Reckless Mind (9 page)

Most of the eyes in the room shifted their attention to me a second time in a half hour since I arrived. I wanted to go home now, so I made my way to the front door, but fingertips circled my wrist gently. When I turned around Brandon's eyes were pleading with me not to leave. He nodded his head to go down the hall, so I started making my way toward the bedrooms. As I started to pass a door on the left he stopped a little behind me and opened the door, holding it so I could walk through first.

Brandon quietly shut the door behind him, and came to stand in front of me. His fingers trailed up my arms, and he collected my hair and pushed it back off my shoulders, eyes examining every inch of skin he saw. “Where did he touch you?” His eyes still weren't looking in mine, and I didn't trust my voice to work so I just pointed to my wrist, my back, and my hips. As he lifted my wrist he brought me a little closer to him, and then his lips trailed over the red marks dusting my skin.

Those lips felt like they ignited a fire where they touched, and I wanted more. Brandon slowly circled me until he was standing behind me, and he carefully lifted my shirt up just a little, I assumed to look at my lower back, but everything must have seemed fine back there because he came full circle and was back in front of me.

The warmth of his hands were at my sides, and for the first time since we got into his room he looked into my eyes, but it felt like he looked into my soul. I knew he saw me, and I mean really saw me for who I was. He may not know all the sordid details of my growing up, but he knew I had issues, knew I was less than perfect, and definitely not whole. But those warm fingers moved the bottom of my shirt up slowly.

A growl from deep within his chest came out as his eyes dropped to my hips. The pads of his thumbs brushed over my skin, and my heart started to beat quicker. Brandon squatted down in front of me and he let his lips trail over the marks he saw. A small moan escaped my lips, and my hand threaded through his hair. The tip of his tongue trailed along the front of my stomach, and I thought for sure my knees were going to give out, but as his lips descended on my other hip he wrapped an arm tighter around me like he knew.

His name left my lips on a moan, and I felt his teeth drag lightly across my skin. A yearning I didn't know was possible started building deep down, and I didn't want him to stop. He began to stand, and put my shirt back down in place. Brandon ran the tip of his nose up my jaw to just below my ear, and I felt him breathing me in deep.

“I'm sorry he put his hands on you,” he whispered into my ear before placing a gentle kiss on my neck, turning around, and walking out of his room leaving me there to think about how his hands, his lips and tongue, how he had just made me feel touching my body.

Chapter 7

I gave myself a few minutes in Brandon's room, my fingertips trailing over every place his lips touched, and a smile crept up on my lips. I moved to open the door to his room and leave, but my mind had another plan for me.

“Come here baby, don't leave yet.” My hand was on the door, I had been sure this client of Chuck's had passed out from the shots I gave him when we first went into the spare bedroom.

“I wasn't leaving, just checking the lock.” I said low and seductive. Turning to look at him I could see he was barely keeping his eyes open, but they were open nonetheless and they raked over my body in anticipation. He stood and walked over to where I stood, shifting me he pressed my back up against the door. His knees moved mine apart, and his hand began to run a path on the inside of my thigh to my underwear line, which he began to shift back. His dirty child molesting fingers started to move around, but not in me.

I grabbed the lamp, screaming I smashed him over the head with it, and he slid to the ground.

There was an awful wailing sound surrounding me, and my hands were already covering my ears. It was me. This was part of the full blow meltdown. I hit myself in the side of the head trying to dislodge the images that reared there, but it just wasn't working and I couldn't stop screaming.

Balling my fist up in the rage coming after that flashback, I slammed my fist into the door. I needed a way to expel the negative energy, needed to get it out of me, and immediately I wailed because of the pain shooting through my hand from hitting the door. I turned around, my back sliding down the door, and I sat. I didn't move until my mind left the past returning to what was happening right now. It came back to Brandon.

Something had shifted between us, and I wanted to find him so I could talk to him, get to know him. He needed to get to know me before I told him who I used to be, or who they forced me to be anyway. I just wanted him to know
me
.

My eyes scanned, and my hands shook slightly coming dow from the adrenaline, as I walked down the hallway, but Emma was in front of me before I got very far. “Were you just in Brandon's room with him?” She looked concerned which didn't make sense considering she'd seemed happy earlier once those girls got kicked out of the party. I'm sure her mind was working about what we could have possibly been doing back there alone, and maybe she didn't like it. I smiled and gave her a small nod, trying to move around her to head out into the living room, but she stayed planted in front of me.

She started asking me if I was okay, what I wanted to drink, telling me she wanted to walk around with me and introduce me to the people she knew. It was a stalling mechanism, though there was no reason I could come up with as to why she did it, not until I finally got around her and made my way into the kitchen where I could clearly see the living room.

Brandon was with some short, curvy brunette, as she sat in his lap her lips looked like they were permanently attached to his neck. Instantly I felt the lasagna from dinner trying to make its way back up. Turning I looked back at Emma, her eyes were so sad and apologetic. When I went to look back where he was sitting Jax came into my eye line.

“Hey, Kahlen. Sorry about Josh, he's a horny asshole. I should've been paying more attention, obviously anyone that looks like you is going to attract a lot of attention especially around a bunch of guys who have never seen you before.” He shrugged looking a little shy as he said it.

“Um, thanks, I think.” I tried to lean around him to get a look at the damn slut sucking on Brandon, but Jax shifted with me easily. I was getting frustrated. Clearly he and Emma had a conversation when I was in the room with Brandon, or maybe Brandon came out and gloated to Jax before moving on to his next conquest. Either way I didn't know. But I wasn't his girlfriend and I had no right to be mad at him, but I was.

What happened in the room was moving too fast, I needed to remember I wanted him to know me, not just let him use me like he was using the girl on his lap. He would need to prove to me he wanted a friendship with me before I ever let him touch me again. But in the meantime I couldn't get mad at him when he decided he needed to screw whatever tramp happened to be available to him at the time.

Brandon was gorgeous. I'm talking tall, dark, handsome, and then some. His eyes were like honey you could drown in, his body was ridiculously hard yet when he held me in his arms it was the softest embrace I'd ever felt, his lips, oh man that mouth, and the crooked smirk I'd seen just a couple times, such a turn on. It didn't surprise me other women were trying to do that and more than likely succeeding at it.

“Jax, please. I just want to go to my apartment. I'm just around the corner and can walk there by myself no problem, okay? You and Emma seem to think I'm going to make a scene, but I assure you I'm not. Brandon is...well, he's free to do what he wants with whomever he wants and he knows that, so do I. We aren't really even friends, he can't have a conversation with me without walking away from me. It's cool, really, I'm fine.” I smiled at Jax willing him to understand I was fine. Walking home, even though it was just around the corner, I was a little worried about considering what had happened with Josh earlier, but was sure I could manage.

“You sure?” I nodded, and he nodded back knowingly. “Let me get one of the guys to walk you home. Yo, Cole!” He motioned someone over with his head, but only being five five I couldn't see around him at who was walking our way which was unfortunate because I could have used a minute to just stare at him and collect myself before he was standing next to Jax. Doing their man-shake, Cole asked what was up and Jax shifted his attention to me.

If Jax was too cute, Cole was downright edible. He was tall, maybe an inch or so more than Jax, which must put him around six one or six two, and he had slightly more muscle built up on him than Jax and Brandon did. A plain black v-neck tshirt that looked like holes were strategically placed on it to make it look cool, kind of like the shirt I was wearing, fit him perfectly and showed off what looked to be wings on either side of his chest. I couldn't see the whole thing, but I thought maybe they were sparrow tattoos.

His jeans were held up, but barely, by a black belt and if he was to raise his arms even a little I would be able to see what I was sure was a pretty damn impressive stomach going on. His boots were semi laced and not tied, he had a couple silver bracelets on, and more tattoos running up his arm. I couldn't make all of them out, but one looked like a guitar with lyrics wrapping around his forearm.

Cole had eyes that looked like green mist, almost a haunting look to them, and thick dark long eyelashes. Right now his full lips were tipped up at the corners as he watched me watch him, and he ran his hand through his mess of a head of hair. The sides were cut shorter and closer to his head, the top left longer and right now it looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. A bed where he was just royally fucked.

Damn he was good looking, but the kind of good looking that would get you into real trouble. I turned around to tell Emma good bye and found her almost right next to me. “Hey, I'm going to head out, Jax asked Cole to walk me to my place so I didn't have to go alone. You're more than welcome to crash at my place if you want, just text me before you head over and I'll open up for you.”

“No, please don't go Kahlen. Look, forget about Brandon okay? This is just how he is, it's what he does,” but I put my finger up to her lips to stop her from talking. I didn't want anyone telling me how Brandon was, I wanted to come up with my own opinions about him. Right now nothing had changed...I wanted to be friends with him, get to know him and him me. Unfortunately it just didn't seem like he really felt the same. Shaking my head at her she stopped talking about her brother. “Please don't leave yet.” She gave me her best pouty lip, but truth be told this wasn't my thing. From the blonde at the door, to Casanova, to Brandon...I just needed to call it a night.

I shook my head at her and turned back around to face Jax and Cole. Jax did quick introductions, and then he and Emma went off into the crowd of people as I made my way for the door. Cole gently placed his hand on the bottom of my back, and I instantly tensed, but told myself he was helping me get through the crowd of partiers safely.

Once we were out of the apartment, and the noise had died down some, I looked up at Cole and smiled. “Thanks for walking me home, Cole.” He returned my smile and nodded. Trying for small talk, since I hadn't gotten anything out of Brandon, “So how do you know Brandon and Jax?”

“We all play in a band together, well we used to play a lot more than we do now, but we still get together twice a week to work on new stuff or do a show over the weekend. No big deal, we all have our regular lives and jobs and all, but it's something we all love doing and have since we all met here our freshman year.” He stepped a little closer to me as we continued to walk to my building.

“It's just the three of you in the band?” I was so proud of myself for having this conversation without completely freaking out. Cole nodded and told me Jax played drums, he played bass and guitar, and Brandon sang and played guitar. I thought I was only mentally laughing, but I guess not since he asked me what was so funny. “Have you ever heard Emma sing? I just think it's funny he has a good enough voice to be the lead singer of a band and she was stuck with...well,
that
singing voice.” I continued to laugh and Cole joined in this time.

We made our way up the stairs and stopped outside my door. I thanked him for walking me home, and was actually glad for the two minutes of conversation that came easily between us. He invited me to come to their practice during the week, and I told him if I wasn't working I would try. He asked for my number so he could text me directions if I decided I could come.

I wasn't sure about giving him my number, but then I thought about how Emma's group of friends would be my group of friends slowly but surely anyway and I didn't see anything wrong with it. Cole made me smile so he could take my picture so when I called my face would pop up in his phone. He asked if I'd done the campus tour yet, and I told him how Emma and I didn't really pay attention during orientation, but I thought I'd been figuring it out pretty well these last couple weeks.

“Why don't I come by tomorrow afternoon and I can walk around campus with you? I can show you all the cool shortcuts to get to your classes faster,” he seemed genuine with his offer and I didn't see what the harm in having him help me would be, so I thanked him and told him to call me tomorrow when he was free. “I'll see you tomorrow then?” His dimple was so charming, and I loved how he played with his lip ring, biting it, it drew my attention to his mouth which if that's what he was going for it was definitely working.