Scars of the Present (15 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

They kept David sedated for the next 48 hours, and either Sarah or I stayed with him constantly. The ICU wasn’t the ideal place to stay with someone due to the fact that they had their patients lined up without any privacy. This allowed the nurses to be able to monitor their patients more closely, but also didn’t leave much space. Sarah and I sat on hard plastic chairs, and getting more than an hour of sleep at a time was impossible. You were either uncomfortable, a nurse would be checking on him, or someone’s bedside alarms would go off. On the third day, almost exactly 72 hours since he had been brought in, they decided to wean him off the sedation.

“We need to keep the tube in for at least one more day, but we’d like to wake him up and assess his mental status before then. If the tube distresses him too much we will re-sedate him until the tube comes out tomorrow.”

Sarah had to leave to be with an emergent patient, but I stayed with him as they dialed back the anesthesia.

“It could be five minutes or five hours when he wakes, Ms. Lewis,” the doctor said. “Just press the call button when he wakes up if no one is around.”

I clutched his hand in mine and watched for signs of him waking up. It wasn’t until forty-five minutes after the sedation had been cut off and he jerked beneath me. The hand I wasn’t holding, his injured arm, automatically went towards the tube that was in his throat, and I grabbed it in mine to stop him. His eyes weren’t open yet, but I leaned in close.

“David, you have a breathing tube down your throat, and it needs to stay there a bit longer. I know it’s scary and confusing, but you have to keep it in to help you breathe.” His hands remained tense in mine, and I tried to rub them reassuringly with my thumbs.

“You’re okay, David, but you have to calm down or they’ll put you back to sleep.”

His eyes fluttered open and he looked around, confused. Finally they settled on me and he tried unsuccessfully to speak.

“Shh honey, you can’t talk. The tube will come out tomorrow, but in the meantime you just have to be the silent one for now.” I looked at him and saw tears forming in his eyes. I leaned forward to let my lips kiss his forehead. “You’re okay. I’m going to let go of your left hand for a minute, but you can’t grab at the tube, okay?”

He gave a slight jerk of the head that I took as a nod, and I released his hand long enough to push the call button for the nurse.

I moved back up to his head while we waited for the nurse to show up, and I just stared at his dark blue eyes. “You scared me.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “Don’t do that again, okay?”

He gave a jerky nod and squeezed my hand as a nurse appeared with the same doctor her had operated on him following behind her. I let go of the hand on his injured arm, but kept a tight grip on his right hand.

“Mr. Bradley, welcome back. I’m Dr. Malloy, the cardiovascular surgeon who’s been taking care of you. You have quite the entourage who wants to see you awake.” The doctor grinned at David as the nurse brought his bed into a sitting position.

“You had a bullet hit your left shoulder and that arm is going to have to stay in a sling for a little while. The other bullet nicked your lung and lodged in the left side of your heart. It took us while, but we repaired your heart and stitched up your lung. We need to keep the tube in your throat until tomorrow so that your lung can heal a bit longer, okay?”

David nodded again, his movements becoming much more fluid. The doctor just smiled and pat his knee. “You guys just let me know if you have any questions or problems.” They both disappeared and left David and I alone.

David just stared at me and I knew he had a million things he wanted to ask.

“Do you want me to go? I know things aren’t exactly perfect between us…”

His hand crushed mine and he shook his head.

“Claire knows you were hurt, but we haven’t brought her by. We’re waiting until you get the tube out. Alicia has her and is taking some personal time off to stay with her.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded.

“Sarah’s been here most of the time, too, and she’ll probably be back tonight. She’s a little shaken up, but she’s Sarah. Patty is okay, she wasn’t hurt in everything, and the kid that shot you took your bullet to the chest, but wasn’t as bad as you. He’ll make it.”

David nodded again and stared at me.

“What else do you want to know?”

He wiggled a finger free from our grasp and used it to point at me.

“Me?”

He nodded again.

“I’m okay. I was working in the ER when they brought you in.”

David cringed and gripped my hand tighter.

“God, I felt like the world had stopped, seeing you so pale and the blood was… everywhere.” A tear fell from my eye and I hurried to wipe it. “They operated on your for almost ten hours- the longest ten hours of my life. We’ve been here for three days.”

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead again. “I’m so sorry about everything, David. I want to be with you entirely. I want to have a future with you and a future with Claire if you’ll still have me. I need you.” I swallowed loudly. “David, I love you. So much.”

His eyes widened and I couldn’t tell if it was with surprise or something else. He freed his hand from mine and pointed to his chest before pointing his finger back at me.

“You love me too,” I said quietly and he nodded enthusiastically.

David alternated between dozing and awake as the anesthesia left his system completely. Sarah came by and sat with him for a bit so I could shower in an empty room Linda found for me, and I happily changed into clean clothes that Maddie had dropped off.

I stayed overnight with David, sleeping as I had been, with my head resting on the side of his bed. I had been asleep when I woke up with a start, catching myself as I started to slump out of the chair I was in.

It woke David up and he stared at me with concern and confusion on his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I sat up and stretched my hands above my head, groaning in relief as I did. I reached back out for David’s hand and he moved before I could grab it. I looked at him confused and he pat the bed beside him before gesturing at me to come closer.

“I’m not getting in the bed with you, David.” I crossed my arms and shook my head at him.

He placed his hand on his chest and reached out for me.

“No. You just had major surgery, only have one working arm, and you have a tube sticking out of your throat.”

He rolled his eyes at me and just continued to hold his hand out expectantly. When I didn’t move he snapped his fingers and pointed to the spot next to him. He pointed to me again and brought his thumb and forefinger together.

I laughed at his pitiful signed language. “I am not that tiny, David.”

He gave a frustrated groan as he held his hand out again, and I sighed, lowering the rail on the side of the bed.

“If we get in trouble, you make sure to gesture to them that it was all your idea.”

A chuckle sounded in the back of his throat as I curled up to his right side, and he brought his arm around my body to hold me close. I slept on the uncomfortable hospital bed next to him, and it turned out to be the best nights’ sleep I had in a while.

I heard voices around me, penetrating my sleep, and I groaned before turning my head deeper into my pillow. The smell of anti-septic infiltrated my nostrils and the events of the last few days seeped into my head. I jerked my head up and realized I was still next to David’s side, using his good shoulder as a pillow with his arm cinched around me. My eyes trailed up his chest until they found his own, and he stared back at me silently.

Before I could say anything to him, an annoyed voice came from the foot of the bed.

“Ms. Lewis, I’m sorry but I really need to examine him now.” A frustrated nurse was standing with her hands on her hips.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said blushing, and I pulled myself from David’s grip, dropping into the bedside chair. He shook his head and pointed to himself, trying to explain something to her.

“Yes, Mr. Bradley, I understand it was your idea. I’m not going send her to the dungeon, but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to examine you.” The annoyance on her face lessened, and she poked and prodded him for a few minutes before leaving us alone.

He held his hand back out and I took it in mine, giving him a smile. “Good morning. You feel okay?”

He just shrugged and used our conjoined hands to gesture to the ventilator.

“I know. Hopefully it comes out soon. Has the doctor been by yet?”

He shook his head and let out an obstructed sigh.

“Soon, Ralph, very soon.” I used my free hand to reach up and stroke his cheek, watching as his eyes closed slowly. His unshaven chin had the beginnings of a beard, making him look like a rugged rebel. After a few minutes of me slowly touching his cheek, I could tell he had fallen asleep, and I just stared at his face.

An hour later, Dr. Malloy showed up with a younger doctor following behind and we were joined by two nurses.

“He’s asleep,” I said quietly, looking up at the doctor who just smiled.

“Okay, we were going to see about extubating him, but we can wait a bit longer.” The doctor hadn’t finished his sentence before I felt David gripping my hand, and I turned back to see him opening his groggy eyes. He shook his head quickly and gestured to the tube with his injured arm.

I laughed and looked back at the doctor. “Getting the tube out is more important that sleeping, I think.”

I stepped back and watched as the disconnected the ventilator from the tube, and the doctor moved to the head of his bed. “Mr. Bradley, we have been slowly turning down the ventilator throughout the night, and I’m pretty confident in your lung function at this point. I’ve noticed that you’re actually breathing over the vent at most times, which is a very good thing. Taking the tube out will be quick, and we’ll suction out your mouth immediately to get rid of anything that the tube may have been obstructing. It’s going to be uncomfortable and I don’t want you to try to talk right away, okay?”

David nodded and his eyes darted to me. I gave a reassuring smile and watched as they pulled the tube out of his throat slowly. They suctioned his throat and he began to cough violently. A nurse wrapped a nasal cannula around his head and settled it at his nose as he sat back in exhaustion.

“You can have a little water if you want some, Mr. Bradley, but not a whole lot just yet, okay?” The doctor smiled and squeezed his good shoulder. “Try not to talk for a little bit. Your throat is going to be sore and talking won’t help that.”

The doctors left the curtain area, and a nurse handed me a cup of water with a bendy straw inserted into it. “Don’t let him chug it.” She smiled and both nurses left us alone.

David ran his hand down his face, as if basking in the joy of being able to do it again, and I moved back to my chair.

Holding the straw to his mouth, I let him take a bit of water before placing it on the tray next to the pitcher.

“Better?” I reached for his hand and he nodded with a smile on his face. I reached up and touched his cracked lips, a smile of my own on my face. “I missed your smile.”

“Tink,” he said hoarsely, and I shook my head.

“Stop. You heard the doctor.”

He grinned and pulled our hands up to his face, giving the top of my hand a kiss with his sandpaper lips.

“I love you,” his voice was so quiet that I might not have known what he said if I wasn’t watching his mouth.

“I love you, too. I love you so much.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, and when I pulled back I had to wipe a few tears that had escaped.

We sat quietly for a moment and someone approached the bed. I turned and saw Sarah with a big smile on her face as she stared at her little brother.

“Finally got that monstrosity out of your throat, huh? How do you feel?” She moved to the other side of his bed and pat his cheek.

“Better without it,” he croaked, a look of affection for his sister settled on his face.

“Whisper, Davey, and it won’t hurt your throat as much.” Sarah glanced up at me with a smile. “Good morning, Sydney.”

“Morning Sarah,” I said, returning her smile. “I’m going to step out and make a few calls. I’ll be back in a little bit okay?”

David nodded, but didn’t let go of my hand. I ducked down and gave him another quick kiss and he finally released me.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The next day David was moved out of the ICU and to his own room in a general ward, and both of us were happy. Being in the ICU had started to get on his nerves because of its lack of privacy and constant monitoring of him and the patients around him. He also hadn’t wanted to bring Claire in where she could see the other intubated and critical patients so freely, and I knew he was missing his daughter a lot.

“Your own bathroom,” I sighed happily as I walked around the room. “That makes me very happy.”

He laughed from his bed. “A bathroom is the way to your heart. I’ll make a mental note of that. The fact that there are more comfortable places for you to sit and lie down rank below the bathroom.”

A nurse walked in and smiled at David before jotting something down on a clipboard. “We’re going to be able to take that catheter out tonight, Mr. Bradley, and then we’ll need to get you up and walking around.”

David groaned and looked over at me. “Let’s not talk about my catheter when my girlfriend is in the room, okay?”

I grinned at him. “Oh, I know more about you from this past week than most couples who have been married for ten years.”

“Awesome,” he grumbled, a pout fixed on his face. “I’m going to have to work extra hard to get my man card back when we get out of here.”

The nurse laughed as she put his clipboard down at the end of his bed. “Oh don’t worry, when you guys have babies the tables will turn dramatically.” She left the room and I glanced over at David

He had frozen, staring where the nurse had been, and slowly he turned his head to look at me.

I shook my head at him. “I’ll make your ass sit in the waiting room if I have to in order to keep the magic alive.”

He didn’t respond for a moment, but a grin spread across his face like slow wildfire. “You said that without cringing or freezing up.”

“Well, things get put into perspective when the person you’re madly in love with gets shot and almost dies.” I shrugged like it was no big deal, but David wasn’t fooled.

“Come here, Tink.”

I sat on the edge of his bed and let him pull me to his side. As we sat there, I listened to his steady heartbeat and let out a happy sigh.

A few hours later I was kicked out of the room so they could remove his catheter, only being let back in once the staff had given me the all clear. Another nurse was preparing a basin of water, and she smiled when I appeared in the doorway.

“I was going to try to clean him up a little bit, unless you’d rather.”

I peeked over at David and he gave me a stern nod. I rolled my eyes and walked over to where the nurse was, taking the basin she handed me. “I’ll do it, thank you.”

“No problem.” She left the room and closed the door behind her.

“You need a shave, too.” I mused, as I ran the soapy washcloth up his neck.

“Yeah, my face itches like crazy.” He ran a hand along his chin absentmindedly.

As I moved the washcloth along his face, I couldn’t help admire everything about him. The four days’ worth of beard just made his face look more rugged and his healing lips looked so tempting.

“Tink, you need to stop looking at me like that.”

I snapped out of my daydream and brought my eyes to his. “Looking at you like what?”

He chuckled and reached his good hand up to touch my cheek. “Like you’re starving and I’m a piece of meat.”

I cleared my throat and blushed. “Sorry.”

I continued washing him the best I could, taking extra time to get the soap out of his hair and off his face. I washed his chest, nervously wiping around his bandages. Once I was finished, I brought him a fresh basin of water and sat next to him as he brushed his teeth from the bed. I handed him his trimmer Sarah had brought by, and soon his beard was back to just sexy stubble. By the time we were done, he gave me a lopsided grin.

“Better?”

I bent over him and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Better.”

He pulled his oxygen out of his nose and moved to swing his feet over the bed. I panicked for a second. “What are you doing?”

“I need to use the bathroom, Tink.”

I transferred his IV bag to the portable pole next to the bed and stood next to him. “Let me help you.”

“Baby, I can pee on my own.” He slowly stood for a moment before immediately sitting back on the bed.

I didn’t say anything, but looked at him with a smug look on my face. “David, you only have one hand, and you need one to just hold yourself up. Let me just help you get in there and at least prop you against the wall, okay?”

He mumbled something about how emasculating being in the hospital was and I chose to ignore it. I helped him stand, pulling his arm across my shoulders, and we moved slowly across the room with the IV pole in my other hand. I could tell he was trying his hardest to not much an ounce of weight on me, but by the time we made it to the bathroom he had started to wear down.

“David, there’s not use in my helping you if you don’t lean on me.”

He was panting heavily, and I maneuvered him into the bathroom, forcing him to sit on the closed toilet.

“Just give me a second to catch my breath.” Sweat beaded on his face, and he closed his eyes as he sat there trying to catch his breath.

“Do you want me to find someone else?” I asked quietly, wiping my hand across his forehead.

David shook his head quickly. “No, I’m good. Can you just help me stand?”

I helped him get to his feet and propped him against the wall on his right side. Flipping the toilet seat up, I moved out of the bathroom, shut the door, and started digging around in the bag of clothes Sarah had packed for him.

I heard him flush and I moved to knock on the door softly. “Can I come back in?”

“Yeah.” I opened the door and he was standing at the sink washing his lone hand. I grabbed the pole with one hand, and once he had dried his he threw his arm around me. The walk back he actually let me help him, and once we made it back to the bed he was putting a good deal of his weight on me. I help him sit on the bed, but stopped him from laying back down.

“Do you wanna put a little bit of clothes on just in case Sarah brings Claire by?”

He nodded. “That’s a great idea.”

I grabbed a pair of his boxer briefs I had pulled out of the bag and bent over to slide them up his legs. I added a pair of loose sleep shorts to and helped him stand so I could pull both up under his hospital gown.

“I had Maddie buy an oversized button up shirt that we can put on you if you want to take the gown off for now. I won’t be able to get your left arm into it, but that way you’re wearing something that resembles clothes and the doctors can still get to your chest for monitoring.”

He reached up to grab the back of my neck and pulled my face down to kiss me. “Once I’m out of here, I’m going to spend a week being a total caveman. I’m gonna throw you over my shoulder and make love you until you forget this whole embarrassing experience.”

I grinned at him as I untied his gown and slid it off of his shoulders, replacing it with the two sizes too big short-sleeved navy shirt that Maddie had bought. As I buttoned it up, I stopped at the bandage that was slightly off center on his chest. Leaning forward, I kiss the top of it lightly before buttoning up a couple more buttons.

“There. Now you aren’t so scary looking.” I helped him swing his legs back onto the bed, and pushed him back against the reclined mattress.

The trip to the bathroom had exhausted him, and he fell asleep fifteen minutes later while watching TV. I quietly stepped out of the room and wandered over to the nurse’s station. One nurse looked up at me and smiled.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, he’s just sleeping and I needed to stretch my legs.”

She nodded and picked up a stack of paperwork. “Do you mind if I ask you a work question?”

I exhaled, grateful for distraction, and moved around the desk to help her input some of the different figures into the computer. I sat out there helping her for about an hour until my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out and saw that Sarah was on her way in with Claire, so I excused myself from the nurses station and went back to David’s room. He was awake and watching TV when I walked in and he smiled when he saw me.

“I was wondering if you ever left my side.”

I propped myself up in the doorway and returned his smile. “Every now and then I sneak out when you’re sleeping.”

He held his right hand out to me, and I moved from my spot to place mine in his.

“You don’t have to stay, Tink.”

“Shush or I won’t tell you the good news.” I sat on the edge of his bed. “Sarah’s on her way with Claire.”

His smile widened and he tried to sit up a bit straighter. “Do I look as not-scary as possible? I don’t want to worry her.”

I leaned over and buttoned another button on his shirt, fully hiding his bandage. “You look like you.”

About five minutes later, Sarah walked through the door with Claire bouncing beside her. She caught one look of her dad and it was a hard to tell whose face looked happier.

David held out his arm and wiggled his fingers. “I missed you, Claire Bear. I really could use a hug from you.”

She ran at him full speed, and I caught her around her waist before she could jump on him. I could see the slight cringe on David’s face, and he laughed when he realized I caught her.

“We have to be gentle with your daddy, sweetheart.” I lifted her up onto the bed and laid her against him slowly.

David’s arm came around her tightly, and he rested his chin against her head with a peaceful expression on his face. I stepped back to where Sarah was and just watched as they chatted quietly.

“He needed this,” I said quietly, and Sarah nodded in agreement.

“So did Claire. She’s been asking for him for days.”

The two bonded for about an hour and Sarah and I sat watching them, only interacting when we were brought into the conversation. Claire had been there for about ninety minutes when David looked up at me, a panicked expression on his face.

“I need…” He didn’t finish his sentence, and instead his face crumpled in pain. “Take Claire, please.” I reached over and scooped her out of his bed, and his hand grabbed at his chest while letting out an agonized moan.

Sarah stood in alarm and went to his side as the monitors he was hooked up to started to beep rapidly. She slammed her finger against the call button for the nurse and leaned in close to him.

“David. David, what hurts?”

He didn’t answer Sarah and he slumped back onto the bed as I hid Claire’s face in my neck. The room was suddenly full of people, and they lowered his bed while they dragged different carts over. Sarah was pushed out of the way and joined me next to the door, clutching the arm that was holding Claire.

“What’s happening?” I cried, panic taking over my body.

Everyone was talking so quickly and I didn’t understand what they were saying. A nurse came up behind us and put her hands on both our shoulders. “We need you both to step out, come on. Let us work on him.”

I didn’t move, but the nurse tugged on me again. “Sydney, you don’t want his little girl seeing this.”

I registered that I was holding a sobbing Claire in my arms and I allowed the nurse to pull me out of the room. We stood in the hallway for a moment, and the door to the room burst open as the team wheeled David out quickly.

I sat on the floor of the operating waiting room with my head on my knees, the last three hours feeling like a blur. Someone was kneeling next to me, but I couldn’t hear anything they were saying.

The surgeon had come out about fifteen minutes prior and told us that one of the stitches that they’d used to repair his heart had torn, and the pain David had felt was his the blood filling his chest. He didn’t have an update beyond that, but just said he’d let us know when he did.

Randy had come to get Claire, who had been confused and terrified. I felt horrible that she had to see all that, but Randy insisted that she’d be okay. I suppose having an uncle who was a therapist had its benefits.

Whoever had been kneeling in front of me shifted so they were next to me, and I felt their hand rub my back gently. I don’t know how long it was before I lifted my head up and saw Maddie sitting next to me.

“Can I get you anything?”

I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have let him walk to the bathroom.”

“The stitch still would have failed, Syd. They’re gonna get it fixed and he’ll be okay.” She had so much conviction on her face that I knew she was trying hard to believe herself, too.

A voice from the other side of the room spoke before I could respond to Maddie.

“Sydney?”

I looked up and saw my dad standing there, a sympathetic look on his face. He was wearing a suit and tie, and someone had obviously contacted him while he was working. He moved towards me, and my face crumpled again.

“Daddy?”

He slid down the wall so he was sitting next to me, pulling me into his arms. I let my dad hold me and I cried for the thousandth time in five days. I felt his hand rubbing down my back and he kept whispering comforting words in my ear. I stayed curled up to my father, like a child, and somehow fell asleep.