Reflection (9 page)

“Nothing really happened, he was really nice and I’m sure if I met him before Adam it might have worked but I just can’t get over Adam, Mum I really am totally in love with Adam and I finished it and sent him away”

“Well darling, if you think that Adam is the one then you must make him see what he is missing”

“Yes but how?”

“We will think of something, anyway the removal people rang to make sure it was ok for them to deliver tomorrow, had you remembered?”

“Shit, I forgot”

“No worries, I have the day off tomorrow, they said they would be here at ten, so we better get to bed, it will be a busy day”

I kiss her goodnight and nod to Dill who follows me upstairs to bed. I watch as Dill gets into his bed and smile “Night Dill” I undress and pop an old t shirt on and get into bed. I lie there thinking about what my Mum said, I try and think of a way to show Adam I am the one for him. If only he had answered my texts, I grab my phone and put up Facebook and go to his page, I am disappointed to see no new posts, I check his personal info and it says in a relationship I’m hoping he just hasn’t changed it and that it’s not a new relationship, I quickly look at his photos, the ones of us are still on there, I smile as I scroll through them, we look so good together. I decide to send Charlie a message checking how she is and if she has heard anything about Adam, I won’t expect a reply tonight so I put my phone on charge and snuggle down, the photos of us flash through my mind as I fall to sleep.

Chapter 22

I wake the next morning to my phone bleeping; I quickly grab it and see its Charlie, I quickly sit up and open her message.

Hey I’m fine, working hard, only hear about Adam through work I will ask around today and see what’s going on- you having second thoughts?

I reply
- Yes I think my heart is breaking, Mum says I should show him what he is missing – but how?

Her reply is almost instant
– I have an idea, leave it with me I will call you later, love you Boo xx

I jump out of bed feeling happier than I have in a long time, I give Dill a bit of fuss and open the door, I watch as he races out of my room and towards the stairs, I dress in old clothes ready for my furniture to arrive, I meet Mum in the kitchen, she is ready and waiting for me. I grab a coffee and a bagel and call Dill; I tell Mum I will meet her there.

Five minutes later we pull up at Plum Tree, the removal lorry is already here and Geoff has made the chaps a drink. I let Dill out and he races over to see what’s happening, I walk towards the men “Morning” they nod their heads at me and I continue into the house, I wander around looking at the work Geoff and his men have done, it looks amazing. I hear someone call my name and I make my way to the front of the house, Geoff is there “Are you ready? If you stand here and when they walk past shout where it needs to go” I nod my head and watch the men in the back of the lorry. First off is the sofa “Lounge” I shout as they walk past, “Bedroom” after about an hour of shouting my mum turns up, she jumps out of her car and starts chatting to the men holding them up “Mum” I shout she waves towards me and walks my way “Mum your holding them up”

“Sorry, anyway I’ve been talking to Charlie that’s why I was a while, she tried to ring you but you weren’t answering”

“Shit I left my phone in Red” I say patting down my pockets

“So she has had an idea?”

“Mum I can tell by your face I’m not going to like this”

“I know but it’s a really good idea” she says looking at her hands twiddling her fingers

“Go on…”

“There is an awards evening two weeks from today, it’s a sit down meal and what not, Charlie has got you a space to sing”

Shit “No Mum I can’t sing, I haven’t sung for years”

“We know that but you have a beautiful voice and what better way to show Adam what he is missing, you being up on stage letting him see how beautiful you are”

“I’m not sure that I can even do it Mum”

“Darling we know you can, has Adam ever seen you sing?”

“No because I don’t sing anymore”

“Look I know it was bad when we all lost Cody but she would never have wanted you to give up”

“I just couldn’t bring myself to sing without her” mum reaches forward and swipes the tear from my cheek

“Well now is the time, use this emotion and your need in your heart to do this”

“Perhaps, I need to think about it”

“Ok but you remember Miss Baker your old singing teacher?”

“Of course” Cody and I had lessons twice a week with her although she was an older lady she knew her stuff.

“She’s coming to see you tomorrow, so I suggest you find your song and she will help you, now come on let’s get this furniture in” I watch as she turns and walks back to the men “Bedroom” she shouts, I smile and wander off down to the clump of trees in my garden and find my stump, sit down and think. Can I do it? I know it’s a great idea but can I really stand up there on the stage without Cody and sing, it’s been fifteen years since I last did it, before that night when she became unwell the next day she was in hospital and the day after that she was gone, it took me years to get over losing my best friend. She would want me to do this I know. I jump up from my stump and race back up to the house “Mum I will be back in a bit” I watch her nod then carry on giving directions. I smile and walk to Red, Dill comes racing over and as I open the door he jumps in, I start Red up and pull off down the drive, Dill must sense I’m sad as he lies in my lap, I stroke him with one hand and concentrate on driving, I pull up at the churchyard and put Dill’s lead on. We walk towards her grave, I can tell which is hers from back here, there are numerous bunches of flowers on her grave, I reach it and drop to my knees, I read the words on her stone, after her name and the dates I trace the next words with my finger, Daughter, Best Friend and Singer/Songwriter and then her favourite saying, “Life is a song – Sing it and sing it loud” I smile I can do this, I can show Adam I’m worth it.
 

Seven hours later after everyone has gone and it’s just mum and me we sit at the kitchen table drinking champagne “Here’s to you darling, a new start in a new home” we clink glasses and take a drink “And here’s to getting your man back” we clink again and drink “Have you thought about what song and what you are going to wear yet?”

I smile at my mum “Not yet, did you even like Adam?” I ask

“I did, he was handsome, charming, he looks after you and I could tell how good you were together, reminds me a bit of your Dad and me”

I smile, “I would be happy with that, having a relationship like yours” we clink glasses again and drink

“Are you staying here tonight?” she asks

I watch as she raises her hand and smiles, the champagne is getting to her “Yes I think I will, I need to call Dad to come and get you, you better not drive” she nods her head, I pull my phone from my pocket and ring Dad, he laughs when I say the champagne has gone to Mum’s head and says he will be over in five minutes.

I’m laughing and cringing at the same time as Dad walks in and Mum jumps from her chair and almost runs to him, he manages to catch her “Christ how much has she drunk?” he asks I laugh as I tell him half a glass, he guides her back to her chair and makes her sit “A quick tour then princess while your Mum finishes her drink” I nod and jump up “This is the kitchen” I say “Why the hell are you two drinking champagne when you know neither of you handle it?” I laugh and grab his arm and take him on a tour of Plum Tree.

“Well Princess, it looks amazing, when are the plans going to be ready?”

“Oh, Joe said a few days I think”

“Well I better get your Mother home” he says pulling her arm to get her out the chair

“Oh, take me home big boy” my Dad laughs, it is funny but it is also embarrassing. I watch as he pulls her to the car and opens the door, he’s trying to get her in when she grabs him and kisses him, I smile, they are still in love after all this time. I walk back to the table and sit down, I pour myself another glass and decide to ring Charlie, she answers on the third ring

“Hey Boo, you ok?”

“Hi Charlie, I’m fine and you?”

“Yeah, did you like my idea?”

“I didn’t to start with but I think maybe I can do it”

“You will be amazing, I know you can do it”

“So how did you get me a spot?”

“Don’t ask for my sources because I will never tell”

I laugh “Mum says it’s an awards evening?”

“Yeah the Annual Computer Science Awards, how exciting does that sound?”

“Yeah really exciting, have you seen him?”

“I went over there today, stopped by your office to see how things were going, did a bit of digging there, nobody had really seen him, other than at ten o’clock every day he walks out the building and comes back half an hour later, funnily enough I was there at 9.45 so I waited and watch as he walked out, oh and by the way he still looks like a God, I went up to his offices and had a chat with a couple of the men I know up there”

“How well do you know the men?” I ask her laughing

“I know how they like to fuck but not their last names, does that help? Anyway they said he goes out at ten every day for a walk, he’s not over you, they say he is not coping very well with a break-up”

“I don’t know what to say Charlie” I swipe at the tear rolling down my cheek

“Its good news Boo, anyway he’s going to be at the Awards because he is handing one out and he’s in the running for a couple of them”

I feel the pride for him swell in my chest

“Are you going to be there?”

“Yes I just need to find myself a date, someone new”

The idea hits me “I have just the man for you, his name is Joe and he’s my architect, really handsome and a nice chap too”

“Great, does he live down there?”

“Yes, I will speak to him tomorrow and let you know”

“Ok speak tomorrow and Boo everything is going to work out”

“We will see, love you” I end the call, finish my drink, it’s time for bed I find Dill fast asleep on the sofa I decide to leave him there and make my way to my new bedroom.

Chapter 23

I wake the next morning after having a nightmare about not being able to sing and then falling off the stage at the Awards, I rub my eyes and sit up, slowly opening them, a big smile spreads across my face as I remember where I am, I look to the window and sat on the window seat fast asleep is Dill, he wags his tail when he sees me, I look on out through the window, what a wonderful place to wake up, only one thing would make it better, Adam.

I stay where I am for a while just going over and over the same things, my phone rings, I grab it and see that it’s Joe, “Hi Joe”

“Hey Olivia, how are you, I’ve got your plans ready can I pop over and go over them with you?”

“Yeah sure, can you give me an hour?

“See you then” he ends the call, I send a quick text to Charlie telling her that Joe is on the way and I will talk to him then, I send my mum a quick text asking what time Mrs Baker is coming over, then I get up make a fuss of Dill and get ready for the day. I shower, dry my hair, put my basic makeup on and a pair of jeans and a jumper, I look at myself in the mirror, I mean I really look at myself, not just to do my hair or put make up on, I study my face, my eyes are the same as my Mum’s, a light shade of blue, I have a good nose, my lips are full and my skin doesn’t have a flaw on it. I decide it’s time to step up my game, I’m going to own it from now on and show everyone what I’m really made of.

I’m just making coffee when I hear a car and Dill runs off barking to meet the visitor, two minutes later there’s a knock on the open door “Hey Olivia its Joe”

“Hi, I’m in the kitchen” I turn and watch as he walks in, the plans are tucked under his arm “Coffee?” he nods “please”

I carry the cups to the table and take a seat “I’m very excited to see the plans”

After we have studied the plans I’m even more excited they are everything I wanted and more. I decide to tell Joe everything we have planned, I get to the bit where I almost promised him to Charlie, he raises his eyebrows and then smiles “Of course I will go, is Charlie anything like you?”

“She’s more confident than me” that’s an understatement, I smile to myself “Here I have a photo” I grab my phone and scroll through my photos until I find a good one of her from what she says is her best angle, I turn my phone to show him, I watch as the smile comes across his face “Wow that’s not going to be a problem” I laugh he quickly looks up to me “Olivia she is pretty but you, you are beautiful and madly in love with someone else, if I thought for a moment I would have a chance with you I would try harder but I know a lost cause when I see one”

“Thank you, can you promise me one thing?” I wait while he nods his head “Don’t sleep with her, even if she begs you, once you do she’s over you, you need to hold out as long as you can” I watch the look cross his face “She’s not a slag but when she really likes someone she goes all out, if they are too easy it is over by the morning”

“Ok I think I can do that”

I smile and get out my chair and give him a hug “I hope this all works out for both of us” he smiles at me “me too”

I just sit down when we hear another car coming, shit that must be Mrs Baker, I tell Joe about her while we wait for her to arrive, I stand when there is a knock at the door “Do you want me to leave Olivia?”

“No, will you stay for a bit?” he nods and I walk to the door, I pull it open and watch the smile come across Mrs Baker’s face “Olivia dear, it’s been too long” I nod and she steps forward and gives me a hug, “Right, lets sort out a song then, he must be very special if you are having to chase him” I smile “He is” like a God I think.

I make another coffee after introducing Joe to her and we sit at the table trying to come up with a good song, when we narrow it down to two, she tells me to listen to them and learn the words, she will be back in two days to choose and help me perfect them.

Joe sees her out while I make another coffee and a sandwich for us both, he comes back and sits down “So tell me about Adam”

“Where to start, he’s tall, dark, muscly and very handsome, he gives me goosebumps with just a look and he owns a software company, what more do you need to know?”

“Nothing, it kind of makes me feel insecure”

“I’ve never met another man like him; he’s the only one for me. Anyway there is some girl out there that will think like that about you, I would if I had never met Adam” We finish our sandwiches and coffee without another word. Joe stands “Thank you for lunch, I will make the amendments and send the plans over to the planning office you should hear back in a month or so”

“Ok thankyou and thank you for listening to me”

“Anytime Olivia” I walk him to the door and watch as he gets in his car and pulls off, I watch until he is out of sight and turn to Dill “What we going to do today Dill?”