Love Today (44 page)

I made my way to the front room where my mom was grading papers. She saw me looking around for Maggie and said, “She went back to bed.”

“Oh. What was up?”

“Oh she just woke up and needed a
drink
. She’s fine.”

I slightly nodded and sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

“How are you?” my mom asked.

She was studying me pretty intently and I knew why. I wasn’t even going to pretend I didn’t know why she’d ask me that.

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

She set her papers on the coffee table and took off her reading glasses. “You were on the phone with Zack, huh? For quite a while.”

I didn’t say anything at first, mainly because I wasn’t sure how she was going to judge me. It probably lessened her
critique
of me when I said, “I only
talked to him for about ten minutes and then Jared called. Most of the time on the phone was with him.”

She barely nodded but didn’t respond right away. The guilt was already eating at me, and since my mom already knew that, I decided to talk to her about it. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to, but I also felt that it couldn’t hurt.

But she was the one that began the conversation when she asked, “So you feel like you need to choose between the two
of them now
?” I didn’t reply and she continued. “Taryn, I know how you felt about Zack. And with everything that happened—with Rachel, and with Zack leaving, and you getting Maggie full time, and Jared’s interest in you—I know it was very difficult for you. I understand how our lives can kind of feel out of our control sometimes, and
we
just don’t
know what to do. You
have two great relationships with two wonderful guys
.
But the bottom line is that
you
love two very different young men. And of course that isn’t unheard of, but it’s not a good place for you to be.”

“I know that.”

“I know you know that. So… What’s going to happen?”

I groaned. “You know that’s my dilemma, right?

She smiled at my sarcasm, but she seemed to think for a few seconds. Finally she said,
“It’s said that if you’re ever in a situ
ation where you love two people…
that you should pick the second one
. B
ecause you wouldn’t have fallen in love with that person if you were truly in love with the first one.”

I just stared at her for a few seconds because
it kind of took me by surprise. Also,
hearing that made my stomach sink. I mean I guess I could understand the logic, but what about me? What about the other factors that played a role? How could you actually sort all of that out? I knew I wanted to stay with Zack at the time, and he pretty much broke my hear
t when he didn’t feel the same way. But now I had been given a second chance to be with him and I couldn’t do it. I loved being with Jared, and the thought of changing that made me feel heartbroken.

“So where does that leave me?”
I eventually asked.

She barely smiled, even though she tried not to. “I don’t know, honey. I guess that’s what I’m trying to
help you
figure out.”

“Well you haven’t helped me with anything.”

“Because I didn’t flat out give you an answer to something I have no right answering?”

“You’re telling me to stick with Jared?”

“
I think you already know your answer,
”
she smiled knowingly.

I
could only stare at her for a moment because she was right. But
I told my mom that I needed to get to b
ed, so after checking on Maggie
I too
k myself to my room,
hoping to rid my head of all my worries
.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I kind of had a slow start the next morning. I kept hitting the snooze button until I knew I absolutely had to get up. I was in the shower when Jared arrived, and when I entered the
dining room
, Jared, Maggie,
Braden
, and my parents were having French toast.

“There’s Sleeping Beauty,” Jared joked.

My brother snorted, so to spite him I said, “Well I guess since my Prince didn’t kiss me to wake me up, he gets to do it
now
.”

Braden
pretended to gag, but with a smile, Jared stood and sad, “Gladly.”

“No making out,”
Braden
scowled.

“What’s making out?” Maggie asked.

Braden
was going to reply, but since we didn’t know what was going to come out of his mouth, my mom cut him off and said, “When two people kiss a lot.”

That made
Maggie giggle and she said, “Ha-
ha
,
they are always making out.”

For some reason that made all of us laugh, even
Braden
. Maggie felt pretty accomplished for being a jokester, and then she returned to consuming her breakfast
.

“You feeling okay?” Jared asked quietly as he followed me into the kitchen.

With a nod I replied, “Yeah, just…took me a while to get up this morning. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize… You didn’t sleep well?”

“Uh, not really.”

He watched me put two pieces of French toast on my plate before he asked, “Any particular reason or…?”

“No, just one of those nights. My mind wouldn’t shut off. I kept thinking about today.”

That made him smile and he nodded. It was the truth, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation I’d had with my mom.
I thought
about it all night,
which is what kept me awake unti
l three a.m.—until
I was
positive
that
I
was
going to do
the right thing
.

After breakfast I headed out with Jared. Maggie was kind of disappointed at first that she still couldn’t come with us, but my parents reminded her of the fun day they were going to have and she willingly gave us hugs goodbye. I could tell that
Braden
desired to come with us too, but he was trying hard to not act like a five-year-old about it.

“We’re kind of popular,” Jared joked when we were in his Camaro. He’d had someone
ship
it down from Washington for him and I could tell he was so happy to have it back.

“
You
are the popular one,” I replied.

He only chuckled, but when he pulled over at the end of the street, it was my turn to smile because I knew his intentions. “Man, I can’t wait to make out with you,” he said.

I scooted closer to him and said, “Were you too chicken to make out in my parents’ driveway?”

He smiled and returned the kiss I gave him. After a few seconds he said, “No, but I figured the longer we lingered, Maggie or
Braden
would think we changed
our
minds.”

“Ha, no kidding.”

We kissed a little longer and then headed out
to the first house on Jared’s list
.
We were a few minutes late, but Cassandra—the real estate agent that had been recommended to Jared through mutual friends—was okay with that. She’d shown us three homes so far and I really liked her. She was probably in her mid-forties, pretty laid-back, and knew the answer to any question we had.
She didn’t seem too affected by who Jared was and I knew he appreciated that. She also just hung back and let us
view
the homes by ourselves, which was nice.

I wasn’t too picky about houses at all. Every house that Jared had researched was way beyond anything that I would have even considered, so I just went along with it and let him work out his preferences.
There were particular things he required—like a certain amount of privacy for the home and a space for his recording equipment—so I felt that he should be the decision maker.
He’d ask my opinion about almost everything, but I told him that houses were just not my expertise.

“Do you like the dark countertops?” he asked when we were in the kitchen.

I shrugged. I thought they were fine.

With a smile he said, “Well d
o you like them better than the gray granite that was in the Hillsdale house?”

I had to think for a second. “Uh, the one with the two-story entry?” When he nodded I said
, “I like this color better.
”

“So do I. What about the floors? Do you like so much wood?”

I looked to where the wood flooring went wall to wall throughout the main living space we were in. “Yeah, I think it’s really pretty. I don’t really like this color though… I kinda liked the wood that was in the Hillsdale house instead.”

“The Brazilian maple?”

I laughed and said, “Sure, the Brazilian maple.”

He smiled and took my hand to walk down the hall to the bedrooms. There were three of them in that particular hallway
; t
wo of them were bigger than any bedroom that I’d ever had, and the third one was a bit smaller
.

“Maggie would like that,” Jared po
inted out. It was a little step-
up in the larger bedroom that had a cute railing around it and built in bookshelves.

I nodded my agreement. “Yeah, she would love that. She’d have those shelves filled in no time.”

“Definitely.”

After our tour of one end of the house, we journeyed to th
e other end. The master bedroom
always gave me an odd feeling. I guess because Jared and I were in it together, not just looking at the basic feel of it, but also considering a life living in it. He always told me the master bedroom would be mine
,
but I could never picture it—at least not without
him
.

This particular bedroom didn’t really do much for me, and I could tell that Jared didn’t like it either. Even if we painted it a different color, he didn’t like the carpet in it, or the master bathroom.

“It’s okay, I guess,” he shrugged. “But it’s your room so you decide,” he added with a smile.

It was a no-go for me.

After taking a brief tour of the upstairs, we headed out for the next house on our list. I expected that it was going to be pretty nice because it was in the Claremont Hills area. Jared knew that bigger wasn’t necessarily better in my opinion, so I was glad when this house was a little smaller than the other ones that we’d look
ed
at. I said “a little smaller,” not “small.” It was still a roomy home, but not overly so
.

However, I got a go
od feeling the second we arrived
.
It was on two acres, fully fenced and gated with beautiful lawns and lots of privacy. When we walked inside, t
he living room was nice
and simple
, and I liked that the family room was at the back of the house with an e
xtra bedroom and full bathroom. In the corner
was a set of wide stairs that led
both up and down.

The basement was mainly
a
huge
rec
room
.
Besides the big open room,
there was also
a bathroom and two large walk-in storage closets.
The top floor
consisted of one large bedroom
with a bathroom, and other than a 14x16 open loft
, that was it for the upper level.

I loved the combination of wood flooring and carpet, the kitchen was perfect to both of us, and the quality of materials used
was
to Jared’s approval.
I was falling in love with the house before we even made it to the master bedroom.

Once we did make our way to the other end, we peeked into
two more be
drooms that shared a bathroom, b
ut around the corner from that…

“Whoa, welcome to another house?” I asked.

Jared chuckled at the double doors, but he opened the one with the handle and entered the room. He was casually looking around like he’d done in every other house, but I was still standing in the doorway. He turned around and realized that and asked, “What’s up?”

I finally entered the room and shook my head. “Nothing. I guess I’m still, um, easily impressed.”

He smiled and took me in his arms. “You think you’d like this as your room? Check that out,” he pointed. He kept one arm around me and motioned to the double doors that led to a private patio. The curtains were drawn back to reveal the beautiful landscaping and a hot tub. There had been other houses that were
more
impressive, but this one just seemed…perfect to me.