Naughty Secrets (23 page)

Ladies, if you want to tell a man you want to play, just do it. Most men seem to be turned on by a woman who enjoys toys.

Although my boyfriend’s a bit shy, when we first met I made it known that I’m slightly kinky and enjoyed all kinds of games.
I bought a penis whip and nipple clamps and kept them hidden away until I thought he was ready to play. He found them one
night and knew that I wanted them used on me.

He was a bit hesitant at first but I told him gently exactly what I wanted. He told me later that my talking made it lots
easier for him because that way he knew exactly what I expected. In the future I’d like to try soft restraints, leather gloves
(for spanking my ass), soft whips that sting but don’t hurt too much, clit clips, and an anal vibrator to put in my ass while
he fucks my pussy and bites my nipples.

We used a blindfold once. It was a lot of fun but sadly I’ve never seen it again. I think it would be fun to experiment with
other things. I’ve always had a fantasy of his tying me up and “having his way” with me but I don’t think he’s interested
in that one.

We use toys a lot! We like to play with vibrators and other forms of dildo-type toys, as well as silk scarves, feathers, flavored
lotions, whipped cream, etc. Anything that stimulates the senses adds to the excitement of our sex play and lovemaking. We
both also love lingerie, and I enjoy dressing up in outfits that I know turn him on. I’m even thinking about buying a wig
in case he wants to make love to a blonde!

In the beginning with my current partner it sort of just happened. I’ve always had my private little toy chest, and when he
bought me the first of many vibrators, I knew it was time to show him the other fun things I own. I’ve even made the leap
to getting him some “guy” toys. So far he isn’t having as much fun with them as I do with mine, but we’re still working on
it.

In the early days I shopped through the mail using advertisements I found in the back of magazines. Now I use the Internet,
and occasionally go to an “adult” store. I was embarrassed at first, convinced everyone in town knew because I was sure that
the postman would tell everyone that I received “plain brown wrappers.” Now it’s sort of funny to get advertisements that
say SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIALS on the outside of the envelope. I guess we don’t worry about those things as much anymore,
but I’m still embarrassed to visit some of the “adult” stores, where I have to purchase things like split-crotch panties from
a real live person.

As for approaching someone new with your love of toys, not everyone is open to this. You just sort of have to wait and see,
or broach it very carefully. Thank heaven for an adventurous, enthusiastic lover!

My wife and I often include toys in our love play. We have vibrators, clitoral stimulators, anal dildos, and some restraints
and blindfolds. We use them primarily as an extra stimulus during foreplay or intercourse, but sometimes my wife will tie
me down and masturbate with her vibrator while I’m “forced” to watch. Her favorite vibrator is called the Techno Rabbit. It
has moving beads inside a vibrating, rotating shaft with a protruding clitoral vibrator. It almost makes me obsolete, but
I enjoy stroking myself as I watch her launch herself into orgasmic orbit.

We started using toys to allow ourselves the opportunity to play in new ways and in new places. The first toy we ever used
was a basic bullet-shaped vibrator I got from a mail-order company. I got it for her—she was then my fiancée—so she could
use it on herself in the car on long trips. She enjoyed it so much that she got me to use it on her as she went down on me.
It was poorly made and didn’t last more than a couple of months, so when the time came to replace it, I talked her into going
to an upscale sex shop to pick out another one.

She was very nervous, but very intrigued by all the different types of sex toys available. She was amazed at the variety and
had a hard time choosing, but since she was embarrassed to be in a sex shop, she quickly picked out a more realistic-looking
vibrator and made me pay for it. Let me say that not only was she embarrassed, she was also very aroused. When we got in the
car, she quickly opened the box and examined her new treasure. She was so excited, she made me pull into the nearest convenience
store to buy batteries and practically wore those out on the ride home.

Now we go to the adult store every couple of months and make a date out of it. She has gotten over her shyness, and eagerly
and closely examines each product on the shelf. She really gets excited and never forgets to get the batteries.

My wife already had a few toys from her single days but she was embarrassed about it. One evening she made a joke about them
to test the waters. I let her know really quickly that I was eager to play and we’ve been enjoying ourselves ever since.

In the future, I would like to try a hands-free sleeve by the same company that makes the Sybian, or maybe one of those multi-thousand-dollar
lifelike dolls. Maybe someday.

For those who might not know, a hands-free sleeve is a cylindrical vibrator that fits over the penis and a Sybian is a very
expensive vibrating dildo that women can mount for sexual pleasure.

My wife had a vibrator before we met and sometimes I use it on her or she uses it while I watch. It is nice to see her wild
with lust from the little buzzer

If I were trying to bring toys into a new relationship I might ask if she had ever used any. If she said yes, then I’d ask
whether she still had them. With several old girlfriends, when we were just beginning to make love after dates I brought a
little vibrator with me and introduced it when the woman was really hot. Most of the women loved it, although afterward a
few felt as if they had been tricked. Of course, when I agreed and said I wouldn’t use my little toy anymore, they were quick
to change their minds and allow me to do it to them again… soon!

My wife and I have a number of dildos, vibrators, anal probes, soft-lined wrist and ankle bracelets with rope for bondage,
a blindfold, a spatula for light spanking. I also made a set of adjustable nipple clamps out of clothes pegs, based on illustrations
from an Internet site.

I think we “matured” into them. I wouldn’t have thought of such a thing in the early years of our relationship but as time
passed we wanted to experiment a little. I think the Internet and access to erotica that described their use inspired me considerably.

I buy my toys at a typical adult video/sex-toy novelty shop. It’s difficult to remain nervous since the woman who owns it
is so helpful and matter-of-fact, you’d think you were buying a carton of eggs from her.

When I wanted to try toys the first time, I told my wife that I had read that Dr. Ruth recommended it, and she agreed to give
it a try, even though she was apprehensive at first. Since then we’ve played more and more. Now I don’t have any problem buying
toys. I am an adult and am proud of my sexuality....

I bought a small four-inch vibrator a few years ago to experiment on my wife as a foreplay toy and we still use it occasionally.
When she is in the mood it drives her nuts, but she fights it. I think the whole idea frightens her—maybe she thinks it’s
dirty or something.

We sometimes play with toys as part of foreplay. We have both a vibrator and a vibrating dildo. My wife is pretty subtle when
she is interested (smile)! She indicates that she wants to use them by simply reaching across me to the nightstand to get
one or both. She controls the vibrator on her clitoris and nipples while I use the dildo in her vagina.

My husband doesn’t like to put his fingers into my pussy after he comes inside me. He says it’s gross so I bought a dildo
to help when I haven’t come yet.

There are only two stores where I live to get stuff like that. One is gross, with dirty old men playing with themselves in
the back room. I went there once and they made me feel disgusting. The other is run by a cute little old lady and it’s clean.
She’s never made me feel like a pervert or embarrassed about going in there so I go there a lot. She also has sexy lingerie
in plus sizes!

No toys yet. My boyfriend is still in the closet about sex and that sucks! I plan to have a sex-toy party soon. He will be
shy about it, but we will have lots of fun. Eventually.

When my wife was having trouble getting to climax I used a vibrator on her and she still enjoys it a lot!

Long ago I developed a fetish for chastity belts. I bought one and asked my wife to play with me and at first she refused.
After several months, however, she gave it a try, but it still took a while before she got comfortable with the idea.

During June 1998 she had to go out of town for a week to attend a conference. She shyly suggested that I wear the chastity
belt while she was gone and I eagerly agreed. That week was a wonderful dichotomy of sexual arousal and frustration.

The night she got back I was drooling all over myself in anticipation of a night of great sex. Unfortunately for me, the flight
was somewhat bumpy and she arrived feeling a bit airsick. She did not offer to end my frustration but instead suggested we
get a good night’s sleep. I spent the night snuggled up next to her with my caged member throbbing for release. It was wonderful
torture, just what I had in mind when I bought the thing.

The next morning she unlocked the belt and we took a long hot shower, then hit the bedroom for an all-day sexcapade. What
made it so great was the feeling that she had accepted my fantasy and was apparently taking pleasure from sharing it with
me. Unfortunately, that was the last time she was interested in that fantasy. Maybe…

The best sex I ever had was with a girl I met a long time ago. She was so open to everything I liked and wanted to try new
things. We used toys and nipple clamps and, well, everything. We even watched X-rated films together. She was just so open
about her sexuality.

Recently something new happened for my girlfriend and me. We bought our first vibrator and took it home to try out. My girlfriend
undressed, got on the bed, and I took the vibrator and began rubbing her breasts, legs, and nipples. I watched her nipples
get stiff as I massaged them with the toy.

She spread her legs real wide and I put the vibrator on her vaginal lips. Fluid was starting to flow and she reached down
with her fingertips and gently pulled her outer lips open so I could see the nub of her erect clitoris. I put the vibrator
against it and she moaned softly. There was juice all over her vulva as the toy hummed. She was bucking her hips as the stimulation
reached its peak.

I never played and won’t. Our own body parts are toys enough!

That just about says it, so consider your partner’s wishes whatever you decide to do.

P
retend games. What do they add to the bedroom, you might wonder. Actually playing pretend games allows both partners the freedom
to do something or be someone they might not be as comfortable doing without the camouflage of another persona. For example,
have you ever wanted to be dominant? Be the pirate, the strict teacher with an unruly student, or the prison guard with access
to the prisoners of the opposite sex? How about being a police officer? Have you ever wanted your partner to take advantage
of you in a situation over which you have no control? Be pretend-hypnotized or asleep when the burglar invades your bedroom?
Got the idea?

When I asked specifically whether anyone had played pirate, doctor, or prison guard, I got a few new ideas. In addition, one
woman wrote that she had played a French maid, a nurse, a belly dancer, a stripper, and, a new one to me, Santa’s helper.
All delicious scenarios. I also asked how the respondent would react if his or her partner answered the door dressed as a
police officer or a doctor. Lots of folks answered, “Wowee,” or words to that effect. If you’ve never considered it, maybe
it’s time.