Wishes and Tears (8 page)

‘Well then, if Mark asks you out you should go.'

Janet didn't reply.

 

A few days later, Janet was waiting for a bus when she saw Mark across the road. He waved when he caught sight of her and ran over to the other side.

‘Janet, I'm glad I've seen you. Would you like to go to the local hop on Friday to see in the New Year?'

She felt embarrassed as everyone in the bus queue appeared to be listening and waiting for her answer.

‘I don't know,' she said softly, then added in a whisper, ‘I can't dance.'

‘I'll soon show you. Can you jive?'

Janet shook her head. ‘I wouldn't have thought you could dance.'

He laughed. ‘You get to do a lot of things in the army.' As the bus came into view he added, ‘I'll pick you up about seven.'

It was five to seven when Mark called for Janet, who had been ready a good half-hour before. He was wearing a grey pinstriped suit and with his dark wavy hair he looked rather handsome.

‘Janet, remember; don't go getting yourself into any trouble,' her father had said to her earlier.

‘Peter, please ...' tutted his wife.

Janet chose to ignore his remark. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her life? Was he always going to make some comment every time she went out?

‘You look nice,' said Mark when she went to the door.

‘Thank you.' She smoothed down the front of the dress her mother had bought her for her last birthday.

‘Enjoy yourselves,' beamed Mrs Slater as they left the house.

This was the first time Janet had been out with a boyfriend and she could see her mother clearly approved of Mark Scott.

At first Janet was awkward and embarrassed when they danced, and felt she had two left feet. But Mark was proving to be good company and she was enjoying herself. Over a glass of lemonade he told her he had gone back to his old job at the local garage but he wanted to move on.

‘The army taught me there's a big world out there.' She toyed with her glass. ‘I know. I'd like to get away too, but you need money and a job. Where did you go in the army?'

‘Spent a short while in Egypt.'

‘So that's why you look so brown. Was it hot?'

‘A bit. I've got a mate - some bloke I met in the army - he reckons he's going to start a car-selling business in London.'

‘That should be interesting. Would you go with him?'

‘Don't know. It might mean putting money into it, and I don't think Ma would approve of me doing that or moving to London.'

‘Parents always seem to be telling you what they think is best for you.' Janet looked sad. ‘I know mine do.'

‘You'll have to wait till you're twenty-one before you can do as you like.'

‘How old are you now, Mark?'

‘Twenty-one next birthday. It's daft when you think about it; I was old enough to go in the army and get shot at but I still can't get married or start a business without my parents' permission.'

‘You're not thinking of getting married then, are you?'

He laughed. ‘Not on your nelly. I've got a lot of living to do first. Come on.' He jumped to his feet. ‘We came here to dance, not get all melancholy. We'll go over in the corner and I'll teach you to jive.'

By twelve o'clock she had almost mastered it

As midnight struck everybody began kissing. Mark took Janet into his arms and kissed her gently. It wasn't the kind of passionate kiss Sam had given her, but she liked it.

‘Happy New Year,' he said holding her tight.

‘And a Happy New Year to you,' she said, pulling away. ‘What resolutions have you made?'

‘Only to try to start a business.'

The band began to play ‘Auld Lang Syne'. Mark took her hand and they joined in the fun.

After, when they sat with a cold drink, Mark asked her what her resolutions were.

‘I haven't made any.'

‘You should. Janet, I've really enjoyed being out with you tonight. I thought you might be like your father.'

She laughed. ‘Why?'

‘Well, I only know you as the Sunday school teacher. Where do you work, anyway?'

‘In an office in Horsham.'

‘Ma was telling me you were away last Christmas, that you'd gone to look after an old aunt. Is she all right now?'

Janet could feel herself blushing. ‘Yes, thanks.' She was pleased the band struck up the ‘last waltz' at that moment, and once again Mark pulled her to her feet.

He was holding her very close. She could feel his breath on her neck.

Would she be able to keep Paula a secret for ever? And did she want to?

 

After the New Year Janet and Mark saw each other twice a week. During the week they went to the pictures and on Saturday nights they danced at the local hop. For the first time in her life Janet felt really happy—she had something to look forward to. Mark was good-looking, good company and she liked him. They laughed together and she felt at ease with him. Janet was pleased that he didn't make any advances. She wasn't ready for romance. He didn't even put his arm round her in the pictures. At the end of the evenings they just exchanged a quick good night kiss. As far as Janet was concerned that was enough.

February came, and as Janet's birthday fell on a Saturday that year, Mark was able to take her to London to see a show. She was so excited. It was something she had always wanted to do. London seemed a million miles away from her life. Mark told her that he also wanted to go and see his friend to find out if he still wanted him to be a partner in his business.

‘I'm so pleased that you and Mark are getting on so well,' said her mother. ‘Mrs Scott was telling me that Mark has certainly changed since you two have been walking out together.' Mrs Slater placed Janet's clean bedclothes on the bed. ‘You can give me a hand to change the sheets.'

‘We're not walking out. We just go to the dance and pictures, that's all. He's going to London to see his friend, and as it happened to be my birthday he's taking me along and then we're seeing a film. So you can tell Mrs Scott not to get too gossipy about it. And what did she mean when she said Mark had changed? In what way?'

‘I don't know. I think she means he doesn't spend quite so much time watching the television.'

‘Is that all? Well, there isn't much else to do round here now, is there?' Janet plumped up the pillow after putting on its clean pillowcase.

‘Mrs Scott is a very nice woman. It was terrible when her little Joan died. Don't suppose Mrs Scott ever forgave herself, letting her run off like that. It was a good thing she had Mark so soon after to take her mind off the accident. Not that you would ever forget losing a child.'

Janet knew all about the anguish of losing a daughter, and could now understand why Mark, an only child, had been so cosseted. Joan had been two years old when she'd drowned in the village pond. Mark had been born a week later. Apparently the Scott tragedy had been the talk of the village for months after; even now Joan's tiny grave always had fresh flowers in the vase.

‘Janet.' Her mother broke into her thoughts. ‘You will be careful when you go to London, won't you?'

Janet faced her mother across the bed. ‘Why? What do you mean?'

‘I was just thinking of what happened the last time you—'

Janet was angry. ‘I wondered how long it would be before you said something. I won't drag him into the nearest park and make him make mad, passionate love to me, if that's what you're frightened of.'

Irene Slater pulled herself up to her full five foot four and the colour drained from her face. ‘How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that? You will apologize at once, young lady.'

Immediately Janet regretted what she had said. ‘I'm sorry. But I made one big mistake which I shall spend the rest of my life wishing hadn't happened. So I don't think I'll need reminding every time I go out. Besides Mark and I are just friends.'

Her mother pursed her lips and silently began straightening out the sheet.

Janet knew that if she ever wanted to find Paula she would have to leave this village and her family. There was no way her parents' attitude was ever going to change.

On Saturday, 19 February Janet found herself eagerly waiting for Mark. As usual he was at her door on the dot.

‘Happy birthday.' He kissed her cheek and handed her a boxed birthday card and a small present.

‘This is lovely. Thank you.'

‘It's only a box of hankies, but they do have your initial on them.'

‘Thank you. That's very kind of you. But you're taking me to London, I didn't expect anything else.'

Although he had lost some of his tan, when he smiled his dark complexion still offset his even white teeth.

‘Don't worry about it. Ready?'

Janet nodded.

They said their goodbyes and left.

On the train Janet remembered her last journey to London. She quickly smiled across at Mark. She wasn't going to let those sad memories spoil today.

By the time they left Kennington underground station it was almost lunchtime. They arrived at a gap in the houses that had a hand-painted sign on two poles announcing ‘Danny's Used Cars'.

‘Is this it?' asked Janet, looking at the row of highly polished cars.

‘Looks like it.'

‘But it's only a cleared bomb sight.'

‘Most of these places are, unless you've got enough money for a real posh showroom.'

They made their way to the shed at the far end and Mark knocked on the door.

‘It's open.'

When Mark stepped inside Danny looked up from his desk and for a moment said nothing. Suddenly he jumped to his feet. ‘Well, I'll be buggered. Me old mate Mark.' He clasped Mark to him. ‘How are you then, me old mucker?' He gave him a light punch on his arm. ‘It's good to see you.'

Janet followed Mark into the tiny office and the heat from the electric fire was overpowering. Through the haze of cigarette smoke she saw that Danny was a few years older than Mark. He had a thin moustache, dark hair and flashing blue eyes. He was good-looking in a David Niven sort of way, slightly taller than Mark, and his very expensive-looking suit was well cut. Hanging over the back of his chair was a tan-coloured sheepskin jacket.

‘This is Janet,' said Mark, turning towards her.

‘Pleased to meet you, I'm sure. You two walking out then?' He grinned and winked at Janet.

‘No, we're just friends.'

‘Oh yes. Look, take a seat.' He pointed to a chair behind the desk.

Janet sat down. The desk was strewn with papers, a couple of empty cigarette packets, and an overflowing ashtray.

‘So how's things?' asked Mark quickly.

‘Mustn't grumble. What you doing up this way? Come to see if it's worth your while putting a few bob in the business then?'

‘Still thinking about it.'

‘I could do with your expertise up here.' He turned to Janet and, still holding a cigarette between his nicotine-stained fingers, pointed at Mark. ‘Did you know this bloke is one of the best mechanics in the business? Half the army trucks wouldn't have got off the ground if it wasn't for this clever sod here.'

Mark looked embarrassed. ‘I was only doing my job.'

‘Yes, I could definitely do with someone like you.' Danny bent his head closer. ‘Have to clock a few of 'em sometimes and patch up a lot of the others. You could earn yourself a fortune up here.'

‘I'll have to think about it.'

‘Honest, Mark, I'd like you to give it a bit of thought. You can always stay with me till you make up your mind, see how the business is run.'

‘Where do you live then?'

‘Just up the road, got a couple of rooms. It ain't exactly the Ritz - in fact it's really a bit of a dump - but it'll do for now. Places are bloody hard to get round here, and they cost a bomb, and you have to find a packet in key money. But don't let me put you off. I can always put the word round - that's if you decide to stay.'

‘I really will have to think about it,' said Mark seriously.

‘So what you doing round this way then?'

‘We're going up West. It's a treat for Janet's birthday today. We're going to try and catch a film—
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.'

‘Happy birthday, my dear.'

‘Thank you.'

‘I've heard that's a great picture. Now what about a bite to eat?'

‘Thanks all the same, Danny, but we want to get on. We hope to get into the afternoon show.' Mark opened the door.