Until Alex (16 page)

His glassy eyes stared me down, his voice just above a whisper. “You’re not going to that dance.”

I dropped my head in frustration. “Okay, so you clearly didn’t hear a single word I said.” I grabbed hold of the doorknob. “Good night, Hayden.” I swung the door shut, but the toe of his shoe stopped it.

He pushed it open, causing me to step back. He sauntered by me like I’d asked him in and dropped down on the sofa, extending his legs and crossing them at his ankles.

I stood in the doorway looking down at him in utter bewilderment. “First of all,” I whispered. “My aunt’s sleeping. Second, you have two girls in your apartment waiting to make your night.”

He spread his arms over the back of the sofa.
“Come sit down.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Yeah, I think we already covered that. Something about me driving the train.”

I closed the door and walked over to the loveseat across from him, avoiding close contact at all costs. But without warning, Hayden flew off the sofa and yanked me down beside him, wrapping his arm around me and drawing me into his side.

“Hayden?”

He tightened his grasp, preventing me from escaping.

Why, beyond all common sense, did I like it? Why did I feel at home with his scent filling my senses and his strong arms wrapped around me?
Ugh
. He was so damn frustrating.
And
he brought two girls home! Two girls who were still in his apartment.

The thought sobered my temporarily shaky judgment. “Well this was nice. But I’m sure you don’t want to keep your girls waiting.” I tried pulling free.

I could feel the slight bouncing of his chest in silent laughter as he held me tighter. “Why do you do this?”

I huffed. “Do what?”

“Make me feel things.”

“Things? What kind of things?”

“Things I’m not used to feeling.”

My traitorous heart sputtered. Why was
he doing this
now
? Did he even know what he was saying? Would he even remember come morning? I couldn’t stop myself. “I didn’t know I was doing that.”

Hayden dropped a soft kiss to the top of my head, letting his lips linger for a long while. So long I assumed he passed out. “Oh, you know alright.”

I huffed out a breath, partly because he was cutting off my circulation and partly because I was so damn exasperated by his Jekyll and Hyde behavior I couldn’t take it any longer. “Then why? Why’d you bring them home?”

The
silence was deafening.

Then he sighed, a long drawn-out sigh reserved for no-win situations. Battles you could never even dream of winning. “It’s what I do. I screw up everything good in my life. Everything worth holding on to.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ALEX

I jolted up, my eyes shooting around my aunt’s sunny living room where I was sprawled out the length of the sofa. Hayden was gone. There wasn’t any sign he’d ever even been there.

Had he?  

“Fall asleep on the sofa again?”

My head whipped around. My aunt stood in the kitchen dropping slices of bread into the toaster. “I guess so.”

“Can I get you something to eat?”

She wore yoga pants and a T-shirt
, so I knew she was on her way to the gym. I could fend for myself. “No, thanks.”

She walked into the living room and sat down on the arm of the sofa. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

The uneasy look in her eyes
told me she was treading lightly.  “Would you like to come next time I go up to your parents’ vineyard? Or maybe Austin?”

The mere mention of the vineyard and Austin brought on an onslaught of anguish. The memories. The pain. The people. The heartache. How could I ever be expected to return to places that were no longer home? “I don’t think so.”

She nodded, like she already anticipated my response. “Well, you just tell me when you’re ready. Obviously, there’s a lot to be done. I was going to grab some of your things, but I didn’t want to go riffling through your personal effects.”

“Thanks.” That word again. This woman single-handedly took charge of not only caring for me, but running my parents’ vineyard, settling their estate, and maintaining their home—after what they’d done to her. And all I could say was thanks.

Unfortunately, her broaching the subject at all gave me the sinking feeling that once I turned twenty-one in a couple weeks, she expected me to take over those responsibilities. I wished she’d realize that nothing involving me getting dropped back into my old life, surrounded by people who hated me and memories of my parents at every turn, was part of my plan.

But where did that leave me?

In an apartment with a woman I barely knew. Waking up on a sofa after being abandoned by a guy I barely knew. A guy who probably regretted his drunken confessions.

He was probably with the sluts right now. Unless, of course, I constructed the entire night in my head. Then I just walked the fine line between stable and crazy.

Could things get any worse?

I fell back onto the sofa and closed my eyes, needing time to regroup. Time to get my head back in check. Time to slip away from the here and now.

The moment was short-lived, interrupted by a persistent knocking on the front door
.
A gust of wind accompanied my aunt as she moved by me.

“Oh, good, you’re up.”

My eyes snapped open. Hayden, with damp hair and board shorts on, stood in the hallway eyeing me over my aunt’s shoulder with a devilish grin.

My aunt twisted toward me with inquisitive eyes. I wanted to shrug my confusion, but waited to hear what Hayden planned to say.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m taking Alex to the beach.”

“You are?” my aunt and I asked.

Hayden flashed that slow sexy grin. “I am.”

I stared across the room into the depths of his blue eyes, like they spoke something only I could understand. Maybe I had it right. Maybe he really was crazy.

HAYDEN

We hit minimal traffic on the highway to the coast. Though we’d been in my truck for ten minutes, Alex hadn’t spoken a single word. She just gazed out her window at the passing scenery like I wasn’t even there.

Picking the perfect time to break the silence, my stomach growled like a caged bear.

“What? No greasy feast this morning?” Alex’s eyes remained out the window.             

I peeked over, taking in the strapless cotton dress she wore over
a teal bikini that tied behind her neck. I couldn’t wait to see the rest of it. “Why would I need a greasy feast?”

“Oh, I don’t know. To help your hangover.”

I laughed. “I’m not hung over.”

She scoffed.

“I’m not.”

When I woke in Alex’s apartment,
with her snuggled into my side, my head felt foggy. But when I found those two girls in my bed, the haze wore off and the night’s events came flooding back.

I guess I
couldn’t blame Alex for her silence. I would’ve given me the cold shoulder, too.

At least I had one thing going for me. If she really hated me, really thought there was no redemption for my dark soul, she never would’ve agreed to come along with me. 

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her watching curiously as we passed the beach entrance without turning into the lot. I drove another hundred yards then turned onto the dead end road at the end, parking my truck by a solid oak fence that blocked the view of the beach.

“What are we doing?”

I slipped my truck into park. “Erasing your memory.”

“Once wasn’t enough?”

I held back a smile. I knew the girl I’d met back in August, the one I’d come to know—come to care about—was in there somewhere. I’d take a small glimpse if that’s all I got. “We’re gonna replace those bad memories with some new ones.”

Alex turned toward me. And for the first time that day, her features softened and gratitude shone in her eyes.

“Don’t say it.” I jumped out of the truck.

She slipped out the passenger side, calling over the bed of my truck. “I wasn’t going to.”

I cocked my head.

“I swear. I’m working on an alternative phrase.”

I furrowed my brows. “An alternative phrase?”

She nodded. “One that means more.”

I grabbed the small cooler from the bed of my truck. “How ‘bout you’re swell?” I offered like a true smartass.

She arched a brow. “You’re swell?”

I flashed a smile, the one that never failed to get girls to come home with me.

Alex looked unfazed, swinging her beach bag over her shoulder. “It has potential.”

“Is that your way of saying it sucks?”

She shook her head. “I appreciate you trying to help. You’re swell.”

ALEX

The ocean glistened like a magical paradise as I stood up to my waist in the water. The sun blazed down on my shoulders as my fingertips grazed the calm surface. Hayden was right. I needed to make new memories at a place that now held so much darkness.

Out of nowhere, water splashed into my face, causing me to gulp down a mouthful of disgusting salt water. My eyes jumped around, seeking the sound of Hayden’s laughter. “You jerk,” I choked out, wiping the briny water from my eyes
and mouth.

Before I could retaliate, he ducked under the water and disappeared. I spun around, searching the surface. Though the water stretched as far as the eye could see,  the water around me was clear enough to see both sea life
and
human predator.

But w
here was he?

I got my answer by means of a drenched back. I spun around, laughing at Hayden’s playfulness, but he’d disappeared again.

My eyes scanned the surface as I spun in a slow circle. There was no way I’d let him surprise me again. But like a fish, he stayed under far longer than most humans could.

Suddenly, g
oose bumps scrambled up my arms.

I froze.

Warm breath traveled over the wet skin on the back of my neck. Even with salt water everywhere, Hayden’s aloe scent overpowered it.

This time he didn’t splash me. This time he placed his hands on my wet hips, gliding them up and down my skin. Then, without warning, he locked his arms around my stomach, pulled my back to his chest, and yanked me down into the water with him. I let out a yelp before being tugged under. 

I loved the fun, carefree Hayden. He’d been like that since we arrived—scratch that. Since he had his hands on my ass to boost me over the fence to our own private beach. He claimed to know the guy who owned the property. And since he’d gone away for the weekend, we had the beach to ourselves. But I wasn’t a fool. We scaled a fence and didn’t have a key to the house. We clearly weren’t invited guests.

I
finally escaped Hayden’s clutches and hurried out of the water and over to our towels spread out on the hot sand. I sat down, reclining on my elbows so the sun could soak up the beads of water covering my body.

Hayden stayed in the water, swimming laps and floating on his back. I wondered if the beach held fond memories for him. Or if the tranquil setting just relaxed his serious side.

As much as I appreciated the view, appreciated watching him unwind, appreciated him trying to help me forget, I’d waited all morning for him to mention the previous night. 

Maybe he didn’t remember. Maybe he’d been too drunk to mean what he said.

Hayden finally emerged from the water, strutting toward me with innate confidence. The sun sparkled down on his soaked hair, and the water clung like a second skin to every ripple in his chest and indentation in his arms.

“You thirsty?” h
e asked, sitting down beside me.

I faked a grimace. “You planning on serving me something in a red cup?” With a grin, he reached inside his small cooler and handed me a sealed bottle of water. I unscrewed the cap and took a long refreshing sip. “You’re swell.”

He flashed a crooked smile. It had to be the panty-dropper smile. “It does have a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?”

I turned my attention back to the beautiful view. Last time, the beach and its inhabitants were cloaked in darkness. I remember thinking it was so peaceful, when I couldn’t even see fifty yards out. Now I could see for miles where the shimmering surface met the blue horizon.

Cameron had pointed out a lighthouse, but I could only see a faint light. Now I could distinguish the tall white structure in all its glory, protecting sailors on their long journeys. At least today I didn’t need a lighthouse to protect me. I had Hayden. “Nothing’s going to ruin how much I love the beach. I could stay here forever.”

Hayden pointed down the shore. “We could probably set you up a nice little tent down there.”

“Yeah, right. You’d be lost if I didn’t live across the hall.”

He reclined on his elbows so our shoulders were even. “Oh, you think so?”

“I know so. Where else would you show up drunk knocking?”

“Drunk knocking?”

My eyes squeezed shut. I wanted him to remember on his own. There goes that. “Yeah, some people drunk dial. You drunk knock.” I glanced to him. His eyes, with their damp lashes clumped together, were locked on mine. It seemed like the perfect moment to discuss what occurred the previous night or make out until we were both delirious.

My eyes dared him to make the first move, but his seemed to be doing the same. We stayed in a stare down, our chests rising and falling, for a long intense moment.

“So, how’d you get the girls out of your apartment?” Sarcasm spewed from my mouth so casually sometimes it surprised even me.

His lips tigh
tened. His eyes broke from mine and stared out at the horizon. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged.

“That’s not much of an answer.”

He looked back, his eyes searching my face.

“Say it,” I urged.

“What?”

“Whatever it is you want to say. I’m here. I’ll listen. I’ll tell you you’re stupid. I’ll make revolted faces. I’ll disagree with you. Just say
something
.”

He sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees. It left me with a view of his back and that disturbing tattoo.  “I don’t want you going to that dance tonight.”

A frustrated breath whooshed out of me. We were back to that? “Seriously, Hayden. You can’t tell me not to go.”

He clenched his fist around his water, crackling the plastic
bottle. Then with a scary roar, he hurled it down the beach.

I sat up, pushing myself back on my towel. Sure, his temper unsettled me. But the fact that he ignored my question about the girls, and then had the nerve to get mad at
me
for going to the dance, gave me the green light to unleash my own anger. “What are you so upset about? You didn’t have to see me bring two guys home.”

His eyes remained on the horizon, but his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together. “I slept with
you
, didn’t I?”

“Did you? Because you weren’t there when I woke up.” It took everything in me not to get up and leave, liked he’d done to me on more than one occasion. But for some reason, some reason I couldn’t control, I needed him to understand. “Hayden, you can’t not want me, but get angry when—”

His eyes shot over his shoulder. “I never said I didn’t want you.”

A tidal wave swelled in my belly. And while I loved his vulnerability, his words had the opposite effect on my head. C
onfusing me. Frustrating me. Infuriating me. I couldn’t take anymore. “Stop it. Just stop it.”