Take a Deep Breath (Lake of the Pines) (4 page)

“Nothing…”

“I know. I sound just like my mother. After vowing all those
years ago never to be like her when I had kids, I find her words coming out of
my mouth all the time.” Liv laughed at herself. “Who would have thought me a
mother…”

“From what I can see, it looks like you’re a damn good one
too.”

“I try my best. Sometimes though, I wonder if my best is
good enough.”

“I’m sure every parent thinks that at one time or another.
Sara looks like a happy, well-adjusted young girl to me. So you must be doing
something right.”

“Thanks. She is pretty great, despite my shortcomings,” Liv
shook her head.

“Everyone has those, but I know your good qualities far
outweigh any shortcomings you think you have. You’ve always been hardest on
yourself.”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“So are you still a writer? I keep watching the bestseller
list for your name.” Cam changed the subject to something lighter.

Liv laughed. “Yeah, that was the dream once. I did have a
couple of poems and short stories published in college, but it’s been a long
time since I had time to work on my novel or anything really. I do tell an
occasional story to Sara, but I haven’t written any of them down. I actually
teach writing these days. I’m an English and Composition instructor at a local
community college back in Ohio. It pays the bills.”

“I’m sure you are an excellent teacher, but don’t give up on
your writing dreams, Livvy.”

Liv smiled. Cam was the only one besides her grandmother
that called her Livvy anymore. “I haven’t. I won’t. I’ll get back to it
someday… And look at you? A doctor. That’s pretty amazing. You must get a lot
of satisfaction out of helping people.”

“Yeah, it really is fulfilling, at least when I actually get
to help people.”

“What do you mean? When you actually get to help people?
Isn’t that your job?”

“With insurance companies, malpractice threats, big business
and office politics, I don’t get as much time to help people as I’d like to. It
gets frustrating at times.”

“I never thought about that.”

“Pre-authorizations, time-limits on patient visits,
over-booking patients, it all starts to take a lot of the satisfaction away.
That’s why I…”

“Cam! Mom! Come look,” Sara called running toward the lounge
chairs. “Come check our sandcastle!” Sara pulled on Liv’s hand trying to pull
her up out of the chair.

“Sara Annabel. You just interrupted Cam.”

“It’s okay. I need to get going anyway. I should finish my
run before it gets too hot,” Cam stood and stretched his calf muscles.

“Do you have to?” Sara asked.

“I’m afraid so. I need to cut the grass today.”

“Boring…Will you at least come see my sandcastle first?”

“Sure thing, Squirt.”

Liv and Cam followed Sara toward the sandcastle with Pup-Pup
bouncing by her side.

“We need to find some adult-only time where we can catch up
uninterrupted.”

“I’d like that.”

“How about tonight?” Liv’s voice sounded a little anxious.
“Or later this week,” she added suddenly unsure of herself. “I’m sure my Grandma
would watch Sara for me.” Liv continued to ramble on nervously.

“Tonight sounds good. I’ll pick you up around seven?”

“Perfect.”

“Oh no!” Sara cried as they reached the edge of the beach
where she and Pup-Pup had built their sandcastle. Pup-Pup stood on top of what
remained of her three-tiered castle. “It’s ruined!” Sara started to pout.

“It’s okay, Sweetie. That’s what happens to sandcastles. You
build them and then the waves and cute little puppies knock them done. Here,
I’ll help you build a new one.” Liv consoled Sara and sat in the sand next to
her. She scooped some wet sand in her hands and started dribbling it on the
remnants of the previous castle.

“Hey, that looks cool!” Sara scooped up some wet sand
herself and imitated Liv’s technique.

“You girls are quite a team!” Cam smiled at them. “Have fun.
I’ll see you tonight Liv.”

“Right. Seven o’clock. See you then,” Liv confirmed and
waved to him as he jogged backwards a few steps and then turned away from her.
He slowly picked up his pace and jogged down the beach toward the boardwalk.

“What’s at seven, Mom?”

“Oh, Cam and I are going out to dinner to catch up with each
other.”

“Can I come too? Please, please, please!”

“Not this time. Cam and I want to spend a little time alone
so we can talk.”

“That’s not fair,” Sara pouted.

“I’m sure you and Grandma will have fun together.”

“I guess,” Sara gave in. Her face suddenly brightened. “Are
you guys going on a date?”

“No, no, we’re good friends that want to spend a little time
together reconnecting.”

“If you say so, but I think Cam really like, likes you.”

Liv smiled at her daughter. Her heart skipped a beat and her
stomach flip-flopped.
What if he really does?
She thought, trying not
to get her hopes up.

Cam smiled to himself as he followed the boardwalk back to
the main road that led home. He had a date with Liv! Well, technically not a
date.
She’s married,
he reminded himself.
We’re just friends.
Then, why does it feel like more?
He thought as he pictured her lying back
on the lounge chair in the little flowered bikini she had on. He wondered what
it would be like to taste her lips, to untie the string behind her neck,
letting the top fall away so he could see her. So he could taste her…
Stop.
Don’t do anything stupid to wreck your friendship with her.
A cold shower
definitely was in order.

Liv checked the clock above the kitchen sink for the tenth
time in five minutes. The hands seemed to move in slow motion. It was only 6:17
PM. She paced back and forth a few times and then sat at the table, only to
stand up and begin pacing again. She took a deep breath in and held it. She
slowly released the air in her lungs as she counted to ten. She repeated the
steps a few more times in a futile effort to soothe her nerves.
At least I
don’t feel panicky
, she thought.
That’s a good sign
.

She wandered down the hall into the living room and checked
her appearance again. She frowned at her reflection.
I still look tired.
Duh, you are tired!
She fussed with her hair, tucking a few pieces back
into her loose French twist. She reapplied her lipstick and smiled at herself.
Better.
Liv heard the screen door open and close followed by the scurry of little puppy
paws and little girl tennis shoes.

“Mom! Where are you? We’re home!”

“I’m in the hall,” Liv said as she came into the living room
to greet Sara, Pup-Pup and her grandmother.

“Oh, there you are! Guess what! Grandma let me get
McDonald’s for supper! And, we rented a movie and Grandma said later we could
play cards.” Sara prattled on without taking a breath.

“Slow down a little, Sweetie. Wow, it sounds like you guys
are going to have a great time!” Liv turned towards the older woman. “Thanks
Grandma. I really appreciate you watching Sara for me tonight.”

“Think nothing of it, dear. I’m happy to. You deserve some
time to yourself. And, it gives me time to spoil my great-granddaughter here,
without any interference from her mother. Now you go ahead and have a wonderful
time on your date with Cam and don’t worry about a thing here. We’ll be fine.”

“Gram, I told you, it’s not a date.”

Sara and Hannah shared a knowing smile.

“Will you two stop, all ready?” Liv’s cheeks burned red. She
felt like she was back in junior high. She wished it were a real date, but
found it hard to believe that Cam wasn’t involved with somebody else. However,
he hadn’t mentioned anyone special in his life. Of course, she hadn’t asked
either.

“Either way, Liv, I hope you two have a nice time. Stay out
as late as you want,” Hannah said and winked at her.

Liv pretended she hadn’t noticed her Grandma’s wink, wink.
At least the friendly teasing had taken her mind off her jitters. She checked
her cell phone. No messages, no texts.
Well,
she thought,
at least
he hadn’t canceled.
It was five until seven now. She tucked her phone into
her purse along with her lipstick.

“Sara, why don’t you take your food into the kitchen and eat
before it gets cold,” Hannah said. “I’ll join you in a few minutes.” She then
turned toward Liv. She watched as her granddaughter fidgeted with her purse and
then moved in front of the window to watch the lake.

“Relax, Honey.” Hannah came up behind Liv and squeezed her
shoulders. “It’s Cam. You’ve known him forever. You’ll have a great time. I
know it.”

“I know Gram. I just don’t want to have another panic attack
in front of him.”

“I know you don’t. Try to put those thoughts out of your
mind. You can’t control whether you have one or not. You can only control your
thoughts and try to keep positive. Anyway, knowing Cameron, he’ll help you
through it if you do have one.” Hannah continued to reassure Liv.

“You’re right Gram. I just don’t want him to think I’m weak
or defective.” Tears welled in Liv’s eyes.

“He won’t. I’m sure of it. No one thinks that.” Hannah wiped
Liv’s tears away with her thumbs.

“But, Ron…”

“Ron can be an ass at times. And Cam is not Ron.”

“Thanks, Gram. You always know what to say to make me feel
better.” Liv hugged her grandmother.

“Mom, Cam’s here!” Sara called from the kitchen.

Liv’s stomach fluttered. She reminded herself,
it’s just
dinner with an old friend
. “I’m going to go fix my makeup,” Liv called to
her grandmother. “Can you tell him I’ll be right out?”

“Sure thing.” Hannah headed to the living room.

Liv heard the door open as Sara let in Cam. Sara immediately
began to fill him in on all the activities she had planned with her grandma for
the evening. Liv repaired her eye makeup and at the last second spritzed on a
little cherry blossom body mist. She took in one last deep breath in and slowly
exhaled.

As she came around the corner into the living room she
paused and watched Cam. He was laughing with Sara as he rubbed Pup-Pup’s belly.
He looked so natural with them. He glanced up and saw her standing in the hall.
He stood up and smiled at her. He had on a pair of straight-legged khaki’s that
fit his narrow waist perfectly. The white, button-down shirt he’d put with it
was open at the throat revealing a peek of his tanned, muscular chest. Liv
briefly wondered what it would be like to run her hands over his bare chest and
blushed.
Stop that
, she chided herself.
We’re just friends.
She couldn’t help fantasizing about him though. He looked so good. He hadn’t
pulled his hair back, leaving it to hang in waves around his face. Liv stepped
toward him and without thinking, reached up and tucked the strand of hair hanging
in his face behind his ear.

“You look great,” she breathed, realizing her mistake when
her took her out-stretched hand and pressed a kiss to it.

“So do you.” She felt herself blush again as his kiss sent
shivers through her body. She quickly withdrew her hand from his and turned to
her grandmother.

“Gram, you can call my cell phone if you need anything.”

“Quit worrying. Go and have a good time.”

Then Liv turned to where Sara was playing with her puppy.
“And you. Be good. Listen to what your grandmother tells you.”

“I will, Mom.”

Cam studied Liv as she went through the motions of saying
goodbye for the evening. She looked flustered, nervous.
Damn
, he
thought.
I shouldn’t have kissed her hand. Now she’s probably worried I’m
going to put the moves on her.
She’d made it impossible for him to resist
though. Her hand was so close to his mouth when she’d brushed his hair away.
Her perfume intoxicated him and he’d reacted instinctively. She obviously was
being motherly by pushing his hair back, not coming on to him. He needed to
keep reminding himself that she was a married woman with a young daughter. He’d
need to do better for the rest of the evening if he expected to keep her
friendship and not get slapped in the face.

“Are you ready?” Liv’s question brought him back from his
thoughts.

“After you, Livvy.” Cam held the door open for her. He
watched her move through the door and stand on the porch waiting for him to
join her. She had on a blue floral halter dress that hugged her curves. It hit
her just above her knees. Her tanned legs seemed to go on forever. The strappy,
high-heeled sandals she wore with it only added to the effect. He groaned
inwardly.
Why did she have to be married,
he asked himself for the
thousandth time that day.

“Where’s your truck?”

“I just use that when I’m delivering wood. I thought you’d
be more comfortable in my car.” He led her out to his black BMW convertible.

“Wow, very nice.”

Cam held the passenger door open for her and she slid onto
the gray leather seat. He ran over to the driver’s side and got in next to her
as she adjusted her safety belt.

“I thought we’d go to that Italian place down on the
boardwalk, if that’s okay with you.”

“My favorite.” Liv smiled at him.

“I thought so.”

“You have a good memory.”

“Do you want the top up or should I leave it down?”

“Whatever you want is fine with me.”

“What do you want, though?”

“Leave it down. It’s a nice evening.”

“Down it stays then.” Cam turned the ignition over and
shifted the car into reverse. The stereo was on and the first rifts of Green
Day’s “Good Riddance” began to play.
Another favorite. Good memory, indeed,
she thought as she hummed along.

The Bistro was crowded for a Thursday evening. Cam circled
through the parking lot twice before finally finding a spot. He put the top up
and came around to open the door for Liv.

“I can’t believe it’s so crowded tonight. Do you want to go
somewhere else instead?” she asked.

“I’m not in a hurry unless you are. I don’t mind waiting.”

“Me either.” Liv breathed a sigh of relief. Ron never liked
waiting for a table and often caused scenes at restaurants. They’d end up
driving around for an hour looking for a place with no wait. By the time they
found one, they could have been done eating at the first place. It never made
sense to Liv.

Cam put their name on the waiting list for a table. The
Bistro didn’t take reservations. The hostess told them the wait would be about
45 minutes so they went out to the patio bar to wait.

“Do you want anything to drink from the bar?”

“Lemonade would be great.”

“Got it, lemonade, I’ll be right back.” A few minutes later
Cam returned with two lemonades.

“No beer?” She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Nah, I like a cold one once in a while, but I’m not much of
a beer drinker. Besides, I’m driving.”

Liv took a small sip of her drink. “The lemonade is really
good. Not too sweet and not too sour.”

Cam took a sip and agreed. Liv noticed a couple leaving to
go inside to their table and they snagged the vacated table. Liv swirled her
drink with the straw and took in her surroundings. The light breeze off the
lake felt good against her warm skin. Even though she’d lathered the sunscreen
on, she’d still managed to get a little sunburned across her chest and
shoulders. The beach looked empty compared to earlier in the day. She watched a
pontoon boat glide across the lake. Several fishing boats also puttered by
looking for a good spot to anchor. The sun sat low in the sky, but wouldn’t set
for another couple of hours.

Behind her several couples sat at the bar drinking and
laughing as they waited for their tables. Music played over the speakers, but
was low enough so people could still talk without shouting. A family of four
sat on a wooden bench that ran along the edge of the patio. They played “I spy”
as they waited for their table. Liv was amazed at how well behaved the kids
were being as they waited. In the front window of the restaurant, a red, neon
sign read “The Bistro.” The same sign had hung in the window for more than 20
years. The Bistro, a family-run restaurant, had the best spaghetti, lasagna and
pizza around. The quaint atmosphere and great service kept people coming back
time after time. Over the years, Liv had eaten many meals at the restaurant.
Her older sister, Jen, had been good friends with the owner’s daughter, Bella.
The summer between Jen’s junior and senior year of high school, she had
waitressed with Bella at The Bistro. Liv was only 14 back then and wanted so
much to be like her sister.

Liv and Cam’s small table for two was on the edge of the
patio. Liv sat back in the metal chair and smoothed her dress over her legs
nervously.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I’m good. Actually, I’m better than good.” Liv smiled,
suppressing her growing anxiety.

“I am too. You seemed so far away a minute ago.”

“I was just thinking back to the summer my sister Jen
waitressed here. The place hasn’t changed much since then.”

“Some things don’t need changing.” Cam smiled and finished
off his lemonade. He set the glass of ice and lemon wedges on the table. “What
is Jen up to these days?”

“She’s an art teacher at an elementary school near our
hometown. She really enjoys the kids. She’s taught there three years now. In
her spare time, she’s redecorating the house she just bought.”

“It sounds like she’s busy. Does she have any kids herself?”

“No. She was engaged four years ago, but her fiancée broke
it off a few weeks before the wedding. Jen wouldn’t talk much about what
happened. She hasn’t really dated much that I know of since then. She’s pretty
much focused on her career right now.”

“Well, she has plenty of time to find the right guy.”

“True. What about your brother, Brad? Did he marry Leah?”

Cam coughed. “No. They were only together that one summer.
She was just one of a long string of girls my brother’s dated over the years.
He always seems to have a flavor of the month. He’s in between women right now.
He got his law degree and is partner in my father’s firm.”

“So your Dad’s still working?” She began to relax as they
talked. As soon as she stopped worrying about panicking, the anxiety flowed out
of her body.

“Yeah, he’s talked about retiring off and on, but he likes
being important too much.” Cam laughed.

“Well at least it sounds like they’re both happy.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Cam frowned and changed the
subject. “What about your parents? I noticed the t-shirt you had on the other
day. Is your mother okay?”

Liv had forgotten she’d been wearing one of her breast
cancer awareness t-shirts the other night. She shook her head yes. “Mom was
diagnosed with breast cancer last fall. She had a small tumor in her right
breast. She felt the lump during a self-examine, saw the doctor the next day
and went in for a mammogram and breast MRI three days later. The doctors did a
needle biopsy during the MRI. It came back positive, but luckily it was in the
earliest stages. The surgeon gave her a couple of choices in treatment, but in
the end my mom decided to have a mastectomy with the reconstructive surgery. I
can’t say I blame her. I would have done the same in her place. It still amazes
me how fast it all happened.”

“How’s she doing now?”

“Oh, she’s doing great. After the surgery she had one
six-week round of chemo. She finished that up about six months ago. She and my
Dad decided to take a long Caribbean vacation this summer to celebrate life.
They seem to be having a great time from the postcards they’ve been sending.”