Quitting (previously published as Mastering the Art of Quitting) (28 page)

As Timothy D. Wilson writes:
Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious
(Cambridge, MA: Belknap Press of Harvard University, 2002), 140.

“Though I had a million things to do”:
Stephenie Meyer, official Web site, “Bio,” accessed 16 June 2013,
www.stepheniemeyer.com/bio.html
.

Psychologists Gabriele Oettingen and Doris Mayer distinguish between:
Gabriele Oettingen and Doris Mayer, “The Motivating Function of Thinking About the Future: Expectations Versus Fantasies,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
83, no. 5 (2002): 1,198–1,212.

One experiment by Oettingen and her colleagues:
Gabriele Oettingen, Hyeon-ju Pak, and Karoline Schnetter, “Self-Regulation of Goal-Setting: Turning Free Fantasies About the Future into Binding Goals,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
80, no. 5 (2001): 736–753.

Chapter Four: A Talent for Quitting

Studies show that while persistence is valuable:
Charles S. Carver and Michael F. Scheier, “Scaling Back Goals and Recalibration of the Affect Systems Are Processes in Normal Adaptive Self-Regulation: Understanding the ‘Response-Shift' Phenomena,”
Social Science and Medicine
50 (2000): 1,715–1,722; Carsten Wrosch et al., “Adaptive Self-Regulation of Unattainable Goals: Goal Disengagement, Goal Reengagement, and Subjective Well-Being,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
29, no. 12 (December 2003):1,494–1,508. For whether quitting can improve your health, see Carsten Wrosch, Gregory E. Miller, Michael F. Scheier, and Stephanie Brun de Pontet, “Giving Up on Unattainable Goals: Benefits for Health?”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
33, no. 2 (February 2007): 251–265. For how not quitting can also literally make you sick, see Gregory E. Miller and Carsten Wrosch, “You've Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em: Goal Disengagement and Systemic Inflammation in Adolescence,”
Psychological Science
18, no. 9 (2007): 773–777.

one perspective has been suggested by Andrew J. Elliot and Todd M. Thrash:
Andrew J. Elliot and Todd M. Thrash, “Approach
and Avoidance Temperament As Basic Dimensions of Personality,”
Journal of Personality
76, no. 3 (June 2010): 865–906.

Andrew J. Elliot and Harry T. Reis suggest:
Andrew J. Elliot and Harry T. Reis, “Attachment and Exploration in Adulthood,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
85, no. 2 (2003): 317–331.

Attachment theory grew out of a series:
Mary Ainsworth,
Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation
(Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1978).

fascinating experiment called the
visual cliff
:
The original study measured depth perception in infants. E. J. Gibson and R. D. Walk, “The Visual Cliff,”
Scientific American
202, no. 4 (1960): 67–71.

visual cliff experiment conducted by James F. Sorce and others:
James F. Sorce, Robert N. Emde, Joseph Campos, and Mary D. Klinnert, “Maternal Emotional Signaling: Its Effect on the Visual Cliff Behavior of 1-Year-Olds,”
Developmental Psychology
21, no. 1 (1985): 195–200.

Elliot and Ries hypothesized:
Elliot and Ries, “Attachment and Exploration,” 319.

An in-depth analysis by Philip R. Shaver and Mario Mikulincer:
Philip R. Shaver and Mario Mikulincer, “Attachment-Related Psychodynamics,”
Attachment and Human Development
4 (2002): 133–161.

A study by Heather C. Lench and Linda J. Levine:
Heather C. Lench and Linda J. Levine, “Goals and Responses to Failure: Knowing When to Hold Them and When to Fold Them,”
Motivation and Emotion
32 (2008): 127–140.

“Ironically,” the authors explain, “their focus on avoiding”:
Ibid., 137.

“Counterintuitively, people who focused on the potential failure”:
Ibid., 139.

A fascinating study by Elliot and Thrash:
Andrew J. Elliot and Todd M. Thrash, “The Intergenerational Transmission of Fear of Failure,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
30, no. 8 (August 2004): 957–971.

“failure per se that is feared”:
Ibid., 958.

“Most who use it are simply”:
Ibid., 959.

in a study of patients in therapy:
Andrew J. Elliot and Marcy A. Church. “Client-Articulated Avoidance Goals in the Therapy Context,”
Journal of Counseling Psychology
49, no. 2 (2002): 243–254.

Some examples from the study make the difference clear:
Ibid., table, 244.

If, as Carsten Wrosch and others argue:
Carsten Wrosch, Michael F. Scheier, Charles S. Carver, and Richard Schulz, “The Importance of Goal Disengagement in Adaptive Self-Regulation: When Giving Up Is Beneficial,”
Self and Identity
2 (2003): 1–
20.

psychological theory called
personality
systems
interactions
:
Nicola Baumann and Julius Kuhl, “Intuition, Affect, and Personality: Unconscious Coherence Judgments and Self-Regulation of Negative Affect,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
83, no. 5 (2002): 1,213–1,225; Nicola Baumann and Julius Kuhl, “Self-Infiltration: Confusing Tasks As Self-Selected in Memory,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
29, no. 4 (April 2003): 487–497; Sander L. Koole, Julius Kuhl, Nils B. Jostmann, and Kathleen D. Vohs, “On the Hidden Benefits of State Orientation: Can People Prosper Without Efficient Affect-Regulation Skills?” in
Building, Defending, and Regulating the Self
, ed. Abraham Tesser, Joanne Woods, and Diederik Stapel (New York: Psychology Press, 2005), 217–244; Nils B. Jostmann and Sander L. Koole, “When Persistence Is Futile: A Functional Analysis of Action Orientation and Goal Disengagement,” in
The Psychology of Goals
,
ed. Gordon B. Moskowitz and Heidi Grant (New York: Guilford Press, 2009), 337–361. See also Nils B. Jostmann, Sander L. Koole, Nickie Y. Van Der Wulp, and Daniel A. Fockenberg, “Subliminal Affect Regulation: The Moderating Role of Action versus State Orientation,”
European Psychologist
10, no. 3 (2005): 209–217.

As James M. Diefendorff and others have noted:
James M. Diefendorff, Rosallie J. Hall, Robert G. Ord, and Mona L. Strean, “Action-State Orientation: Construct Validity of a Revised Measure and Its Relationship to Work-Related Variables,”
Journal of Applied Psychology
85, no. 2 (2000): 250.

When action and state orientations are measured:
Julius Kuhl's scale is shown in Nils B. Jostmann and Sander L. Koole, “When Persistence Is Futile,” in
The Psychology of Goals
, ed. Gordon B.
Moskowitz and Heidi Grant (New York: Guilford Press, 2009). The examples used here on shown on page 345.

These orientations appear to be shaped:
Sander L. Koole, Julius Kuhl, Nils B. Jostmann, and Catrin Finkenauer, “Self-Regulation in Interpersonal Relationships: The Case of Action Versus State Orientation,” in
Self and Relationship
, ed. Kathleen D. Vohs and E. J. Finkel (New York and London: Guilford Press, 2006), 360–386.

An experiment conducted by researchers in Amsterdam:
Sander L. Koole and Nils B. Jostmann, “Getting a Grip on Your Feelings: Effects of Action Orientation on Intuitive Affect Regulation,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
87, no. 6 (2004): 974–990.

their orientation can stand them in good stead:
James M. Diefendorff, “Examination of the Roles of Action-State Orientation and Goal Orientation in the Goal-Setting and Performance Process,”
Human Performance
17, no. 4 (2004): 375–395.

A series of experiments by Sander L. Koole and David A. Fockenberg:
Sander L. Koole and Daniel A. Fockenberg, “Implicit Emotional Regulation Under Demanding Conditions: The Mediating Role of Action Versus State Orientation,”
Cognition and Emotion
25, no. 3 (2011): 440–452.

Chapter Five: Managing Thoughts and Emotions

what John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey have called
emotional intelligence
:
John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey, “What Is Emotional Intelligence?” in
Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence
, ed. Peter Salovey and D. J. Sluyter (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 3–31.

Daniel Goleman's enormously popular and culturally influential book:
Daniel Goleman,
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ
(New York: Bantam Books, 1994).

but they have publicly disavowed:
John D. Mayer, Peter Salovey, and David R. Caruso, “Emotional Intelligence: New Ability or Eclectic Traits?”
American Psychologist
65, no. 7 (September 2008): 515.

“the ability to perceive emotions”:
Mayer and Salovey, “What Is Emotional Intelligence?” 5. The levels of emotional intelligence described here are based on their chapter, and the phrases used to describe the levels are drawn from their table 1.1.

Because all of this happens in early childhood:
Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell,
Parenting from the Inside Out
(New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin: 2003), 203–205.

A study by Lisa Feldman Barrett and others:
Lisa Feldman Barrett, James Gross, Tamlin Conner Christensen, and Michael Benvenuto, “Knowing What You're Feeling and Knowing What to Do About It: Mapping the Relation Between Emotion Differentiation and Emotion Regulation,”
Cognition and Emotion
15, no. 6 (2001): 713–724.

The Marshmallow and Yo
u:
Yuichi Shoda, Walter Mischel, and Philip K. Peake, “Predicting Adolescent Cognitive and Self-Regulatory Competencies from Preschool Delay of Gratification: Identifying Diagnostic Conditions,”
Developmental Psychology
16, no. 6 (1990): 978–986.

The researchers concluded:
Ibid., 985.

women are more likely to ruminate than men:
Lisa D. Butler and Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, “Gender Differences in Response to Depressed Mood in a College Sample,”
Sex Roles
30, no. 5–6 (1994): 331–346.

Studies show that mothers tend to teach their male infants:
Katherine M. Weinberg, Edward Z. Tronick, Jeffrey F. Cohn, and Karen L. Olson, “Gender Differences in Emotional Expressivity and Self-Regulation During Early Infancy,”
Developmental Psychology
35 (1999): 175–188.

In addition, mothers talk to daughters:
Robyn Fivush, “Exploring Sex Differences in the Emotional Context of Mother-Child Conversations About the Past,”
Sex Roles
20, no. 11–12 (1989): 675–695.

Nolen-Hoeksema and Benita Jackson:
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and Benita Jackson, “Mediators of the Gender Difference in Rumination,”
Psychology of Women Quarterly
25 (2001): 37–47.

“Setting Free the Bears”:
Daniel M. Wegner, “Setting Free the Bears: Escape from Thought Suppression,”
American Psychologist
(November 2011): 671–679.

Chapter Six: Taking Stock

Did You See the Gorilla?:
Christopher Chabris and Daniel J. Simons,
The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us
(New
York: Broadway Paperbacks, 2011); Daniel J. Simons and Christopher Chabris, “Gorillas in Our Midst: Sustained Inattention Blindness,”
Perception
28 (1999): 1,059–1,074.

One of the researchers, Simons:
Daniel J. Simons and Daniel T. Lewin, “Failure to Detect Changes to People During a Real-World Interaction,”
Psychonomic Bulletin and Review
5, no. 4 (1998): 644–649.

in a follow-up experiment by Daniel T. Levin:
Daniel T. Levin, Nausheen Momek, Sarah B. Drivdahl, and Daniel J. Simons, “Change Blindness Blindness: The Metacognitive Error of Overestimating Change-Detection Ability,”
Visual Cognition
7, no. 1–3 (2000): 397–412.

“Goals Gone Wild”:
Lisa D. Ordóñez, Maurice E. Schweitzer, Adam D. Galinsky, and Max H. Bazerman, “Goals Gone Wild: The Systematic Side Effects of Over-Prescribing Goal Setting,” Working Paper 09-083, Harvard Business School, Boston.

an important summary by Edwin A. Locke and Gary P. Latham:
Edwin A. Locke and Gary P. Latham, “New Directions in Goal-Setting Theory,”
Current Directions in Psychological Science
15, no. 5 (October 2006): 265–268.

MBAs who embraced broader learning goals:
Ibid., 266.

Numerous studies, including one by Anat Drach-Zahavy:
Anat Drach-Zahavy and Miriam Erez, “Challenge Versus Threat Effects on the Goal Performance Relationship,”
Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Process
88 (2002): 667–682.

the short and long of the Pinto story:
Ordóñez et al., “Goals Gone Wild,” 4.

The Pinto is only one of several examples:
Ibid., 10–11.

The rejoinder to “Goals Gone Wild”:
Edwin A. Locke and Gary P. Latham, “Has Goal Setting Gone Wild, or Have Its Attackers Abandoned Good Scholarship?”
Academy of Management Perspectives
23, no. 1 (2009): 27–23. See also the spirited answer to the accusation: Lisa D. Ordóñez, Maurice E. Schweitzer, Adam D. Galinsky, and Max H. Bazer, “On Good Scholarship, Goal Setting and Scholars Gone Wild,” Working Paper 09-122, Harvard Business School, Boston.