Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1) (16 page)

    
 
“I live in a small town called
Abingdon.
 
It’s in Virginia, near the
Tennessee line.”

    
“Abingdon.
 
I don’t think I’ve
ever visited there before.”
 
I heard her
laugh.
 
“What’s so funny?”

    
“I actually live twenty minutes outside of Abingdon, and since you’re
from New York I doubt you’d ever have a reason to visit here.”

    
“I have one now.”
 
I said in a low
serious voice.
 
In the last two months,
she hadn’t pushed me for anything.
 
Not
my name, where I live, not anything.
 
I’m
ready to move forward, I’ve been ready for a while but I’ve had to wait.
 
Maybe that has been a good thing because I
feel like I know her already.
 
I’ve never
had feelings for a woman before, but I already feel attached to her.
 
Since going to the club with Matt the first
night I talked with her, I haven’t had sex with any other woman.
 
Once when the waitress smiled and I thought
about sex, it felt like I was cheating.

    
“You want to come here?”
 
I
laughed.
 
She sounded like she couldn’t
believe I’d ever want to visit.

    
“Yes, I do.
 
Can I come for a
visit?”
 

    
“Okay.
 
When do you want to come?”
 
She asked hesitantly.

    
“Well, it’s 10am now so how about I come by at 6 tonight?”

    
“What?
 
You want to come
today?
 
Can you get a flight out that
soon?
 
You haven’t even made reservations
have you?”
 
She fired question after
question and was speaking so fast I almost missed some of them.

    
“Slow down.
 
Yes, I want to come.
 
I want to be at the party tomorrow
night.
 
I want to meet your friends and
the family that I feel like I know so well.
 
And I think I can manage a flight today.”

    
“So you’re coming today?
 
You’re
coming today!
 
I get to meet you in
person!”
 
She squealed in to the phone
and I laughed.
 
“I’ll send you my
address.
 
If you can’t make it or you’re
going to be late, please call me.
 
I
can’t stand to wait on someone.
 
That’s a
pet peeve of mine.”

    
Laughing, “I’ll remember that.
 
I’ll see you at 6.”
 
Hanging up
the phone, I started packing.
 
I called
James, my Vice President and told him I’d be away for the week.
 
I called Matt and let him know I’d be out of
town. I called Seth and told him where I was going and to have the jet ready
and have the limo here to pick me up at 2pm.
 
Last, I called Gino and gave him the week off with pay.
 
 
Smiling, I couldn’t wait
til
6!

I’m
Freaking Out!

    
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
 
I just kept repeating it over and over.
 
I felt like I was in high school again!
 
Picking up the phone, I called Megan.
 
“Hello.”

    
“Megan!
 
Oh my God!”
 
I took in a gulp of air.

    
“What’s wrong Lana?
 
Calm down
honey, tell me what’s wrong?”

    
“Megan can you please come over?
 
Nothings
wrong, just please get over here!”

    
“I’ll be there in 15 mins.”
 
Hanging up the phone, I reached for a wine glass and a bottle of Pinot.
 
Yes, it was too early, but right now I didn’t
care.
 
I have fantasized about this man
for two months.
 
His voice alone makes my
heart pound and my core wet.
 
It had been
two years since I had sex or used a vibrator, having lost any desire for that.
 
After talking to this man for a week, I
bought a vibrator and fantasized what that voice, that mouth could do to
me.
 
I tried to imagine what the rest of
him would look like, and today… today I would I would find out.

    
Two glasses of wine later, I heard Megan knocking on the door.
 
Throwing it open, she walked in.
 
“He’s coming!”
 
I squealed.
 
“He’s coming tonight!”

    
“Really?
 
Okay, what do we need to
do?”
 
She said taking my wine glass away
from me.

    
“I don’t know.
 
He said he’ll be
here at 6, so I’ll need to have dinner ready.
 
My house is a mess, I don’t know what I have in the kitchen to fix so
I’ll need to visit the grocery store, and I need more wine for tonight.”

    
“Slow down Lana.
 
You’re all over
the place.
 
Let’s take one thought at a
time.
 
I’ll clean house for you while you
see what you have in the kitchen.”

    
“I don’t want you to clean.”
 
I
sighed.

    
“Honey, I know you don’t like anyone helping but if you clean all day
then you’ll be too tired to cook or enjoy your company.
 
You’re like a sister to me and I’m
helping.”
  
I knew she was right but it still
bothered me.
 
Stupid lungs!
 
I needed to take my medicine before he got
here.
 
I still hadn’t told him about my
illness.
 
I tried taking slow deep breaths
so I didn’t have another panic attack.
 
The last one I had was right after Christmas, thinking Austin would be
on the road with all the drunk drivers.
 
Shit!
 
Austin doesn’t know he’s
coming.
 
It’s Friday night, maybe he has
plans.

    
“I’m sorry Megan, I’m such a mess!”

    
“But it’s a good mess.”
 
She
laughed.
 
“I’m very happy and excited for
you.”

    
Three hours later, I had already went to the grocery store to stock the
refrigerator and had finished a couple loads of laundry.
 
Megan was still here mopping and
dusting.
 
The house was looking great,
but I was exhausted.
 
“Everything’s
almost done.
 
Why don’t you go take a nap
and I’ll finish up.”

    
“You staying here when you’re done?”

    
“I was planning on it.”

    
“Okay, if I’m not awake by 3:30 then wake me up.”
 
Surely 2 ½ hours was plenty enough for a nap.

    
“You got it, now go to bed.”

    
Waking up, I stretched then looked at the clock that read 3:20.
 
I jumped in the shower and then quickly
dressed.
 
Walking through, I found Megan
sleeping on the couch.
 
I snorted at the
thought of her waking me up.
 
I let her
be and headed for the coffee pot.
 
Knowing Austin would be home soon, I made enough for all of us.
 

    
“Mom, I’m home!”
 
Austin yelled as
he always does when he gets in from school.

    
“In here.”
 
I called from the
living room.
 
He walked through and
dropped his backpack on the floor.
  
I
smiled and casually asked, “How was school today?”

    
“Good, although I got in trouble in Mrs. Bailey’s class again.
 
She says I’m not paying attention, but I know
it already so it makes her class really boring.
 
I make straight A’s so what does she expect?”

    
“Don’t worry about it.
 
You don’t
have very long until graduation.”
 
The
thought of him leaving home made me sick to my stomach, but I’d never tell him
that.

    
“I know.”
 
He sighed.

    
“What are your plans for tonight?”
 
I tried to be casual but he stared at me a little long and it made me
nervous.

    
“I’m sorry mom.”
 
He took a slow
deep breath.
 
“The guys booked us a gig
at The Old Mill tonight.
 
We go on at seven,
but were meeting up at 5:30 to practice one last time.”

    
“Why are you sorry?”
 
I felt
confused by his statement.

    
“I’ve been leaving you home a lot by yourself on the weekends and I feel
guilty about it.”

    
“Don’t!
 
I feel guilty right now
for missing your first live performance.”

    
“Why don’t you come?
 
We play
until 10 but you don’t have to stay that long.”
 
He sounded so excited.

    
“I’ll try, but no promises.”
 
He
looked confused.
 
I was always there no
matter what he was doing.
 
“You know the
guy I’ve been talking to on the phone a lot?”
 
He nodded.
 
“He’s coming for a
visit.
 
He’ll be here tonight at 6.”

    
Austin finally looked around at the very clean house.
 
He rose to his feet and started pacing. When
he finally stopped, all he said was “Shit,” and then rubbed his forehead.
 
I sat there silently watching him.
 
“I can’t cancel on the guys and I can’t leave
you here alone with some man you’ve never met. Shit!”
 
He started pacing again.
 
“Mom, you can’t!”

    
I felt my anger start to rise. “What do you mean I can’t?”
 
I asked in a low voice.

    
“I mean you don’t know this guy and you can’t meet him with nobody else
here.
 
You don’t know who he is or
anything, so no he can’t come over.”
 
Austin continued pacing.
 
He
didn’t see my face turn red, or the anger that was written all over my
face.
 
I knew he meant well, but this had
to stop.
 
Glancing at Megan, she sat
there wide-eyed and not only was I angry, I was a little embarrassed that my son
was talking to me as though I was a child.

    
“Austin” He turned to look at me.
 
He saw it then and the color drained from his face.
 
“I love you.
 
I love the fact that you try to take care of me.
 
But I am 35 years old and I am
your
mother, you are
not
mine!
 
I have talked to
him almost every day for two months so I think I do know him.
 
You are going to The Old Mill.
 
Colin is coming at six, and then after we eat
I’ll see if he feels like going out for drinks.
 
Hopefully, I’ll see you tonight. I would love to watch you perform.”

    
I could tell he was trying to calm his nerves.
 
“God mom, is this what you feel like when I
go out?”
 
I laughed.

    
“Sometimes.
 
Remember the panic
attack at Christmas?”

    
“I’m sorry for putting you through that.”
 

    
I couldn’t help but laugh.
 
He
looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.
 
“That’s just how it works when you care about someone.
 
I love you Austin.”

****

    
The flight to Highlands Airport took forever.
 
Well, only 1 ½ hours but time crawled at a
snail’s pace.
 
I was laughing to myself
because I have never been this excited before.
 
Not that I remembered anyways.
 
Trying not to stand out to much, I had a 2015 Jaguar waiting at the
airport.
 
It was no Aston Martin, but it
would do.

    
After talking to the rental company, and with keys now in hand, I headed
toward
Carlana
.
 
The GPS said it would only take 20min.
 
The drive was beautiful with all the trees.
 
There were many mountains here and the road
was curvy.
 
When the GPS had me turn down
this unmarked two-lane road, I begin to get nervous.
 
I had never driven on roads like these
before.
 
Hell, I barely drove in the
city.
 
Slowing down for yet another turn,
I swore loudly.
 
I had a 2015 Jaguar and
was now driving down a gravel road.
 
Not
only was it gravel, but it had holes in it, which made it very bumpy.
 
Nearing the end of the road, this little
white ranch style house came in to view.
 
It looked to be about twenty-five hundred square feet.
 
I pulled up in the drive, grabbed the flowers
that I had bought and headed to the door.

    
Walking up on the porch with a lump in my throat, I raised my hand to
knock but the door swung open and there she stood.
 
She looked better than I remembered.
 
Her long, curly auburn hair fell loosely
around her shoulders.
 
She had piercing
green eyes that held me captive until she blinked and looked away.
 
My gaze kept traveling and I noticed the
light splatter of freckles across her cheeks, and her pink soft plump lips that
were without lipstick.
 
Her body was
gorgeous with breast that would fill your hands, tiny waist and shapely
legs.
 
Actually, gorgeous wasn’t the word
for her.
 
Stunning, everything about this
woman was real, and she was stunning!
 
When my eyes found hers again, she
smiled.
 
“Hi
Carlana
.”
 
I took her hand and pulled her to me for a
warm embrace.

    
“Hi Colin.”
 
She whispered in to
my neck while hugging me.

    
Lana couldn’t believe he was here.
 
He had to be at least six-feet-two.
 
He towered over her five-feet-four.
 
He had short dark hair, and deep blue eyes.
 
Looking at him, he looked familiar but she couldn’t
place where she might have seen him.
 
His
arms, chest, his whole body appeared muscular under his clothes.
 
It made her want to see more.
 
She tried to control her breathing, hoping it
would calm her pounding heart that beat against her chest.
 
She had dreamed of what he might look like,
but she never once thought he would be an Adonis.
 
“Please come in.”
 
She slowly pulled her eyes away from him and
led him to the living room.
 
“Would you
like something to drink?”

    
I couldn’t stop staring at her.
 
This woman that had taken up so much of my thoughts the last couple of
months.
 
This woman that took care of me when
I was beaten in the alley.
 
Did she just
ask me something?
 
“Excuse me, what did
you say?”
 
With that, she gave me a
blinding smile.