The Courtship of Dani (9 page)
A warning voice niggled at her but she pushed it aside. For once in her life she didn't want to be sensible or intelligent or reasonable. Her body ached for fulfillment—fulfillment only Jason could give her.
In the bedroom Jason set her on her feet and pulled her into his embrace, kissing her deeply, slowly. Then he pulled back, and dark eyes locked with blue ones as he found the zipper at the front of her robe and eased it down. Slipping his hands beneath the folds of the collar, he eased it off her shoulders, and the robe whispered to the floor to collapse in a soft, sensuous heap.
A quivering weakness attacked Dani's knees when Jason stepped back and looked at her. "Lovely," he said in a low, rasping whisper. "So lovely."
His eyes were hot, his face flushed and rigid with desire. The fevered need in him was scorching and almost palpable, and suddenly panic began to well up inside Dani. But before it could take hold Jason's mouth was on hers again, and every coherent thought was driven from her mind.
Jason's bent knee pressed into the mattress, and Dani was vaguely aware of being eased back onto the bed, of Jason stretching out beside her. Then everything inside her went all hot and liquid as his calloused hands stroked her bare flesh and he began to whisper incredible things in her ear.
With a low growl of frustration Jason rolled to his feet, and before Dani could regain her senses he had shed his clothes and was back beside her. She gasped when he pulled her close once again and her breast encountered his warm, hair-covered chest.
Jason shifted to one side and stroked her slowly from breast to hip to knee and back again, his rough fingers caressing the silken skin lovingly. He kissed her deeply, thoroughly, pressing her down into the pillow, and Dani could only cling to him, her fingers digging convulsively into the warm, firm muscles in his back.
A sigh escaped her as his mouth left hers and began stringing moist kisses and impassioned love words over her neck and collarbone and finally down into the valley between her breasts. He cupped a pearly globe in his rough palm, and as his mouth closed around its pink crest the sigh became a moan.
Ecstasy shot through Dani, and she writhed beneath him, her back arching toward the delicious tugging. "Oh, Jason. Jason!"
"I know, love. I know." Jason raised his head and looked at her, his eyes burning, his features blurred with passion. "Sweetheart, is it safe for you? Or do you want me to protect you?"
It took a moment for his words to penetrate the thick mists of passion that swirled around Dani—still another for their meaning to register. But when they did an icy chill gripped her, and Dani froze.
Jason felt her stiffen beneath his hands and he grew still. "What's wrong, love?" he asked in a bewildered voice.
Ignoring his question, Dani scrambled for the edge of the bed, and Jason groaned. "For God's sake, surely you're not going to stop now?"
Dani stood and snatched up her robe from the floor, pulling it on with jerky movements. Zipping it securely up to her throat, she turned shakily to face him, composing her features as best she could. Her insides were quivering wildly but she knew she had to tell him something. She owed him an explanation. And then she had to get him out of there.
"That's exactly what I'm doing," she said in a voice that wasn't quite as steady as she would have liked. "This was all a mistake. A stupid mistake I should never have let happen."
"Mistake, hell!" Jason thundered, his bewilderment quickly turning to anger. "You wanted me just as much as I wanted you. Everything was fine until—" he stopped suddenly, his eyes narrowing on her white face, the wary, defensive look in her eyes "—until I asked if you were protected," he finished in a puzzled tone. "Dammit, Dani! That's a perfectly reasonable question. One any responsible male would ask. I would think you'd have more of a right to be angry if I didn't ask."
"I'm not angry. I told you; this whole thing is my fault. I shouldn't have let things get out of hand." He was lying there glowering at her, splendidly naked, and Dani wished desperately that he would put his clothes back on, or at least cover himself with something.
"Are you trying to tell me that you're not protected?" Taking her silence for a yes, he continued in a milder tone. "Why didn't you just say so, sweetheart? If that's all that's bothering you, you can quit worrying. I'll take care of it."
When he moved as though to climb from the bed, Dani took a hasty step backward. "No. No, you don't understand." The words tumbled out in a panic stricken rush, and Jason stilled instantly, his brows lifting as he noted the look of acute embarrassment and desperation on her face. But then pride came to her rescue and Dani tilted her chin, meeting his eyes squarely. In a calm, controlled voice she said, "I'm not protected because I've never had to be. Ever."
It was suddenly so quiet the very air around them seemed to quiver with tension.
A series of emotions chased one after the other across Jason's rugged face: shock, confusion, then sheer incredulity that quickly developed into a frown.
"Are you—" he shook his head, as though unable to accept the thoughts going around in his mind "—are you saying that you're still a virgin!"
Dani didn't reply, but the defiant sparkle in her eyes provided all the answer he needed.
"But...why? How? God in heaven, you're...how old did you say? Twenty-five? Twenty-six?"
"Twenty-eight," Dani snapped icily. "And what does my age have to do with it? I wasn't aware there was a legal age limit on virginity. It's my body and my decision and absolutely none of your business."
"Good Lord." For a moment Jason seemed incapable of speech. He just stared at her in stunned silence. "Do you mean to tell me there weren't any men in that college you went to?" he blurted out finally, giving his head a sharp shake as though to clear it.
"No, only boys. If you don't count the few lecherous professors who tried their hand."
Jason fell silent once again. Then, exhaling a long sigh, he swung his feet to the floor and propped his elbows on his knees. His fingers disappeared into the shock of blond hair as he cradled his head in his hands.
Dani stood with her arms folded tightly across her midriff, watching him warily while the uneasy silence stretched out between them. In the soft light from the bedside lamp his skin glowed like burnished bronze. The curly mat of hair on his chest and the light dusting on his arms and legs were pale and glittery in contrast. Dani could see the tight, bunched muscles across his shoulders and back, the straining tendons in his arms, and she knew that he was struggling for control.
She felt wretched—defensive and angry and terribly guilty all at the same time. It was her fault. She should have stopped him sooner. But she hadn't known it could be like that. She had no defense against Jason's brand of seduction, against the way he could make her feel. And darn it! She had the right to say no, didn't she?
Still, she knew that he had a right to his anger too, and as she watched him she braced herself for it.
Jason sat that way for several seconds, then finally he pulled his palms down over his face and looked up at her. "All right. All right, I guess I can see your point about college, but what about afterwards? Surely you met someone who interested you during these past eight years?"
He was beautiful—magnificently male, sitting there unself-consciously naked, and the sight of him caused a strange fluttering in the pit of Dani's stomach. Her gaze darted away, focusing first on the pile of discarded clothing on the floor, but that was almost as bad, and she looked quickly down at her hands, which were plucking nervously at the folds in her caftan. "That is none of your business. And for heaven's sake! Will you put something on!" she snapped, throwing him a harried glance before spinning around.
A ghost of a smile played around Jason's mouth as he studied her back and her defensive stance. Casually he reached down and pulled the corner of the bedspread across his lap. "Okay, Dani," he said in a gentle rasp. "Why don't you go into the living room and wait while I get dressed."
Dani marched out without a word.
She was standing by the French doors that led onto the balcony when Jason emerged from the bedroom. Her back was straight and rigid, her head held high, her eyes fixed vacantly on the stormy night. Rain pelted the small panes and streaked down in tiny rivulets. The wind whipped the potted plants on her balcony and black clouds roiled overhead.
Jason approached her slowly, and though Dani saw his reflection in the glass she didn't turn or acknowledge his presence in any way. He stopped just behind her, not touching, but she could feel the heat from his body all across her back.
"I take it that you've never been in love, or had a serious relationship?"
Silence greeted the question.
"Why, Dani? I know you're not frigid. You couldn't be and respond to me the way you did."
Dani's cheeks flamed, but she just stared out the window.
Jason's hands settled on the rounded curves of her shoulders and began to massage gently. "You're certainly beautiful enough. It can't be from lack of opportunity." His moist breath filtered through the hair at her crown and made her scalp prickle, and Dani shrugged against his hold.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Dani, we have to talk."
"No, we do not. Look, it was a mistake. It never should have happened, but it's over with so let's just forget it. Now will you please leave."
"Sweetheart, don't be ridiculous. You know we can't just ignore what happened between us." Jason laughed shortly and shook his head. "I promise you I have no intention of forgetting it."
Dani turned to face him, her chin tilted at a defiant angle. "You'll have to, I'm afraid," she said with all the cool hauteur she could muster. "Because, you see, I'm simply not cut out for an affair."
Jason's eyes narrowed on her face. Despite the painful tightness in her chest and the watery sensation in her legs, Dani endured the intent perusal without so much as blinking. After a moment he smiled. Reaching out, he ran a rough finger down her cheek. "We'll just have to see, won't we?"
He strolled to the sofa and stepped into his loafers then plucked up his jacket from the chair, slung it over his shoulder and headed for the small entryway. "Good night, Dani."
A moment later Dani heard the front door click shut behind him. And then the only sounds were the patter of the rain against the glass and the heavy thudding of her heart.
For a countless time Dani stood, unmoving. But then finally, she walked to the camel-back sofa and sat down. She pulled her feet up, and with her arms locked around her bent legs, rested her chin on her knees and stared into space. She felt fragile—all quivery and achy, as though she might break apart at any moment. Pressing her lips together, Dani fought against the desire to weep.
He wants an affair, Dani. A brief fling. So, all right, you 're attracted to him. Maybe even a little bit in love with him. And it would probably be exciting and wonderful while it lasted. You know that when it was over you'd be hurt. So, no matter how tempted you are, you simply can't allow him to use you like that.
Dani sighed heavily. It seemed that the one thing certain in life was that everyone used you if they could, one way or another.
It was difficult to accept, but it was a lesson she had learned early. Dani stirred restlessly as she recalled all those times as a young child when she had lain awake at night listening to her parents quarreling. The many times she had heard her mother's strident threats to take Dani and leave if her father tried to get a divorce.
Her father had loved her, so he had stayed. But he had not been happy. None of them had.
She had been barely seven at the time of her father's death, but she could clearly remember that day, only a month after his funeral, when her mother had taken her to the nuns at St. Anne's. While her mother had been secluded with several people in the office, Dani had been left sitting on a bench in the hall for what had seemed like hours, growing more and more terrified as she listened to those hushed voices filtering through the door. When her mother had finally emerged she had been nervous and fidgety.
"For Pete's sake, don't look at me like that!" she'd snapped when they had been left alone in a small ante room. As she glared at Dani, her expression had contained a curious mixture of guilt and resentment. "It's just that I can't take care of you right now, that's all."
Dani had blinked away the threatening tears and stared at her, saying nothing, and after a moment her mother's tone had softened. "Look, this is only temporary. I promise. Just as soon as I'm settled on the west coast I'll send for you."
But of course she hadn't. For even as she had made the promise, the documents containing her signature, relinquishing all rights to her child, lay on the Mother Superior's desk.
The memories brought back the old, familiar hurt that stabbed at Dani's heart, and she closed her eyes against it. She had merely been a useful tool. A pawn. And when she had no longer been of use, she had been cast aside.
But never again. Dani's eyes opened to narrow slits and her jaw hardened. She would not allow anyone to do that to her again. Not anyone.
❧
Jason walked into his apartment and slammed the door behind him. Pocketing his keys, he stepped down into the sunken living room and marched straight to the bar in the corner, tossing his jacket over the back of a chair on the way.
A virgin. God in heaven!
He poured himself a stiff shot of twelve-year-old Scotch and took a healthy swig.
After topping off his drink, Jason wandered over to stand by the window. Through the rain-splattered glass the city lights bled together, a watery, glittering blur that stretched to the horizon. Jason sipped absently from the glass of Scotch and viewed the display through narrowed eyes. "As pure as the driven snow," he muttered in a voice that was tinged with wonder. "Who would have thought it."
Shaking his head, Jason gave a short, mirthless laugh. That sure blows your plans all to hell and gone, St. Clair, he chided, lifting his glass to his reflection in mock salute. Despite that bit of face-saving before he'd left her, he'd never seduced a virgin in his life and he wasn't about to start with Dani.
So what do you do now? With a heavy sigh, Jason raked his fingers through his hair, letting his hand slide down the back of his head to knead the tense muscles in his neck. If you have any sense you'll forget her. You know plenty of beautiful women. Beautiful, willing, experienced women. What's the point in tying yourself up in knots over a twenty-eight-year-old virgin, for Pete's sake?
The chime of the doorbell cut into Jason's brooding thoughts, and he swung around, startled. A quick glance at his watch brought a frown. It was after eleven. Who the devil— The bell chimed again, and Jason set his drink on the table beside the sofa and stalked to the door.
When he jerked the door open his pale brows shot upward. "Linda. What are you doing here?"
"Hello, darling. May I come in?"
Jason hesitated. Then his mouth twisted in a wry half-smile. "Sure. Why not." Moving back, he motioned her in.
Linda stepped past him and sailed into the living room. When Jason followed a moment later she had arranged herself on the sofa in a seductive pose, snuggled back in a corner, arms draped over the back and arm. Her long legs were shown to an advantage, stretched out along the cushions, knees slightly bent and turned to one side. Her smile, her sultty gaze were a blatant invitation.
"I haven't heard from you in weeks, darling." Her mouth pouted prettily and the look in her eyes was part accusation, part seductive allure. "So I decided if Mohammed won't come to the mountain..." She smiled and waved her hand airily and let the sentence trail away.
"It's a little late to drop by for a visit, isn't it?"
Linda shrugged. "I was on my way home from having dinner with some friends and decided to stop by on the spur of the moment."
"I see." Jason sat down on the opposite end of the sofa and turned sideways to face her, laying an arm along the back. Briefly he wondered how she had gotten by the security guard in the lobby but then dismissed the thought. What the hell, he told himself. Hadn't he just decided that another woman was what he needed?
"I called you here several times and got no answer. And of course, that witch of a secretary you have won't ever tell me a thing, so it's useless to call you at the office. I assume you've been working hard, as usual."
Jason sighed inwardly at the question in her voice. Linda had no right to act possessive, but she had been showing a tendency in that direction more and more. He'd forgotten that in the past few weeks. Hell, he'd forgotten Linda in the past few weeks. "That, and traveling a bit," he said in a bored voice.
"Really, Jason! I know that your business deals take a lot of your time and you enjoy the challenge, but enough is enough." She leaned forward and placed her hand over his. Smiling alluringly into his eyes, she slowly raked her red-enameled nails across his skin. "I missed you, darling," she murmured huskily. "Very much."
Relenting a bit, Jason allowed his mouth to crook upward in a half-smile. "Did you?" he asked with only a trace of cynicism. He turned his hand and clasped hers. "Well, don't worry. Things are rocking along fairly well now. And I doubt that I'll be taking any trips in the next few weeks."
"Good." Linda swung her legs to the floor and scooted close, and as she pressed herself against him Jason's arms automatically enfolded her. Her hands smoothed up over his chest and shoulders and her fingers plowed through the thick hair at his nape to bring his head down to her waiting lips. "Because I want you all to myself for a while. And you want me too, don't you Jason?" she drawled seductively.
Her hot, red mouth fused with his in an erotic kiss that should have sent his blood pressure soaring ... but somehow it didn't. Jason's arms tightened around her and he returned the kiss a bit desperately, but all he felt was revulsion, a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach, and after a moment he quit even trying to force a response. You asked for this, you jerk, he berated himself harshly, and for a while he remained still, impassively accepting the voracious thrusts of Linda's tongue. But his apathy seemed to inflame Linda, and her ardor intensified, until finally Jason grasped her shoulders and gently eased her away.
Linda blinked, then her eyes went wide at the look on Jason's face. "What's the matter?" she demanded in a stunned voice. "Why did you stop?"
"It's no good, Linda." Regret shone from his eyes and gentled the rough texture of his voice. "It just won't work for us anymore."
Linda's face tightened with rage and she jerked out of his arms. "It's that woman, isn't it? That Danielle person. She's the reason you're giving me the brush-off, isn't she?" she spat at him in a voice that dripped venom.
"Linda, come on, be reasonable. You know that—"
"No! I don't want to hear it!" She jumped up off the sofa and stood with her hands planted on her hips, glaring down at him. "Damn you, Jason St. Clair. I was planning on marrying you."
Jason's face grew cold as ice. "You might wait until you're asked before making plans like that," he said flatly, all trace of compassion gone from his voice.
"You're not going to get away with this, do you hear me! You may be rich and powerful, but so is my father. He'll ruin you when I tell him what you've done."
"What I have done is end a relationship that was going nowhere." Jason rose and grasped Linda's arm. "Now I think it's time we said good night. And goodbye," he said in a calm but firm voice as he led her toward the foyer. ' 'And you can tell your father for me that anytime he feels lucky, he knows where to reach me."
When he opened the door Linda jerked her arm from his grasp and stood for a minute glaring at him, her chest heaving. Then slowly, a malicious, feline smile replaced the outraged fury in her face, and her eyes glittered with contemptuous amusement. "I should have realized that you wouldn't be able to resist the challenge of a woman like that, so you go ahead and have your fun. But when you get tired of bedding down with a computer and you're ready for a real woman, give me a call." With smug self-assurance, she patted his cheek, then waggled her fingers at him and sauntered out. "Bye, darling."
With a wry shake of his head Jason shut the door. He walked back into the living room, rubbing his neck wearily. The whole scene had left a bad taste in his mouth. Still, Jason knew if she had mentioned the word love just once he would have handled the situation differently. But love played no part in Linda's plans. Jason didn't try to fool himself on that score. She wanted him for his money and the power that went with it. And because he could satisfy her in bed.
Without stopping he went straight to the phone and called the security guard in the lobby. The instant the man answered, Jason barked, "This is Jason St. Clair. Miss Hastings is on her way down. See to it that she is escorted safely to her car. And from now on, before you let anyone come up. check with me. Is that clear?"
"Y-yes sir, Mr. St. Claire." the hapless man answered. "Whatever you say."
Jason started to hang up, then changed his mind and added, "That is... anyone but Miss Danielle Edwards. She is to be shown up at once."
"Gotcha, Mr. St. Clair."
After returning the receiver to its cradle Jason stood there for a moment with his hand still on it. Then suddenly he threw his head back and gave a bark of hollow laughter. "Oh, St. Clair, you fool. That's a helluva way to go about putting a woman out of your life."
Jason sprawled on the sofa and slumped down on his spine, his legs thrust straight out, hands folded across his middle, and scowled at the tips of his shoes. "And don't hold your breath waiting for Dani to show up on your doorstep either, chump."
He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Why the devil hadn't he taken what Linda had offered? At least it would have relieved this intolerable ache. But even as his mind posed the question, the answer came rushing in on him, though he tried to push it away. Because you want more than just a woman to ease your need. You want that something special you've felt with only one woman. That urge to protect and possess, the tenderness and caring all mixed up with the passion. Hell, man, you want love and commitment. And you want it from Dani.
Jason went perfectly still, and opened his eyes slowly. "I'm in love with her." He spoke the words aloud, his soft, gravelly voice filled with wonder.
The admission brought both relief and consternation. Sitting up straight, he reached out and picked up the glass he'd left on the end table and took a quick swallow. Love and commitment meant marriage, and he hadn't planned on that just yet. Eventually, yes, but even so, love hadn't entered into it. He wanted heirs, progeny, someone to give meaning to his life, someone to eventually take over everything he'd worked so hard to attain. It had been part of his long-range plan, and he'd always thought he would probably choose a daughter of one of his wealthy business associates. Someone like Linda.
Jason shuddered at the thought. At one time he'd actually toyed with the idea of marrying her, but the prospect had held less and less appeal on closer acquaintance. On meeting Dani he had dismissed it from his mind altogether.
But dammit! It bothered him to have his plans disrupted. He had escaped his dirt-poor beginnings through careful planning, fixing his sights on a goal and keeping them there, come hell or high water. That, and working like ten demons.
When he realized the trend of his thoughts, Jason laughed aloud at his arrogance. Why the devil was he even arguing with himself? It didn't matter if he had to scrap every plan he'd ever made, because there was nothing on God's green earth that would make him give her up. He loved her. It was that simple.
He remembered how breathtaking she had looked, lying there naked on the bed with all that glorious hair spread out on the pillow, how she had felt against him, her body warm and silky, soft and inviting, the heavenly woman scent of her, the passionate way she had responded to him, and desire rippled through him in a hot wave. Lord! He loved everything about her: her beauty, her intelligence, her exquisite femininity.
And face it, you're delighted that she's still a virgin
. Jason's mouth twisted into a scornful grimace at the unbidden thought, but he couldn't deny it. It's stupid. Crazy, he told himself disgustedly. Not to mention downright chauvinistic. He didn't believe in the double standard, for pity's sake.
Jason tilted his head back and tossed the last of the straight whiskey down his throat, closing his eyes as he felt it sear all the way down. But dammit! There was no point in denying it; he loved it that no other man had ever touched her. And he was damn well going to see to it that no other man ever did, he vowed silently.
Becoming suddenly aware of the fierce possessiveness of his thoughts, Jason laughed softly. "It must be some primitive instinct bred in the bones, left over from man's Neanderthal days," he muttered to the ceiling as he laced his fingers behind his head and settled back against the sofa cushions.
From the beginning Dani had been as wary as a young doe, and after tonight she'd probably be even more so. He was going to have to proceed very carefully. Deep in thought, Jason stared at the ceiling through narrowed eyes, but after a moment, as his plans began to take shape, his mouth curved in a slow, dangerous smile. "Look out, Dani, my beautiful, elusive love. You are about to come under siege."
