Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1) (26 page)

Back
Home once again!

    
It was great to be back home.
 
Mom
and dad were at Austin’s graduation.
 
We
went out to eat afterwards and then we told them the great news.
 
Mom was ecstatic, constantly hugging Colin.
 
Dad welcomed him to the family, and bless his
heart, Colin didn’t know what to say.
 
He’d never had family before, at least not a real one.
 
Austin was coming to terms with our
engagement.
 
He liked Colin, but for some
reason I think it bothered him.
 
He
didn’t want me to live alone so he never said anything negative.
 
He would be leaving for college soon and I
would miss him every day.
 
Life has a
funny way of working out though.
 
I only
had one more person to tell.
  

    
Placing fresh flowers on Graysen’s grave, I kneeled down to arrange them
the way I wanted.
 
“Hi Graysen.
  
I
know it’s been a while and so much has happened.
 
Austin graduated high school this year and I
wish you could have seen him.
 
He is such
a good son, but you already knew that.
  
I’ve been back in the hospital but I’m doing well now.”
 
Hesitating for some unknown reason, “I’m
getting married Graysen.
 
I never thought
I would marry again, but Colin is a wonderful man.
 
This doesn’t mean I love you less sweetheart,
I’ve just made room for someone else.
 
I
know that’s what you would want.
 
Austin’s tried so hard to fill your shoes, and I think he’s a little
relieved that I’m not alone anymore.
 
I
still worry about him though.
 
He idolized
you, and he’s following in your footsteps where music is concerned.
 
I saw him perform and he’s an amazing singer.”
 
Swiping a tear from my face, “I love you
Graysen.
 
I miss you.”
  
Standing up, I walked over to where Colin
waited by the car.
 
He saw my tears and
hugged me close.

    
“Ready to go?”
 
He asked, smiling
down at me.

    
“Ready.”
 
Ready to go, ready to
start living, ready to finally start a new chapter…

The End!

Almost
 
(Read
on for more)

Prologue

    
Sitting at dad’s grave, I have no idea how to move on.
 
We just buried him last week and mom cries
every day.
 
I have to be strong for her;
I have to be the man of the house.
 
That’s what dad would want.
 
“Hey
dad.
 
I miss you.
 
I don’t know what to do, how to help
mom.
 
She cries all the time and I feel
helpless.”
 
Wiping the tears from my
eyes, “You weren’t supposed to die!”
 
I
said forcefully, wanting to change everything back to the way it was, wanting
to kill the man that did this to us.
 
“Playing my guitar is the only way I can
relieve this pain I feel in my chest.
 
Last week, when I had to carry mom away from here, I wrote you a song. I
haven’t played it for anyone, just you dad.”
 
Pulling my guitar onto my lap, I began to strum a melody before I
started to sing.

I woke up
this morning

To a another
day

I don’t feel
the same

As I did
yesterday

They keep
telling me

It’s
gonna
be alright

But they’re
not the ones

That sleep
with our memories at night

What am I
supposed to do

I can’t
stand the thoughts of leaving you

Although it
may be the cold dark truth

They say
except it

But I don’t
want to

I don’t want
to

    
Wiping the tears away, “Sorry dad.
 
I thought I could sing the whole song, but I can’t, not yet.
 
I feel so lost, and I don’t know what to
do.
 
All I know is that I miss you
dad.
 
SO. DAMN. MUCH!

Thank you for reading
Trying to Survive!
 
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Read on for the
first chapter.

Play
List

Holder & Bowen

I Don’t Want To!

Available on ITunes

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Or to hear the song on YouTube and get
a glimpse of the author

Click here

    
Although this is a work of fiction, there are some aspects of the story
that are true.
 
PCD is a real lung
disease that goes undiagnosed in mild patients.
 
There are under 500 people diagnosed in the United States with an
estimated 25,000 who actually have it.
 
If you, or anyone you know is suspected of having Cystic Fibrosis but
the test comes back negative, then you need to be checked for Primary Ciliary
Dyskinesia (PCD).
 
Click
here
 
to visit the PCD foundation for more information.
 
Mild symptoms include a runny nose or a cold
from the time you were born.
 
A cough
that is usually present.
 
Multiple surgeries
for insertion of tubes in the ears, hearing loss, and chronic sinus problems
that result in sinus surgeries.
 
By
pre-teen years, bronchiectasis (enlargement of the airways) is usually
present.
 
Severe cases include more
severe symptoms such as the organs are mirrored in the body, having more than
one spleen, etc.
 
Visit the PCD
foundation for complete information.

Chapter
1

    
“Hey Austin, you coming man?”
 
Alex asked as he stuck his head in the door of my room.

    
“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”
 
Alex
was my college roommate and best friend.
 
We were in our fourth year at UVA, but music was what we dreamed
about.
 
Alex was the lead guitarist and I
was the lead singer of
Shaken Thought
.
 
We sung original rock songs and had a regular
gig every Friday night a Barry’s Bar.
 
That’s where we were heading now.
 
Grabbing my guitar, I turned the lights out and headed out the door.

 
   
“You okay?”
 
He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

    
“Fine, why do you ask?”

    
“You just seem distracted.
 
You
need to be on your A game tonight.
 
There’s supposed to be some big wigs there tonight to watch us perform.”

    
“I know that asshole.
 
You don’t
need to fucking remind me every thirty minutes.”

    
“Now I know somethings up.
 
What
the hell is it?”
 
He grabbed my shoulder
but I shook him off.

    
“It’s none of your fucking business so just fuck off!”
 
I glared and then walked past him, leaving
him standing there with his lips smashed together.
 
There is no way I’m talking about my feelings
with him.
 
I only share things with my
mother and since she married, I don’t do that very often.
 

    
There is no way I could tell Alex how angry I am right now.
 
Today is the day my dad died six years ago,
and the fucker that killed him is out of jail already.
 
He’s out of jail but I still have to live
without dad because he decided to drink and drive.
 
I think about him all the time and wonder if
he thinks about dad… us.
 
I’ve tried
everything I know to get rid of the rage I feel.
 
I work out every day, and at six-feet-two and
two hundred and thirty pounds of pure muscle, the rage is still there.
 
Mom has tried to get me to go back to
counseling.
 
It helped when dad first
died so maybe I should consider it.
 
I
just don’t know.

    
On stage that night with at least two hundred people drinking and
dancing, I sang my heart out.
 
I sang
with every emotion I possessed.

Do
you care what you did

The
decisions you make

It’s
your selfish attitude

It’s
me who you made

Hate
that you made

    
When I finished pouring my fucking heart out, the crowd went wild.
 
Of course, they had no idea that the song was
personal.
 
Strumming the guitar, I
started another song until sweat was dripping off my brow and my chest was
heaving.

    
Walking off stage and grabbing a bottle of water, a man in a suit walked
over.

    
Handing me a card, he said, “Hi Austin, I’m Eric Kincer and I work for
MEC records.
 
I would like to talk to you
about maybe signing with us.”
 
I looked
down at his card and then back up to see him staring at me.
 
I nodded to a table in the corner.

    
Sitting down, “I’m listening.”
 
He
told me how he would like to manage the band, set up venues and promote
us.
 
I would have to sign a contract,
agreeing to their terms.
 
I knew this was
something I needed help with, and I knew just who to call.
 
“That sounds good, but I would like my
stepfather here with me when we go over the contract.”
 
I only called Colin my stepfather when I
needed to use his name.
 
I knew it was an
asshole move, but he didn’t mind.
 
In fact,
he told me anytime I needed to use it to go ahead.

    
“That’ll be fine.
 
I’ll have the
papers drawn up and we’ll meet next week to go over them.”
 
Shaking his hand, I left to find the rest of
the band.

   
Finding the guys in the back room looking anxious, Alex was the first to
speak when I walked in.
 
“Well, what’d he
say?”

    
Taking a seat, “He said he worked for MEC records and he wants to sign
us to a two year contract.
 
Says he’ll
manage and promote the band, setting up venues and so on.”
 
The guys all shouted with happiness as I sat
there grinning at them.
 
We had worked
damn hard for this and they deserved it.

    
“When are you meeting him?”
 
Alex
asked.

    
“I told him that I would meet him next week and I wanted my stepfather
present.”
 
Alex broke out in laughter.

    
“Does he have any idea who he’s meeting with?”
 
I smiled a mischievous smile.

    
“Hell no!”
 
I laughed.
 
“Colin will make sure we get a good deal and
not screwed.”

    
“Speaking of screwed, I’m going out to mingle.”
 
He wiggled his eyebrows and then left.

    
Deciding to call mom before finding my own woman for the night, I pulled
out my cell.
 
I tried to talk to her at
least two or three times a week.
 
Dialing
her number, I watched as the guys filed out one by one, looking for pussy.
 
After a great set like tonight, we had to get
rid of this pent up energy somehow.
 

   
“Hello?’

    
“Hey mom, how are you?”
 
I asked
while taking a seat on the old worn out couch.

    
“I’m okay.
 
How are you?
 
I’ve been worried about you today.”

    
“I’m okay.
 
Actually, I’m not.
 
I think about that man every day and I hate
him.
 
I miss dad today just as much as I
did six years ago.”

    
“I know honey.
 
Even though I’m
married now, Colin understands that he didn’t take Graysen’s place.
 
I miss him to and I’ve thought about him a lot”

    
“I just wish I could move forward.”
 
I said in almost a whisper.

    
“Maybe you should seek counseling again.
 
Just remember, it’s much easier to hate someone than it is to forgive
them.
 
That’s why we have to strive to
forgive.”

    
“I know mom.
 
I’m trying.
 
On a better note, a man from MEC Records
approached me tonight and wants to sign the band.”

    
“That’s great sweetheart, but what about college?
 
You’re in your last year.”
 
I knew she’d worry about college, but I also
knew she would support whatever decision I made.

    
“I want to try this mom.
 
If it
doesn’t work out, I’ll only have one semester left to finish.”

    
“Okay honey.
 
All I want is for
you to be happy.
 
But if this doesn’t
work out then you
will
finish
college.”

    
“Okay, deal.
 
Now I need to talk
to Colin.”

    
“I’ll put him on.
 
Bye sweetie,
love you.”

    
“Love you to.”
 
I knew she’d be
okay with everything.
 
I couldn’t have
asked for a better mother, and even though it was hard in the beginning, I was
happy she found Colin.
 

    
“Hey man, what’s up?”
 
I liked
that he spoke to me as another man and not a child.
 
He’s always treated me as an equal.

    
“A Mr.
Kincer
from MEC Records wants to sign
us and he’s drawing up the contract.
 
I
would like you there just to make sure the fucker isn’t screwing us over.”

    
“Okay, I’m writing this down.
 
I’ll have James look into the company and this Mr.
Kincer
just to make sure he’s on the up and up.
 
I’ll be there to go over the contract with you.
 
Just let me know when and where.”

    
“Thanks Colin.”

    
“Anytime Austin.”
 
Hanging up, I
decided to find someone help get rid of all this pent up energy.
 
Grabbing a bottle of water, I headed out to
the bar, to the crowd, to the women.

Austin’s Story

Coming

2016

 
   
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