Hawke's Salvation (3 page)

The taste of guilt didn’t set well, and he quickly banished that thought. Jeanette was special. She deserved more than a roughshod cowboy who was settling
for
someone instead of
the
one. Maybe she knew more than he did and that’s why she was always pushing him away.

If it weren’t for this deep seated need in his gut, he’d probably walk away from her and look for love elsewhere, but somehow he knew Jeanette was the one he was supposed to build a life with.

Confused, and unsettled, he headed for the shower, a new plan of attack forming in his mind. If Jeanette wasn’t ready, he couldn’t force her into it, but he wasn’t giving up on her. The desire inside him burned too hot to pretend he could ignore it. No, one way or another he had to get her into his bed. Then he’d know if they were meant to be.

R
omeo was sitting
on the sofa in the family room playing a video game when his quiet was suddenly invaded by a gaggle of girls chattering and carrying plastic bags full of stuff that resembled holiday decorations.

“Uh, excuse me? What are you ladies up to?” he asked, frowning at his screen as attackers attempted to maim his character.

“We’re turning the family room into Christmas central,” Lauren responded, dragging in a large folding table and setting it up. “We don’t want to spread the decorations out in the living room because we don’t know how big the tree is going to be yet, so we’re setting up in here.”

“Wait...” Romeo clicked the pause button on his controller and set it aside, turning his attention on his sister. “What do you mean tree? What tree?”

“The one Hawke is going out to get today.” Franki put her bags on the table and then leaned over the back of the couch to drop a kiss on his parted lips. For just a moment, his brain quit working as the flavor that was Franki spilled onto his tongue. It was like a drug, and he never seemed to get enough. Before she could pull away, he tangled his fingers in her long, dark hair and planted a second, much deeper kiss on her mouth. When he finally released her, her blue eyes were dark with desire, and her cheeks were flushed pink. “Hello to you too, cowboy.”

“Who said we were putting a Christmas tree up this year?” Romeo demanded as Franki spun away from him and went back to sorting decorations.

Lauren lifted a nutcracker in the air and waved it at him. “I did. Well, technically we all did. You guys might have gotten a year off last Christmas, but this year you have girlfriends and kids in the house. Christmas is a must.”

“No it’s not. And be careful with that! That was Sera’s!” Romeo growled, jumping to his feet and snagging the precious piece from her hands. He cradled it in his hands, staring down into the awkwardly painted face of the wooden doll. He didn’t have a particular fondness for nutcrackers, but he’d watched Sera lovingly place the item on the fireplace mantel for enough years that it had become important to him. “Most of this was Sera’s. It’s supposed to be in storage.”

“I know it was Sera’s, Roman. But
was
is the important word here. Sera’s gone, and so is Abe, but Christmas is still coming. We can’t stop celebrating because they died.” Lauren explained, gently retrieving the nutcracker and placing it delicately on the table.

“I don’t see what difference it makes this year. Todd and Michael are too young to remember anything we do.”

Franki stepped around the couch and wrapped her arms around his middle, pressing her cheek against his chest. “It’s my first Christmas without Vivi and my mom. I need new memories or the old ones might kill me.”

Just like that, Romeo’s brain seemed to switch tracks and the whole thing became about giving Franki whatever she needed to help her heal. She’d been through so much this year; he couldn’t take this away from her too.

Kissing the top of her head, he stroked her hair. “Okay, baby. What do you need me to do?”

She lifted her face for another kiss and then grinned at him, “Could you help bring the box with the garland in? It’s pretty heavy, and I don’t want Lacy trying to get it.”

Lifting his head, Romeo was surprised to realize the other ladies had left the room. He had his woman alone for a moment.

“What am I going to get in return?” he asked playfully, grabbing a handful of her perfectly round ass.

She pretended to think it over and winked. “I suppose I could give you a ride on Hal…”

“Ha! I won’t be the one riding tonight, baby.” His voice became low and husky. “Better get your cute butt in gear. The longer you have me doing decorations today, the more time I have to plan all the wicked things I want to do to you when I get you in my bed.”

“Promises, promises,” she teased, leading the way out the door.

H
awke stood
outside Jeanette’s cabin for a good five minutes before he decided to just man up and knock. He’d been debating whether or not he was a fool to keep going back to a woman who insisted she didn’t want him, but something inside of him just wouldn’t let him give up. In spite of her haughty air and overstuffed persona, he was drawn to her, and he wanted her to give him a fair chance.

He prepared himself for a lecture or any icy response, but he didn’t prepare himself for Jeanette in a fluffy pink bathrobe, hair wet and feet bare. She smelled of flowers, and her flushed cheeks and bright eyes set his body on edge.

“Oh, Hawke, I thought you were Lauren.” She cocked her hip and frowned at him. “What are you doing here?”

It took him a moment to formulate words as his eyes travelled down the open V-neck of her robe into the slight valley of cleavage there before she closed it from his view. It would only take a quick tug of that belt to expose her gorgeous curves, and he wanted to do it so badly his palms itched.

“It’s mid-morning, why aren’t you dressed?” He almost cringed at his own words. He hadn’t meant to say that, or to come across so harshly.

Jeanette’s pretty, chocolate brown eyes narrowed, and the corner of her mouth tipped up. “I didn’t realize there was a curfew or a dress code on the ranch. I’ll have to ask Lacy to get me a written copy of those rules.”

“There isn’t but”—he paused and shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly—“I’m here to ask for your help.”

Her eyebrow rose in question, but that was her only acknowledgement.

“Lauren and Franki want a Christmas tree for the main house, and they asked me to get them one. I thought maybe you could come along to help.” He turned and gestured to the pair of saddled horses standing about ten feet away from the cabin door.

Jeanette’s jaw dropped, and she stared at the horses in surprise. “A Christmas tree? Like a live tree from out in a field somewhere?”

“Not just anywhere,” he confirmed with a laugh. “We’ll get it from our own property. Once we find the right one, I’ll cut it down, tie it up, and we’ll bring it back.”

“But it snowed. Won’t the tree get…messy?”

“Probably, but then, it’s a tree, so technically, it’s already messy, right?” Feeling more in control of himself, his confidence increased again, and he gave her a flirty smile. “So what do you say? Want to go Christmas tree hunting?”

“I-I um, well…” His heart lurched in his chest as she hesitated, looking behind her into the cabin as if looking for an answer. “I told Lauren I had some extra batteries, she’s supposed to be down here shortly to get them. If you don’t mind waiting for her while I change…”

“Done. Now move it, darlin’, we’re burning daylight.”

Once again, Hawke found himself standing in Jeanette’s small cabin while she dressed in the bedroom. He noted that she didn’t lock the bedroom door this time, and he let himself believe it was a good sign—not that she might have forgotten. Just as he was shutting the door, he saw Lauren coming down the shoveled path from the main house. She was bundled up in a blue parka and knee-high, fur-trimmed snow boots.

“Hey Hawke, what are you doing here?” she gave him a funny look, her eyes darting past him into the interior of the cabin. “Where’s Jeanette?”

“Getting dressed. She said you were stopping by.” He held the door open for her. “What do you need so many batteries for?”

She picked up the plastic package of batteries and smiled at it with such pleasure one might think it was a gold bar. “These are perfect. I found some singing animals—you know, reindeer, snowmen, and polar bears, that kind of thing. I didn’t think to get batteries for them while I was in town, and we didn’t have enough in the house. Thankfully, Jeanette had some.”

He nodded his understanding just as Jeanette reopened her bedroom door. She was dressed in a pair of brown coveralls, and she held a fat pair of winter socks in her hand that looked oddly familiar.

“Hey, are those my socks?” He pointed at her hand, and she shook her head.

“I don’t know. Lacy gave them to me. She said I would need them and these coveralls once the snow started falling because it won’t stop until around April.” She took a seat on the sofa and began to pull them on. “Hey Lauren, was that what you needed?”

“Yep they’re perfect, thanks.” Lauren’s gaze bounced back and forth between the pair of them, and when the silence grew thick, she cleared her throat. “So, um, is this a thing? You two, I mean?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Hawke pinned Jeanette in place with a pointed gaze, daring her to deny him again as he repeated his answer. “Yes, it is a thing. Or it will be.” Turning his gaze back on his sister, he gave her a hard look too. “But that doesn’t mean it needs to be public knowledge.”

Lauren made a hand motion like she was zipping her lips together and locking them with an invisible key. “My lips are sealed. Strangely, ever since I found Vinnie again, all I can think about is helping others have the same joy and love in their lives.”

“What Hawke means is he’s asked me to go with him to get a Christmas tree. It’s a one-time thing, and it’s not a date,” Jeanette replied firmly, standing after pulling her boots on.

“Yes, it is,” Hawke argued.

“No,” she snapped, “it’s not. It’s doing a favor for a friend.”

Hawke took a step in her direction, stalking her like prey. “Maybe I didn’t make myself clear when I asked you along. Doctor Jeanette Hall, would you do me the honor of accompanying me out into the fields in search of the perfect Christmas tree, which we will then take back to the house and assist in decorating—together?”

Jeanette looked like she was trying to decide whether or not to fight or run for her life, and behind him, Hawke heard Lauren cough.

“Okay, well, on that note, me and my batteries are going back to the house. I’ll see you two later for the tree decorating party. Thanks again!”

The door shut loudly, and Hawke took another step towards Jeanette. She backed up, and he saw her swallow hard.

“Look, Hawke, I know I said I would go, but I didn’t realize there were strings attached—”

“Oh there are strings all right,” he agreed. “I told you darlin’, you might be fighting your body’s desires, but I have no interest in playing the monk. I plan on using every possible opportunity to seduce you over to my way of thinking.”

“We’re complete opposites,” she protested.

“Are you sure about that? What do you know about me? What’s my favorite color?” He laughed when she flushed. “Okay, what’s my middle name?”

“I don’t know, but that’s because I don’t need to know. It’s not my business. I’m not here to date. I’m here to work—to help people.”

“How can you help other people deal with their issues if you won’t face your own?”

“
E
xcuse me
?” Jeanette’s temper was piqued, and she felt her body fire up with fury at his assumption. “What issues are you insinuating I have, Mr. Kapshaw?”

“Mr. Kapshaw is it? All right, let’s start with your need to hold everyone at arm’s length. Weren’t you held enough as a child?” As he spoke, he continued to move closer to her until she was backed up against the edge of the dining table. Indignant and furious, she braced her hand on his chest and pushed him away.

“For your information, I was orphaned as a child—just like you— and I do not hold anyone at—” Her words broke off when he wrapped both of his hands around the one she had on his chest and held her firmly in place.

“Arm’s length?” he asked with a lifted eyebrow as the realization of her outstretched arm between them set in. “You’re distancing yourself, but I don’t understand why. I haven’t done anything to make you hate me so much. Why are you pushing me away?”

Letting her arm relax, Jeanette gasped for air as she tried to put her thoughts and emotions in check. Her mind was spinning with the ramifications of his words. For the first time, she wondered about her own motivations.

“We’re not right for each other.”

His lips curled up into a small smile. “Says who? We seem to fit pretty well together the last time we tested that theory.”

Jeanette couldn’t respond. She didn’t know what else to say. He’d managed to confront her with words she didn’t quite want to face.

Hawke slid his hand up her arm under the loose sleeve of her sweater, stroking his rough, calloused palm over her skin, giving her goosebumps. “Stop thinking about what
should
happen, and let what’s supposed to happen, happen, Doc.”

Before she could think of something witty to say, he tugged on her now relaxed arm, and she fell against his chest, her lips a breath away, and her body pressed snuggly along his. She could feel his rock-hard muscles even though he wore multiple layers and a heavy down coat. Her body responded instantly to the closeness, and she felt her pussy clench and her panties became damp. She clamped her thighs together and heard herself sigh as he bent to kiss her. The touch was butterfly soft and fleeting, and she nearly whimpered when he lifted his head a second later.

“Now, let’s get a Christmas tree.” He helped her stand upright again, and when she frowned in confusion, he placed his finger against her parted lips. “Don’t worry darlin’, I have every intention of continuing this…conversation later.”

Just like that, her blood felt thick and hot in her veins, and all he’d done was tease her. She hated the control he had over her body, and her mind rebelled.

“Don’t count on it cowboy. Just because I’m horny, doesn’t mean I’ll spread my legs for just anyone.” She’d never spoken to anybody so bluntly in her life, but her tongue didn’t seem to be connected to her brain. “I’ll help you get a tree; after that, you’re no longer welcome in my house.”

“Technically, I own this cabin.”

His response pissed her off more.

“Fine, but that doesn’t give you any right to enter it without my permission. According to my contract—”

“Ah yes, there’s that icy Jeanette I know and love. Before you start railing on me with the legal specifics of the contract you signed with my brother and sister-in-law, let’s get on the trail, love. Time’s a wasting.”

He spun away from her, leaving her seething and frustrated, and ready sleep with him just to prove she could walk away afterward without leaving her heart behind. The urge rattled her. Enough that she didn’t continue yelling at him. Instead, she did as he suggested and collected her heavy winter gear, layering up, and following him out to the horses. The winter air would help clear her head of all these crazy desires and hot fantasies. She was sure of it.