Always and Forever (16 page)

“Jake, is everything ok? Who was it?” I ask him cautiously.

He quickly tears himself away from his phone and smiles at
me but I can see that it’s false and he’s trying to put me at ease.

“Nobody, everything’s fine, I just need to be heading
back.”

“Oh, ok.” I mumble quietly.

I’m a little surprised by his sudden change in attitude but
I realise that whatever is bothering him really is none of my business. He’d
tell me if he wanted me to know.

“Come here.” He instructs me, the heat and the sizzling
chemistry between us instantly returns and my feet walk towards him of their
own free will. He places his hands on my hips and crushes my body against his.

“Jake, I checked the time while you were on your phone and
I really have to go.” I tell him, moving my head to the side so he can’t kiss
me. I know it seems cruel but I think a part of me is rebuffing him now because
I know he was hiding something from me when he looked at his phone. I have no
right to be mad or to doubt him but I can’t help but feel a small amount of
rejection.

“Ok, let’s get you home.”

It’s impossible for me to miss the dejected tone in his
voice and I feel a pang of guilt for turning away from him when every instinct
in my body told me not to.

When I’m almost home we say goodbye to one another and I
walk the short remaining distance by myself. I feel so terrible for the way I
dismissed Jake, I was still cold with him even when we said goodbye and I just
know I’m going to spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, regretting
the way I left things with him. It was wrong and I behaved immaturely but I
just know that he was concealing something from me, the expression on his face
told me he was lying to me and my insecurities continue to torture me as I
start to obsess about what it is. What is Jake hiding?

Jake

I wait until she’s out of sight and I can’t see her
anymore. As soon as she’s gone I reach for my phone and call Carla, she answers
straight away, thank God.

“Jake! Are you on your way home?” She asks me anxiously.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes. I got your message,
what’s going on? Is she still there?” I can hear raised voices in the
background and the sound of glass smashing as well as a load of jeering and
yelling.

“Yes she’s still here, please just hurry home, Jake. She’s
really freaking out. She says that she needs to see you and that she won’t
leave until she talks to you, she’s pretty wasted.”

“Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Don’t worry, Carla,
I’m almost home.” I hang up as soon as I’ve reassured her and shove the phone
back in my pocket. Carla sounded terrible so I really need to get my ass back
home as soon as possible.

I still can’t believe this is happening. I knew something
was wrong as soon as I saw Carla’s name come up on my phone. I knew she
wouldn’t be calling me unless it was an emergency. When I didn’t answer her
call she sent me a text asking me to come home as soon as I could because Sarah
was there and was causing a load of trouble. I know Sarah and what she can be
like, especially if she’s had a drink. I also hate the idea of Carla being at
home when a party’s going on so I quickly had to wrap up my evening with
Bethany so I could leave and sort this mess out.

It was obvious that Bethany was suspicious about the phone
call but I had no time to try and explain things to her. I don’t want her
knowing about my dark and twisted past, not yet anyway. It hurt me so much when
she turned away from me and stopped me from kissing her, even when she said
goodbye I could see the change in her, she was so distant. I didn’t want to let
her go, especially when she was so angry with me but I had no choice. I have to
get home and I’ll make it up to Bethany later… somehow.

I round the last corner of my street and spot my house in
the distance. There are far too many people here and Rihanna’s ‘Jump’ is
blaring out of every window of the house. God knows why the neighbours don’t
complain, probably because it’s my place and they’re scared of what I’ll do if
they phone the police. Little do they know they’d actually be doing me a favour
by getting rid of all of these people for me.

I can see Carla standing on her own and away from all of
the madness. She rakes her fingers through her long dark hair and I can see
that she’s close to despair. I don’t blame her; the chaos taking place here is
enough to scare anyone, especially someone as sweet as Carla. I’m overwhelmed
by the need to get her far away from here. She shouldn’t even be here in the
first place.

“Carla, where is she?” I hurry over to her and she jumps on
me, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly.

“Jake, thank God you’re here, I didn’t know who else to
call!”

I stroke her hair and try to calm her down, she’s close to
being hysterical and I know I won’t leave her side until she’s ok. Carla’s the
youngest of my sisters, the baby of the family and I’ve always been extremely
overprotective of her. She’s supposed to be staying at a friend’s house
whenever a party is held here but when I left the house earlier Carla wasn’t
even home and no one mentioned anything about another house party. I thought
I’d put a stop to that last week when I kicked everybody out at midnight.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here now. Where’s mum?” My eyes search
the crowds gathered outside but there’s no family members to be seen.

“She made herself scarce as usual; she’s just left us to
it. Sarah got here a couple of hours ago and at first I thought she was fine,
she seemed ok and she was definitely sober but as the night progressed she
started drinking and then she started asking where you are and who you were with.
She’s convinced herself that you’re now with somebody else and she’s been
telling anyone who will listen about… well, about what happened between the two
of you.”

I clench my fists and try to control some of my impending
rage. How dare she come to my house and speak about what happened. I told her
before that I never wanted her to speak about it, I actually forbade her from
ever mentioning it again. I did the same with my own family and that’s why
Carla looks absolutely terrified right now, she’s probably frightened that I’ll
bit her head off for even mentioning it.

“Where is she?” I demand.

“She was in the living room when I called you but I don’t
know where she is now.

I really don’t want Carla to witness this. My confrontation
with Sarah is going to be ugly and the last thing I want is for my baby sister
to be see anything that will upset her but at the same time I don’t want to
leave her alone out here. I need to know that she’s safe.

I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I spot my other sister
Leanne leaving the house. I stride over towards her and gently take hold of her
arm as I lead her over to Carla.

 “Why haven’t you been keeping an eye on Carla? Why is
she even here? You know I don’t want her around any of this shit. She phoned me
half an hour ago; she was really fucking scared and begged me to get back
home.”

“Jake, I’m really sorry. I had no idea. I’ve only just got
here myself. I didn’t even know Carla was here, I didn’t see her inside.”

“Well she is here and she’s in a right state so go over
there and stay with her. Don’t leave her side until I get rid of this lot. I
mean it, Leanne. Don’t let her out of your sight.”

By this time we’ve reached Carla and I force another
reassuring smile on my face.

“Are you ok?” Leanne embraces Carla and some of the tension
I’ve been carrying since I first got Carla’s message disappears. At least I can
now leave her and know she’s ok.

“Where’s Katie? She’s not in there, is she?” I abruptly
turn to Leanne, anxious to know where my other sister is.

“It’s ok, Jake. She’s not here; she’s spending the night at
a friend’s house.”

“Thank God. Listen, I want both of you to stay out here and
try to call mum, you never know she might actually answer her phone once in her
life. She needs to get back here; she should be taking some responsibility for
this.”

 Leanne nods her head in agreement and I squeeze
Carla’s shoulder when she smiles up at me with a look of appreciation. I never
want her to be afraid like that ever again. I’m her older brother; it’s my job
to keep her safe.

Turning my back, I walk towards the chaos and disorder
that’s taken over my house. I’m so fucking angry right now, this has got to
stop. I’m absolutely determined that this will never happen again.

A few people try to stop me to talk but I ignore them and
continue forward. Carla said Sarah was last seen inside so that’s exactly where
I’m heading. I can only imagine what I must look like right now. My eyes will
be blazing with fury, I can feel the tension in my shoulders and I probably
look like I’m about ready to murder someone.

I spot one of Sarah’s friends outside my house and I grab
hold of her arm, spinning her around to face me.

“Where is she?” I demand.

People close by inevitably turn to stare at us, it’s clear
by the sound of my voice that I’m not playing and they’ve known me long enough
to know that I’m not fucking around when I get like this.

“Jake, it’s not her fault. She’s wasted and she’s still so
upset over what happened.”

I love the fact that this bitch is trying to defend her.
She knows exactly what Sarah did and she still has the audacity to stand up for
her.

“Where. Is. She?” I ask her again, making sure my voice
sounds menacing and devoid of any emotion.

 I would never lay a finger on this girl but I need
her to know that I’m not messing around; I’m serious about putting an end to
Sarah’s bullshit.

As though she instinctively knew that I was outside and
looking for her Sarah exits my house right at that moment. She can barely stand
up straight and almost stumbles to the ground as she walks down the front door
steps. Her long blonde hair is loose and hanging down by her face. I’d
recognise it anywhere; it was her golden hair that first attracted me to her,
that and her piercing eyes which resemble the colour of the sky.

 My resolve to throw her out suddenly wavers and I
almost feel sorry for her when I see how drunk she is and what state she’s
allowed herself to get into. However, my sympathy doesn’t last for long when I
remember all of the pain and suffering she’s caused me over the last few
months. I need to end this between us, once and for all.

“Jake, thank God you’re here.” She slurs as she makes her
way over towards me unsteadily.

I stride over to her with purpose but before I can reach
her she ends up falling over on her ass as she twists her ankle in one of her
skyscraper heels. I haul her up by taking hold of both of her arms.

“What the fuck are you doing, Sarah?”

 “I knew you would come, Jake. I knew you would come
back for me. People have been saying that you’re with someone else but I told
them they were wrong, you wouldn’t do that to me, Jake. I know you wouldn’t.”
She smiles up at me, trying to be seductive but her blatant attempt at
flirtation makes me feel sick. She’s a part of my past that I thought I’d left
behind. I don’t want her around anymore, reminding me about what happened. I
shouldn’t have to deal with this; never again do I want to have this
conversation with her. This is the last time.

“Sarah, you need to go home. I don’t want you here.” I try
my best to convey my lack of feeling for her, hoping to sound adamant and firm.

She inhales sharply and I will myself to remain strong when
I see the tears start to fall down her face. You can never tell with Sarah if they’re
real or fake, she can be a spectacular actress and has managed to fool many
people in the past by her convincing performances.

“You can’t mean that, Jake.”

“I do, I want you to leave. Now.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere, I belong
here with you! You said you loved me, you told me that we were going to be
together forever, you said you’d never leave me!”

“I never said any of those things! It’s all in your head,
its all lies. I never told you that I love you, I never promised you anything
and I certainly didn’t say that we were forever.”

By now we’ve managed to attract the attention of a large
crowd of people, there’s a large circle been made around us, all of them seem
to be enthralled by our embarrassing public display.

“I haven’t imagined anything; I remember everything you
told me!”  

“You’re delusional. You need help.” I say determinedly,
fixing my cold stare on her. I feel absolutely nothing for this girl. She
nearly destroyed my life and now she’s trying to finish what she started.

“The truth is that seeing me hurts you. It’s because you
still have feelings for me, you just don’t want to admit it. You were crazy
about me once, Jake. I know I can make you feel that way again. Don’t you
remember how incredible it used to be between us? We were amazing and we can be
like that again. Just give me a second chance.” She runs her long fingernails
across the palm of my hand; I jerk it away but can still feel the scorching
heat tingling on my skin from where she touched me.

“I’ve seriously had enough of this. I don’t want you and
I’ll never want you again. We will never be together; you need to forget about
me and move on with your own life.”

“No! I can’t! You’re not thinking clearly, you need me. I
love you so much, Jake. We’re meant to be together, we have a connection that
no one can break, what we shared… what happened can bring us closer. Don’t give
up on us, baby, please…” She wraps her bony arms around my waist and people
start jeering as she presses her body right up against mine. The dress she’s
wearing is extremely short and a couple of months ago I’d have been thinking
how hot she looks but when I close my eyes the only face I see is Bethany.
She’s somehow worked her way into my every thought, I’ve never wanted anything
so badly and the girl clinging onto me right now is nothing but a reminder of
my past.

“Don’t you dare talk to me about what happened! I don’t
want to hear it, do you understand? I won’t be held responsible for my actions
if you push this any further, Sarah. Now I’m only going to ask you one more
time to leave. Don’t make me throw you out.”