First Light (3 page)

I stared out the window without answering, but I could feel her glaring at me. Eventually I nodded my head to show I agreed. For the moment anyway.

4 – Who Are You?

Monday morning,
the weather had returned to its standard December grey and the wind was blowing up a gale. I dug out my wool-lined boots from the back of my cupboard before I left the house and jogged the five-minutes to the bus stop to help me keep warm.

I’d been putting off going back to school for weeks. They’d given me a pass because of Dad, letting me complete most of my assignments from home, but there were only so many re-sits I could do before they were going to force me to repeat the year. I wasn’t sure I could handle that. Everyone would be going to uni and I would be left behind. The thought made me slightly queasy.

As soon as I walked through the gates, the curious stares and whispers began. Expressions filled with pity from literally every person I passed – including the faculty – were enough to make me cringe.

‘Oh my goodness. Ron? What are you doing here?’ Mae’s brown eyes widened as I walked into class. I managed a small smile, though I didn’t feel it. Especially when I glanced around to see the seating had changed while I’d been away. Mae now sat with Cheryl Matthews and Toni Gillings, two of the most popular girls in school. I hadn’t expected that. They had barely said two words to Mae or myself in the six years we’d been at Clanots County High. But for the moment, Mae’s new friends were the least of my concerns. From the looks of it the seating hadn’t just changed, I now had no seat at all.

‘Here,’ Greg said breathlessly as if he’d been caught sleeping on the job. ‘Sit here.’ He pulled up his own chair and shoved it on the end of Mae’s desk. Greg was our form tutor. Up until a year ago we had called him Mr Northmoore, but apparently when you enrolled for A-Levels you were at school through choice, so you had the privilege of using the teacher’s first name. I still hadn’t got used to it.

Not wanting to attract any more attention, I plonked myself down, letting my rucksack fall to the floor. Greg hesitantly began taking the register from his standing position back at his desk and eventually the other kids’ focus fell away from me. I knew most of them meant well; they couldn’t understand why I was back so soon after Dad’s funeral. I wanted to announce that it was so I could try to get back to normality and their staring at me like I was an alien with two heads wasn’t helping the cause. Instead, I focused on my timetable and pretended I couldn’t sense their curious glances. Mae squeezed my leg under the table. The touch of her hand made me relax some.
Things would get back to normal soon,
I told myself.

The day passed much the same way and by the end of my classes, people’s interest in me had waned a little. I figured they were waiting for some sort of mental breakdown. I must have been a disappointment.

I found Mae in the common room before I left. She was with Cheryl.

‘…
Christmas break is in like, a week. She should have just waited. Come back in the New Year…’ Cheryl trailed off as I approached. Her high cheekbones flushed pink but she wasn’t one to dwell too much on awkward moments. She looked at me fleetingly before planting a kiss on Mae’s cheek and leaving the room. I stared after her. Petite and pretty with a tiny nose that turned up slightly at the end, she was captain of the girls’ netball team and co-founder of the first-ever cheerleading squad at Clanots County High. Mae hated sports and cheerleading wasn’t something I had her pegged for either. Cheryl was possibly the last person I expected her to have taken up with. Mae had lots of friends, usually the studious book types – types like me, but I hadn’t seen Mae talk to any of our usual social group all day.

‘Something I said?’ I asked.

‘Sorry about that, Ron, she’s just worried about you.’

‘Yeah, I bet.’

‘I’m
worried about you. She’s right, you didn’t need to do this.’

I sighed and lifted my shoulders. ‘What else was I gonna do?’

‘You wanna come over tonight?’ she offered, looping her arm through mine as we headed out of the building into the cold winter air.

‘Thanks, but I have homework.’

Mae didn’t respond, but I could tell she was a little relieved. It wasn’t that I wanted to be alone, I just hadn’t figured out how to be around people yet. And no matter how much they tried to pretend otherwise, I could see in everyone’s eyes they didn’t know how to be around me either. I just hoped time would fix the rift in my life and I wouldn’t be forced into being a complete social recluse for ever.

The following morning I had two free periods, so I headed back to Tom’s Diner before class. Not wanting the wallet incident to have a negative impact on one of the very few places in Clanots I liked, I pushed aside any humiliation I felt and strode in. To my surprise Lynn was especially nice to me. As soon as I ordered she almost fell over herself to apologise.

‘Ronnie, I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you. Even so, I shouldn’t have said anything out of turn after you were honest enough to come over.’

I couldn’t work out what had prompted her change of heart, there was no way Rachel would have said something and not come home to gloat about it, but as the thought crossed my mind, Gail walked past and shot Lynn a disapproving look. It seemed I didn’t have to tell on her after all; word really did travel fast in small towns. I paid up front and went to my usual table in the window experiencing a glimmer of satisfaction that made me feel guilty just as quickly.

I stared through the window and picked halfheartedly at my cherry pie. In the end, I was just playing with my food, pushing pieces of pastry around the plate. I was getting up to head over to school, when two figures dressed in dark clothing emerged from a side street across the road.

My stomach flipped. I leaned forward so my nose was almost pressing against the window and watched the pair pass the shop, turning down onto the high street.

‘Gorgeous, aren’t they?’ came a voice from behind me.

I jumped, turning to see Gail wiping the table next to mine, her curly black hair falling in her face. Her voice was deep and gravelly, as if she had a permanent sore throat. ‘I find it so bizarre how they never talk to anyone, though. You know, I heard they don’t have any parents–’ Her face fell and her eyes grew wide. ‘Oh, Ronnie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that.’

‘That’s okay, Gail,’ I said hurriedly before she could explain further. ‘I understand what you mean.’ I wasn’t sure where my sudden surge of confidence came from, but I wanted to get outside before they disappeared from sight, so with a quick goodbye I swiped up my coat and rushed out. I had to skip my steps to catch up without running, but after a small desperate scuttle I managed to overtake them and turned to face the one I’d been looking for.

He was at least six-foot, so I had to look up and the moment our eyes met, my mind began to cloud. He wore a sweater that clung to him like a second skin and my eyes were drawn to his lean frame; strong without being bulky. His friend, similar in build, but with longer hair pulled back into a ponytail, stared vacantly at the ground, tucking a strand of his sandy-coloured hair behind one ear.

I reminded myself to breathe as the boy looked at me blankly, pretending not to know me.

‘Can I help you?’ he asked, with a smooth impassive voice.

‘Yes,’ I answered, much less calmly, ‘I saw you at my dad’s funeral.’

For a moment he just stared. I wondered if maybe he hadn’t heard me, but then he turned to the longhaired boy and with a curt nod, told him to leave. His friend walked away without question or even a glance in my direction. Before I could consider that for too long he looked at me and frowned.

‘Okay,’ he said, taking my hand and walking purposefully in the direction of the seafront, ‘let’s talk by the sea. You can yell at me then without prying eyes. Or ears.’

I was shocked at the contact, but I found myself trotting after him anyway. ‘Why would I want to yell at you?’ I demanded.

‘You tell me, Red. I have radar for irate women. I can see you’re irate.’

‘Don’t call me Red,’ I said self-consciously. I wasn’t a massive fan of my red hair and I definitely didn’t want to be referred to by it. A slow smirk formed on his face and I snatched my hand away.

When we reached the beach – which was cold, empty and grayer than usual – I took some initiative and stopped, sitting myself on the lowest point of the sea wall. He stopped too, looking around us both as if to check for onlookers. Satisfied, he perched next to me and stared out at the sea.

I studied him. I couldn’t tell his hair colour because a black woolen hat covered it, but he had an intense frown, made more prominent by dark eyebrows and I couldn’t help noticing a pale scar below his right eye. It held my attention, but didn’t detract from his looks. Irritatingly, I had to admit Gail was right: he was totally gorgeous.

‘I saw you at my father’s funeral,’ I said eventually.

‘Did you?’

‘Yes, you saw me too, you were staring at me.’

‘Oh.’

‘What do you mean,
oh
?’

He didn’t respond. I fiddled nervously with the top button of my coat as the silence lingered. ‘What’s your name?’ I asked when I couldn’t take it any longer.

‘
Kalen.’

Kalen.
I repeated the name in my head. ‘Do you have a last name?’

‘Smith.’

‘I’m Veronica. Ronnie actually... Ronnie Rose.’

‘How old are you?’ he asked as if I hadn’t spoken.

‘How old are
you
?’ I retorted.

He resumed his silence. His indifference was irritating – I wanted to shove him off the wall.

‘Seventeen,’ I grumbled. ‘I’ll be eighteen in February.’

‘You live alone?’

‘
No,’ I said, a little too quickly. ‘My older sister lives with me and her boyfriend’s there quite a bit too.’ The lie rolled off my tongue. Something about him screamed danger, I wasn’t sure I should trust him.

He nodded. ‘Does she take care of you, then?’

‘Ha! Hardly. She has a little girl, she barely takes care of her.’

‘Who does?’

‘Who takes care of her daughter?’

‘No, who takes care of you?’

I was about to tell him I could look after myself, since that’s what I’d done for as long as I could remember, but I stopped short, realising he had so easily led me into such a personal confession. Instead, I left the conversation with a shrug. ‘You’ve avoided my question.’

‘Yeah, I guess I have.’

‘But you did know my dad?’

Another extended silence passed. I dug into my pocket for the twenty pounds I owed him, when he looked over his shoulder expectantly towards the road behind us.

‘I have to go,’ he said, as though he’d heard something I hadn’t. His eyes met mine for the first time and I was instantly taken aback. They were the most intense dark blue, like the ocean at night, and while they showed no particular emotion, something in his stare caused a stir in the pit of my stomach.

‘Thanks for what you did the other day!’ I blurted. Aware I was gawking like an idiot. ‘Here’s the money I owe you.’ I shoved the note towards him.

‘I don’t want your money, Red. Keep it.’ With a wink, he leaped over the wall, turning back to me and arching one eyebrow suggestively. ‘Tomorrow morning?’

‘O-Okay.’ I answered hesitantly.

He jogged down the bank towards the road and I was left wondering what had gotten in to me. He hadn’t told me a thing, yet I’d agreed to meet him again, no questions asked. I was considering running after him to tell him I’d changed my mind, when a huge black motorcycle roared by. It slowed as it passed him. Fluidly, he swung onto the back and it tore off into the distance.

I stared after the bike, trying to figure out what had just happened. All the while, ignoring the voice in the back of my head, screaming at me to stay away from him.

5 – Descent