The Law of Attraction (20 page)

CHAPTER TWELVE

Ed was helping cook dinner when his phone rang. His mum was making lasagne, and Ed was in the middle of chopping mushrooms. He wiped his hands on the legs of his jeans before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

When he saw Alec’s name on the screen, his heart jumped. He couldn’t think why Alec would be calling him unless it was work related, but that seemed unlikely now the deal was finished. “Hello?”

“Hi.” Alec’s voice was quiet. There was a long pause and what sounded like a sigh.

“Are you all right?” Ed frowned.

“Um… I don’t know, really. Sorry, is this a bad time to talk?”

Gemma—chopping peppers at the kitchen table—let out a cackle of laughter at something their mum had said. On his end of the phone, Alec could probably hear the pop music playing on the radio.

“No, it’s fine. Gimme a sec, I’ll move somewhere quieter.” Ed took the phone away from his ear. “I’m just going to take this in my room,” he told his mum. “Back in a bit.”

She smiled. “No problem. Gem can finish the mushrooms.”

Gemma glared at Ed. “Slacker,” she called after him as he left.

Up in his room, Ed put the phone back to his ear as he sat on the edge of his bed. His heart was beating fast, and he cursed himself for being like a lovesick teenager over Alec. Just the sound of Alec’s voice was enough to send Ed into a tailspin. “What’s up?” he asked. “Where are you? I thought you’d be busy with your parents.”

“I’m sitting in a lay-by about five miles from their house. I had to leave.”

“Why? Alec, what happened?”

“I came out to them, and it went about as well as I’d expected.” Alec’s laugh was bitter. “My father could hardly even look me in the eye.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing. Well… he asked me why I’d lied, so I told him a few home truths. And then he had nothing more to say to me. He wouldn’t even look at me. So I left.”

“Are you going back to London?”

“I suppose.” There was a long silence, and then Alec’s voice was quiet again when he said, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Ed had never heard him sound so lost. “Come here,” he blurted. “I mean… if you want. My mum won’t mind.” He waited, listening to the soft sound of Alec’s breathing. “Okay, no, sorry. Was that a stupid idea? The last thing you want right now is to have to deal with my family. I can come back to London instead if you—”

“No,” Alec cut in. “No. I’d like to come to you. You’re in Worthing, yes? Can you text me your address and postcode? I think it’ll take me a couple of hours to get there from here.”

Bloody hell
. Ed hadn’t expected Alec to take him up on his impulsive offer. But Alec sounded like he could use a friend right now, and Ed wasn’t going to leave him in the lurch. “Okay. I’ll do that as soon as we end the call. Are you sure you’re okay driving. I mean, if you’re upset?”

“I’m okay,” Alec assured him. “I’m feeling weirdly calm, actually, but the driving will give me some time to think and get my head round things. I’ll be fine.”

“Right. Well, travel safe, then, and I’ll see you later. If you need more directions or get lost, just call me.”

“Thanks, Ed. I really appreciate this. Bye for now.”

The call ended, and Ed stared at the screen for a moment before pulling himself together and sending the text with the address.

“Shit,” he muttered, wondering what on earth he’d let himself in for.

Back in the kitchen, he sidled up to his mum at the cooker where she was stirring the sauce for the lasagne. “So… Mum. I have this friend, Alec, who needs some company. I… uh, I told him he could come here. I wasn’t expecting him to agree, but he did. Sorry, I know I should have asked you first, but is it okay if he turns up later?”

Her brow crinkled with concern. “Of course, love. You know any friend of yours is welcome here. I assume he’d rather sleep in your room than on the sofa?”

“Yeah, I should think so.” Ed tried to imagine Alec in his childhood bedroom. The image was a strange one.

“Can you make up an extra bed on the floor for him? There’s the fold-out mattress in the twins’ room that the girls use when they have friends for sleepovers, and a spare duvet and pillows in the top of my wardrobe.”

“Okay.” Ed turned to go.

“Is he all right, this friend of yours?” his mum asked. “Is there anything I need to know about?”

Ed wasn’t sure Alec would be comfortable with him explaining. “I think it’s family stuff… a falling-out,” he said vaguely. “I don’t know all the details yet.”

“Okay. You go and make up that bed, and I’ll add some more veggies to this sauce to make it stretch a little further.”

His mum seemed to pick up on his reluctance to explain more, and Ed was grateful. “Thanks, Mum.”

When he got the fold-out bed from the twins’ room, he was subject to another inquisition: “Who’s coming to stay?” “Do we know him?” “How old is he?” “Is he your boyfriend?”

At least these questions were easy to answer. “He’s called Alec. No, you don’t know him. He’s thirtyish, I think—I’m not actually sure—and no, he’s not my boyfriend.”

Unfortunately
, Ed thought.
But not for want of trying on my part
.

In his own room, Ed fitted the mattress into the space between his single bed and the desk. Once done, there wasn’t a lot of floor space left, just enough to move around the extra bed. When he’d made it up ready for Alec, he went back down to help his mum.

Ed’s nerves mounted as he waited for Alec to arrive. The thought of him being here was thrilling, yet terrifying too. He looked around at the cluttered kitchen. It was steamed up from the cooking, bright paintings that the twins brought home from school were stuck up on the pin board, and there were dirty fingermarks on the wall and worn patches on the lino floor. It was a far cry from Alec’s pristine flat. He wondered what Alec would make of the chaos.

He and his mum were alone in the kitchen now. Gemma had disappeared off with her phone—to text Zac no doubt—and the twins were in the living room with Greg who was watching the football.

“So, how do you know this Alec?” Ed’s mum asked. “I’ve never heard you talk about him before.”

“I work with him. He’s…” Ed’s cheeks heated. “He’s actually my boss.” He didn’t want to give Alec’s secrets away, but his mum was bound to ask Alec about himself, so maybe it was better to explain now. “But we’re friends too.”

His mum raised her eyebrows, and Ed knew the flush on his cheeks was giving him away. “
Just
friends?”

Ed met her enquiring gaze, silently begging her not to press him. “At the moment, yes.”

His heart twisted. He wanted so much more than friendship, and he couldn’t help wondering whether there was a chance for them now. Alec coming out to his parents was huge. Ed hadn’t been expecting that, and he wasn’t sure what it might mean.

Her expression softened. “It sounds complicated.”

“It is.” Ed sighed. “It really is. But I’d rather not talk about it. Alec, he’s… well he’s not out to anyone. Or he wasn’t… so I’m not sure how he’d feel about you knowing.”

“Okay, love.” His mum nodded in understanding. She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. “I’ll be discreet, don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

Ed’s phone chimed with a text. It was from Alec.

Just stopped for petrol. I’ll be there by sixish.

Okay
, Ed replied.

“He’ll be here in about forty-five minutes,” he told his mum. “Is there anything else I can do to help with dinner?”

“You can grate some cheese while I make the white sauce and put the lasagne together. Then we need to chop some veg for the salad too.”

Glad to have something to keep him busy as his tension mounted, Ed got on with the jobs his mum gave him. He couldn’t help his hopes rising along with his nerves, but he felt selfish for thinking about himself. Alec had sounded miserable after his encounter with his parents. Ed was determined to give him some space. If Alec needed him to be a friend rather than a lover, Ed could do that too.

When the doorbell finally rang, Ed nearly tripped over his feet running to answer it. But Alice and Ava beat him to it. Fighting over who got to open the door, they were yelling at each other when they finally pulled it open.

“Hi,” Ed greeted Alec over their heads. “Welcome to the zoo.”

“Hello.” Alec had a carrier bag in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. He was pale and exhausted-looking, and Ed wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms and hug him hard, but the twins were in the way. “Thanks for letting me come.”

“Hello.” Alice finally remembered her manners and greeted Alec with a smile. “I’m Alice, and this is Ava.”

“Hi, Alice. Hi, Ava,” Alec said.

“You need to move, so he can get through the door.” Ed gave Alec an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“What’s in that bag?” Alice asked.

“Alice!” Greg’s voice came from the doorway to the living room. He shot Alice a warning look. “Sorry about my daughter. Hello, I’m Greg.” He stepped forward and offered Alec a hand to shake.

“Alec. Good to meet you, Greg.”

“That was rude, Alice.” Ava’s voice was accusing. “She thinks there might be presents in there,” she added conspiratorially to Alec.

Ed stifled a laugh. Alice wasn’t known for her impulse control.

“Well, she might be right,” Alec said. “But don’t get too excited. The petrol station had rather slim pickings when it came to gifts, and the chocolates are meant for your mum rather than you. But maybe she’ll share.”

“She usually does,” Alice said.

“Speaking of Mum, let me take you through to meet her. She’s busy with dinner,” Ed said. “Leave your bag here for a minute, and we can take it upstairs once we’ve finished the introductions. Gemma’s in her room, but you can meet her later.”

He put his hand on Alec’s lower back as they entered the kitchen, guiding him through the door.

“Alec, this is my mum, Janine. Mum, this is Alec.”

“Hi, Alec. It’s good to meet you.” Ed’s mum came forward and shook the hand that Alec offered.

“Likewise, Janine. I’m so sorry to turn up out of the blue like this. It’s very kind of you to let me stay.” Alec’s cheeks flushed slightly as he spoke, but his voice was soft and sincere.

“It’s no problem at all.”

Alec got a large box of chocolates out of the bag he was holding and offered them to her. “These are for you. I tried to get flowers too, but the ones at the petrol station were so sorry for themselves I didn’t think they’d survive the night.” He smiled ruefully.

“These are lovely, thank you.” She turned to Ed. “Love, why don’t you take Alec up and show him where he’s sleeping. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

“Sure.” Ed was grateful for the excuse to get Alec alone. He could see the tension in his jaw and in the lines around his eyes despite his veneer of charm and smiles. Alec looked as though he was at breaking point.

Ed picked up Alec’s bag in the hallway and led him up the stairs. He opened the door to his room and stepped aside to let him go in first. “You’re in with me, I’m afraid. We don’t have a spare room.”

“That’s fine.” Alec looked around. His gaze lit on Ed’s duvet cover and his lips quirked. “Harry Potter?”

Bugger
. Ed had forgotten about that. “Blame my mum’s sense of humour. She always insists on using this one.”

Alec put his bag down on the mattress on the floor. “Is this one mine?”

“No, you have the proper bed, it’s probably more comfy. I don’t mind taking the one on the floor if you can cope with Harry Potter.”

“Harry Potter’s fine.” Alec moved his bag to the bed and unzipped it. “Is it okay if I get changed? This suit feels a little formal for dinner with your family.”

He was wearing something that looked a lot like what he wore to the office. Ed hadn’t even registered his outfit, as he was used to seeing Alec like that.

“Of course.” Ed went and sat on the edge of the bed while Alec took off his jacket and draped it over the back of Ed’s desk chair. Ed watched as Alec dropped his trousers and unbuttoned his shirt. Alec turned his back to Ed as he changed and the parallel lines of the scars on his back were visible in the bright overhead light, a brutal reminder of why Alec was here.

“Do you want to talk about what happened with your parents?” Ed asked softly.

Alec didn’t reply as he put on an old pair of jeans and a soft-looking T-shirt. He got a grey jumper out of his bag and pulled that over his head, turning to face Ed as his head emerged. He smoothed his rumpled dark hair back into place before he spoke.

“I’m not sure there’s much to say. I told them, so it’s out in the open now. But they didn’t like it. I wasn’t expecting them to.” He shrugged, but it was a tense, painful movement rather than a nonchalant one.

“Come here.” Ed held out a hand.

Alec hesitated for a moment before moving closer and taking it. Ed tugged him down to sit on the bed, and he put his arm around Alec’s shoulders. “It was brave of you to tell them, especially when you knew it would be difficult. How do you feel now you’ve done it?”

Alec took a shaky breath. “Weird. Untethered… lighter somehow. As if I’ve been carrying this massive weight around with me, and now it’s gone I don’t know what to do with myself. But it was horrible. Even though I should have known it would be like that, I couldn’t help hoping….” His voice thickened and he leaned in closer to Ed, putting a hand on Ed’s thigh as he bit out the words. “I couldn’t help hoping they’d be able to accept it. To accept
me
.”

His voice broke then, and Ed moved closer, wrapping his arms around Alec as his body shuddered with a sob.

Ed held Alec tight, murmuring words of comfort. “It’ll be okay… it’ll be okay. I’m sorry.” His heart hurt for Alec. He could only imagine how it would feel to face that kind of rejection from the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally. “Maybe they just need some time.”

Alec pulled himself together, wiping his eyes roughly as he drew away. He looked furious with himself for his show of emotion. “I’m angry as much as I’m sad,” he said. “It’s so fucking
stupid
. What difference does it make whether I’m gay or straight? In this day and age, most people don’t care. It won’t affect my career. It shouldn’t be anyone else’s business.”