STARTING OVER (18 page)

"No, of course we're not going home. This is the Fourth of July, and we've got ribs to eat and fireworks to see. Your parents would shoot me if I were to try to take you away today."

Kate answered with a dismissing wave. "They'd understand. They know that evacuating the rigs is an important part of my business."

"Until Cesar makes up his fickle mind, all we can do is
wait. And we might as well wait here as in Lake Jackson. The oil companies won't chance losing millions of dollars by shutting down the rigs unless that hurricane is breathing down their necks." He picked up the stroller and took the diaper bag from Kate. "I promised your dad I'd help him serve at the picnic. We'd better get over there or he'll send out the cavalry to see what we're doing."

His eyes were teasing as they met hers, but her heart did an unexpected somersault at the heated promise hovering just below the crystal-blue surface. Suddenly she was reminded of a wishing well she had peered into when she was a teenager. The sparkling spring water had looked bottomless and magical. As she watched her penny drift down like a leaf floating on autumn air, she had whispered her wish.

I wish I could fall in love with a man who will love me forever.

In retrospect, it had been such a simple, optimistic wish. With youthful innocence, she had thought it was possible. Doug's death had proved it wasn't.

However, now, as she basked in the warmth of Rusty's gaze, she wondered if perhaps her wish might somehow be salvaged. Was it possible that she might have a second chance at forever?

THE PARK was crowded to overflowing. The annual folk festival was always well attended, and people had arrived early to spread their blankets and claim their favorite spots beneath the sprawling oak trees. A large old-fashioned bandstand stood in the center of the acres of well-manicured lawn. Several popular folk and country singers were scheduled to appear, and the first group was tuning their instruments as Kate, Shanna and Rusty arrived.

A large lake bordered one side of the park while booths rented by local merchants or social organizations circled the other three sides. Some offered food for sale, a sample of almost every taste-tempting thing imaginable, from buttery corn on the cob to thick, rich squares of fudge. Others hawked carnival-type games, while a few offered T-shirts and event-inspired souvenirs for sale.

"Do you see Dad or Mom?" Kate tried to peer over or around the crowd but without much luck.

Rusty had a height advantage and quickly picked out the large sign with the restaurant's name burned into the rough cedar board. "It's over there, to your left," he told her, then steered her in the correct direction.

Arthur and Margie were obviously relieved to see them. For the next three hours until the lunch rush subsided, Rusty worked side by side with Arthur, dishing out barbecue plates or putting together sandwiches. Margie worked the cash register, and Kate helped from the background, opening packages of buns and jars of pickles while she took care of Shanna.

While the baby took her nap, Kate and Rusty took a break during a slow period and strolled along the line of booths. He threw baseballs at milk bottles until he won a stuffed zebra for Shanna, Kate wisely didn't point out that it had cost him ten dollars to win the small toy.

They sampled the other food, snacking on fresh, hot pretzels and
muscadine grape frozen pops. And they sat on the grass and listened to a surprisingly good local band.

Several people Kate had grown up with stopped by to say hello. She dutifully introduced Rusty to them but was careful to indicate that he worked for C-Breeze. She could tell that Rusty wasn't happy with the description, but Kate didn't know how else to refer to him. Not only were most of her old friends aware of her recent widow status, but they would recognize that Rusty was several years younger than she was.

Kate wished it didn't matter what they thought. But it did.

Rusty stood and brushed the grass off his jeans. "I suppose we'd better get back. It looks like people are starting to move around again."

Kate knew he was disappointed in her. Defensively, she wondered what he expected of her. There had been no promises spoken, no plans made. He knew she wasn't ready to discuss a personal relationship. At this point he was still officially her employee. Nothing permanent had been done about his proposed partnership.

And yet, deep inside, her conscience nagged that he was more than someone who just showed up for work each day and drew a regular paycheck. Their relationship was still undefined, but it had moved beyond merely business.

"Rusty, I'm sorry," she began as she took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. "It's just..." She hesitated.

His eyes were hidden behind his mirrored sunglasses, but she could tell he was studying her. Finally, he shrugged. "It doesn't matter," he stated with convincing nonchalance.

But Kate knew it did matter. She just didn't know how to handle the feelings Rusty stirred within her.

For the rest of the day, she noticed he was quieter and more withdrawn than usual. He pitched right in and more than carried his weight during the dinner crush. And later, after Arthur and Margie had left, taking Shanna home with them, as he and Kate sat near the lake and watched the fireworks display, he was attentive and charming. But he kept his distance, careful not to show any form of public display of affection in deference to her concern about appearances.

As Kate sat in the darkness, she couldn't help but notice all of the couples surrounding her and Rusty. Some weren't making any pretense of paying attention to the giant, colorful display of lights in the sky, Instead, they were wrapped up in each other, kissing with a passion that added its own type of sparks to the hot summer night.

Rusty sat close enough to her that she could feel the warmth of his body. Only inches separated them, but he made no move to touch her.

A triple flower spread across the black sky, momentarily lighting the area. Kate glanced down at her hand that was resting on the blanket. It would take almost no effort on her part to move her fingers over until they were overlapping his. She wanted to feel the warmth and protection of his hand wrapped around hers. She wanted to be a part of a loving, affectionate couple again. It had been so long since she and Doug had had the time to sit together out under the stars. First they had been busy with school. Then the business. Then her pregnancy. Then it was too late. Where had the time gone?

Another glance at Rusty pushed thoughts of Doug out of her mind. He was looking at her with a longing so intense she could feel its heat and taste its hunger. How much time did she have left with him?
Was she throwing away precious moments by not letting the past go so there would be room for him?

Her fingers ached to inch closer, and she curled them into her palm. Where was her loyalty? How could a woman so quickly let another man into her life? Did that make her unfaithful to the memory of her husband?

She moved her hands into her lap and clasped them together as if they could hold each other tightly enough to keep her from giving in to temptation. She hated her indecision. But she couldn't dismiss her past so blithely.

It wasn't easy to start again. She no longer had the excuse of youth on which to blame impulsive actions. Now she had to weigh each option long and hard before she took a step. She didn't want to rush into something she might later regret. And yet, she didn't want to destroy something that might be wonderful.

Rusty turned away, lifting his gaze back to the showers of glittering stars. His profile was thrown into a sharply dramatic relief against the red, blue and silver sprinkled sky. It was a strong, determined face. He was accustomed to getting what he wanted, and he had told her he wanted her.

The night suddenly seemed warmer, and the crowd disappeared from her line of vision as sh
e focused on the man beside her. The tender ache she felt whenever she was with him, whenever he touched her or held her in his arms, urged her to push aside her caution. Because however premature, however inappropriate, she wanted him, too.

Gingerly, she scooted closer until the side of her body was pressed against his. Her head fit naturally into the hollow between the jutting curve of his shoulder and the corded column of his neck.

For a few seconds, he didn't move, as if he weren't sure how to interpret her actions. Then as his arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer, she felt him relax. Kate realized she had been tensed, waiting for his response to her unspoken message. She still didn't know how long was long enough to let a loved one go. But she hoped Doug understood that by going on with her life, she wasn't taking away from what she had felt for him. But in her heart, she knew it was time.

As they nuzzled and kissed, the fireworks blasted noise and showers of color into the night. But the celebratory display was nothing compared to the explosions that were happening inside her. It all felt new and fresh as if she were falling in love for the first time.

"Sparks and shooting stars," she murmured her agreement.

With thunderous booms that shook the earth, a grand finale of huge red, white and blue ball-shaped sparkles lighted up the sky while the band played "America the Beautiful." Murmurs of appreciation rippled through the crowd, followed by a burst of applause.

People rose and began shaking the grass off their blankets before gathering their ice chests and other belongings and heading toward the parking lot.

Kate looked around, then back at Rusty.

"
Wow, that was incredible." The smile she gave him was very personal and filled with innuendo.

"I wasn't ready for it to end," he agreed. One hand still cradled her cheek, his fingers buried in the thickness of her golden hair, which had been pushed behind her ear. "But I suppose it was good timing or I might have forgotten we weren't alone and embarrassed you."

Kate turned her face into his palm and tenderly kissed the rough, callused skin. "I wouldn't have cared. It doesn't matter who knows about us." Her eyelashes fluttered down as shyness struck her. "Rusty, it's been a long time....I haven't been on a date in more than fourteen years. I don't even remember how to act around a man . . . a man I'm interested in."

His hand trembled and his voice was husky as he said, "Katie, I'll take care of you. As long as I'm around, you won't have to worry about anything."

Kate listened to the part of his promise that offered security. She didn't want to hear the part that gave it a limitation. As long as I'm around was not a statement of permanence.

NOT SINCE HE was a seventeen-year-old walking hormone, steaming up the windows of his father's 2001 Ford Escape had Rusty felt such frustration. Kate might be ready emotionally to begin experimenting with a new relationship, but she wasn't ready physically. Rusty wasn't sure how long it took a woman to recover from child birth, but he suspected it was longer than a month. The taste of her skin, the sweet curves of her body,
the soft texture of her hair turned him on like nothing or no one he had ever known.

Somehow it had been easier to keep his emotions in check as long as he knew she was holding back. But now, as she eagerly returned his kisses and didn't pull away when their bodies brushed together,
Rusty's physical response was immediate and painful as it went unsatisfied.

But in Kate's acceptance of their relationship, he sensed a naiveté and a hesitation that he found endearing. She had told him there had been no other man in her life after she began dating Doug and no serious boyfriend before she started college. With such limited experience, she had an innocence that reminded him of the nervous virgins he used to date in high school. If he moved too quickly, she would shy away; if he moved too slowly, she would wonder if he wasn't attracted.

It was a no-win situation. At least, until he could prove his desire for her, as well as his love. But he was afraid to mention love so soon . . . especially after she had just opened the door.

Rusty tossed and turned, feeling every wrinkle of the sheet and every lump of the mattress in the guest room. He wanted nothing more than to boldly walk down the hall to Kate's room and crawl into bed with her. Even if all they could do was sleep in each other's arms, it would be better than the torture of knowing she was so close, yet not quite touchable.

He got up and walked to the window. But when he opened it, a wave of hot, dead air instantly washed his tense body in a layer of sweat. Idly, he rubbed his hand over his bare chest, wiping away the sheen of perspiration that covered his skin.

Instead of cooling his desire, the heat and the moisture seemed to magnify it, reminding him of the afterglow of spent passion. Outside, the swell and ebb of the locusts' hum added a sensual background rhythm. All he needed was a certain woman's love. All he needed was Kate.

CESAR SEEMS to have settled on a northwesterly course. By stalling over the warm waters of the Gulf, he rebuilt his strength and will do considerable damage wherever he strikes. With sustained winds of over 130 miles per hour, Cesar is now a Category 4 storm. He is moving slowly and is still several hundred miles from the nearest point of United States coastline.