Intentional (19 page)

I’ve decided Mercer Island is my home from now on; I’m not ever moving again. I’m going to settle here and make a life for myself. I’m not going to run away again. I know I need to grow up, face my problems head on, and deal with whatever life throws at me—the good, the bad, the ugly.

I hear my phone give a little beep—it’s a text message.
Hey
, it says. It’s from Cade!

Me:
Hey yourself.

Cade:
What ru doing tonight?

Me:
Not much, why?

Cade:
I was hoping you might want to come to our rehearsal tonight, meet the guys?

Me:
I’m in! Just tell me where and when.

Cade:
Cool, I’ll pick you up at 6:00.

Me:
I’ll drive. I’ll probably have to leave before you’re finished. I have a client meeting early tomorrow.

Cade:
Ok—I’ll send you the address a little later. We start at 6:30. It’s out at Mica’s house—he has a few acres, so we can get as loud as we want.

Me:
That sounds great—cu soon!

A little bit later, I hear my phone beep again. Cade has sent the address. It’s out in Issaquah, so I Mapquest it. Without traffic, it will take me twenty minutes to get there. I search around my apartment—what do I wear to meet a bunch of guys practicing their music? I’m a little intimidated just thinking about it. I decide to wear my low-rise jeans and plain yellow T-shirt. It’s a little snug, but I have the feeling they won’t mind. I take extra time with my makeup and hair. I don’t know why it’s so important, but I really want to make a good impression.

I arrive a little late, at 7:00 p.m., because of a fender bender on the I-90 bridge eastbound. I pull up at Mica’s house. It’s the perfect setup. In the middle of a huge yard is a cute little house with a large barn that sits behind it.

I hear laughing and talking and band instruments being tuned up. Someone is starting to play drums. I get out of my car and take a deep, cleansing breath. “I can do this. This will be fun. I can do this,” I repeat to myself. I walk into the barn, and everything stops. I look around, and I have four guys and one girl staring at me. I’m seriously considering turning around to leave, when I hear, “Damn, Cade! You’ve been holding out on us! This is Mattie? This is your friend? I
say bullshit! She’s a babe!” The drummer who has practically yelled this—I think his name is Scott—is laughing at Cade. Scott walks right over to me and picks me up in a big hug. He swings me back and forth.

I’m speechless. I look over at Cade. The look on his face is priceless. He looks like he’s angry and trying not to laugh at the same time. He yells, “Put her down! You’re going to scare her off!”

Scott is having a grand ole time swinging me around. I know he’s just trying to annoy Cade at this point. I’ve recovered from my shock at being grabbed suddenly, and I laugh with Scott. “Yeah, I might throw up on you if you keep this up!” He drops me real quick. Everyone is laughing. “Works every time,” I say as I straighten my clothing.

They’re a rambunctious group—they all gather around, talking at once. I hear them giving Cade a hard time—making jokes about my being his girlfriend. I laugh with them at Cade’s discomfort. I think he’s worried about their going too far. I smile over at Cade. He shakes his head. “I warned you.”

Finally, when they get all their joking and ribbing out of the way, I get introduced to everyone. I’ve already met Scott, of course. He bows when we are formally introduced. I like Scott already—he’s
funny. Cade introduces me to Ayden, who plays bass, and Mica, who plays piano and keyboard. Mica also sings backup vocals. I also meet Mary, who is Mica’s girlfriend. She gives me a warm smile as we shake hands.

I didn’t really get a good look at the guys the few times I’ve seen them play. It’s always dark, and, to be honest, I’m always majorly distracted looking at Cade during their performances. As I look from guy to guy, I realize,
Man, these guys are all good-looking. Really good-looking
! Mica has blond, wavy hair; it’s a little on the shaggy side, but it looks good on him. He’s pretty tall—I’d say around six feet. He’s in good shape; he looks like he works out a lot. Ayden has dark, spiky hair and shimmering blue eyes and by far the most tattoos. He’s wearing a ripped T-shirt and tight jeans that have many holes in them that make me not want to look too closely. Oh yes, he has the bad-boy image down pat. Scott has the friendliest face. His dark hair is shaved close to his head. He has laughing green eyes. His expression is open and fun-loving.

Cade claps everyone to attention. “Let’s get going, guys—we don’t want to be here all night.” I look for a place to be out of their way. Mary waves me over to the side. We sit together on a couple of
chairs next to a table with bottles of beer, popcorn, chips, and pretzels sitting atop it. As the band is gearing up for their first song, Mary leans over to me. “So, how did you meet Cade?”

I laugh. “He actually pulled me out of a river.”

She looks at me curiously. “I bet that’s a story!” The music starts and interrupts our conversation.

I find the creative process of their rehearsal fascinating. Cade is definitely the leader of this group. He takes input, but he’s in control and makes most of the decisions. They seem to be a cohesive bunch, with little conflict. They joke and laugh a lot. Cade looks over at me often; I think he wants to make sure I’m not bored. I’m the furthest thing from bored as I can be. I could sit here all night.

These past weeks have been so much fun for me. I know Cade’s friendship is what has helped me to feel almost normal again. I look over at him. It almost doesn’t seem fair—he is so darn good-looking, paired with his incredible voice, it’s overwhelming. I can feel my emotional reaction to him start to take over. I feel the warmth that spreads through me each time I hear him sing. I know we’re just friends, but I continually experience this physical pull, or maybe
yearning? I want distance, but I can’t seem to convince myself to pull away. I am so drawn to him.

I look over to where Mary is sitting. We’ve had some broken conversations during the breaks between songs. She seems very nice and down to earth. I like her a lot. I’ve asked her to meet me for coffee next week, and she seemed complimented and eager to come.

I start to gather my things together to leave. I’ve stayed much longer than I planned. “I really enjoyed meeting you, Mary! I’ll look forward to getting together for coffee next week.”

She replies, “I’m so glad you came! I always feel outnumbered when I come for rehearsals. It’s nice to have another girl to talk to.” She says in a quieter voice, “Cade never brings anyone here—ever.”

I’m not sure what to say. “Oh. Yeah, I haven’t known him for very long, but we’ve become good friends.”

She gives me a knowing look. “How long do you think it will stay like that? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. I’ve never seen Cade like this.”

I’m a little embarrassed. “Really?”

She nods. “Really.” She looks like she’s going to say something else. I give her a questioning look. She says, “Never mind.”

I get up to say good-bye to Cade and the guys. They all come over. Scott gives me another bear hug; this time, his hand drops dangerously close to my backside. Cade swats his hand away and scowls at him. Scott laughs loudly, pointing at Cade. “I knew it! You’re getting possessive!”

Cade pushes him good-naturedly. “Have some respect—she’s going to think we’re all animals!”

I’m laughing as I leave the barn. This has been a good night. I hear Ayden yell to me, “Hey, Mattie, do you have a request for Saturday night?”

I look over; they are all looking at me expectantly. “How about a Beatles song?”

Cade says, “Which one?”

“I don’t care—I love them all!” I respond.

Cade smiles. “I know just the one.”

I thought when I relocated to Washington that it would take me a long time to build up my business again. This is the one time I’m glad that I was wrong. I changed the name of my graphic-design business from Sedona Graphic Design to Islander Graphics. I advertised in the local
phone directory, changed my web page, and took out an ad in both the
Mercer Island Reporter
and the
Mercer Island Patch
. The business started trickling in right away. The first few weeks I was steadily busy, and then I was slammed. I’m actually having to turn work away now.

My goal has always been to really focus my attention on the clients I have. It’s important to me to make sure they have a product they can be proud of. I’ve always loved the creative side of my job. It lets me express myself in such a positive way. I think that’s why I enjoy watching Cade’s band so much. It’s a different sort of creativity, but it’s also similar.

It’s Friday, and I haven’t heard from Cade since rehearsal on Wednesday. I realize that Thursday was the only day since we’ve met that we didn’t talk at least once. Why am I even thinking about this? I tell myself to get a life and continue on with my workday. Today I’m designing a logo for a local preschool. It’s a child’s face blooming out of a flower. I really like it. I’ve talked to the owner about her vision at length, and I think this will be perfect.

A ping on my phone interrupts my thoughts. I glance at it and notice I have a text from Cade:
Just checking to make sure you’re making it to the show tomorrow. We’ve been practicing your song!
I
smile. I wonder which Beatles song he picked. There are so many to choose from.

I text back:
Yep, save me a seat at the front. Ha ha! I’ll try to squish in past all your admirers
.

Cade answers,
I can get you a seat toward the back of the stage.

I’m trying to figure out if that’s what I want to do. Julianne and Sam can’t come this weekend, so I’m going solo anyway.
That sounds great!
I answer back.

He responds,
I’ll look forward to it!

I text,
Me too.

Saturday can’t come soon enough (again!). This is becoming a habit with me. Maybe if I go to enough shows, the excitement will wear off…Hmm, for some reason, I don’t think this strategy will work. I shake off my thoughts and get ready for the night. I’m just going to enjoy myself, listen to some great music, and have fun.

I decide to take a taxi to the nightclub. The idea of having a few drinks and walking to the parking lot alone isn’t something I want to do, especially on a Saturday night. The taxi drops me off right in front. I can hear the music—they’ve started to play already. I go to
walk past the doorman, and he stops me. He says, “All full. No one else is getting in.” I didn’t even think about this.

Great—I’m all dressed up with no place to go. I contemplate just standing on the sidewalk so I can at least hear them, when I hear a familiar voice over the microphone. “Hey, Jerry, let her in—she’s with us.” Cade has spotted me at the door. The entire crowd turns to look at me. The women stationed faithfully at the front of the stage are staring daggers at me. I turn to Jerry; he gives me a nod.

Now I have to make the long walk from the nightclub’s entrance to stage left. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so uncomfortable. I give the crowd a pasted-on smile and make my way to the steps next to the stage. I’m blushing profusely. Scott gets up to give me another one of his hugs. He kisses me on the cheek and places me in a chair over to the side. Thank goodness—now the attention can go back to the group. I’m placed so I can look out at the audience. The women who have surrounded the front of the stage are looking at me like I have horns in my head. I start to wonder if anyone has ever sat onstage with them before. Well, I’m not actually on the stage—but I’m pretty darn close.

The music starts up again, and everyone is enjoying the show. I’m loving that I’m so close; I can feel the music vibrating through me.
The only thing I would change is my position—I can’t see Cade’s face from my vantage point. I’m sitting in a chair over to the side of Scott. He’s a great drummer, and he enjoys every minute of it. He looks over at me every once in a while and gives me that great smile of his. I’m watching all the people dancing in front of the stage; it makes me want to dance again. There is a pause before the next song. Cade announces, “Hey, everyone, we’ve added another song to our repertoire. This is for my good
friend
.” He turns around and looks at me with a mischievous smile. Oh, I’m going to kill him! The girls in front look they are going to rush the stage and string me up.