BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (61 page)

If I did, I would go crazy, plain and
simple.

So I watched what could have been walk
away and silently steamed from the intense sensation of emotion that I felt.

Then again, I didn’t have too much time to
wallow in my pity, because just as Valerie was eclipsing from my sight, I heard
my cellphone ring. It chimed just the right tune to let me know that Dalilah
was summoning me.

I knew that if I didn’t answer, which I
really didn’t feel like doing, she would continue to call until I got fed up.
That would only equate to more problems and so, I let it ring for a minute
before I picked it up.

“Hey baby…” Dalilah answered slowly after
I said hello.

“Hi,” I replied, not in the mood to be
lovey, considering I felt as though Valerie had just dangled her affection for
me, just close enough so that I would take the bait, before snapping the trap
closed on my heart.

There was dead silence on the other end of
the line for a moment, just before she came back and said, “What’s the matter
with you?”

I shrugged, even though I knew she
couldn’t see me. “I’m just…tired.”

Dalilah didn’t care very much for my
tiredness, which was readily apparent when she grunted a sigh. “Well…I thought
you were going to come pick me up.”

I scrunched my eyes shut as I tried not to
make any noise, which would signal that I had completely forgot. “Yeah…Of
course,” I told her when I trusted myself to speak. “I…I was just going to call
you. Is it all right if I just hang out tonight? I’m really beat…”

“Yes, you are,” she answered after another
pause. “And no, it’s not.” Her voice suddenly sounded angry, but I couldn’t
understand why.

“What?” I demanded, feeling intensely
annoyed. “What are you talking about?”

“Look behind you…” she answered and I felt
a stab of fear run through my heart.

I turned around quickly to see Dalilah
glowering at me. I could have sworn that I felt my heart stop.

I wasn’t sure what she was up to, but I
was sure that whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t a good thing.

Oh
God,
I thought.
What did she hear?

“What are you doing here?” I yelled at her
through my fear and angst. At that point, I didn’t even care that she was going
to probably lash back at me, fully loaded and angry. I was still caught up on
the fact that she was following me and that made me livid.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She
glared at me. “You don’t look like you’re too tired,” she moved in closer and
added, “and you certainly didn’t look too tired when you were cozying up to
your girlfriend over there.”

“Fine,” I answered solidly. “But last time
I checked, I was able to hang out with whomever I wanted.”

“She is the enemy!” she exclaimed, as
though by meeting with Valerie, I had done something inexcusable.

I had to laugh, but it certainly was not
because I found much humor in the situation. I could not believe that she was
acting so foolish and petty. “I think you’re overreacting,” I replied. “I can
see whoever I please, Dalilah. What I want to know, is why you are here.”

Dalilah backed up, as though I had
physically struck her. She gasped and her mouth hung for a little while, as
though she was shocked beyond measure. Finally, she replied, “You were late to
pick me up. You completely abandoned me. I came to look for you, because I
thought that heathen of a woman might have ensnared you into her clutches once
again, and I couldn’t be more accurate.”

I opened my mouth to say something. I
thought, very briefly about telling her that in fact, she had it all wrong and
that I was actually the one who had requested the meeting. But I quickly
decided that would lead to more questions that I didn’t want to answer rather than
any kind of resolve. So, I just shook my head. “I can’t believe you!”

“Yeah, well, then I guess you can imagine
how I am feeling about you right about now.” She scoffed with disgust. “You
leave me without even the courtesy of an explanation to go talk to your sister,
who has done nothing but make you feel terrible from the moment your father
tried to force one big happy family on you and shut you out?” She paused to
shrug, but did not give me any more time than a quick second to respond. “You
are impossible. I just don’t get it. What is her allure?”

“She was my best friend. And she is still
a part of my family,” I answered her honestly, even though I thought that I
probably shouldn’t. Still, considering the conversation that Valerie and I had
just finished, giving this answer was still far better than having her find out
the truth; that is, if she wasn’t holding her true cards a little bit closer.

Dalilah rolled her eyes at me before
answering the true question that was on my mind, even though I dared not to ask
it. “So what were you two talking about anyway? It seemed pretty intense.” She
scowled.

I felt my face grow red. I felt the heat
of it spilling out of my pores and I wondered if she was able to see the
nervousness that came over me. I was angry but having this particular
conversation with her also made me extremely uncomfortable. “Not that it’s any
of your business…” I said and she immediately interrupted me.

“What do you mean, it’s none of my
business? Of course it’s my business. I’m trying to help you...” She glowered
at me and hissed, “Do you think I’m doing this for my health? I’m doing this so
that you don’t get hurt again by them…” She shook her head. “You’re so
ungrateful!”

“No, Dalilah…I’m not. I’m just annoyed. I
don’t like that you were following me.”

“Well, the more you talk, the more I think
that personal privacy isn’t the only reason you don’t want me to follow you.
Are you hiding something?” Her eyes gleamed with hate and aggravation as she
stared at me with a hardened expression.

“What?” I demanded, “No! I’m not hiding
anything. I just don’t want to have this conversation with you.” I pressed
forward before I exclaimed, “I swear! It was nothing and I’d like for it to
stay that way.”

“Then why the hell are you meeting her,
not telling me, and even skipping a date with me to do it?”

“Because I…” I stopped short. My breath
got caught in my throat and I gasped, as though I was trying to take even the
two words I had said back. I had become so consumed with not telling her about
the moment that Valerie and I shared that I almost let it slip that I had asked
Valerie here to talk to me about what had happened the other night; to
apologize for Dalilah’s actions.

“Because you what?” Dalilah demanded,
narrowing her eyes and stepping toward me.

I bowed my head slightly. “Nothing,
Dalilah. I’m sorry.”

“You will be!” she screamed, continuing to
glare at me, “Because if you can’t even answer a simple question, where you
were in the wrong, then I don’t have any interest in being with you!”

“What?” I felt my heart sink deeper into
the catacombs of my chest.
I can’t lose
two people I care about today…
I thought desperately and as she turned
around, whipping her hair behind her, I ran after her. I grasped her arm.
“Dalilah…wait…Come on…”

However, she just turned around and
screamed, “Get your hands off of me!” before she slapped me across the face.

I felt the pressure of the hit before the
searing burn and both of them hurt, in their own way. I yelled out and pulled
my hand up to my face. “What was that for?”

“For touching me. How dare you try to stop
me.” With that, she turned herself around again and stomped off.

I watched her leave and wondered what in
the world had just happened. Either with Valerie or with Dalilah, I honestly
didn’t have a clue.

Chapter
15

Valerie

What
the hell was that all about?
I thought as I flopped
onto my bed.

Upon returning to my bedroom, I felt a
strange sense of emptiness encompassing my being.

Flashbacks of years before, what he had
said and how he had reacted when I had made the same suggestion that he had
wanted me to fulfill tonight reminded me of exactly when I believed the
beginning of the end of our relationship began. For a long time, I had tried to
ignore that idea. It had not been simple and it had not really worked all that
well, but I had tried it nonetheless.

I tried to see it from his perspective,
but tonight, what he had said and how he had acted had only made me angry with
him. I had not expected to be angry, but I was. I had not expected to feel hurt
or betrayed either, but I was.

On top of all that, I was also confused.

I might have not actually believed him
when he said what he did that night, which felt like so many lifetimes ago now,
but I had wanted everything to work out. I had the intention of everything
being okay. Because I knew that he didn’t mean it, I was willing to work past
the hurt and the frustration that I felt after being rejected. But then our
relationship just sank further and further into an abyss of nothingness, until
it dissipated altogether.

Then, the moment that I was ready to give
up on any kind of relationship between Shawn and I, he dropped this bombshell
on me; and instead of making me happy, it only made me angrier with him.

Instead of erasing all of those hurt and
unpleasant feelings that I had, what had happened tonight had only compounded
what I was already feeling, as dormant as it was.

In a way, I felt as though I should be
happy. Tonight was confirmation that I was right all along and I should be
excited by that, but I wasn’t. I was just frustrated.

After a moment though, I heard a knock at
my door. I breathed deeply and tried to focus on not sounding as depressed as I
really was when I answered, “Come in.”

My mother came through the door easily and
smiled at me. “I thought I heard you come in.” She turned her head and added,
“Are you all right?”

“Yes. It’s just been a very long week.”

She nodded, almost as though she
understood exactly what I was talking about. “Sometimes that will happen.” She
sat down on my bed and smiled at me. “Is there anything you want to talk
about?”

I shrugged. “It’s just…you think you know
a person and then…they surprise you in the most awful, horrible way ever.”

Her lips pursed tightly for a moment,
before her eyes softened and she asked, “Are you and Shawn still fighting?”

Define
fighting?
I thought, but knew that one thing I could not
confess to my mother was the longing that I had, that I had always had of Shawn
and I being together. So instead of opening that never-ending barrel of
problems, I simply nodded.

“I’m not sure exactly what is going on
with Shawn right now, but there are some things he just needs to work out on
his own.” She shrugged before she added, “I don’t know why he is acting so
strange, after all, he hasn’t even returned his father’s phone calls, but I
think all he needs is time.” She lightly put her hand on my arm before she said
encouragingly. “The important thing…Well, really all that you can do right now,
is give him his space, be there if he wants to talk to you and remember that
the way that he is acting isn’t your fault. He probably doesn’t even know why
he is acting this way and that is probably very aggravating to him.” She smiled
and shook her head. “He loves you…”

I blinked at her and my heart began to
pound wildly in my chest, nervous that my mother was reading between the lines.
However, I refrained from saying anything, or incriminatingly denying this,
which I was happy about; because after her short pause, she moved into a far
more acceptable avenue for her advice.

“I know he does. You are his best friend
and you always have been. We, along with his father, have always been there for
him. We are his family.” She shrugged as my heartbeat began to return to normal
rates and I was sure that the color was also beginning to return to my face.
“Unfortunately, sometimes even the closest families have their arguments and
their disagreements that get blown out of proportion, especially when it comes
to teenagers.” She laughed then, realizing that she was talking to her
eighteen-year-old daughter. “But my point is, he is probably just trying to
find himself. As a parent my role is to let him do that himself. He has to
fall, or at least wander around blindly for a little while before he
understands what it is he really wants…and as his friend, you need to let him
do the same.”

I smiled at her and nodded. “Thanks, Mom.”

With that, she beamed at me. “I miss him
too, but eventually, he will find his way back to us. It is just a matter of
time.” She stood up
 
and began to walk
out, but before she left, she offhandedly added, “The most important thing for
us now is to never push him away when he is trying to come toward us.”

At that, I felt my heart begin to beat
quickly again and I felt sick.

Thankfully, my mother was content to leave
me to myself and therefore, she only looked back at me for a moment. I just
nodded carefully, before she turned and closed the door.