Pulse - Part Four (The Pulse Series) (5 page)

"Did you meet him when he tried to fuck you?" I expect her to choke on that bite of soft pretzel she just took. Lucky for her I have medical training. I'll save her depending on how truthful she's going to be.

"Who?" She chews as she throws me a quick glance. "The pretzel guy? He didn't try and fuck me. He winks at everyone who gives him a tip."

"Nathan." I don’t want this conversation to go on any longer than it needs to. I'd already packed most of my things this morning even though I had no idea where I'd live. On my measly salary, the options in Manhattan are limited to a cardboard box or a closet.

"What?" A one word response isn't going to cut it.

"He told me last night." I look off into the distance. This is the same bench where Nathan and I sat weeks ago when he told me he couldn't stand the idea of missing me. I thought back then that everything between us would be simple and fun. Now, everything had turned horrible and painful in an instant.

"What?" Again? Really? We're not going to get anywhere if she can't expand her vocabulary.

"He asked you to report on me." I practiced saying that over and over again all morning. "That's why he always knew where I was."

"He's lying." Finally, more than one word pops out of her. The panicked look on her face is all the confirmation I need.

"He's not." I can't look in her in the face. "He showed me some of the texts you sent him when we were at the movies. You told him I was going to take you to that bar so he went there with his friend."

"Shit." The pretzel falls from her hands onto the grass. "Jess, I'm sorry."

"You took me to that hotel room for a reason, didn't you?" I ask in an even tone. It's nagged me since that day. I've always wondered why she was so righteous as she pulled me into that elevator and up to the eighteenth floor so she could watch me fall to pieces once I realized he still had the room.

"I don’t trust him." The words aren't meant to be tempered. She's simply telling it like it is. "He used to date Cassandra."

I laugh at the announcement. "I know." I've been trying to shelter her from that tidbit of information for weeks and now she's telling me that she knew all along? What happened to the honesty in our friendship?

"That's where I met him." She turns to face me directly now. "I saw him in her office one day. I introduced myself."

"Why didn't you bother to tell me that when I first went up to his hotel suite?" The question is rhetorical at this point. It wouldn’t have changed a thing. I wanted him then. I want him now. As much as I know I shouldn't, I can't help what I feel.

"She told me that morning that they were on a break." She reaches past me to grab hold of the back of the bench. "When I saw him at the club, I knew it was over for him. I knew he was going to end it completely with her."

"So there was nothing to hold you back from telling me?" I push the issue. She could have simply told me he was still in a relationship with her boss.

"I wanted him but he never wanted me." Her voice cracks with the confession. "I came on to him once and he very politely told me he wasn't interested."

I feel a slight pang of jealousy at the admission. Of course she would have tried to get him in her bed. Any woman would have given the way he looked. How could I blame her for that? I was all over him the first moment I saw him at the bar.

"I started it when I texted him that we would be going for lunch and meeting Bryce." She taps her finger behind my back. "I couldn't believe he was there with that chick. I thought he'd be alone."

"You told him we would be there? Why?" I stare down at my skirt, tracing my finger along the bright pattern.

"I still thought I'd have a chance with him." She shrugs. "I thought he'd see you with Bryce and think you were taken and I'd have my opening."

"That's why you went to pay the check?" I feel as though everything is falling into place. "You left us alone."

"He only ever wanted you." I feel her hand on my hair, pulling it back.

"You still want him." It's not a question. I don't need to ask that. It's more an observation. She obviously has been trying to get me to doubt Nathan. That's why she told him about my date with Drew and let him know when we went to the other club that one night. 

She shakes her head slightly. "Not anymore. He's so hung up on you, Jess."

"So why help him?" I'm half-expecting her to tell me that he's paying her. Men like Nathan Moore can pay for whatever they want. Money means nothing to him.

"I love you." She runs her hand along my shoulder. "You're my best friend. I knew Drew was bad news. I just gave Nate a heads-up whenever I saw Drew around you. "

"That night at the bar you pushed me to go talk to Drew." It's open-ended on purpose. I want her to fill in the blanks so it can finally make sense to me.

"I knew Fingers was there…" she stops herself. "Or at least coming there. I told him where we were going. I wanted him to see you with Drew so he'd finally tell him to fuck off for good."

"You're serious?" I ask, not expecting anything in return. I can't help but doubt her motivations.

"I've never seen you as happy as you are when you're talking about him, Jess." She pulls her gaze down to her own lap. "I just want you to be happy."

That's easier said than done. There's one only person that truly makes me happy and he's the one man I keep trying desperately to avoid.

"Christ, Jessica. Please." His voice rumbles through the room, bouncing off the walls. "Don't make me give this up."

"It means nothing." I clench my sex around his cock. "It's just a fuck."

"It's not." He pumps slowly, his hands gripping mine, pushing them into the bed. "You know it's not."

"Fuck me, harder." I'm almost begging. "Please make me come."

"I'm going to lick you again." He starts to pull back and I feel the tip of his cock slide over my folds.
"No," I scream the word into his mouth. "No more." I'd already come twice beneath his tongue and now all I wanted to do is feel him inside of me. I'd shown up on his doorstep and jumped into his arms without a word. Now, thirty minutes later, I'm sprawled out naked in his bed, my clothes littering a path down the hallway.

"Fuck," he grunts as he pushes himself balls deep into my body. "I love fucking this sweet, little body."

I slap him hard across the face and he stalls for just a second. "Goddamn it." The words escape his lips with a smile.

"Don't say that about me again," I moan. "Don’t."

"Christ, I'm so close." He's pumping harder now, thrusting himself into me. It's deeper and deeper with every stroke.

"Slow down," I beg. "I want it to last."

He slides his hand under my ass and effortlessly pulls us over in one swift movement so I'm now on top of him.  "Fuck me, Jessica."

I lean back and glide my body so his cock slides to its full depth over and over again. The sensation is painfully slow and agonizingly delicious. "Like that?"

"Tell me you love this," he whispers.

"No." I pull him from my body and grip his cock with my fist. I pull it across my clit before I push myself back onto it. "I won't tell you that."

"Tell me how it feels when I'm fucking you."

"You talk too much," I whimper as I feel myself reaching the edge again. "Shut up."

"How can you ever fuck another man?" He circles his hips off the bed and the sensation pulls at my core. He knows exactly how to make me come. He knows exactly what my body craves. He's the only man who has ever done that. "You'll never feel like this with anyone else."

"I came here just for this." I close my eyes, warding off all of the emotions I'm feeling. We're so connected like this. When he's inside of me, nothing else in the universe matters.

"You came here because you need me." He grabs my hips and pulls me down onto his cock.

I can't help but moan loudly. My body betrays me when he's touching me. I can't hide the desire. It's palpable. He senses it because it screams his name the same way I do when I'm on the verge of coming hard. "I want to come." It's bold, direct and honest.

"I'll make you come. Lean forward. I'm going to fuck you hard, Jessica."

I plunge forward at the promise and slide my lips over his. I taste my sweetness on his tongue. "Do it," I challenge.

He pulls on my ass as he sits up with me on his lap, his cock still buried within me. "Feel it." He bites my lip as he pushes up with his hips, slowly sliding his cock deeper and then pulling back until the head almost slides between my folds. The sensation is overwhelming. I can feel the edge of my orgasm right there.

"Nathan." His name slides from my tongue into his mouth. "Nathan."

"Take it sweet, Jessica." He rests his lips against mine as I come hard. "Take it."

"That was a mistake." I get on my hands and knees to look for my stiletto. "Why did I come here?"

"Stay right there and I'll nail you again in about a minute."

I look up to the sight of him fully nude, his heavy, thick cock resting in his palm. "Are you actually jerking off right now?"

"No." He shakes his head as he steps farther apart, making his frame that much more imposing. "I'm getting ready to fuck you again."

"We can't do that again." There's absolutely no conviction in my tone. My eyes don't stray from his massive cock, which has now sprung right back to life.

"Jessica." A heavy sigh escapes through his moist lips. "Look what you do to me."

I lick my bottom lip as I cast my gaze from his face right back to his dick. "Nathan, we can't do it again."

"Jesus, I'm so hard." He pulls his large hand over the head of his cock as I stare open-mouthed at it. "I can't get enough of you. I never will."

I pull myself back to my knees. One more time can't hurt, can it? It won't matter if I take that big, beautiful cock between my lips now and slide my tongue over the wide head and…

"Oh fuck, me." The words tumble from him as I slide my mouth over him in one single movement.

I nod, before reaching up to cup his balls in one hand while I circle the thick root with the other. I feel my eyes roll back in my head at the sensation of his cock in my mouth again.

"Jessica. Christ, please." His hands jump to my hair. I wince as he pulls hard on the strands, fisting them as I slide my mouth steadily up and down. "Suck it. You suck me so good."

I rally back on my heels as I hear the words. "Yes," I whisper around the girth.

"You want this," he challenges. "You've always wanted this."

He's right. I can't argue with him. I want to feel him in my mouth and on my tongue. I want him to take pleasure from my body. I want him to feel everything I'm giving to him now.

"I'm going to shoot my load down your throat. I'm going to fill you with it." He's pumping harder now, his cock touching the back of my throat with every thrust. I have to adjust my knees to give myself more traction. It's so much. It's too much. It's way too fucking good.

"Jessica. That's it." His hands pull hard on my head, guiding it, adjusting it to take all of him in. "Suck it like that."

I moan around the root as I feel his balls constrict in my hand. I brace myself. He's going to come. He's going to come for me now.

"Fuck, yes. Fuck." The words are loud, clipped and breathless as he pumps everything he has into my body.

"I can't come back here." I don't mean it. It's what I should say though, right? He's too controlling, too demanding, too manipulating and too appealing when he's standing naked in front of me.

"Did you find your shoe?" He reaches his hand out to grasp mine. "I think it fell under the bed."

I place my hand in his as he pulls me and my wayward shoe up. "It's here."

He grabs it quickly and tosses it back under the bed. "You need to get back on your hands and knees and look for it."

I cock a brow and look down at his once again erect cock. "How? Just how, Nathan?"

"How what?" He pulls a smile across his delicious lips.

"How can you be hard again already?" I kneel back down to retrieve my shoe yet again. "How many times in a row can you actually fuck a woman?"

"Any other woman, once." He takes my shoe from me and kneels down. "You, endlessly."

"Don't be charming." I rest my hand on the back of his head as he slides my foot into the shoe. "I can't be mad at you when you're charming."

"Are you wet again?" His hands are on my thighs, pushing the hem of my shift dress up. "I want to taste you again before you leave."

"Nathan, no." I push helplessly at his hands. "We can't."

"Do you mean, no, Nathan stop and don't lick my beautiful body until I come?" He grazes his tongue over my thigh. "Or do you mean, Nathan, don't stop until I come over and over again from you licking me?"

I close my eyes as my hands lace through his hair. "Nathan," I whisper. "Please."

He moans loudly as his tongue traces hot over my panties before he pushes them aside and plunges his face into my wetness.

***

"You're actually leaving this time?" The amusement skirting the edge of the question isn't lost on me.

"I need to go." I take a few steps back to try and create a barrier between us. "Don't you have clothes you can put on?" I search the ground for the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing when I arrived.

"I'll get dressed and I can go with you." He races towards his closet to pull out a pair of navy pants and a light blue dress shirt. "Formal, semi-formal? Where are we going?"

"I'm going to look at places to live." I pull my hair back into a hastily thrown together ponytail. "You're staying here."

He drops the clothes in his hands to the floor and bolts towards me. "Wait. You're doing what?"

"I can't live with Rebecca anymore." I breathe in heavily as I continue, "I feel weird about it and she gives you status updates when I'm brushing my teeth and eating a sandwich."

"Only when you leave the crust behind," he jokes. "We're not doing that anymore. You don't have to move out of there."

"I don't trust her," I say it with regret. I don't. Our relationship is on shaky ground right now and it's important to me that we salvage it. I can't do that if I'm living with her.

"I think you should reconsider." His hand rests on my elbow. "She's a good friend."

"A good friend wouldn’t have convinced me to sneak into your hotel room that night."

"What do you mean?" His brow furrows. "She told you to go into my suite that night?"

I can't place all the blame on her. "Not exactly," I qualify it. "She said something about you fucking every woman in the place and that made me want to go see if you still had the room."

"Jessica." He pulls my head into his chest and cradles my body next to his. "You've got to get it through your head that I'm crazy about you."

I nod against his skin, relishing in the smell of him and the feel of his strong, steely chest against me. As much as I doubt his sincerity, there's just something so raw and real about his words when he's telling me how much he cares for me.

"I've fucked up your friendship." He pulls me back so he can look directly into my eyes. "Let me fix it. I can fix it."

I reach to cradle his cheek in my hand. "I need to move out. I want to." I can't continue anything with Nathan if I live with Rebecca. I don't know how I can deal with the two of them in the same room together.

"Move in here." He takes a step back and almost jumps up and down. "You can come live with me."

"That's a horrible idea," I smirk. "Really, really horrible."

"Why?"

"Are you seriously asking me why it's a bad idea for me to live here?" How is he a lawyer when he can't understand something this simple? Does he not understand that I don't trust him at all?

"I love you. You should live with me." The words are thoughtful and direct but they bite right into me like a rabid dog.

"I don't trust you," I say boldly. "I don't trust anything you say to me."

"What?" His hands jump to his chest as if I've thrown a dagger into his heart. "You don't trust me?"

I want to reach out and shake him. Maybe he's missing the common sense gene. That would explain a lot about him.  "No, I don't." Why beat around the bush? I don't trust him. I see no reason to skirt around the issue.

"You came over here today," he says hoarsely. "We made love."

I have to take a step back when I hear the words. He's never, once, ever said that we make love. "We made love?" I parrot back to him.

"Do you fucking have short term memory loss, Jessica?" He points to the bed. "We've spent the past three hours naked together."

"We fucked." The word sounds harsh. "We just fucked, that's all."

He stalls and his eyes scan my face. "It meant nothing but a fuck to you?" His eyes squint and move past my face to the wall behind me. He's grabbing tightly to his chest as if he's holding back something.

"That's all it was." I shrug my shoulder. "I was horny. I wanted you to fuck me. Nothing else has changed."