Of Love & Regret (26 page)

“Answer me,” Logan
said in a soft but steely voice, ignoring my attempt to diffuse the situation.
“What were you doing with that asshole?”

My desire to be
the voice of reason vanished with his continued aggressiveness. “How do you
know he’s an asshole? And what if he is? I can talk to anyone I want. I can go
home with him tonight and fuck his brains out if I want. It’s none of your
business!”

It was the wrong thing
to say. Logan’s eyes were burning as he took a step closer to me. I had to
fight the urge to step back. I didn’t want him to think I was intimidated by
him, despite my mounting trepidation.

“That’s where
you’re wrong,” he said softly, his eyes trained on me. “Everything you do is my
business.”

“We’re just
friends, remember?” I asked, almost desperately, trying to jar Logan out of
whatever emotion he had gotten caught up in.

“We both know this
just being friends crap is bullshit. I was trying to fool myself into believing
that it was a way to keep you in my life, but the thought of any other man
putting his hands on you makes me crazy. I’m not going to let that happen.”

My mind was a
tumultuous mix of emotions as I tried to absorb his confession, but before I
could form a reply, he closed the space between us and fiercely pressed his
lips against mine.

I knew I should
protest. I knew I should push him away and walk out of the storage room, but my
body wouldn’t cooperate. I felt myself melting into him as a soft moan escaped
me. He was kissing me as if he wanted to devour me, his lips slanting over mine
possessively.

“Open your mouth,”
he growled.

I found myself
automatically obeying his command. His tongue plundered my mouth as his hand
grasped the back of my head, keeping me captive. But I had no plans to try to
escape, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I barely registered Logan turning
me so that my back was against the door. I was too engulfed in passion and
desire to be aware of anything besides his mouth on mine and his hand burrowing
under my shirt. He made a sound of approval deep in his throat when I pushed my
tongue into his mouth to lave against his.

I whimpered when
his hand pushed my bra up and he grabbed a nipple roughly between his fingers.
It was already taut and aching, and his twisting made an arrow of arousal shoot
right between my legs, making me clench my thighs together.

I gasped for air
when he broke the kiss and moved his mouth down my neck. I arched my back,
trying to give him easier access as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses over my
collarbone. He impatiently pushed my shirt up and replaced his fingers with his
mouth, setting my body on fire.

“Logan,” I choked
out, not knowing whether I was saying his name in protest or encouragement. He
took it as the latter and he suckled hard on my nipple, running his tongue back
and forth against it until I thought I would melt into a puddle of pleasure. He
was being much rougher than I ever remembered him being, but instead of putting
me off, it enflamed my desire. I made a sound of approval when he abraded my
aching nipple with his teeth.

I gripped his
shoulders as he shifted to give the same attention to my other engorged bud. My
panties were already soaking wet just from him sucking on my nipples.

Despite our
compromising position, the last thing I expected him to do in a public place
was to take it any further. I was taken completely by surprise when he pushed
his hand underneath my jeans and panties, burrowing deep to stroke my slick,
swollen flesh. The only response I could make was a choking noise as my arousal
went off the charts.

Logan made a sound
of impatience and roughly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, giving him easier
access. I heard myself panting as his finger stroked against my clit, which was
already engorged and throbbing. Logan’s fingers were covered with the evidence
of my arousal, but all I cared about were the sensations rushing through my
body.

“No one else will
ever have this,” Logan muttered, almost to himself. “This belongs to me.”

His words had the
opposite effect of his hands. He spoke about me like I was an inanimate object,
and it put a damper on my desire. It also gave my conscience a chance to rear
its head. What the hell was I doing? We were in the storage room of a bar, and
I doubted there was a lock on the door. Even if there was, I didn’t think Logan
had locked it. Someone could walk in on us at any second. Even worse, Kristina
was out there waiting for us. Not knowing that her boyfriend was busy groping a
supposed friend.

The guilt washed
over me and I grabbed Logan’s wrist to stop him from stroking me.

“We shouldn’t be
doing this,” I gasped. “This is wrong.”

Logan’s eyes
narrowed. “Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying it. I heard all the sounds you
were making. Do I have to remind you that my hand is covered with your wetness
as evidence of how turned on you are?”

I felt myself
flush in embarrassment but I was determined to stop this. “This has nothing to
do with whether I’m enjoying it or not. It has everything to do with this being
wrong. Do I have to remind you that you’re cheating on your girlfriend right
now?” I took a deep breath as I tried to get control of myself. It was hard
when Logan’s hand was still down my pants, although he had stopped stroking me.
“This needs to stop, Logan. We’re on a vicious cycle of self-destruction.”

I cried out when,
in response, Logan pushed two fingers deep inside me. I was wet enough that the
sudden intrusion wasn’t painful, but its unexpectedness made me gasp. I also
couldn’t deny how good it felt and automatically clenched myself around his
fingers.

“This isn’t going
to stop until you come,” Logan rasped as he started to move his fingers in and
out of me as his thumb resumed its assault on my clit. “It isn’t going to stop
until I’m deep inside you, and you beg me to come inside your pussy.”

His words just
made me hotter, and I was helpless as I moved against his hand, feeling my body
consumed with a tension that begged for release. All thoughts of putting a stop
to this disappeared. I didn’t even notice that Logan had pushed my panties and
jeans down to give him easier access. Nothing existed except his fingers roughly
pushing in and out of me as his thumb relentlessly rubbed against my clit. When
he leaned down to kiss me, I grabbed his head, not to push him away but to pull
him towards me so I could devour his mouth. Our kiss was hard and fierce,
almost as if we were battling each other, and I sucked on his tongue as I
imagined doing the same thing to another part of his body.

I didn’t know how
much more I could take. My body was taut, and I strained for the release that
was just beyond my grasp.

“Let go, baby,”
Logan muttered against my mouth. “Let go and come for me.”

His words were my
undoing. He swallowed my cries as my body shuddered violently and the
unbearable tension shattered. I was wracked with wave after wave of pure
pleasure. It seemed to go on and on as Logan kept up the onslaught with his
fingers until the last tremor left my body. I slumped against the door, feeling
weak and drained.

That didn’t stop a
flutter of desire from being reignited when Logan undid his belt and pants and
pushed them down along with his underwear. His erection was an impressive sight,
and suddenly, I felt a restlessness between my legs, even though I had just
been sated.

Logan grabbed my
waist and pulled me towards him, his face harsh with passion. Still, he
hesitated.

“Do you want
this?” he asked in a guttural tone.

Instead of
answering, I grasped his hard length, reveling in the way he groaned when I
stroked it. I guided it to my wet cleft, looking him straight in the eye as I
spoke.

“Fuck me, Logan.
Fuck me until I beg you to come inside me.”

Logan made an
animalistic sound as he pushed the head of his erection inside me. It had been
a long time since I had last had sex, and despite being soaking wet, it was
still a little uncomfortable as he stretched me open. He paused before pushing
in any further, although I knew it was taking everything in him to not just
thrust himself completely inside me. My clawing hunger for him wouldn’t take
any hesitation, and I grabbed his buttocks, pulling him towards me as I
simultaneously pushed down until his shaft was fully sheathed inside me. I
gasped at the sudden sensation, feeling stretched to my limit. Logan growled, and
his hands gripped my hips as he moved inside me. We were both panting and
straining against each other like animals; the only conscious thought in our
heads to finish our mating.

Logan used his
foot to anchor my jeans and panties to the ground so I could step out of them.
I shuddered at how deep he went into me when I wrapped my legs around his
waist. I should have been worried that someone would hear us outside,
especially since my back was slamming rhythmically against the door. But all I
cared about was Logan’s invasion into my body and the growing tension between
my legs.

“Shit. I’m not
going to last long. It feels too damn good.” His voice was hoarse as he
continued to thrust violently inside of me. He was gripping my waist so hard
that I was sure I would have bruises there tomorrow, but right now I didn’t
care.

“Don’t stop,” I
gasped as I strained for my release. “Don’t stop until you come inside me.
Please.”

My words seemed to
enflame him. I didn’t think it was possible, but his thrusts became even more
feverish as he plunged into me over and over again. I couldn’t suppress my
cries as I reached the peak of desire, and my body was wracked in pure pleasure
once again. I felt Logan shudder, and he groaned as he found his own release as
he came inside me.

When the haze of
my desire dissipated, reality came crashing down on me. What had seemed so
passionate moments before now felt tacky and ugly. I lowered my legs and he
slipped out of me. I stepped back, although it took some effort because my legs
felt like they were made out of rubber.

I didn’t look at
Logan as I grabbed my jeans and panties and pulled them back on and readjusted
my shirt and bra. When I finally lifted my head, he had pulled himself together
as well. He was watching me with an inscrutable expression.

“What the hell is
wrong with us?” I finally said wearily. Self-loathing washed over me.

Logan took a step
towards me, but I shook my head, holding my hand up to stop him from getting
any closer. He made a sound of frustration.

“Maddie, it’s
obvious that there’s much more between us than friendship. I can’t tell you how
many times I regretted not giving you another chance when you asked for one a
year ago. But we can make up for it now.”

“What about
Kristina?” I cried out. “Where does she fit into all of this? I can’t be some
slut that you see on the side.”

Logan shook his
head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’ll end things with Kristina.”

That should have
made my heart soar, but instead it left a bitter taste in my mouth. “She left
her life in California to move here with you. She’s in love with you. You’re
okay with telling her that she uprooted her entire life for nothing?” Cassie’s
face flashed across my mind. Was I willing to take another victim for the supposed
love between Logan and me? Why did our feelings for each other have to hurt
other people? I couldn’t help feeling like I was being given another chance to
make things right with Cassie, to make the honorable choice, yet I was going
down the same road of temptation again.

Logan grimaced at
my words. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy. I care about Kristina, but it was a
mistake to have her move here with me. I convinced myself that I could be happy
with her, but the moment I saw you, I knew it was impossible. Don’t think it
hasn’t escaped my attention that I sought out someone who reminded me of you.”

I shook my head at
his confession. He confirmed everything Emily had said about Kristina being so
similar to me, but instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse. She
was being used. We had used Cassie, too. We had used her and her late night
rehearsals as an excuse to constantly be together.

“I don’t want to
hear this,” I said, trying to keep my emotions from spiraling out of control.

Logan saw right
through me. “Is it because of Cassie? This has nothing to do with her. The
situation is totally different.”

“How?” I cried
out. “How is it different? It’s exactly the same! The only thing different is
that I’m going to stop this before we hurt someone again.”

Logan reached for
me but I pulled away before he could touch me. His hand fell limply to his side.
“Maddie, it’s not the same.”

“I need to go.” I
felt raw and desperate, and I needed to get out of there before I became
hysterical. But before I ran away, I had to make sure Logan wouldn’t do
anything rash. “Don’t break up with her, Logan. We’re letting our emotions get
the best of us right now. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“It’s too late. I
already regret so much, but the only thing I don’t regret is being with you.”

“Just promise me
you won’t break up with her. Not until we’re thinking straight.” Panic rose when
Logan didn’t say anything. I knew I was projecting Cassie onto Kristina right
now, but my rational mind couldn’t break through the hysteria that threatened
to overtake me. “Promise me! Please!”

Logan sighed and
rubbed his forehead wearily. “I promise I won’t break up with her until we’ve
had a chance to talk again. That’s it.”

I nodded. It was
enough for now. “Just tell her I’m sick and had to go home.”

I opened the door
to the storage room and made a beeline to the entrance of the bar. I wasn’t
surprised that no one had heard us since the bar was so noisy, but a worker
could have walked in on us at any time.