Rockstar Daddy (Decoy Series) (14 page)

      "I'm sorry I fucked it all up Kendal."

I frown, does he really think that? Well, I didn't really go into detail when I called it quits.

      "No it wasn't you Harley. I'm just not in the right place at minute."

Oh that felt weird talking, I can really feel the tongue bar. I guess because it's new. I can see him thinking.

      "So one day you might be?"

I really don't want to get his hopes up. I don't know maybe I will manage to get over Jax but I really don't know.

      "I don't know Harley. It's hard, I'm sorry."

He reaches up and places his hand on my jaw and rubs my cheek bone with his thumb.

      "I want to wait for you, I miss you Kendal."

Oh no I can't have him waiting. He misses me? I feel guilty as shit.

      "No Harley. Please don't wait. I'd hate myself if you did."

I look down at my shoes and feel awkward. I want to get out here now. I feel his finger under my chin and he lifts my head so I'm looking right at him.

      "Fine I won't wait. But I do miss you."

He envelopes me in a hug and I welcome it. It feels so nice to be hugged by a big strong sexy man but I pull back and give him a smile I hope looks like I'm OK. I walk out on my own and see Jessica looking though a black folder of tattoos.

     "Thinking of having one?"

   "Just browsing."

Before she can ask about Harley I go to the receptionist and pay. When the door closes behind us and were in the fresh air she pounces.

      "So how was it?"

   "OK, didn't really feel it. It feels a bit sore now though."

She lightly swats me on the side with the back of her hand.

      "That's not what I asked and you know it."

   "He was flirting a little but before I came out he ruined it. He told me he will wait for me and he misses me! I told him not to. God, I'm an awful person."

      "No your not Kendal, what's not to miss about you? At least you were truthful and told him not to. It's not your fault."

I let her words calm me a little, I guess she's right. We walk to my work car park and hug near my car. I have some time left over so before I fetch Finley I go home to change and do some housework.

*~*~*

   He runs straight up to me when he see's me and I pick him up and carry him to the car, even though he is getting heavier. On the way back in the car I tell him where have spaghetti bolognese, one of his favourite dinners and he seems happy enough. I'm worried I might not be able to eat it though.

   At the kitchen table I have finished my dinner and was surprised my tongue was OK. I'm watching Finley finish eating his, he looks so funny, his concentration on picking up all the spaghetti and has a big orange circle around his mouth.

      "So was you a good boy at school today?"

   "Yes mummy."

      "Good boy. Tomorrow I was thinking if you wanted to go to the park?"

He slams his spoon and fork down and shouts.

     "Yeaaaaaaa!"

I think he wants to go the park. I laugh to myself, I really do love my son. As soon as I think that I get that familiar stab of guilt in my heart. I feel selfish for having Finley all to myself and getting these rush of emotions from him. Jax should be feeling this too and it's my fault that his not. Finley finishes his dinner and drink and lifts his arms to me, he suddenly looks very tired. I stand to lift him in my arms and he wraps his legs around my hips, I hold onto him tight as we walk up the stairs. This little boy is my world and I'm scared I've done wrong by him. I wash his face and get him into his pajamas. I read him a bedtime story and halfway through he falls asleep.

   When I go back downstairs I clean up and settle down to watch some TV when I see a text on my phone and when I see it's from Harley I hesitate a little.

HARLEY:   Hey Kendal it's Harley. It was nice seeing u 2day. Im sorry

if I made u uncomfortable but its true. I do miss u,

cud we b friends? xxx

  I stare at his text for a while thinking of what I could reply. Could we be friends? I don't know, I would like to because I do actually miss his friendship but I don't know if it would just be awkward.

ME:  Yh was good 2 c u 2. No I wasnt u just shocked me and I

think friends wud b nice but do u think thats a good idea?

I don't put any kisses and I get a text almost immediately back from him.

HARLEY:  I think friends wud b perfect, I do miss u Kendal, I

miss talking 2 u and having a laugh. Maybe 1 day we cud meet

up for dinner sometime and catch up. As friends?

I agree to meeting up sometime but I don't know when that would be. I'm not ready yet but I will meet up some time in the near future because I do agree with what he says. We had a good friendship before it got all sexual and complicated everything.

Chapter 8

      "Wakey wakey! Wakey wakey! Wakey wakey!"

I don't even know why I bother setting my alarm for every morning. Finley managers to get up before it's set to go off every morning. He is my alarm clock and there's no snooze button for Finley, when he wakes up I have to get up. His still bouncing on my bed.

      "Get up mummy!"

I grab my phone and wince when the screen wakes up and shines brightly in my eyes. I squint at the screen and manage to make out the time, it's 6:30! I roll over on my front and groan into the pillow like I'm a teenager being shouted at by my mum to get up for school. Finley has outdone himself today, a full hour before my alarm was set for. I roll back over and pat the empty space beside me.

      "Come and have a cuddle with mummy."

He quirks his eyebrows at me like I'm crazy but then it disappears and he jumps under the covers with me. He giggles a little as he wiggles about to get comfy. I cuddle up to him and sigh deeply. Who needs a man when I have my little man right here. Finley is everything I need.

      "I love you buddy."

He squeezes me tightly with his tiny little arms.

      "Love you mummy."

Oh my God I think I just felt my heart swell in my chest.

      "Mmmm lets go sleep."

I feel sleepy again, well I didn't actually fully wake up to start with. It silent and I smile to myself thinking I have gotten away with it.

      "Mummy, juice pleeese."

I inwardly groan. I should have known better really. So I guess I better get up. At least he said please.

      "And biscuits."

I flip the covers off me and sit up.

      "Please mummy."

   "Yes OK Finley, let me go wee wee first."

I get up off my bed and begin to walk when a little blur of fast movement comes from beside me. Finley pounces off my bed and barges past me.

      "I go wee wee first!"

Everything is a competition with him lately. I watch him from the doorway as he grabs his blue toilet stool and does his wee. His standing up and it makes me smile, last week he walked in on James when he was over and saw him standing, now Finley wants to do the same. My smile fades when I realize it's another one of those moments but I haven't seen or heard anything else about Jax and the guys. Finley turns while his still weeing.

      "Mummy!"

I quickly turn around hiding my smile

     "Oh sorry."

I watch from the corner of my eye as he shakes his legs and then pulls up his trousers. He stands off his stool and goes to wash his hands. He patiently waits for me and then we go downstairs and he so nicely reminds me of his demands.

   After we sit together for half an hour watching cartoons and eating our breakfast I leave him to his toys while I get ready for work. I pick black shorts today with my purple Bianca's work top. Simple make-up with my usual cat eyeliner flick and I pull my hair up in a high messy bun. It's a hot day and it's going to be even hotter in the salon. Hair dryers and straighteners along with the hot temperature makes a sweaty day. So I'm glad I'm not working a full day, I shout Finley to come upstairs so he can pick out his clothes and he reaches for his jeans,

      "Fin you will be too hot in jeans."

He huffs and grabs his red knee length chino shorts and a simple white shirt.

      "And a hat."

There was no need to remind him because his already grabbing his red flat peek hat. When we get downstairs I look at what shoes he selects , his white vans, no socks. I only have fifteen minutes to get to work so it's a quick goodbye to Finley, not that he cares. His already left me and ran off to his group of friends. I explain to his teacher my dad will be fetching him and I leave.

   As soon as I walk into walk it's like I have walked into a sauna. I take a quick look at the bookings, the first appointment is in half an hour but mine isn't till ten, it's Maisy who wants her acrylic nails redoing. I don't know how women can wear them 24/7, I prefer to just paint mine every week. It's too stuffy in here I need to open some windows, I can't believe nobody else has opened a window yet! I leave one of the front doors open and go and see if I need to open a window or two in the staff room. Just because Bianca's not back yet doesn't mean one of these girls shouldn't think to crack open a window, how can they be in this sweatbox? Tanya opened up today but she's on a house call right now. One of the girls in the salon opens the staff room door and smiles at me.

      "Hey Kendal, there's a sexy guy asking for you at reception."

Sexy guy? Who could that be? I thank her and think it could be Harley I suppose. His the only sexy gut I know at the minute. I enter the reception area and see exactly who the sexy guy is. I wouldn't choose the word sexy because I definitely don't see him that way but I suppose if you didn't think of him as your brother he is a very good looking man. Standing there with his dark blonde hair looking a mess is my close friend James. His looking a bit rough looking at the minute, wait his in a shirt and dark skinny jeans. He went out last night, are those last nights clothes? Oh! Ew!

      "Hey James, whats up?"

He smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. I can't ignore the fact his looking a little uncomfortable.

      "Can you talk?"

I look up at the clock, Maisys not due until another half hour. I nod and step out in front of the salon into the fresh air. Aww that feels better. I stand and look at him for a couple of minutes but he says nothing. His looking anywhere but me and I'm getting a sence of deja vu here and I don't like it.

      "James you said we needed to talk?"