Innocence (33 page)

She slumped her shoulders as her tummy killed in pain, knots that were so tight she couldn’t move a muscle. Tears fled from her eyes, really not needing Calvin to feel upset, whatever happened all those years ago was history, it happened there was nothing she could do to reverse the clock, hell knows there had been times she wished she could.

Sophie took the chance at ringing him again…the phone rang and rang, and still there was nothing. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach, she had to see or speak to him.

Her phone sounded, startling her, dropping it on her lap. Quickly, she retrieved the phone and saw Calvin calling her. She swiped her finger across the screen and placed the phone to her ear and mouth.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hi, you called and text me,” she heard him say in a low voice.

“Yeah…I’m sorry about earlier. I never meant to react the way I had, it had just shocked me,” she told him, swallowing hard.

“It’s okay…it did come out pretty rubbish, and made me sound like I was hunting you down like a predator,” he said.

She giggled, desperate to lighten the mood. “Are you laughing at me?” he asked.

“Yes, I am…” She giggled more. “So did you fancy me back then?” she had to ask, curious.

“Yeah…you were kind of sweet, but I never thought I would get in your knickers.” He chuckled.

“Well you did, and I believe I wore frilly ones at that,” she scoffed.

“Yes, I believe you did, pretty baby girl ones with hearts,” he mocked back.

“Well, they certainly left a memory with you,” she crackled.

“Yep, they sure did. Sorry, I stormed out, I just…well, I managed to dig a hole and I was sinking deeper and deeper into it and I felt if I hadn’t left—”

“I would have buried you alive?” She laughed.

“Yes, something like that.”

“Listen it doesn’t matter, what happened back then happened and to be honest,” she said pausing, “you’re the only one I trust.”

“Really.”

“You’re the first one I have trusted since…well since leaving home. I have been through hell and back, used and abused, thrown out when I wasn’t good enough. I have always been lonely, Calvin…”

“So what are you saying?” he asked her.

Clearly he was walking somewhere, with the sound of traffic, making it harder to hear his voice.

“I’m saying, thank you for everything you have done for me and my daughter.”

“Aren’t you cross with me for lying to the nurses?” He chuckled.

“No…no,” she said, thinking deeply about how desperate he must have been to lie. “Do you lie often?”

“No, no never, well not until meeting you…you’re a bad influence,” he scoffed.

“Thanks.” She giggled. “Listen I wondered if you would be able to do me a massive favour tomorrow?” she asked concerned about his reply.

“Go on.”

“Could you take me to see Kacey tomorrow?”

Calvin went silent. She sensed she had overstepped the line.

“Are you allowed off the ward?” Calvin asked.

“I don’t care, I’m going. They will need more than a ball and chain to stop me from seeing my daughter. She is sick, Calvin, and needs her mummy. I want to see her. It’s breaking my heart being restricted to this room, in fact prison is coming to mind and I need to get some air, will you take me in the morning?” she begged him.

“Of course I will, Sophie. Will they let me on the ward?”

“I don’t care, either they allow you on the ward or I walk off,” she said, fed-up with being restricted.

“Well, remember you are seriously ill and need to rest.”

“And so does my daughter,” she snapped back. “Sorry, it’s killing me. I need to see her, after all it’s my fault she is here too soon,” she explained.

“No, don’t you dare blame yourself.”

“If I had been for regular check-ups then she would be fine.”

“Stop talking like that. Nobody knew what was going to happen, stop punishing yourself and concentrate on getting better. Kacey needs her mum full of strength and fighting fit, not a woman who is blaming herself. You had a misfortune and that unfortunately is life,” he told her.

She knew he was trying to encourage her and stop her from thinking negative thoughts, but it was so hard when she was in so much pain and worry.

“I just want to see her,” she said, sobbing her heart out.

“You will. I will come and take you in the morning. Stop fretting!” he said sounding certain.

“Thank you, thank you so much. I really appreciate that,” Sophie snivelled.

“I know you do…look I will be with you as soon as I can. I’ve just arrived at Ross’s house so I’m not too far away from you.”

“Did you say you were staying there?” she asked unable to remember.

“Yes, yes I did.”

“Oh, that’s nice of him.”

“Yes, it is. I wanted to be closer to you both. And well he offered,” Calvin added chuckling.

“That is so sweet of you. Thank you,” she said, reaching for a tissue to blow her nose.

“No problem. Right, I will see you in the morning,” he told her.

“You will, all smiles,” she scoffed.

“Of course.”

Sophie hung up, delighted the way the conversation went, and the fact he was prepared to take her to see Kacey.

She smiled and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to arrive.

Chapter Fifteen

Calvin sensed today was about to pull on every heart string he had. He hadn’t slept a wink, petrified to take Sophie to see her daughter. Scared about her reaction on seeing her tiny bundle attached to so many monitors, the loud beeping was enough to make anyone’s stomach curdle. Worried she wasn’t up to seeing her due to her health, but then he understood how much it must kill her not to have seen her daughter yet.

Then, he was also afraid to tell her that he had to go to London later in the day, stay overnight for an urgent meeting in the morning. He ached, nerving him knowing he was going to be many miles away from Sophie and her daughter. His heart felt tender and full of emotion. He had so much to contend with and yet the anguish and knowledge he discovered seemed to build every day. Here he had been minding his own business over the years, getting on with his wonderful life, money, girls, and power and all the time Sophie had suffered with the fate he had created. Yes, it took two to have sex and make an innocent child, but it still didn’t justify, or help his heart when he thought of all she had been troubled with.

Annoyed, he had gone to Yorkshire to visit his parents, yet blessed to have come across Sophie again and re-kindled the ache in the pit of his stomach he once…or still had for her. Yes, he had pushed Sophie to the back of his thoughts. Honestly, a majority of the time he’d been so wrapped up with the company he had no time for anything else. When he went out in London, it was a case of meal, drink and home, due to being up early to start the day job. He loved his job in real-estate, buying properties and doing them up to then sell for a high purchase price. There were never any developments where he didn’t make plenty of money from. But right now, his job was far from his mind.

Showered and dressed in his jeans and a slack motif T-shirt and plimsolls he decided to take the trip to the hospital. His stomach was in severe knots which were killing his gut. Mouth dry, and his heart beating overtime. He knew today meant everything to Sophie and felt honored she’d asked him to be there when she saw her daughter, he knew she was still sceptical about her mum, which he understood.

He sat in his car that his mum had brought over to him last night, any excuse to check on him, making sure he was getting plenty of rest. He knew that not many people were impressed he was taking on babysitting Sophie, but personally their views meant nothing to him. He cared so much for Sophie, yes he was plagued with guilt, but there was a pain in his gut that made him aware there was something special.

He felt his stomach swirling around, wishing he could stop the ache and be heartless like the bastard who cheated on her and wanted nothing to do with either one of them. How could a man do that? How could they abandon their child they created? Why was it always left to the woman to decide her fate? The thoughts sickened him. Yet Kacey, might need her father’s help, if things took a turn for the worse, medically. He had read up on some serious research last night on what could happen to a premature baby, and he prayed Kacey was strong enough to fight and not need the man, who was her real blood father.

Nevertheless, the father wasn’t in the picture and he knew bringing him up would only make things worse for Sophie, which he wasn’t prepared to do. She had enough to contend with.

He arrived at the double doors wide open and saw the notice…
no visitors out of visiting hours, please, due to doctors’ rounds
. Like he was going to acknowledge that. He walked in, and saw a nurse running around looking very busy, betting they were understaffed.

“Can I help you?” came a voice chirping from the nurses’ station.

“Hi…I’m here to take Sophie Richards to see her daughter in neonatal unit.”

“Ah, she mentioned that not long ago. We’re waiting for the doctor to say whether she is well enough to go,” she informed him.

“Right…and when is the doctor due?” he asked curiously.

“He is on the ward making his rounds.”

“Could you not take him to see Sophie, she is desperate to see her daughter.” Not only that time wasn’t particularly on his side, with him needing to be catching the train to head to London, and he knew the trip would be exceptionally emotional for Sophie, seeing her daughter for the first time.

“I understand that, but she needs the doctor’s permission,” she informed him.

Calvin sensed Sophie wouldn’t listen to what the doctor had to say, but knew how awkward it would be to get her out of the ward without informing someone. He sighed and screwed up his nose.

“Is there no other way of taking her? It is her daughter and I respect the fact she has had a major operation and blood transfusion, but it’s killing her not seeing how her daughter is.”

“I understand that, but she hasn’t been out of intensive care for long, despite the fact she is telling us she is okay. You really have your hands full with her,” she mocked.

Calvin smiled, what else could he do, he wasn’t her partner, he’d lied to everyone in the hospital about their relationship, but he knew if he told the truth he wouldn’t be allowed near either one of them and that would kill him. 

No matter what his mission was to go and see Sophie and hopefully, if the doctor delivered bad news, he could try and calm her down, but that would be a battle in itself. There was one thing he had learned and fast about Sophie, she could be feisty, along with beautiful and sweet.

He walked down to her private room. Calvin stood outside and inhaled a deep breath.
Come on, Calvin, walk in there and offer her your hand…or love…
he shook his head the second thought, he didn’t need, or at least he did, but the timing was pretty terrible. How could he admit to her his heart sang to her and desired her more than anything in his entire life? The churning sensation in the pit of his stomach made him feel sick, but he had to remain strong for Sophie.

Calvin knocked on the door and took hold of the metal handle and entered the room. He could not believe it, he found her fast asleep, just like sleeping beauty. He smiled and entered the room.

Slowly and quietly he closed the door, without making a sound. He hitched his breath and walked around to the chair beside her bed and looked at Sophie, eyes shut, looking so at peace. Her hair pulled back into a ponytail allowing him to admire the contours of her face, her lips slightly parted breathing softly. Her eyebrows thin and brown, her nose perfectly shaped, her lips…he could easily kiss them forever, her ears in perfect line with her nose and cheeks. Her cheeks were a little rosy, but the air in the room was a heat wave.

He sat gazing at her, watching her chest lift up and down to her natural breathing. Her hands placed either side of her body, when she grunted and attempted to turn on her right side, only he watched her squint and frown betting, she was still in much pain.

“You’re beautiful,” he said tenderly. Calvin longed to place his hand on her face and caress the contours, but the truth was he dare not. He couldn’t with the possibility of creating a bigger sting in the tail.

Sitting and waiting for Sophie to wake up, he knew how vital it was for her to sleep.

Suddenly, she murmured, turned again, and parted her lips. She licked her lips and he could not help but think about kissing them again. God, he wanted her. He wanted them to have a full blown relationship and look after one another until…he shook his head again,
Stop it, Calvin, for goodness sake.

“Hi,” her sweet voice sounded.

“Hi.”
Hi, what the hell, Calvin…
“How are you feeling?”

“Like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards,” she mocked. She pressed her lips together and rolled her tongue around her teeth. “Could I have a drink, this place dehydrates me.”

Calvin stood and moved to get her a drink of black-currant cordial. He passed her the drink with the straw and with great care she sipped the fluid up through the straw. He held the cup, watching her, tired, and red eyed.

“That’s better, thank you,” she said.

“No problem, anything for you,” he said, putting the cup back on the table.

“I am guessing the doctor hasn’t been in yet?” she asked.

He then watched her shuffling her bottom up the bed, screwing up her face in pain.

“No, nothing.”

“Where the hell is he? This is taking the piss. I need to see Kacey,” she told him.

“You need to wait for the doctor to inform you whether you’re fit enough to go and see her.”

Sophie shot him a scowl.

“You might not be well enough.”

“My daughter needs me, Calvin, there is nothing to discuss,” she snarled at him.

“I understand, I really do, but you have to be well enough and strong enough to see her,” he said aware she would fight back.

“Excuse me, I carried my daughter for seven months and then she had to come into the world too early and now you’re telling me I cannot see her?” she retorted.

“Look, I am simply saying the doctor might not allow you to go and see her.”

“I don’t care what he or she says. I’m going, it’s not open for discussion.”

Calvin knew he had to keep his mouth shut and stop adding fuel to the fire, but he needed her to try and understand that she was what was important right now, her health and making sure she was strong enough to cope with see her daughter in such a state. He had to at least try and advise her, but clearly it was going to be a battle.

He scratched the back of his head, hoping the doctor would deliver good news, but he sensed another story approaching and had visions of her getting him to kidnap her.

“I have to tell you something,” he said, unsure if now was a good time, but it might help distract her thoughts from the doctor and her daughter.

“What?”

“At six p.m. this evening I have to be at the train station,” he informed her.

Sophie gazed at him and gulped heavy.

“Oh, are you going back to London?” she asked frowning, disappointed.

“Yes, but only for a day or so. Have a major meeting in the morning, and my personal assistant is going to be talking to me about the proposal and whether my company would wish to merge or not, well depends on me to be honest, whether I wish to merge with them.”

“Oh, sounds interesting.”

Calvin started explaining what he did and what he does to properties. The company had many show-homes, where potential investors could look at their work.

“And you make lots of money?” she asked him.

“A little, enough to live on, which is always a bonus.” He smiled not wishing to elaborate too much, aware of her financial situation.

“Must be nice to have luxuries in life, but then I once had all that…speaking of which, there is something I need to tell you…” she said.

He looked into her hazel eyes, when a knock on the door came and in walked a nurse with the doctor.

Calvin left the room, allowing the doctor to exam her. His heart skipped beats, having his fingers crossed that she could go and see Kacey. Aware tomorrow he wouldn’t be able to take her. He wished there was another answer and didn’t need to go to London, but he was the manager and he had to deal with merges, if there were to be any, if not he would walk away.

The doctor and nurse soon came out.

Calvin shot in the room desperate to hear the verdict.

“Well,” he said eager to know what the doctor told her.

“He said I can go, but I have to have a nurse with me and use a wheelchair,” she said grinning and clapping her hands together excited.

“That is fantastic,” he said, a smile glowing as he walked toward her and kissed her on the cheek.

“Yeah, only one problem…no nurse to take me,” she said.

He watched tears start streaming down her cheeks.

“Yes, but there will be a nurse in the neonatal unit, to keep a close eye on you. Hell, I’m pretty sure they have dealt with new mums who are keen to see their baby,” he declared. Either way, it was good news and he was now determined to get her to Kacey, without any further problems.

He left the room and went to the nurse at the station.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, could we have a porter or a wheelchair to take Sophie to her daughter.”

“She requires a nurse to take her,” she told him.

“Yes, that is right.”

He rolled his eyes and knew he had to wait for a nurse and a porter to take her to see Kacey, why did he feel it would be a long wait, and he only had six hours tops before he had to go to the station and jump on the train. It was times like these that he regretted his job, but in saying that, in five solid years of working for the family company it was the first time he had felt this emotion.

Truly, he felt sick to the core and needed Sophie to get to her daughter sooner rather than later.

* * * *

It felt like hours of her waiting and Calvin was nowhere to be seen. He had disappeared after finding out what the doctor had said. She was delighted that she could go and finally meet her little girl, only, problem she was in great pain, but feared to be honest with the doctor. She couldn’t risk him saying
no,
she had to see her little miracle. They both had been through the war and both needed one another to recover. Kacey needed more of her mum’s milk and she would do her best to provide it. Her breasts were heavy and tingling and very uncomfortable.