Reflection (6 page)

Chapter 14

Two days later we are sat in the solicitor’s office, he has given us a cup of coffee and we are sat waiting for him to start.

“Thank you for coming in today, I have Bernard’s last Will, it’s not too long and its straight to the point “he says

“So, Julie, Bernard leaves you the house you have lived in together for years, he would like you to keep it as a base but with the money he has left you he wants you to travel the world. He has left you the sum of 1 million pounds”

“Oh my God, where did he get that kind of money from?” Julie asks shocked

“Sorry Julie, Bernard invested well for when it was his time to go, he wanted you to travel like you have always wanted too”

“Oh but he never said he had that kind of money are you sure that it is right?”

“Yes, it was a life policy that can only be cashed upon his death.” I watch as he looks at my Mum and Dad “Bernard has left you his camper van, he knew you were always jealous of it, well now it’s yours”

I watch as a smile comes to my dad’s face as he grabs Julie’s hand, Julie nods her head.

“Now Olivia”

“Yes” I answer

“Bernard says that he hopes he has talked you into staying here and that the city doesn’t suit you”

“Yes he did indeed” I nod my head

“He has given you his Mother and Father’s cottage, he said it was perfect as a project for you since is needs a bit of fixing along with thirty thousand pounds”

“Oh my God I can’t believe it, he’s left me Plum Tree Cottage”

“Yes he has”

“Oh Julie, thank you so much”

“You are welcome my dear but it was Bernard not me”

“Are you sure you want me to have it?”

“Yes dear I am it was Bernard’s wish for you to live there, it always has been. You are the closest we came to having a child of our own”

“Well that’s everything, anybody got any questions?” the solicitor says

I look around at the others and we are all wearing a smile but with a sad look, we all shake our heads.

“I will be in contact with each of you when I need too”

We all stand and shake his hand, I then walk over to Julie and hold her hand as we walk out. We make our way back to the house and have a cup of coffee, it’s my Dad that speaks first

“I can’t believe Bernard left me his van, I’ve wanted one of those for years”

It’s Julie that answers him “Bernard knew that, what about all that money he left and he wants me to travel without him”

“He did Julie he told me that several times, I’m sorry I am still really sad but I am also excited about Plum Tree Cottage”

“He told me, he didn’t want you to go back to the city and he knew you were a country girl at heart”

I leave them to it and wander off to my bedroom, I had visited Plum Tree several times as a child and as I lie down on my bed all I can picture is that amazing view, it sits on the top of the hill just outside the village with no neighbours close, I can see the floorplan and jump up from the bed and sit at my little desk trying to plan how I could change it. With the money Bernard left me and the sale of the apartment I will be able to add an extension as well.

A couple of days later and Dad is driving us back to the city, he knows I’m nervous about going into the apartment and keeps reassuring me that he will be with me and we can leave if it gets to be too much once I’m there.

We park opposite the apartment building and get out the car, I stop, I’m not really sure whether I can do this or not, the memories start to flood back as I feel Dad’s hand take mine “Come on sweetie, we can do this together” I let him lead me to the apartment and once we reach the door I feel like I can’t get any air into my lungs, Dad grabs my face and tells me to breath in the same way that he is I start to slow down my breathing and before I know what’s happening we’re stood inside “Now tell me what you want to take”

I look at my Dad and I know in my heart that I am safe, so I move towards the sitting room and start to fill a case with personal things, I do the same to a cupboard in the kitchen and in the bathroom, the only thing left now is my bedroom, Dad again takes my hand and leads me in “See Sweetpea, it’s going to be fine” I nod my head and quickly move to the drawer I need to empty, I throw all my things into the case and decide to take some clothes too, I’ve nearly filled it up when I spot my phone on the chest of drawers I grab that and the charger, I do a quick scan of the room, looking but not really looking. I take one last look around, I have asked the movers to get the rest of my personals stuff and hopefully the estate agent will sell the furniture with my apartment.

Once we have loaded the truck up and are sat in the front seats Dad asks “Do you want to go straight home or is there anything else you want to do?”

I think about it for a second then smile “Shall we surprise Charlie and go to lunch? I think she would like that” my Dad agrees and I direct him through the city to where Charlie works. Dad waits in the truck while I run in and get Charlie.

I knock on her office door and smile when I hear her voice shout “Come in” I open the door and stand there, she is busy writing something when she eventually looks up and sees its me she jumps from her chair and shouts “BOO”

“Hey Charlie, want to come to lunch?”

“Fuck Boo I’ve missed you so much” she races across the room and grabs me in her arms

“I missed you too, so are you coming to lunch?” I laugh as I hug her back

“Yes I am but what are you doing here are you back for good?”

“No, just collecting some stuff from my apartment”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No my Dad is outside, we have already been”

“Ok, let’s go and see your Dad”

We reach the truck and Charlie opens the driver door “Hi Tony, it’s been a while, how are you?” I watch my Dad smile and then Charlie throws her arms around him and hugs him tight, I start to laugh my Dad looks scared, she eventually lets him go and jumps in the back

“Ok where are we going girls?” my Dad asks

We direct him to our favourite restaurant and manage to park right outside. Dad and Charlie are in full conversation as we enter the restaurant; I find us a table and grab the menus. Charlie turns to me “So Boo, how are you really doing?”

“I’m ok, not really sleeping… can’t shake the feeling that someone’s always watching me then Uncle Bernard died, it’s just so, so sad”

“Oh no I know how much you loved him”

“Yeah… We went through his will and he left me his parent’s home, Plum Tree Cottage”

“Plum Tree Cottage?”

“It’s a beautiful house; I’ll have some money to renovate once I’ve finished selling everything here”

“You are not coming back are you?”

“No”

“So what this is goodbye?”

“No Charlie course it’s not, I will come and visit and you can come and stay with me anytime you want, you’re always welcome. You know that”

“Ok you are sure though, you won’t miss the city?”

“I will miss you but not the city; anyway what do you want to eat?”

We drop Charlie back at her office and make our way through the city, Dad asked me if I wanted to stop off at the offices and see anybody, I said no but we could drive past and I would show him where it was.  As we get closer I tell him it’s just up here on the right, just as I’m pointing at the building Adam walks out of the door “Shit” I shout and Dad asks what’s wrong and starts to slow down, I shout to keep going and I take one last look at him, he looks amazing and he’s the one thing about the city that I’m not sure I want to let go but he loves the hustle and bustle, he’s always lived here and he knows no different.  I lean my head back on the headrest and close my eyes; I am knackered what with the drive here and all the emotions of the day. I come to just as Dad pulls onto the drive at home

Tomorrow is the day of the funeral, I help Dad unload the car and carry my stuff to my room, I unpack some of my clothes and plug my phone in to charge, I go down stairs to eat dinner then return to my room. I get into bed and lie down remembering that I finally have my phone, I reach for it and can’t believe the number of missed calls and texts, I decide to start at the earliest ones from Charlie, they are mostly asking me how I am, as they go on she wants to know why I’m not answering, I know I don’t need to answer any of her texts because we have seen each other, I open the first one from Adam

Liv, hope you are ok, I’m stuck at the police station will come to the hospital as soon as I can

Sorry Liv, things have taken so long at the police station, will be in to see you this afternoon

Fuck Liv where are you?

Liv where are you?

Please Liv, I need to see you

Liv, you already know my secret I need to tell you everything, please contact me

Where are you?

Liv I won’t give up

I guess you need time but I won’t give up

I will give you time but please can you let me know you are ok?

Liv please

Liv

The texts continue like that until they just say
I love you
and
I will always be yours

I slowly lie back and rest my head on the pillow, I just stay there thinking about how much I love him and how I miss him but I know now that it is over he would never want to live in the countryside and start a whole new life with me. I must try and move on and start a fresh in my new life. I decide to send one text back, just a simple one.

I love you too and you will always have a special place in my heart x

I hit send and drop my phone to the floor and start to think about tomorrow.

Chapter 15

I wake with a feeling of dread knowing what the day will be like.  I get up and wander into the shower, after drying my hair I get dressed into an all black suit. I make my way downstairs to find everyone sat at the table drinking sherry, it’s a bit early but when my Mum offers me a glass I accept. Julie is already crying and we have an hour before our car arrives. I sit and listen to her telling us stories about Bernard, when there’s a knock at the door that makes us all jump. Julie grabs my hand and I get up from my seat to give her a hug, Dad takes Julie’s coat from the end of the stairs and helps her put it on as Mum and I do the same. We all take a deep breath and walk to the door, Dad opens it and there is Andrew, the funeral director and one of our neighbours, we watch as he nods his head and walks back to the car, he opens the door for us and it’s then that I notice the hearse in front carrying the coffin with the flowers placed on top, I slow my walk and take Julie’s hand again, I hear her sob but I just keep looking forward. I get in first followed by the others.

The drive to the church is just under five minutes, I try and control my emotions the best that I can. As we pull up I notice all the people around, I think everybody in the village is here. Andrew opens the car doors and we get out and watch as the villagers make their way into the church. We wait behind Andrew as the hearse opens and they slowly get the coffin out, I know all the men carrying the coffin.  The flowers are placed by the church door except the ones from Julie which are placed on top. The men slowly carry the coffin into the church at which point Andrew walks forward and we follow. We take the seats at the front and watch as the coffin is placed down.

The service starts with some prayers and a hymn then one of Bernard’s friends talks about him and after that it’s my turn, I have a short poem to read that Bernard chose, I get up from my chair and walk to the front, I told myself to not look at anyone but as I turn I catch a glance at Julie who is crying, as is my Mum, I quickly move my eyes and look to the back of the church, it’s all about love and the one, just as I get to the last line my eyes find Adam, he is stood right at the back in his black suit, his eyes are looking straight back at me, I read the last line as though I am saying it to only him.

“I knew you were the one when I first set eyes on you – I love you”

With shaking hands I pick my piece of paper up and walk back to my seat. We sing another hymn and while I am still thinking about Bernard my thoughts also turn back to Adam, how nice it was for him to come, how did he know and who told him?

The men come back and lift the coffin and walk slowly back through the church, everybody slowly files out of their seats and follows the coffin, it’s a bit of a walk through the churchyard to Bernard’s final resting place. Once everybody is assembled there the vicar says a few things as the coffin is lowered into the ground, someone hands use a rose each and we follow Julie’s lead of stepping forward and dropping the flower into the grave. I turn and walk away knowing that I’m going to cry as I walk into the solid wall that is Adam, my arms immediately wrap around his waist as I feel him hold me to him, I let my tears flow knowing now that they are not just for Bernard. I eventually pull back and look up at his face

“Liv” is all he says

“Adam, thank you for coming” I say

“I knew you would need me Liv”

“I do, are you coming back to the house?”

He nods his head and takes my hand; I am stopped by several people who all want to tell me what a great man Bernard was. We reach the car as my Dad comes over

“Dad…this is Adam” I say

Adam puts his hand out to shake my Dad’s hand but my Dad pulls him into a hug and I hear him whisper “Thank you for looking after my girl”

“You are welcome, Sir”

My Dad turns to me “We’ll see you back at the house” giving me the permission I needed to drive back with Adam. He leads me through the crowd to his car and opens the door for me, I slide in and watch him walk around the front and get in.

“So Liv how have you really been?” he asks

“I’ve been ok, Bernard passing has shaken me again” I reply

“I’ve missed you” he looks at me and I can tell by his eyes that he really means it

“Yeah I’ve missed you too” if only he knew how much I had missed him now that I live so far away but saying that, I missed him in the city too…

“We need to talk Liv”

“We do. We can later, where are you staying?”

“I booked into the B & B just down the road”

“It’s nice there, we will talk when everyone leaves, when are you going back?”

“Tomorrow night?”

“Ok, perhaps we could have lunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah I would like that” He says as we pull up to my house, we have a bit of trouble parking but eventually find a space and walk towards the house. I get us both a drink and talk to some of the people who have come back to the house.

It’s been a long day and I am finally seeing the last guest out, Julie has gone for a lie down and Mum and Dad are sat in the sitting room watching the TV, as I walk back into the house I can see Adam in the kitchen, I touch Mum’s shoulder as I walk past and stop at the kitchen door and watch him, he is making us a cup of coffee, he has taken his suit jacket off and rolled his shirt sleeves up, my eyes take him in down his muscled back over his tight bum and his long legs, oh my, he is everything I dreamed of when I was a young girl. He turns and smiles at me “Would you like to take this outside?” he says holding the cups up, I nod my head and walk to open the door, the smile he gives me as he walks past makes my skin tingle, we walk to the far end of the garden and sit on the bench, Adam hands me my coffee, I wrap both my hands around the mug for comfort I think.

“So Liv, are you ready to hear my story?” he says my eyes quickly find his face, he looks so sad, I nod my head.