Stand by Me (47 page)
Chapter 25
‘The next time he asks you, you should go.’
Maeve was sitting in the living room of the Fairview house with her. They were both drinking hot chocolate and had been watching
Strictly Come Dancing
on TV. Dominique loved
Strictly
. It was comfort viewing.
Strictly Come Dancing
on TV. Dominique loved
Strictly
. It was comfort viewing.
‘Leaving aside the fact that I don’t want to get involved with any man, I certainly don’t want to get involved with the man who bought my house,’ she told Maeve. ‘How weird would that be in my already weird life?’
Maeve grinned. ‘Slightly odd, I agree. But Kev says that Paddy O’Brien is a really nice guy.’
‘Don’t care.’
‘Ah, come on, Domino.’
Dominique picked a marshmallow from the bag in front of them and dropped it into her hot chocolate.
‘What you’re really asking me to do is move on, Maeve, but I can’t.’
‘At some point you have to.’
‘Maybe. But I’m nowhere near that yet. I know Brendan’s out there somewhere. I know that one day he’ll get in touch ...’ She swirled the marshmallow in her chocolate with a long-handled spoon. ‘I wake up every day and I think: this is the day. He’ll phone. He’ll text. He’ll email me. Something.’
‘What if he doesn’t? What then?’
‘He will,’ said Dominique fiercely.
‘But you can’t live the rest of your life waiting,’ said Maeve. ‘You’ve got to—’
‘Move on. And I have. But not the way you’re suggesting.’
Maeve sighed. ‘OK, what if we accept that you still don’t have closure and you can’t put it behind you yet. You still need to build up a network of friends outside of that totally dysfunctional Delahaye crew.’
‘They’re not dysfunctional.’
‘Excuse me?’ Maeve snorted. ‘Your husband does a runner. Your brother-in-law has more issues than a weekly magazine. June is a narky cow. And Emma Walsh was, is and always will be a self-obsessed narcissist.’
Dominique laughed despite herself. ‘Funny. I always thought it was my own family that was dysfunctional, what with the pictures of the Sacred Heart and St Dominic scattered around the place and my mother spending more time on her knees in church than anywhere else.’
‘Admittedly the religious motif was a touch strong in your home,’ agreed Maeve. ‘But your parents are good-hearted. ’
‘Maybe a bit more so now,’ agreed Dominique. ‘But remember what they were like when we were younger. It was their way or no way, and I hated it.’
‘Things change.’
‘Over time. To be fair, my mother’s been very supportive about Brendan. More than I ever expected. Although deep down I can’t help wondering if she doesn’t think I deserve what’s happened.’
‘Domino!’
‘I know, I know. I’m being as self-obsessed as Emma. Who, by the way, is actually a nice person when you get to know her, even if we’re currently not speaking.’
Maeve grinned. ‘Never mind, you still have me.’
‘Thankfully,’ said Dominique. ‘I’m sorry that we were out of touch for so long.’
‘Partly my fault,’ said Maeve. ‘I was off doing my London thing. And when I came back, you were someone else entirely and it was like we had nothing in common any more.’
‘But now that I’m a deserted wife, we have?’ Dominique looked enquiringly at her friend.
‘Now that you’re back to being yourself, we have,’ amended Maeve. ‘So listen to my advice. Chill out. Have a drink with Paddy O’Brien.’
‘I just told you why I can’t.’
‘You’re not betraying Brendan,’ said Maeve. ‘Maybe one day he’ll show up, but in the meantime you’ve got to live your life.’
‘Paddy might want more of my life than I can give.’
‘Unless you go out with him, you’ll never know,’ said Maeve.
She thought about her friend’s words a couple of weeks later when she answered the phone at the golf club and heard Paddy’s voice.
‘How’s it going?’ he asked.
‘Pretty good,’ she told him.
‘I’m in town next Wednesday,’ he said. ‘Not coming to the club, though. Wondered if you fancy a drink in the city centre.’
Would it be moving on? Or would it just be a pleasant interlude in her isolated personal life? Until now she hadn’t socialised in Dublin with anyone other than Maeve and Kevin. Understanding though they were, she didn’t want to be a permanent gooseberry in their lives. But would going out with Paddy start something she couldn’t stop? Or was she over-analysing a simple request for a social drink?
‘OK,’ she said after a pause during which he didn’t speak at all.
‘Great.’ He sounded pleased. ‘Seven thirty? Shelbourne?’
‘That’s fine.’
‘See you then.’
She hung up. Her heart was thudding wildly in her chest. She felt like a teenager again.
She was late home on Wednesday, so getting ready for her drink consisted of changing out of her navy suit and into a pair of tailored black trousers and one of her many cream silk blouses. The sensual extravagance of the fabric caressed her shoulders and she knew that she didn’t really want to return to buying cheap clothes. She had to treat the expensive ones she had as the investments she’d once told Brendan they were.
The sound of the doorbell ringing startled her. Surely Paddy hadn’t decided to call to the house? He couldn’t have. She hadn’t even told him where she lived. She ran lightly down the stairs and opened the door. Greg stood outside. Her eyes widened in surprise.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘Hello.’ She opened the door a bit wider and he stepped into the narrow hallway. His eyes narrowed as he took in the silk blouse and her loosely brushed hair.
‘You’re looking great,’ he said.
‘Thanks,’ she said as she glanced at her watch.
‘Are you going somewhere?’ he asked. ‘Is this a bad time?’
‘Surprisingly, it kind of is,’ she told him apologetically.
‘Oh.’
‘I’m sorry. It’s just a stupid thing I’ve arranged.’
‘Oh,’ he said again.
‘But don’t worry,’ she said. ‘We have time to talk.’
He looked around as she ushered him into the tiny living room, taking in the half-filled bookshelves and the faded upholstery of the slightly too large sofa.
‘Would you like tea?’
He shook his head.
‘Why are you here?’ she asked.
‘Does there have to be a reason?’
She looked at him, her head to one side. ‘No. But I’m sure there is.’
‘I came up to town,’ he said. ‘I haven’t seen you in a while. I thought it would be nice to drop by.’
‘You should have called and let me know,’ she told him.
‘I never did before,’ he reminded her. ‘Whenever I came to Atlantic View, you were always there.’
‘Not always,’ she corrected him.
‘I knew where you were, though,’ he said. ‘And now, the way things have changed, I don’t.’
‘Does that matter?’ she asked. ‘I thought we were OK.’
Greg leaned forward and put his face in his hands. ‘I was never OK,’ he said.
‘Greg!’ Dominique was taken aback by the utter desolation in his voice. She moved beside him on the sofa and put her arms around him.
‘I’m such an idiot.’ His voice was muffled. ‘I always thought I was helping you. Now I realise that I was helping me.’
She said nothing as she continued to hold him against her.
Eventually he straightened up and she took her arms away.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I guess it’s all been a bit fraught the last few weeks. Emma and her solicitors are being difficult, and all this divorce talk is doing my head in. I hate being away from home and from Lugh. I miss them. I miss everything. I hate the way it’s all changed. And I hate not seeing you.’
‘Greg . . .’
‘Oh, I know. We’re just friends. Close friends. Closer than any other friends we have. I understand that. I do. It’s just that I feel everything is slipping away from me, and I want to grab hold of something and keep it but I can’t.’
‘I know how that feels,’ she said. ‘It’s how I’ve felt every single day since Brendan disappeared.’
‘It’s how I’ve felt since Emma and I split up,’ said Greg bleakly. ‘Despite her . . . despite what . . . despite everything, I wish we weren’t getting a divorce.’
‘Have you told her that?’
‘What’s the point? She doesn’t love me. She never loved me, Domino. Never.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘It is, you know. Maybe she loved me for a time, but not for long enough.’
Dominique sighed. ‘She told me she loved you. I’m sure she meant it. And saying that was unusual for Emma. She always had men falling at her feet and she never felt the need to tell them that she cared.’
‘She thought there was something going on between you and me,’ said Greg. ‘And I kind of encouraged her to think that because—’
‘Greg!’ Dominique looked horrified. ‘You
encouraged
her to think we were having an affair?’
encouraged
her to think we were having an affair?’
‘Not entirely.’ He looked shamefaced. ‘It was to punish her for Gabriel.’
‘Why would you punish her for something that’s entirely in her head?’ demanded Dominique. ‘For God’s sake, Greg, wasn’t it a very stupid and dangerous thing to do?’
Greg rubbed his face again and looked at Dominique through tired eyes. ‘It wasn’t ...’ He swallowed hard and was silent. He didn’t speak for almost a minute. ‘I’ve fucked up big-time,’ he said despairingly. ‘I’m not cut out for this revenge lark. I’ve lost everything and everyone.’
‘No you haven’t,’ Dominique told him. ‘There are plenty of people who care for you. Including me.’
‘But you’re going out.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’ll stay.’
‘Oh, Domino.’
He looked so miserable, so desolate, that she put her arms around him again. He held her close to him, and then he kissed her. On the cheek at first. Then his mouth moved towards hers so that he was kissing her on the lips. And she was kissing him back, thinking that it was nice to kiss someone again and that Greg’s kisses were much softer than Brendan’s. Which was how she’d always imagined they would be.
Her mobile beeped. She pulled away from Greg and looked at it. It was Paddy, saying that he would be slightly delayed but that he’d be in the bar as soon as possible. She pushed her tousled hair out of her eyes and tapped out a reply:
So sorry
.
Sudden emergency. Will have to cancel
. Then she turned to Greg. ‘Maybe it should always have been us,’ she said as she unbuttoned her blouse.
So sorry
.
Sudden emergency. Will have to cancel
. Then she turned to Greg. ‘Maybe it should always have been us,’ she said as she unbuttoned her blouse.
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