Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) (16 page)

Smirking, “I’d like your
input.”

“
Uh, I, ok.
Why?”

“
Why do you think?” She
shrugged her shoulders. “My hope is to live there with you. It’s
your house, too.”

“
No pressure, right!” She
shook her head at me and turned toward the kitchen.

“
Cass…”

“
It’s ok. I’ll look at
them with you, but I’m not sure that me getting invested in a house
is such a good idea.” I followed her to the kitchen and watched as
she opened the various soups. “It’s a lot to process.”

“
I know.” It was too much.
A day earlier she thought I still wanted a divorce and there I was
talking about building a house. “Sorry. I’ll back off.”

“
James, its ok. Really.
Why don’t you show me what you got?”

She poured herself some
soup and I did the same before we sat at the table. I pointed out
the general layout and floor plan to her. She didn’t say much, just
smiled and nodded. “We can change anything if you don’t like it,
but if we want any hope of moving in before the end of the year, we
need to get moving.” She started coughing on her soup, probably
inhaling some. “Too fast?”

She smiled as she got her
coughing under control. “That fast, huh?” I confirmed. “It looks
really big.”

“
Only about four thousand
square feet.”

“
Only
, he says. James, that’s huge.”

“
It’s not
that
big, but thanks for
noticing.” I winked at her as she rolled her eyes at me.

“
You’re not cleaning
it.”

“
You don’t have to clean
it either.”

“
Now you’re playing
dirty.” She scanned her eyes over the drawings again.

“
Want bigger?”

She smacked my arm, “Knock
it off. We can always add on, right?”

“
That’s the spirit.” She
laughed and it was then that I realized how much I missed her smile
and laughter. It filled me up with hope.

“
What are you staring at?”
She started checking her face as I shook my head at her.

“
You. You’re
beautiful.”

“
Please. My hair’s up and
I’m in yoga pants and a sweatshirt.”

“
Exactly. Even like this,
you’re simply stunning.”

“
Whatever. Back to the
house.” She never could take a compliment.

“
So, what are some things
you’d want in your dream house?”

“
Hmm. A huge kitchen would
be nice.”

“
For all that cooking you
do?” We both knew it wasn’t her specialty.

“
No. For the chef you’ll
hire to cook for me.” She stuck her tongue out and carried on. “A
library, an amazing bathroom, guest bedrooms because it seems silly
to have all that space and not enough bedrooms to hold friends and
family.”

“
How many
bedrooms?”

She scrunched her lips
together as she mulled it over. “I don’t know. Five or six in
addition to ours would be nice.”

“
Five or six! It needs to
be bigger if you want all that. At least five thousand square feet
then.”

“
Oh, Jesus. Knock it off.”
We were both laughing. “With the right design, is there a
basement?” I nodded and she continued, “If the rooms are big enough
you could have multiple sets of bunk beds, like at the cabin in
some guest rooms or the basement. Murphy beds are making a comeback
too.”

“
Definitely five
thousand…OW!” She punched me in the arm, “Ok, six thousand.” She
crossed her arms over her chest as we laughed at one
another.

“
What about you? What are
some things you want in a house?”

“
Game room, media room, a
sweet ass bar…”

“
You’re such a guy. Ok, I
want a craft room and an office.”

Smiling, “I need an office
too. Maybe we could share.”

“
It would need to be a big
office. My craft room and office could be one. With the event
planning it should be together anyways.” She was still thinking,
“Oh, and a big closet with lots of storage for shoes.”

“
Shoes? I didn’t take you
for a shoe girl.”

“
Eh, I could learn. I
prefer boots anyways, not heels.”

“
What about a
playroom?”

She seemed to grow nervous.
“Um…isn’t that what our bedroom is for?”

“
Will our bedroom be off
limits to guests, because if it is then that should
work?”

“
I’ve always fancied
hidden passageways. Bookcases that open to secret rooms. Think you
can do that?”

Noting her sarcastic tone,
I played along. “Anything is possible. I can check with Paul.” She
grew uncomfortable when I said his name and I couldn’t blame her.
“Sorry.”

“
It’s ok. He works for
you. It’s just weird. Are you sure he’s going to be ok with all of
this?”

“
If he’s not, I’ll find
someone else to do it.” She started chewing on her nails and I took
her hand. “Hey, it’s going to be ok. We’ll find a way around it
all. Can I ask where things stand with you two?”

She sighed, “I told him I
needed space. Time.”

“
I see.” I tried to keep
my anger in check. I was the one who pushed her into his arms. The
question would be where she stayed and would he respect her choice
if it was me. Because I knew I’d have a hell of a time respecting
it if she chose him.

“
I’ll talk to him.” She
placed her hand over mine. “I want
this
.”

“
I can come with
you.”

Shaking her head, “No. We
all have our own history. This needs to be between Paul and me.”
Taking a deep breath she said, “He told me what happened with
Cora.”

“
Yeah, I guess we’re even
now. But in my defense, I didn’t know she was married.”

“
This isn’t a pissing
contest.”

“
I know.
Sorry.”

“
This is all my fault.
I’ve probably ruined your friendship.”

“
Don’t worry about it.
You’re my number one concern, not Paul.”

“
Me too.” Finally, some
validation!

We watched a couple movies
and half way into the second one, she fell asleep curled up next to
me. I struggled behaving myself before she relaxed against me and
got comfortable. Her head was in my lap as I ran my fingers through
her red locks. I pulled a blanket over her and dropped my head to
the back of the couch. There was no way I was going to disturb
her.

I woke to her trying to
tip-toe out of the room as she made her way for the stairs. Her
blanket was now covering me as my eyes adjusted to the
dark.

“
Cassidy?”

She stopped and turned
slowly, “James?”

Standing, I walked over to
her. “I should probably head out.” She nodded slowly as I asked
her, “You still up to meeting with Dr. Pratt?”

“
Yes, of
course.”

I pulled her into a hug,
whispering, “Are you going to work? I can pick you up, but if
you’re already downtown…”

“
I’ll stay in touch. I’ll
probably try to go to work.”

She was a very hard worker
and I couldn’t recall a single day that’d she’d taken off work just
for the sake of taking off work. “Ok. Get some rest.” She lifted
her face to mine and stared into my eyes. “Cassidy, you should go
to bed.”

She blinked her eyes a few
times, acknowledging, “Right. Sorry. Habit I guess.”

Fuck it. It was just a
kiss. I yanked her closer and dropped my hungry mouth to hers. The
moan that escaped her lips sent a thrill through me. Her body
immediately relaxed into mine as she let me lead the kiss. I loved
her so much. She was the breath that filled my lungs. I wanted, no
needed, to possess her and she’d let me if I pushed her. Showing no
fear or hesitation, she’d always given her body over to me
willingly. I had to treasure that. I cupped her face and slowed the
kiss as her hands clung to my side.

It took all my strength to
separate our mouths as I dropped a kiss to her forehead. “I should
go.”

Her eyes were still closed
as she dropped her head to my chest. Mumbling, “I hate you,” I
grinned from ear to ear knowing her words weren’t true.

“
Got to leave the lady
wanting more.”

“
Who said anything about
me being a lady?”

I chuckled as she smiled up
at me. “Maybe the lady can take care of herself, but I want
details, or pictures.”

“
A lady wouldn’t send you
pictures or give you details.” She winked as I turned toward the
door.

“
You won’t be the only one
taking care of things alone.” She pursed her lips and if she
thought I missed her eyes dropping to my groin, she was wrong.
“Harlot!”

Her eyes sparkled as she
gave me her ‘come hither’ look. “No sex. That was the agreement.
And I’m the furthest thing from a harlot! Maybe.” She walked around
me and opened her front door. “You’ve overstayed your welcome Mr.
Benedict.”

She could barely contain
her grin as I stepped out to her porch. Making sure one of Smith’s
guys was parked out front, I looked back to her. “Goodnight,
Cassidy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“
Looking forward to it.”
She didn’t close the door until I was in my truck. I saw the light
come on in her bedroom as I pulled away.

~ PAUL ~

How could she change her
tune so quickly? I pulled in the drive several minutes after his
truck left and banged on the front door. Her light was still on
upstairs so I knew she was awake. When the door finally opened, the
smile on her face quickly changed to one of surprise.

“
Expecting someone
else?”

“
Paul, I, no. What are you
doing here? It’s late.”

“
What was
he
doing here? I thought
you said you needed time and space.”

“
Paul, I told you it’s
complicated. He’s my husband.”

“
And he threw you away
like yesterday’s news. I sat by and watched the way he treated you.
How can you go back to that?”

“
Paul, I know he’s your
friend and I know you care about me. I do.” She tried putting her
hand on my arm and I shook her off. “I don’t need to justify or
explain my relationship with James to you.”

I stumbled as I tried to
stand a little taller. “What relationship?” Her face contorted as
my breath hit her in the face.

“
You’re drunk!”

I took a bow and smiled at
her. “Yes, I am. Congratulations! I’m not the only man you’ve
driven to drink.” She went to say something, but stopped short.
“Cat got your tongue? Or maybe Misty or Roxy? Hell, I can’t keep
them straight.”

I wasn’t expecting the
smack that came, but I should’ve. The girl had a temper and only
put up with so much. As my eyes focused on her face, I could see
the tears welling in her eyes. “How dare you! I feel horrible about
that night, but at least I know Misty and Roxy won’t hold it
against me.”

“
And what about
James?”

“
What about him? He knows,
if that’s what you’re asking.”

“
You told him!”

“
I didn’t have
to.”

She didn’t have to? I stood
there for a minute as my thoughts tried to make sense of her words.
Fuck! My head was spinning. All I wanted was her and I was too
late. “Cassidy, I’m sorry.”

“
Paul, I’m sorry too. You
need to go.” She averted her attention to someone behind me. “Can
you call him a cab or something?”

“
I don’t need your
pity.”

“
It’s not pity. You’re
drunk.”

“
Screw you. Oh, wait. I
already did that.” I had to get out of there. I got in my SUV and
dropped the keys on the floor too many times to remember. My
forehead found its way to rest on my steering wheel and I closed my
eyes. A knock came on the window and I recognized Frank.
Shit!
How much time had
passed?

I opened the door and
stepped out. His partner was standing by a patrol car and Cassidy
was nowhere to be seen.
FUCK! What had I
said to her?
I was a mean mother fucker
when I drank.

“
Cassidy said you could
use a ride home.”

“
Shit. Yeah. Probably not
a bad idea.”

“
I could arrest you
Vincent. You owe me. Where are the keys?”

I pointed to the floor and
stumbled around to the passenger side. Frank drove me home as his
partner followed. It was a quick drive and I was grateful, knowing
I shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. I needed to apologize to
Cassidy, but I didn’t even know what to apologize for. I just
needed sleep.

~ CASSIDY ~

Sleep was hard to come by
that night. Paul had every right to be angry with me, I just hadn’t
expected him to lash out at me the way he did. I had been trying to
put my feelings of embarrassment aside and he had made it ten times
worse. Quickly, I sank into a horrible depression. I was a hussy, a
harlot, a slut, and certainly no lady. Who sleeps with their ex—and
two chicks—at the same time just days after making a legal
separation from her husband? I turned my alarm off, my phone to
mute and crawled under the covers. Happiness didn’t owe me any
favors and I deserved all the misery I brought upon
myself.