Reflection (8 page)

I go to bed that night still thinking about him, I grab my phone and bring up his social media page, I spend a good hour looking at his photos, then I look at the photos on my phone, we were so good together before that Lara took over. Shit he tried really hard to do the right thing and I just kept pushing him away, like Charlie said he was a man whore before I met him but he has changed for the better, he was only trying to keep me safe and Lara away from me. I decide to send him a text

Hi, was just thinking about how much I miss you, I love you xx Liv

I press send and wait for the reply, after half an hour of waiting I finally give up and go to sleep.

Chapter 19

I wake up excited that first I get my new car and then I am meeting the decorator at Plum Tree to start the work. I shower and get ready in some old clothes and I am just walking down the stairs as the doorbell rings, I hurry to the door and there sat on the drive is my new Land Rover, the chap hands me the keys and leaves, I quickly find my bag and the things I will need for the day, I leave Mum a note saying where I am, lock the door and jump in the truck, I put the key in and start her up, oh she sounds great, as I pull away I try and think of a name for her and as I reach Plum Tree the only thing I can come up with is Red.

I pull up next to Geoff, who looks eager to start, he has unloaded his kit from the van and is stood waiting by the door, I jump out of Red and walk towards him shouting “Morning”. I unlock the door and help carry some of his kit in. We decide to start downstairs, I’m going to strip the wallpaper from the sitting room and Geoff is going to paint the kitchen.

An hour later and I have only managed to strip half of a wall, this paper must have been put on about twenty years ago…I wander to the kitchen to have a look at the progress there

“Oh wow Geoff this looks amazing”

“It does, I think you should just paint these units white, they are really solid you know” he nods towards the wood fitted kitchen units

“Yes I agree, I could paint the dresser in a brighter colour”

“Yeah, that would look nice”

“Would you like a coffee? I brought milk and that, it’s in Red”

He nods his head, so I go off to find the coffee, milk and biscuits, I make us both a cup and we decide to sit outside. We are just talking about village life when a white van pulls up, I young girl jumps out that I don’t recognise

“Hello, are you Olivia Carrington?”

“Yes” I say walking cautiously towards her

“I have a delivery for you” I watch as she walks to the back of the van and opens the door, I walk round as she opens the cage and brings out a large dog

“Oh my God, who has sent him?”

“I have a message” she hands me a note

To Boo the country girl

Something to fight away the boogeyman and keep you safe

Love Charlie xxxx

Ps send me a photo; I know you can’t make a decision to save your life so I named him for you… meet Dillan

I start to laugh as the girl hands him to me, he’s absolutely beautiful, he’s a tri colour boxer dog “Hello Dillan” I say as he licks my face, “Oh I don’t have anything for him, a lead, food or anything”

“That’s ok you friend brought it all, I have it all here”

“How old is he and is he trained?”

“He’s nine months and fully trained” she smiles

I watch as she pulls a box out and carry’s it to the door, I thank her and watch as she leaves, I’m not sure what my Mum will say about having a dog in her house but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it… Geoff looks up and starts laughing

“Is he a surprise?” he says laughing too hard

“Yes from my best friend”

“Good idea what with you being out here by yourself, they are good company”

I set Dillan down on the floor and watch with a smile as he totters off to explore, I stand and look at how much we have done

“Geoff do you have anyone that could come and help?”

“Yes, how many men do you want?”

“I think I would like it done ASAP so I could move in?”

“I will ring now, will two do?”

“Perfect”

I walk away to find Dillan and laugh as he shoots pass me and up the stairs. I decide I need to order a skip and clear some of the rooms, there is no personal stuff in here as it’s been rented out for about fifteen years to an old couple. I then ring the estate agent to see if the buyer wanted my furniture, I almost jump for joy when he said they hadn’t. I quickly call the removal people and ask them to bring everything here, I make the appointment for the following Monday, I find that I have wandered outside and sat on the bench, I look around the garden, its huge, I have never gardened before so I am going to look forward to that challenge and I feel quite excited about getting chickens. I look at my phone and check to see if Adam has replied to my text, nothing, I feel my excitement dull…fuck what was I thinking sending him away. I leave my thoughts as I hear a car coming, it’s another van, I watch as it stops and two men in overalls get out

“Hi, Olivia?” the taller one asks

“Hello, yes that’s me”

“I’m Oliver and this is Tom, come to help with the decorating”

I freeze when I hear the name Tom, I honestly hadn’t thought about that for a good two weeks but now I get a flash back, I quickly nod my head and point to the door and walk off down the garden. In my head I can picture me on the bed unable to move naked and Tom stood over me, I know it could have been so much worse if Adam hadn’t come to rescue me and then how did I treat him, I left without a word. Jesus I’m such a stupid cow. I wipe my tears away and look down to see Dillan sat at my feet looking at me with soppy brown eyes. I smile as I reach down and stroke his head

“Come Dill, there’s work to be done”

I take a deep breath and walk back to the cottage. I walk into bedlam, the men have taken over stripping the wallpaper, only the are much better at it than me, I wander on through to the kitchen and watch Geoff painting, he is whistling away some tune I don’t know, he seems so happy

“Geoff are you married, do you have kids?” I ask

“Been married for twenty years, got two kids, a boy he’s fourteen and a girl she’s eleven”

“Are you happy?”

“I am, very” he says smiling

“How did you know she was the one?” I watch as he thinks for a minute

“Well I suppose I just couldn’t imagine my life without Sarah in it”

“That’s nice” I walk to the kettle and go about making everyone a drink, I take mine outside and sit on an old tree stump, I take my phone out and check it, nothing, I ring Charlie to thank her for sending me Dill, I tell her he’s gorgeous but a bit of a handful and to find out if she has seen Adam, she says she hasn’t. I invite her down for the weekend two weeks from now, I end the call and jump up remembering Dillan and where the hell is he, I almost run back to the house and into the lounge, they are still stripping wallpaper and there is Dillan sat ripping up every piece that they pull off the wall and putting it into little piles next to him, I laugh and start tidying up after him. Its half past five by the time the men leave, I gather my things and remember I have to take Dillan home to mums and they will be back, I attach his lead and walk out to Red. As we drive back through the village and park outside, I look at Dillan and tell him to be on his best behaviour. We jump out of Red and walk to the door, I am really nervous I’m not even sure if my parents like dogs. I open the front door gently and take a quick glance at Dillan, I give him a quick reminder to be good, I open the sitting door and call out, the answer comes from the kitchen, we walk slowly to the kitchen and stand in the doorway and watch as my mum looks up and then sees the dog “Dillan” she shouts as she jumps from her chair and rushes over to us, she drops to her knees and Dillan licks her face “How did you know?” I ask a little shocked at her reaction

“Oh Charlie rang, she knew he would have to live here for a bit”

I sigh out the breath I was holding and release Dillan from his lead, we laugh as he races around the house, it’s nearly an hour later before he comes and sits down. All that time he was racing around Dad was telling me about the van, he eventually asks me about Plum Tree, I tell them everything that has happened. Then he asks about Adam, that I can’t answer as I don’t know, I tell them what has happened and how I sent a text but hadn’t got a reply.

“Well I understand when you first came here, you were in a bit of a state but after I have no idea what you were thinking, telling him it was over. Your Mum and I have watched you mope about here for weeks now, you miss him and you need to do something about it, I like him and I know for a fact he is in love with you”

I nod my head agreeing with him. Yeah I really need to think about what to do. I wander to the garden and decide to send another text. I sit for a while watching Dillan go mad around the garden, I check my phone every other second and still no reply.

I walk back to the house feeling very worried, why isn’t he replying to my texts, has he found someone else. I try my hardest to get that thought out of my head. I pour myself a glass of wine and shout to Dillan and make way to bed. I find an old blanket and settle Dillan down, I climb into bed and close my eyes, I can see a picture in my head of Adam and Lara, how she kissed him, I really didn’t like seeing him in another woman’s arms.

Chapter 20

I wake the next morning to Dillan licking my face, I laugh and get up, quickly grabbing my phone to check for messages, I throw my phone back down in a temper when I have no new messages. I grab my old work jeans and jumper and quickly get dressed. After a quick breakfast, we set off for Plum Tree.

I shout morning to the workmen who seem to know what they are doing, I wander around for a bit and decide I need to go and see Adam. I need to face him and tell him I was wrong.

I check the men are ok to carry on and make my way back to Mum’s. I shower and wash my hair, put on some make up, find my best jeans and a shirt. I look at myself in the mirror, happy with the way I look, I make my way downstairs with Dillan at my heels, I find my Mum at the kitchen table doing the crossword.

“Mum could you look after Dillan, I have decided to go and see Adam”

“Of course, does he know you’re coming?” I shake my head “Ok, well I hope it goes well and drive carefully”

I give Dillan a kiss on his head and wander out to Red, I wonder what she meant, does she think I should go or not? I have to go I can’t carry on like this.

By the time I park, my stomach is fluttering, I’m not sure I have made the right choice coming but I take a deep breath and walk into the building, I quickly walk past my old office and into the lift, quickly pressing the button for the top floor.

I walk to the reception desk and ask to see Adam, the girl tells me he is in a meeting and would I like to wait, I nod and turn to take a seat on the sofa when I spot Richard looking at me, it takes him a moment but I see when he remembers me, I see him walk towards the door and out into reception

“Hi its Olivia isn’t it?”

“Hi, yes and Richard?”

He nods his head “How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages”

“I’m fine thank you, I’ve come to see Adam”

“Oh, is he expecting you?”

“No, I popped in on the off chance”

“Ok, he’s in a meeting, can I tell him you called in?”

Ok so he doesn’t want me to wait and I’m starting to wonder what is going on.

“Yeah sure, how has he been?”

“Yeah fine, we have been busy”

“Well nice to see you again Richard” I turn and walk out.  I reach the lift and press the call button, willing it to be quick, the doors open and I rush in, turning to face the doors, I look up and see Adam, he’s in his dark blue suit, his head is thrown back and he’s laughing, he looks really good like he’s been working out more, it’s then I notice the girl stood in front of him, she is beautiful, I see him reach out and touch her arm, it’s the last image I see as the doors close.

I ride down in the lift and rush through the building back to Red before anyone else sees me; I jump in and drive away. The tears come and I cry for a good hour, I pull over to get a coffee and pull myself together.

Ok so my thoughts – I need to move on and forget about him but oh my God he looked amazing, I finish my coffee and make my way home. I call in to Plum Tree first and I am amazed at how much the guys have done, the kitchen is finished and the sitting room is nearly done, they’ve started on the hallway, I feel myself smile for the first time in days, it looks amazing.

I get home and Dillan is very pleased to see me, I think I can make this lifestyle work for me, will it be enough? The cottage and garden, with just Dillan and me, I have to give it everything for it to work, so that’s what I decide, I search for an architect and arrange to meet him tomorrow. I call Charlie and chat for an hour, not once do I mention Adam. I go to bed excited about life but still sad about Adam.

Chapter 21

I wake again the next morning feeling sorry for myself but decide I wanted this life and to get on with it.

I go to meet with the architect at Plum Tree after checking on the men I take a coffee outside and wait for him, I watch from my bench as a Land Rover winds up the drive and comes to a stop. Out gets a really handsome man, I stand and walk towards him, I watch as he does a double take, it makes me smile

“Hi I’m Olivia, you must be Joe” I say holding out my hand

“Hi yes, nice to meet you Olivia”

We walk to the bench and sit down, he asks me what I want to do, after I explain that I want some extra rooms downstairs & upstairs, maybe a bigger master bedroom, something modern with a lot of glass and an office, separate from the house so I can take in the view.

After he has wandered around and taken measurements and photos he takes my number and says he will call, I watch him walk away and get in his car. I pat Dill on his head and although Joe was nice it will be a long time before I get over Adam and before I can trust any other man again.

The rest of the day drags by and I watch the workmen leave, I decide to have a tidy up before going back to Mum’s. They are doing really well I think I may be able to move in next week, as I put the key into the door to lock up my phone rings, a buzz of excitement runs over my body at the thought of it being Adam, I quickly take my phone out from my back pocket and see its Joe the Architect

“Hello”

“Hi Liv” when he calls me by my that name my mind immediately jumps to Adam

“Please call me Olivia” I say

“Sorry… Olivia, are you busy? Only I have some great ideas but would like to run them past you first”

“Ok great, when?”

“How about you meet me at The White Hart in an hour?”

“Ok but I need to grab a bite to eat first so say an hour and a half?”

“I haven’t eaten either we can eat there while we talk”

Oh shit I hope he’s not getting the wrong idea “This is just to talk about the plans right?”

“Yes of course”

“Ok see you in an hour”

I end the call, finish locking the door and jump into Red, I smile as I look at Plum Tree and decide tomorrow to order some fence posts and some wire, it’s time to get my chickens. I pull up at home and nobody’s in, I feed Dill and race to have a shower and get ready. I come down almost an hour later, my Mum and Dad are in the kitchen. I walk into the room and they stop talking and look at me

“You look nice darling, are you going out?”

“Yes I’m meeting the architect at The White Hart”

“Oh is he good looking?” my Mum asks smiling

“Actually yes he is but I’m not interested” I watch as she smiles

“You have made quite an effort for someone who isn’t interested”

I quickly glance down to what I’m wearing “Jeans and a jumper, that’s hardly effort is it Mum?”

“I was thinking more of your hair and make-up, anyway you look beautiful”

“Thank you, is it ok to leave Dill with you?” I nod over to Dill who is sat on my Dad’s feet looking up at him

“Yes of course, have a good time”

“Ok thank you, I won’t be late” I say as I turn and walk out of the house, I decide to drive, that way I won’t drink more than one glass of wine. I drive into the car park and notice Joe is already here, I grab my bag and walk towards the door, taking a deep breath I open the door and walk in, I spot Joe sat at a table in the far corner, I’m just about to walk towards him when I hear my name

“Olivia, is that you?”

I turn around and see one of my old school friends Polly “Hi, how are you?” I haven’t seen her since I left school

“Great thanks, when did you get back?”

“A couple of weeks ago”

“Are you staying?”

“Yes, I’ll be living at Plum Tree, just doing it up at the moment”

“Of course, I was sorry to hear about your Uncle Bernard”

“Thank you”

“We must catch up, let me give you my number” I watch as she takes her phone out, I quickly grab mine and bring up new contacts as she reads me her number

“Now ring me so I have yours”

I press call and her phone rings “Perfect I will give you a call and we can meet up for a coffee or something and catch up, oh are you meeting Joe, he is so sweet”

“Yes he my architect, speak to you soon Polly”

She smiles and does a funny wave thing, I turn and walk towards Joe, he rises from his chair as I approach

“Olivia, you look lovely”

“Thank you, Joe”

“Please take a seat, I got a bottle of wine or would you like something else?”

“No wine is fine thank you”

“And a menu” he hands me the menu, then pours me a glass of wine, I take a sip before opening the menu, I’m hoping there is a steak on it as I am starving, I haven’t eaten since breakfast this morning.

The waitress comes over and takes our order, as she leaves I look up at Joe, he smiles at me, he is really handsome but it doesn’t do anything for me, no funny feeling in my stomach, no goosebumps on my arms he really has no effect on me at all, unlike one tall, dark handsome man who must have decided that he no longer wants me.

“So Olivia tell me about you?” Joe asks as he leans forward waiting for my reply

“Not much to tell really, I was born here, went to school here, moved to the city, where I went to college stayed there for a couple of years, inherited Plum Tree so decide to come back, that’s it really”

“Oh I didn’t realise you were from here, so no boyfriend/husband?”

“Joe I like you, you are a nice man, no boyfriend/husband and not looking for one at the moment, it’s been a tough time and I’m just happy as I am” yeah right who am I trying to kid

“Ok sorry, so what did you do in the city?”

“I had a recruitment company”

“So what’s it like living in the city? I always thought I might end up there one day?”

“It’s fast and noisy, it was great for a few years but after coming home for a bit I know I’m a country girl at heart, what about you?”

“Well I wanted to go to the city but I was looking after my Mother, my Dad left us when I was five, we got on really well until about three years ago when my Mum got sick, they said she had cancer and there was nothing they could do, they gave her six months, she fought hard though and made it to two years, that was one year ago, I took some time off and now I’m ready to live my life”

“I’m so sorry about your Mum that must have been awful for you to go through”

“It was but enough of that, I’ve started your plans I should finish them tomorrow there is just a couple of things I wanted to check with you”

We talk about the plans and Plum Tree for nearly two hours, I insist on paying for my meal as he won’t let me pay the whole bill, we get up and leave together, walking out to the car park, Joe is in front and opens the door for me

“So” he says, I stop and turn towards him, his hand comes up to my face and he leans in, I go to move but decide at the last second to let him kiss me, I put nothing into the kiss and feel nothing in return as Joe pulls away he starts laughing “What?” I ask

“That must have been the worst kiss ever”                                                          

I start to laugh too “I said I didn’t have a boyfriend, I finished it a few weeks back, the only trouble is that I am still in love with him and probably always will be”

“Why did you finish it then?”

“Because he works in the city and I moved back here”

“And he was alright with that?”

“He must have been, I haven’t really heard from him since” I can feel my tears building

“Shit Olivia, it could have worked, you should have given him a chance to make it work”

“I know that now but it’s too late”

“You know it’s never too late”

“Thank you for a nice evening, call me when the plans are ready” I turn and walk to Red, I jump in and start her up, I wave to Joe who is still stood in the same spot and make my way back home, the tears that were brewing minutes earlier now fall from my eyes, how could I have pushed Adam away? I really never gave him a chance to make it work, I thump the steering wheel and shout “You stupid cow Olivia” I pull up at home and see the lights are still on, I wipe my face and check it in the mirror. I know as soon as mum sees me she will know I’ve been crying.

I walk through the door and I’m met by a very excited Dill, it’s like I’ve been gone a month, my Mum calls out from the kitchen. I make my way there with Dill racing around my legs

“Hey Mum”

“Hi darling would you like a coffee?” she asks without looking at me “How was your night?”

“Yes please, it was nice, Joe is a nice man and before you ask no he doesn’t do it for me”

“Oh” she says as she turns and looks at me “What’s wrong, did something happen?” she says as she rushes towards me and envelopes me in her arms, I feel the tears start again, as I hold on tight I cry into her shoulder. After a couple of minutes crying I start to gather myself, mum realises me from her hold and gets two glass and a bottle of wine out “Sit” she says and then pours us both a glass “What happened Olivia?”