Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (20 page)

I recommend waxing instead of shaving. Waxing is necessary every three to six weeks, depending on hair growth. I’m an aesthetician, and many of my customers, men and women, come in monthly for a wax. Just make sure the hair isn’t too long. Ouch!—F.B., Venice, California

That’s an option, though the prospect of someone pouring hot wax near our genitals sounds…well, actually, it sounds great. It’s the part where the pubes are ripped out en masse that give us the chills. Shaving will always have its appeal, especially when a partner is involved. First, it’s much easier to do at home. Second, it can build trust in a relationship. Third, you need to shave often, and that tends to put your partner’s face near your fun parts on a regular basis.

Your advice on how to avoid razor burn when shaving a woman’s genitals is a little off. Most soaps, foams and gels contain alcohol, which will irritate the skin. We sell dancewear to strippers throughout the Carolinas and work primarily in the dressing rooms. I happened on a terrific remedy that most of my customers swear by. It is Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion Advanced Healing Formula, which contains vitamin E (for healing) and petroleum jelly (for a smoother “lather”). Pour a capful, spread it into your skin (it also can be used for legs and underarms) and shave with a two-blade razor. The razor burn should disappear soon enough.—John Greene, Naughty Naughteaze, Greensboro, North Carolina

Nice gig.

Doing the Brazilian

What is a Brazilian bikini wax? Why are guys so hot over it?—J.W., San Francisco, California

They’re hot for it because it reveals more woman. It has a reputation for enhancing oral sex and intercourse by uncovering acres of sensitive skin. (Gwyneth Paltrow once thanked the J Sisters, seven Brazilian siblings who run a New York salon, for changing her life.) The Brazilian involves using hot wax to remove every hair, including those in the butt crack and on the taint and labia, with the exception of a landing strip above the vulva. The process is unpleasant
and must be repeated monthly. Also known as a Playboy because of its popularity among our models, it originated with thong bikinis. According to stylists at another New York hot spot, Completely Bare, the trend lately is to leave nothing behind, because some shorts and jeans ride low enough to reveal the tip of the strip. The salon also offers glue-on crystals or hand-painted graffiti, including some that glow in the dark. If you’d rather not spread for a stranger, visit JustKittyng.com, which offers home-stencil kits. Or visit the Archive and Alwyn Salon in London. It specializes in merkins, which are pubic wigs made from nylon or hair (human or yak) fashioned into logos, targets, hearts or other shapes and affixed with a G-string or glue. We wear one over our bald spot.

Hairy women are sexy

Playboy
once published a photo of a beautiful woman described as “hirsute Samantha.” How dare you! As an endocrinologist, I know this girl is normal, as is any woman who doesn’t shave her armpits, including the majority in Europe and Latin America. Don’t you understand that axillary hair represents in many ways a sample of what is in the crotch? That’s something Spanish dancers know as they raise their arms.—C.S., Chevy Chase, Maryland

What can we say? The model is hirsute—and sexy, which is why we ran the photo. There’s something to be said for body hair. First, it captures pheromones. Second, it means she won’t be borrowing your razor.

My wife won’t shave for me

My wife just gave birth to our second child. I asked her nicely if she intended to wax, shave or trim her pubic area anytime soon. She became upset that I even mentioned it. How do I bring up the topic again without annoying her? I would love her to “clean house” because a lot of pubic hair is a turnoff to me.—S.M., Nutley, New Jersey

We admire your focus, but your timing needs work. Your wife blew up because she’s managing a newborn while you redesign her pubic hair. Put down your sketch pad, warm a bottle and wait for her to calm down. It usually takes about three years.

I shave my entire body

Some co-workers noticed that my arms are shaved. They asked if I shave other parts of my body. When I told them I shave everything, they decided that I must be gay. I’m not gay, just hairy. I even tweeze my eyebrows. My girlfriend says she loves my hairless body. So why do my co-workers have such a problem with it?—C.B., Clarksville, Tennessee

Because they’re hairy and they aren’t getting laid. You must be slippery in the shower.

Shaving for the toga party

My fraternity brothers and I have scheduled a toga party with a hot sorority. We can’t decide whether to shave our chests. If we don’t, the women may be turned off. If we do, we may get teased for being unmasculine. What should we do?—S.W., Buffalo, New York

It depends—do you want to look like a fraternity of gladiators or bathhouse servants? The real Romans wore togas over tunics (which resembled T-shirts with no sleeves). Try that. In the later years of the empire, the only women who wore togas were prostitutes. Should be a good time.

The battle against bald

I’m 29, and my hairline is receding at a frightening rate. The hair-restoration industry has ads everywhere claiming the days of hair plugs are gone. Is there any truth to this?—J.S., New York, New York

Transplants have become smaller (hair follicles are transplanted from the back or side of the head in groups of two or three rather than 15 to 20), which means they can be placed closer together to provide a more natural look. But the smaller and more numerous the grafts, the more delicate the operation and the greater the chance the follicles will be damaged. That’s why the procedure costs thousands of dollars. Nonsurgical solutions include Rogaine (rubbed on your scalp) and Propecia (a daily pill), which slow hair loss by blocking the production of DHT, a form of testosterone that causes male-pattern baldness. These treatments are most effective on the crown. Meanwhile, science marches on. Researchers have discovered that manipulating a gene in bald mice causes their hair to start growing. The gene also exists in humans, so the hope is that it could eventually lead to a cure for androgenetic alopecia, or inherited baldness—by far the most common type. Researchers are also working on cloning hair cells in the lab that can be injected into the scalp. But in a University of Toronto experiment that tried this, only four of 23 subjects grew hair, and only one ended up with what the lead researcher called a “nice tuft.” Nevertheless, the transplant chain Bosley Medical
and the British biotech firm Intercytex promise to have “cellular-based hair-multiplication technology” available soon.

On the clock

I shave and brush my teeth in the shower each morning to save time. My girlfriend says this is uncivilized and barbaric. What does the Advisor think?—C.L., Huntington Beach, California

Don’t tell her about the peeing.

Getting rid of dark circles

I have started to notice dark circles under my eyes. Is there a cream that can do everything from moisturizing to eliminating wrinkles?—M.D., Miami, Florida

A cream can’t fix the circles, but it can hide them. As we age, the thin skin beneath our eyes becomes thinner and wrinkles, making the veins beneath appear more prominent. People with allergies, eczema, hay fever or asthma may have darker circles because the veins swell. (The traditional cucumber treatment is designed to reduce the swelling.) Our skin care writer, Donald Charles Richardson, suggests Surface Optimizing Skin Cream by Aramis as a cover-up.

Stop making scents

How much cologne is too much?—S.C., Columbus, Ohio

We could smell it on your letter. That’s too much. The best advice we’ve heard is, “Spray enough that people know you’re there, but not enough that they know you’re coming.” No one should smell you until you’re within about an arm’s length—what the fragrance industry calls your “scent circle”—and you shouldn’t smell yourself unless you check your wrists. If you’re using a standard bottle, don’t splash. That happens only in commercials. Instead, apply a dab on one or both wrists, and/or the neck. Some guys also add a dab to their thighs, chest or back, for that all-over freshness. With spray bottles, limit yourself to two spritzes. A good cologne will last all day, especially if you have oily skin, which holds it better. If you’re headed out for the evening, ask your girlfriend’s opinion before applying a refresher dab.

HEALTH

Keep your body in mind.

Is sex good for you?

My wife heard somewhere that frequent intercourse can take years off a person’s life. The theory is that rushing hormones speed up the aging process and knock down the immune system. Is that true? Please respond soon.—T.C., Green Bay, Wisconsin

We’ve heard the opposite. Research suggests that the more orgasms a man has, the longer he’ll live. Scientists reached this conclusion after studying 918 middle-aged men from the Welsh village of Caerphilly. Between 1979 and 1983 they gave each man a physical exam and included questions about how often he had sex. Ten years later the scientists found that the men who said they had sex twice a week were half as likely to have died as those who had sex once a month. The researchers joked that “intervention programs could be considered, perhaps based on the exciting ‘at least five a day’ campaign aimed at increasing fruit and vegetable consumption.” If you’re tempted to use these findings to get laid (“Baby, I can’t live without you”), keep in mind that they may only prove that healthy people have more sex than sick people do.

Power naps

When I feel tired at work, I close my door, take a 15-minute nap and awake feeling recharged. How is it possible to be able to rejuvenate my system so quickly? Why don’t I feel that alert when I wake up in the morning?—R.C., Wallkill, New York

Because you need more sleep. Most adults require at least eight hours each night (excluding the two hours you have sex) and a regular schedule (same time to bed, same time to wake, including weekends). People who can’t manage that nod off when their body temperature dips about eight hours after they get up, typically between 3
PM
and 5
PM
. That’s why half the world takes a siesta. It’s best to get enough sleep at night, but if you don’t, take a 20-minute power nap. If you have a cubicle, use the trick we learned from Dilbert: Put your forehead on the desk and a pencil on the floor. If someone wakes you, pick up the pencil.

Is pain bad for you?

Is pain bad for the body? I don’t like it, but at the same time I’m reluctant to pop a pill every time I feel discomfort.—J.P., Las Vegas, Nevada

In the sense that it keeps you from touching a hot stove, it’s not bad. (Those rare people born without the ability to feel pain—a mutation known as HSAN V—tend to die young.) Pain sends a message we often don’t want to hear: You’re working too hard, you have to come out of the game, etc. The risk is that acute pain may become chronic. One hypothesis for why this occurs is that when acute pain isn’t treated, your nerves get more time to practice transmitting pain signals to the brain, and that makes them better at it.

Is it healthier to sleep nude?

About 30 years ago I saw the French film
Shoot the Piano Player
. In one scene, the lead character is awakened by a knock on the door and he answers in the buff. The visitor asks if he always sleeps in the nude and he says, “It’s healthier that way.” The film inspired me to sleep nude, and I’ve done so ever since. My wife of 20 years also sleeps nude and we have great health, so obviously it’s not unhealthy. I can’t imagine wearing anything as constricting as underwear to bed. I have read that approximately 20 percent of men and 6 percent of women sleep naked. But is there any evidence that sleeping in the nude is healthier?—J.W., San Diego, California