The No Cry Discipline Solution (31 page)
Read The No Cry Discipline Solution Online
Authors: Elizabeth Pantley
be pleasant while you spend an entire day on the run is
a bit much. Schedule a break, such as a quick stop at the
park, when possible.
• Try to be home at nap time and bedtime. Keeping a tired
child on the move invites trouble. This can’t always be
avoided, but steer clear of it when you can!
• Help your child learn new skills before you ask him to do
them on his own (such as pouring juice, getting dressed,
or working puzzles).
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No-Cry Discipline Parenting Skills and Tools
• Keep your expectations realistic; don’t expect more than
your child is capable of.
• Don’t
underestimate
your child’s abilities. Allow him the
opportunities and privileges that are appropriate for his
age.
• As much as possible, keep a regular and predictable sched-
ule to your child’s day.
• When your child becomes overly emotional, keep yourself
as calm as possible.
• Use a soothing tone of voice, a gentle touch, or the Quiet
Bunny to help your child calm down. He can’t do it on his
own; he needs your help.
• Determine the reason and solve the problem.
• Offer a choice.
• Get eye to eye.
• Validate feelings.
• Let the tantrum run its course.
• Take your child to the calm-down room.
• Do the Quiet Bunny.
• Express yourself—describe and verbalize.
• Tell your child what you DO want.
• Distract and involve.
• Invoke your child’s imagination (“I bet you wish . . .”).
• Use the preventive approach—review expectations in
advance.
• Make an announcement (“Please use a normal voice so I can
understand you.”).
• Be funny.
• Set a timer and allow fussing for three minutes.
• Teach your child what whining and a tantrum sound like.
• Don’t model whining.
• Stop the public tantrums.
• Don’t hold a grudge—when it’s over, it’s over.
• Praise success.
• Avoid letting your child get tired, hungry, bored, or
frustrated.
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Copyright © 2007 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click here for terms of use.
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Copyright © 2007 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click here for terms of use.
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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every day of family life were cheer-
ful and relaxed? If our children would always do what they
were told (the fi rst time they were told)? And what if we could
meet every single adversity with a calm, clear head and then always
make the right decisions? As lovely as that sounds, we know that it
would be impossible for life to be such a never-ending bowl full of
bliss and cherries. It is said that along with cherries come the pits.
Anger is an unsightly pit, but it is impossible to avoid it during the
child-rearing years.
Family life is complicated and unpredictable. Day-to-day expec-
tations and responsibilities can create angry emotions in parents
and children. No matter how skilled you are at parenting, no
matter how wonderful your children are, you cannot eliminate or
avoid the unpleasant situations that occur in all families. However,
once you understand where the anger comes from and learn ways
to control your reactions, then anger can occupy a smaller place in
your home, one that is manageable and reasonably contained.
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Copyright © 2007 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click here for terms of use.
Our children are so lovable, innocent, and treasured. They bring
us incredible joy with just a smile. They love us with their
entire beings—and we love them with an intensity that is unique to
