?”

The question took Ida’s breath away. She’d expected it, but not now. Not on Thanksgiving morning right when breakfast needed her attention. And the other children would soon be down. In fact, footsteps were already sounding on the stairs. A moment later Wilma and John appeared in the doorway. She greeted them, and
John went out into the washroom where he banged around as he pulled on his winter clothing. Wilma appeared perplexed as to why Willard was still standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Ida took Willard’s hand. “We’ll be a moment, Wilma. Will you please put the water on to boil for the oatmeal? We’re just having cereal this morning. And then I’m going out to help chore.”

Wilma headed toward the cupboards while Ida took Willard by the hand and led him into the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, she answered him. “I don’t know why your
mamm
and
daett
were taken. Sometimes we have to just trust in
Da Hah
’s wisdom when our own wisdom and knowledge fail us. I’m glad you trusted me enough to ask.”

She stroked his forehead while Willard seemed to be processing the information. At least the boy was talking to her. She’d waited so long for this moment.

“Why is
Da Hah
so mean?”

Ida pulled Willard tightly against her. “He isn’t mean. What He does is always for our best because it’s for His best. And He never leaves us or forsakes us—if we don’t forsake Him.”

“Did Barbara have to die so you could be our
mamm
?”

Ida was surprised.
What a horrible thought
, she wanted to say. But that wouldn’t help. Clearly, Willard had been thinking long and hard in his silence.

“
Da Hah
is good,” she responded. “He doesn’t do wrong things and then try to make them right. Barbara was diagnosed with cancer around the same time as your
daett
passed on. God must have wanted and needed both over there. It just took Barbara longer to leave.”

“Did Barbara look like
Daett
did when I found him?”

Ida pressed back the tears. Of all
Da Hah
’s ways, this one she’d struggled with the most. Why had Willard been the one to find his father? She choked back the sobs. “I wish you hadn’t found your
daett
that way, Willard. That must have been extremely hard to see.”