The Child Whisperer (44 page)

The 4 Types of Parents:
Motivations, Challenges, and Tips

L
et’s take a moment to talk about
you.

After all, you’re becoming a Child Whisperer. A moment of self-reflection will be supportive to you in becoming the best Child Whisperer you can be.

Just as your child expresses a dominant Energy Type, so do you. Maybe you already knew your Energy Type before picking up this book. Or you discovered it during your reading. Or maybe you’re still not sure about your Energy Type. Wherever you are in your own journey to self-discovery, these explanations of the 4 Types of parents can help you better understand your own unique interaction with your child.

You express all 4 Types to some degree. But certain motivations are more dominant for certain Types of parents. When our children aren’t the same Type as we are, we can be counterproductive and wound our children because we’re not separating our nature from our parenting approach, or because we’re not living true to our own nature. In order to become a Child Whisperer, you need to live true to your own nature. If you are not, it can be challenging to see and support your child’s true nature. Your own childhood wounds may be getting in the way of allowing your child to live their truth.

We need to understand ourselves clearly enough that we can step back and ask ourselves, “How do my children need me to show up in a way that’s true to them?”

Important!
One last thing before you read up on the 4 Types of parents. Parents tend to be their own worst critics. They see where they fall short, rather than where they succeed. Even parents who are not Type 4s see their flaws so keenly! While you read these descriptions, focus on remaining in an energy of love, both for yourself and for your child.

The Type 1 Parent

Parenting Priorities
:
For an upward, light Type 1 parent, making sure their children are happy and having fun is really important to them. They love having all their family together, enjoying each other’s company, having fun and laughing together. They check in on their children with the intent to ensure they are happy. When their children are stressed or having problems, they want to make things lighter and easier for them.

Their Concern
:
These parents might worry that their random nature makes them inadequate in some way. They may experience anxiety or frustration over things they did not follow through on. They may judge their success as a parent by standards that are not true to their upward, light nature—like how much structure they can maintain, how much they get done as a parent, and how efficient a household they run. If this is the case, they will always feel like they are falling short and are ineffective parents. They may blame themselves if their child is unhappy.

Child Whisperer Tip for Inspiration:
Let go of anything that brings you down. Use this affirmation: “I am consistent in all the things that really matter. I am trusting that everything else takes care of itself.” Change your standards of success to ones that match your nature, like, “How happy are my children?” “How much fun are we having together?” “How much hope and positive energy do I add to their lives?” Getting things done is always going to happen—after all, you are a parent. Just don’t make it your standard of measurement for being a great parent!

Remember to keep your energy light, but do not insist that your children need to be light with you. For example, Type 2 and 4 children may be hurt or offended when their Type 1 parent makes light of their worries and concerns. Even though the Type 1 parent is just trying to lighten things up, the energy does not match their child’s nature and the child may misunderstand. You don’t have to be serious in order to show that you care, but you don’t have to insist that your children look on the bright side as quickly as you naturally do.

Tip for taking care of yourself and your nature:
If you are a Type 1 parent, do what you need and want to in order to keep things light for yourself. What do you have in your life to look forward to that’s just for you? You can’t channel your gift of light and hope to others if you’re not taking care of yourself.

The Type 2 Parent

Parenting Priorities
:
More emotionally oriented, the Type 2 parent focuses on helping children feel comfortable. They are sensitive to the emotional atmosphere of their home and the emotional state of their children. They check in emotionally with their children to make sure that everyone is feeling comfortable. They want to create a safe place for their children.

Their Concern
:
These emotionally connected parents are the most natural worriers of the bunch, about any possible detail. They may try to prevent their child’s potentially bad choices or any uncomfortable confrontations between family members.

Child Whisperer Tip for Inspiration:
Get in connection with your inner peace using the visualization of a river. Let worries about your children float down that river, instead of trying to stop them. Whatever you do as a parent, allow it to come from a feeling place. Connect with your children from the heart, no matter your child’s Type. Instead of worrying, trust your heart!

Tip for taking care of yourself and your nature:
Do things that help you connect with what’s comfortable in your life. Don’t take emotional responsibility for everyone else’s stuff. Because you are so emotionally tuned in to what is happening with your children, you may pick up the negative energies of everyone in the family. If you do this, your energy can feel like mud to your Type 1 or Type 3 children. Send your love to your children, but don’t smother them with it.

The Type 3 Parent

Parenting Priorities
:
More physically active, Type 3 parents focus on engaging children in activity. They give the family a forward push to get things done and experience the physical aspect of life. They often look around to make sure that their children have enough to do. They move fast and want their family to move fast, too.

Their Concern
:
These active, dynamic parents can potentially overreact. They may worry in hindsight that their fiery energy affects their children in negative ways. They may move too fast for their children or push too hard. The best way to work with this is to own it and give your children opportunities to voice their concerns and frustrations.

Child Whisperer Tip for Inspiration:
Practice being still for a few moments each day in order to avoid using “doings” as your measurement of success—both for yourself and your child. Do whatever you need to in order to stay in touch with your physical body. Notice how much you may push your children in ways that may be overwhelming and stressful to their nature if they are different from yours. Be mindful when you are getting ready to leave the house, and also when you are out and about, not to hurry your children faster than is natural for them. You move at a quicker pace on your own, so when you are with your children make some adjustments to honor all of you.

Tip for taking care of yourself and your nature:
Create space in your life to get a lot done without rushing your child. If you are a Type 3 parent, you will get frustrated if you are not able to move a lot of things forward. Consider hiring a parents’ helper—a teenager in the neighborhood or someone similar—to come into your house and entertain your children to give you some time to get things done. You don’t even need to leave the house, but you will appreciate the extra hands. As a Type 3, you will be a better parent when you feel you got some things done and then can relate to your child at their energy level.

The Type 4 Parent

Parenting Priorities
:
Structured and good at running very efficient households, Type 4 parents focus most readily on their children’s progress. They create routines and systems in their home that keep everyone on track. They regularly check up on how their children are progressing.

Their Concern
:
These naturally organized parents can get lost in rules and sequences. They may worry about missing out on spontaneous moments with their children, simply because they are not built into the system.

Child Whisperer Tip for Inspiration:
Allow more spontaneity into your life, rather than trying to always keep everything running on track and in the timelines that you want. Don’t let your logical mind override your intuitive mind. Allow some room for synchronicity, even if this openness is something you need to consciously plan. Enjoy the journey. Your mind is so sharply focused on what to improve that you may pass by the moment of fulfillment that’s being offered. Recognize your current successes!

Tip for taking care of yourself and your nature:
Create standards of measurement that fit your child’s nature. If you are a Type 4, you parent with deep commitment and strong values. You want to be the best parent. You may end up criticizing yourself as a parent too much if your standards for your children are not aligned with who they truly are. Energy Profiling will help you align your standards with your children’s gifts so you can assess their progress more accurately.