Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (21 page)

(P
ROVERBS
11:3).

Survey Test:
What if everyone followed my example?

“Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity”

(1 T
IMOTHY
4:12).

Spiritual Test:
Am I being people-pressured or Spirit-led?

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ”

(G
ALATIANS
1:10).

Stumbling Test:
Could this cause another person to stumble?

“It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall”

(R
OMANS
14:21).

Serenity Test:
Have I prayed and received peace about this decision?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:6-7).

Sanctification Test:
Will this keep me from growing in the character of Christ?

“We…are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
3:18).

Daisies aren’t the only things that can plummet us to the bottom of a decision-making ditch. Operating on gut instinct, heeding unwise counsel, and turning to supernatural phenomena all muddy our ability to make clear, God-directed decisions.

Choose to get on the path of recovery by turning only to sound biblical methods for guidance. Soon you’ll have the map of Christlike maturity marking all your decisions!

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, And let the discerning get guidance”

(P
ROVERBS
1:5).

Here are some practical suggestions regarding G-U-I-D-A-N-C-E.

G
Gifts

Discover and use the spiritual gifts, talents, and abilities God has given you to serve others. Discern His direction by noticing opportunities He brings to develop those gifts (1 Peter 4:10).

— Reflect on what you really enjoy doing and be aware of weaknesses.

— Write down past accomplishments that have brought you joy.

— Ask a friend to evaluate your strengths.

U
Understanding

Take time to clearly discern what the decision is about and what is involved (Proverbs 15:21).

— Do you know all the facts?

— Are you aware of the consequences of your choices?

— Is there a deadline for the decision?

I
Impressions

The Spirit of God often brings conviction or establishes truth in your heart (Psalm 16:7).

— Pray for God to speak to you and confirm your impression through another source.

— Consider a time of fasting, if led to do so.

— Spend time in quiet meditation, seeking God’s heart.

D
Desires

When you seek to please the Lord in all areas of your life, His desires become the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

— Study Scripture so you can better know God’s heart.

— Pray, “Lord, may I see my sin as You see it. May I hate my sin as You hate it.”

— Find and think upon scriptures that promise His strength for your weaknesses.

A
Advice

God often speaks to us through others (Proverbs 19:20). Seek counsel from those who are…

— grounded in the Word of God.

— mature in godly wisdom.

— living successfully, having overcome similar circumstances.

N
Necessity

Evaluate your God-given responsibilities and choose your actions appropriately (James 4:17). Exercise great care with regard to…

— choices that would keep you away from young children at home for an extended time.

— moving a long distance from a dependent elderly parent.

— taking a vacation when your employer needs assistance in a rare emergency (consider the biblical principle of a submissive attitude toward those in authority over you).

C
Circumstances

Not all doors are opened by God, but closed doors can help in decision making (Proverbs 16:9).

— Consider the obvious situations and realize they are not necessarily the final answer.

— Learn to see beyond circumstances to what God wants to accomplish.

— When unsure about an open door, ask God to close the door if it is not His will for you to go through it.

E
Elimination

Even though all choices may be permissible, some may not be the best (1 Corinthians 10:23). Eliminate one by one the options available to you and choices that…

— place you in tempting situations.

— would not be the best use of your time.

— require skills you don’t have.

When time has run out and you still don’t know what to do, pray:

God plays no game of hide-and-seek—
the closer you draw to the heart of God,
the clearer you’ll know the will of God.
He reveals His will day by day…He unrolls the scroll one line at a time.

—JH

Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalm 32:8

Psalm 25:9

James 1:5

Proverbs 16:9

Psalm 40:8

John 16:13

Matthew 6:10

1 Corinthians 10:31

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Fear, Forgiveness, Grief Recovery, Habits, Hope, Identity, Illness, Manipulation, Marriage, Parenting, Worry
.

H
eavy hearts and sustained sadness are just two characteristics of depression. The psychological condition affects the whole person—body, soul, and spirit—and generates a pervasive sense of hopelessness. For those in the ditch of depression, it can feel like the walls are closing in.

But depression doesn’t have to be permanent. Healing is possible, and joy can be restored.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”

(P
SALM
42:5).

—
Grieve
over normal losses.

—
Experience
natural deterioration due to the passing of years—your body chemistry can change and become compromised.

—
Suffer
consequences of sinful choices, yet continue without change.

—
Don’t
take necessary steps for healing, seek biblical counseling, memorize Scripture, read Christian materials, get medical help when appropriate.

—
Hold
on to self-pity, anger, and bitterness instead of choosing to forgive.

—
Use
depression to manipulate others.

—
Continually
choose to blame God and others for your unhappiness.

—
Are
depressed because you choose to let others control you instead of choosing to obey Christ. Allow Him to be in control of you.

Depressed persons display sad, discouraged, joyless dispositions. Major depressive episodes often involve five or more of the following classic symptoms nearly every day for at least two weeks:
¹

— Pervasive depressed mood

— Diminished pleasure in usual activities

— Significant change in appetite or weight

— Fatigue or loss of energy

— Diminished ability to think clearly, evaluate, or concentrate

— Slower or more agitated movements

— Too little or too much sleep

— Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

— Suicidal thoughts/attempts

No. Various physical conditions can contribute to depression. In bipolar and postpartum depression, a biochemical imbalance exists that can generally be treated successfully with medication. Unfortunately, many Christians fear being labeled unspiritual if they seek medical help for depression. Yet by doing nothing, they suffer needlessly.

Sometimes medication is needed for a period of time to “level out” mountainous swings so those in the throes of depression can see truth and walk on level ground. Ezekiel 47:12 explains that God made “leaves for healing.” Medicine is biblical. However, medicine should be used not to numb pain or to escape it, but to help a person process pain. Also, medication should be the last avenue tried only after all other steps have been taken—and always in conjunction with counseling.

Hormonal imbalance:
Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Hormonal changes during puberty, postpartum (after childbirth), and perimenopause (around menopause) can lead to depression.