The End of the Rainbow (13 page)

ELEVEN

“Well, this is it. Are you ready?” Khalil asked as he pulled his car into the parking lot of Cedars Sinai Medical Center.

“Do I really have a choice?” Tyrin asked, looking straight ahead. “It’s weird, one minute you think that you have everything under control, the master of your universe, and the next minute you’re praying and asking the real master to help you out. I guess this is a sign that I am not the boss and I better start recognizing who really is.

Khalil leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Sometimes you have to be broken down before you can be built back up. You are going to be a great father.”

“We are going to be great fathers.” Tyrin retorted back with a smile. “I love you more than you know and I want to thank you for riding this out with me.”

“I love you too. This was just a speed bump to make us stronger. Our work is going to be cut out for us, but hell, who would make better dads than us?” Khalil said with a smile, followed by another kiss.

They made their way through the hospital and exited the elevator on the 4th floor. Darion was standing in the hallway pacing back and forth. When he noticed the two men walking toward him he let out a sigh of relief. He excitedly gave them both an embrace, and they proceeded like The Three Musketeers into the office of Dr. Elizabeth Kline.

“Are you nervous?” Darion asked Tyrin as he sat next to him in the waiting area.

“I don’t think so. It hasn’t been finalized yet, so I guess I am just a little antsy about hearing if I am a match or not. But I really wouldn’t say that I am nervous. How about you?”

“Yes. I am definitely nervous. I want so badly for this to work out that I really haven’t been able to sleep since I met you. Ihate to say it, but you are Caleb’s last hope. He is a strong kid but I know that he is growing weaker. I hear it in his voice everyday. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I lost him,” His voice was heavy and filled with anxiety. It was obvious that the entire situation was beginning to wear on him.

“Did they give him an amount of time?” Khalil asked as he looked up from the Architectural Digest magazine he was gazing through.

“Two months. If this doesn’t work, they estimated that he will only have two months left.” he said softly, like he hated to hear himself utter those words.

“It’s going to work,” Khalil reassured him. “Tyrin will be a match, don’t lose faith.”

Darion looked at him and tried to smile but he had been forcing it for so long that it started to appear rehearsed. He lowered his head and stared at the ground, “I’ve never interacted with a gay couple before the two of you.” he looked up at them and continued, “I actually thought all gays were white, or white washed. You never really get a good depiction of them because of all the stereotypical talk shows. They only show really effeminate men or those that take things too far. The ones that always seem to act like women and to be honest that is really disgusting to me. But now that I have met the two of you, I actually see another side of the whole gay thing. When Tyrin explained to me that he was in a relationship with a dude I was really surprised because he seemed so manly, if you will. And then when I met you, and you seemed straight too, I was really baffled.”

“Thanks. I guess,” they both said in confused unison.

“I can’t really explain it properly. I am a Christian and although I don’t condone a lot of things, homosexuality just seems like the icing on the cake. Men who act like women are a total abomination in my opinion. But the two of you are men who act like men, who like men. I am not trying to offend you but I have just never been confronted with it before.”

Tyrin sat between the two of them watching the woman that was sitting directly opposite. He looked at how she was trying her best to ignore the conversation they were having but her body language showed that it was a topic in which she would have loved to interject into. Khalil chuckled and began to express himself, “Most straight men haven’t been exposed to gay men that act like me or Tyrin. I am a Christian as well Darion, and I believe that some situations aren’t for us to understand right now. Some of us have our own path to follow before we get to where we are supposed to be. Everyone has a cross of his or her own to bear. I can’t bear yours and you can’t bear mine. I don’t know what you may be dealing with and you can’t possibly understand what the person next to you is dealing with. As far as my sexuality is concerned that is just a small part of the person I really am. And to be honest, I don’t perceive it as one my crosses at all.”

“Do you think it’s right? Your sexuality I mean,” he cautiously asked.

“I don’t’ think about it.”

“But you said you are a Christian. So how can you not think about it?” Darion asked with the expectation of receiving a reasonable answer.

“If I spent all my time trying to figure out if it’s right or wrong, I would be idolizing my sexuality more than my God. And He is jealous right?” He gave Darrion a wink and a smile before turning to look at the woman whom was about to burst with words of conviction and condemnation.

“Tyrin Chase,” the receptionist said into the room “Dr. Kline will see you now.

The three anxious men got up and headed toward her office. Once inside, Khalil and Tyrin sat in the two chairs that were already in front of her desk, while Darion pulled up a chair and sat next to them. He sat on the edge of his seat like a contestant on a game show waiting to hear the million-dollar question.

It was obvious to Dr. Kline that all of them had different levels of anticipation surrounding the situation and she tried her best to stay mindful of that. She watched as they settled into theirseats and found their respective zone of comfort. “Well, good morning gentlemen. It’s good to see all three of you again,” she said as she smiled at each of them individually.

“Good Morning,” they all replied

“All of the tests are back,” she stated while looking directly at Tyrin.

“OK”, Tyrin nervously replied.

Dr. Kline adjusted the files in front of her while never taking her eyes off of Tyrin. He felt as though she were peering straight through him. For some unnerving reason he couldn’t remove his eyes from hers and felt trapped in her glare. Khalil looked at her and wondered why her face was so intense. He readjusted himself in the seat and just chalked it up as a doctor/patient situation, which had nothing to do with him or Darion.

“Mr. Chase, are these the people you want in the room with you while you hear the results?” she asked.

“Yes. This is my partner and this is the uncle of my son. We would all like to know if I am a match for him. You already know the situation so why are you being so clinical?” he answered with a weak smile used to hide his now nervous demeanor.

“Very well,” she said as she flipped open his file.

Khalil looked over at Darion and could have sworn that he saw his heart beating through his shirt. He knew that this meeting meant the world to him and after this was all over he could finally get a good night’s sleep. He had never personally experienced the loss of anyone, nor the expected loss for that matter, so he had compassion for him and wished that his wife, or someone just as close, were here with him. It was unfortunate that he had to do all this legwork alone but it was too late to change all that now.

“Mr. Chase, you are a match,” she said softly with a weak smile. Darion let out a sigh of relief and dropped his head like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders.

Tyrin smiled at her, turned and looked at Khalil with a look of accomplishment and pride. He was a new man, a responsible father that just proved how much he loved his son. He sat there without a care in the world except for booking a flight to Philadelphia to give his son life. Khalil grabbed his lover’s hand and held it in his lap. He was proud that the man he loved was so selfless and stepped to the plate. He was honored to be by his side and knew that this was only the beginning of what they were to share.

The two of them looked at Darion who had tears of joy streaming down his face and at the point in time it was beyond apparent how triumphant an experience this was for him. He had prayed and asked that Caleb’s life be spared so that his sister’s life could continue. He knew that this was his last chance and was so grateful to Tyrin for what he had and was going to do. All of his ideas and opinions about homosexuality and whether it was right or wrong were not in his thoughts at this moment. He was just honored to be in the company of two men that knew the meaning of sacrifice and love. Tyrin placed his free hand on Darion's shoulder and for the first time ever the three of them felt totally united.

“However, there is a problem.” She sternly said, breaking the air of triumph and celebration”We cannot use your kidney.”

“What? Why not?” Tyrin asked in bewilderment. “You just said I was a match.”

“What’s the problem?” Khalil asked.

“I’m confused. Caleb needs this operation. What the hell are you talking about?” Darion chimed in.

She cleared her throat and made the following statement, “Mr. Chase. Your HIV test came back positive.”

A thunderous silence engulfed the room, quite similar to the kind that occurs immediately before a tornado touches the Earth’s terrain. There was no air left in the three of them. The only person that seemed to have any kind of chest movement was Dr. Kline. She exhaled and sat safely behind her desk waiting to see who was going to react first.

While the others tried to swallow the news she had just given them, she calmly awaited the outburst that was destined to come. Whether it be from the one who just found out he had an incurable virus; the one who in need of an explanation as to why his partner of five years is newly diagnosed HIV positive; or the one that was already grieving a loss and now about to make preparation for a second one. She quietly yet nervously sat and anticipated an extreme emotional outburst.

“Is this some kind of a fucking joke?” Tyrin whispered to her between clinched teeth while leaning forward to ensure direct eye contact.

“I’m sorry Mr. Chase, but unfortunately it isn’t.” she responded as she folded her hands together on the desk.

“What the fuck do you mean I’m HIV positive? How in the hell can I be positive? You are out of your fucking mind!” he exclaimed and he further leaned into her desk with a look of murder in his eyes.

“I understand that this may be a shock to you, but we ran the test twice, and both came back with the same results.” she said in a manner that tried to seem in control, but the quavering in her voice made her fear obvious.

“So he can’t help Caleb? My nephew is going to die because this faggot has AIDS!” Darion exclaimed as he angrily looked over at Tyrin.

“Don’t call me a faggot! I’ll beat your ass for that shit!” Tyrin said in his defense.

“Fuck you! Faggot!” Darion yelled back, his tears of joy had transformed into rage.

“OK, I need everyone to calm down. Mr. Chase, you do not have AIDS. HIV and AIDS are not the same and I need you to understand that there is a difference in the diagnosis. If everyone can just compose themselves, I would like to…”

“Did you know your fucking faggot ass boyfriend had AIDS?” Darrion asked Khalil, completely ignoring Dr. Kline’s attempt to calm the situation down, “Well now you know, so I guess you fucking have it too, don’t you?” he said before flipping the chair from underneath him and standing over the two of them like a man gone mad. “That’s just what the fuck y’all nasty motherfuckers get. I can’t believe this shit! My nephew is going to die because of your dirty ass!” Darion grabbed his throbbing temples and tried his best to stay as controlled as possible, but the more he thought about the situation the harder his tears began to fall. “Oh my God, why did she have to sleep with you? Of all the men in the world why did she pick you?” He walked towards the wall and began to pound on it with his fist, trying to ease the pain he was feeling. “You were his last hope.”

Watching Darion did something to Khalil, who had been both motionless and speechless throughout the entire display. He removed his hand from Tyrin’s grasp, got up, and went over to Darion. Slowly and cautiously he put his hands on the hysterically sobbing man and turned him around to face him.

Darion dropped his head on Khalil’s shoulder and let the tears fall more freely than ever, and as Khalil embraced him he felt his eyes begin to water up as well. The tears that formed in his eyes were not from Darion's sadness but from a fear that he may hear the same results for his own life.

Tyrin sat alone and asked her once again if she was absolutely certain that he was infected. She began to explain to him that he had the option of being tested again but it was highly unlikely that the results would be different. “Dr. Kline. How can Tyrin be infected? We have been together for over five years, and the first three years of our relationship we had regular tests done on ourselves to verify our negative status.” Khalil asked with quiet concern.

“HIV does have a hibernation period, but if both of you were tested for three years it is highly unlikely that it would appear at this time.” she said somewhat baffled. “And neither of you have been sexually intimate with anyone outside of your relationship since you’ve been together?”

“No! Of course not.” Khalil immediately answered.

Tyrin sat silent, and as his eyes grew glossy Dr. Kline saw the need to ask him directly. “Mr. Chase, have you been with someone other than your current partner?” Tyrin’s stiff body and lack of response were all the confirmation that Khalil needed to verify the fact; one that he prayed so hard would never happen in his life. His man, his lover, his baby, had in fact been with someone else.“Jesus.” Khalil whispered to himself, as he stared at the back of Tyrin’s head. He felt his heart pounding through his chest as his mind bombarded him with every emotion available. He placed his head on Darion’s shoulder and couldn’t help but to allow his tears to soak the shirt of the person that was already at the end of his rope. They held each other and even though they agonized for different reasons, pain is pain and they both needed each other at that moment. “I need to get checked, don’t I?” A red-eyed Khalil asked from across the room.