Say You'll Never Love Me (2 page)

“Are they here now?”

“I’m sure they are.”

“Where?”

Damn.
“Oh, I don’t know. Could be sitting on the steps.”

Silbie unsnapped and leaned forward, narrowing her eyes into slits. “I can’t see them.”

“That’s because they’re angels.”

“Then how do we know they’re here?”

With every response, Raynie dug the hole deeper, and she wasn’t sure she’d get out. A few cheesy poetic responses might satisfy this sprout of a kid now, but she wouldn’t be this age forever. Then what?

“They’re like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. We can’t see them, but we know they’re here.” A lame answer, but one she hoped satisfied Silbie. Ready to end the Q&A, she didn’t give her time to say anything else. “Grab your backpack and let’s go in. You want a corn dog for dinner? I’ll do French fries. Lots of ketchup. Doesn’t that sound yummy? I bought fresh blueberries and strawberries today, so I can make you a fruit cup.”

Inside the house, the phone rang. Raynie turned the key in the lock, and Silbie rushed to answer it. “Hello. Hi, Grammy.”

Evan’s mother called several times a week, and that was a good thing. Raynie wanted Silbie to have a relationship with what family she had left. But Grammy Collins didn’t approve of the guardian choice. She’d made that clear.

When she finished the call, Silbie skipped into the kitchen. “May I go outside?”

“Do you have homework?”

“No.”

“Okay, you can play until I get dinner fixed. Where was Grammy calling from?”

“Rome. That’s in Italy. I can show you in the geography book she gave me.”

“We’ll do it tonight at bedtime. All right?”

She nodded and headed to the backyard as someone knocked on the front door. When Raynie opened it, Mr. Remmus stood in the opening, mug in hand.

“Can I borrow a cup of bourbon?”

The old man’s gravelly voice sounded grumpy, but he was anything but that. His gentle nature caused Raynie to like him the minute she’d met him. The day of the funeral, he’d shown up with a basket of fruit and a philodendron, and the only neighbor who had continued to visit.

“Everything going okay?” He reminded her of George Burns without the thick glasses, right down to the cigar peeking from his shirt pocket.

“Okay, I guess.”

“You guess?”

She took the bottle from the cabinet and filled his cup. “Silbie asks a lot of questions I’m not sure how to answer. You know. Where Celeste and Evan are now? Will she ever see them again?”

He took a big gulp. “Ah, that’s good stuff.”

She smiled. He had the same reaction every time.

He set the drink on the counter and planted himself on a stool. “She seems happy, so I think you’re doing fine.”

“She doesn’t ask to go to the cemetery every day, so that’s better.”

“You hang in there kiddo. Motherhood ain’t easy. My Charlotte would have been a great mother, but it wasn’t in the cards for us.”

“You miss her, don’t you?”

“Every minute.”

The sadness in his eyes broke Raynie’s heart, so she changed the subject. “We’re having corn dogs for dinner. You want to join us?”

“Nah. Weenies give me gas. I better go.” He held out his cup. “Hit me one more time for the road.”

She half-filled the mug and followed him to the door. “See you tomorrow?”

“Count on it.”

Later that night, after getting Silbie to bed, Raynie soaked in the tub and contemplated her situation. This wasn’t a temporary assignment. She had twelve more years, and the thought exhausted her. Thanks to the insurance, and once the house sold, finances wouldn’t be a problem. That’s the one area where Celeste made the right choice. Raynie was good at handling money.

Mounds of jasmine scented bubbles puffed around Raynie, and childhood memories flooded over her. All the times Evan paid her a dollar to leave Celeste alone with him. How she’d taught Raynie to drive, apply makeup and a hundred other shared moments. Overcome with sadness, she sobbed into the washcloth.

She’d read crying, like laughing, was healthy, and hoped that was true because she’d been doing plenty of it. She pulled herself together, climbed out of the water and toweled off, then slipped into her nightshirt.

Back in the living room, she stared out the window. The bells at St. Paul’s, a few blocks away, chimed eleven times. When she’d first moved in, they had driven her nuts, but now the melody soothed her. She wasn’t Episcopalian. She wasn’t much of anything concerning religion. If they provided counseling or a support group for new mothers, she should join. The Lord knew she needed it.

Years ago, when she established her online tarot site, she never thought how beneficial it would be. She could work from anywhere while her employees kept the Austin storefront open. For Silbie’s sake, until school ended, Raynie planned to stay in Celeste’s house. The trauma of losing her parents was enough for the little girl. Besides, summer vacation would be a better time for transition.

The wind picked up, and a tumbleweed rolled across the lawn, and reminded Raynie how much she hated this city. Nothing but flat land and cotton fields. Earlier in the week, she’d suffered through her first dust storm. Swore her hair gained two pounds and the skin on her face felt sanded to the bone. Not to mention the layer of dirt on her teeth. How residents tolerated this place was beyond her.

Then, like every night since Raynie’s arrival, Silbie’s screams shattered the silence. “Mama! Mama!”

Raynie ran down the hallway, wishing she had hitched a ride on that tumbleweed and rolled away from the hardest challenge she’d ever faced.

Hell has three gates: lust, anger, and greed.

~~Bhagavad Gita

JARED KNEW IT WAS
wrong to lust after his brother’s wife. Yet here he was staring out the window watching Maggie strap the twins into their stroller. The warm breeze caught tendrils of her long red hair and twirled them in the wind. She gathered the strands into a ponytail, pulled a rubber band from her wrist, and twisted it around the wild curls.

Most of the time he pushed the misplaced affection out of his mind, but sometimes he couldn’t fight it. The memory of the kiss they’d shared stabbed his heart like a hot spike. He knew it meant nothing to her. Circumstances caused a weak moment. After Jace forced her to leave because of his paralysis, she’d felt rejected. Jared had only intended to offer comfort, but then his lips were on hers, and instead of pushing him away, she’d clutched tighter. Thank God, he came to his senses before making a bigger fool of himself.

She’d been gracious, claiming some of the fault, and because she’d forgiven him, their friendship remained intact. Emma and Ava giggled with pure joy when their dad did a wheelie. Jared laughed, too. He’d never thought Jace would be any good at fatherhood. But he was.

From across the kitchen, Mom came to join him. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and slung it over her shoulder. “What are you laughing about?”

“Jace, Maggie and the girls. Looks like they’re going for a stroll.”

“You should go, too. Your dad’s in the shower, and won’t be ready for a while.”

“Nah, it’s their family time.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t consider it an intrusion. Did you ever think Jace could be this happy again?”

At first, Jared believed his idiot brother might not come to his senses. He should have known better. Maggie wasn’t the type to give up until she got what she wanted. While they were apart, she’d sent Jace a letter every day, and he’d clung to them as if they were his lifeline. When they stopped, he realized he couldn’t live without her. “I’m a little envious.”

Jared moved away from the window. No need to torture himself. Regardless of the attraction, he’d never act on it. Not that Maggie would. She loved Jace. Always had. Always would. Fact was, Jared didn’t want her as much as someone to love him with the same devotion. Given Jace’s playboy lifestyle, Jared thought he’d be the first to marry. But as ready as he was to settle down, he kept making the wrong choices.

“No reason for that. You have Beth Ann.”

Mom’s voice jarred him back to reality. The news about his love life might shock her because she already considered him and Beth as a serious couple. “Not for long. Lately, I’ve seen a side of her I don’t like. Clingy. Gets all paranoid when I’m around other women. She’s too damn insecure, and I’m tired of it.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

She took it better than he expected. Good. If his soon to be ex-girlfriend was as understanding, he’d be home free. Who was he kidding? He hoped she didn’t go psycho Fatal Attraction bunny-boiler on him. “Yeah, well, it is what it is.”

Mom folded the dish towel and laid it on the counter, then smoothed the creases with her palm. “I worry the breakup with Julie affected you to where you’ll never trust women again.”

He plopped onto a bar stool and rested an arm on the countertop, regretting he’d brought up the subject. At least Julie had called off the wedding a few weeks before in place of leaving him at the altar. But that had been about getting refunds from the caterer and florist more than sparing his feelings. “We’ve been over this. That was years ago. I’ve recovered.”

She leaned forward and widened her eyes. “Have you?”

“Yeah. And I learned something. Falling out of love takes longer than falling in. But I haven’t thought about Julie since the last time you mentioned her. So don’t waste your worry.” Not a lie. He rarely thought about her, but when he did, he was still bitter as hell.

“Not possible. It states in the Mom Manual I’m required to fret over all things concerning my children.”

He strolled around the counter and pulled her into a hug. “Yeah. You’ve got the hardest job in the world, and you’re great at it. That’s my problem. I’m waiting for a woman like you.”

She nudged him away. “You are so full of it.”

“It’s true. Jace found the perfect wife. So between you and her, the bar’s set high.”

“It was all Maggie. He wouldn’t have given her a second glance had she not been tutoring him. Definitely wasn’t his type, but you’re right, she was what he needed.” Mom pulled him into another hug, and squeezed as if she didn’t want to let go.

He patted her shoulder. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

She released her grip and walked to the coffee pot, then hoisted it in the air. ”You want a cup?”

“No ma’am.”

“Oh, thanks for coming to pick up your dad. His car should be repaired by Friday.”

“Well, he’d better hurry or we’ll be late. He has a nine o’clock appointment to go over the plans for the dental center.”

“Here I am.” Dad stood in the doorway. Lately, he’d slowed down. Complained more and allowed Jared to take the lead on new projects. He worried, but Dad said it was nothing more than age catching up with him.

“Babe, can I get a coffee to go?”

“You bet.” She filled an insulated mug, attached the lid and passed it over. “Jared, sure you don’t want any?”

“No thanks.” He winked at her, then faced his dad again. “Come on, old man. Race you to the car.”

He waved him off. “Go ahead and run. I always let you win anyway!”

On the way to the office, Jared’s phone chimed ten times. He glanced down at the screen. All from Beth.

Dad shot him a look. “You going to answer those?”

“No need. They all say the same thing. Where are you? What are you doing? Beth is driving me nuts. It’s like she needs to know my every move.”

“That’s not good.”

“Yeah, but I’m about to put a stop to it. I’m breaking up with her.”

“I didn’t realized she’d gotten so obsessive. Probably a good move. Oh, has your mother mentioned hiring an intern?”

“No. Why?”

“She wants me to cut back.”

“Not a bad idea. I passed on a couple of renovation jobs this month because I’m swamped with construction plans. I know you are, too.”

“Call the architecture department at Tech. Speak to Professor Gray. He’ll recommend someone.”

“I’ll put it on my to-do list.”

For the rest of the day, Jared tried to concentrate on work, but Beth kept blowing up his phone. How did she ever get any work done? As if to prove his point, it dinged. Her. Again. Thirty-two texts so far. If he loved her, he’d probably welcome the calls. But he didn’t. Another sign he’d made the right decision.

He forced the problem to the back of his mind and stared at the stack of papers in front of him. Lately, on-site projects took him out of the office more. Regardless of how much effort went into drawing plans, clients always found changes they wanted. He spent hours traveling from place to place, making sure permits were in order, and contractors stayed on schedule despite the new modifications. He crammed the documents into his briefcase and headed out the door. He had one stop to make, then he’d go home to face Beth Ann.

At six o’clock, he pulled into his drive, and Beth waited on the porch. “Hey, babe.” She checked her watch. “You have a late client? I expected you forty-five minutes ago. If I’d had a way in, I could have dinner waiting. Why didn’t you answer any of my texts?”

“We’ve been over this a hundred times. You’ve got to stop sending so many. My answers are the same. I’m at work. Working.”