Authors: Mark Tufo
“Good for the soul,” he’d told her between inhalations.
“Not if you’re on fire,” she’d told him.
“It’s a small joint; I’m not going to catch fire from this.” He stopped to take a
look at the cherry at the end of the homemade cigarette. “Now, back in ‘76, Pinty
made a huge one.” Trip extended his hands. “Now
that
one caught my hair on fire. Almost joined the army because of that.”
“What?” Steph asked. Looking around for zombies she knew had to be around. Trip couldn’t
have cared less about his surroundings as he would take a drag and then make a few
pumps to keep the liquid flowing.
“Yeah, I burned a patch of my hair down so low that Pinty said I was starting to look
like an army man. I guess they give you these short haircuts.” Trip loosed an involuntary
shiver thinking about it. “At the time, I figured I’d join and they could even my
hair out to match the burnt part.”
“Wait,” Steph said. “You were going to join the Army for the haircut?”
“I didn’t have any money for a barber,” Trip said as if that explained everything
perfectly.
“What stopped you?”
“From what?” he asked, looking at her blankly.
“Joining the Army.” She smiled, thinking of a drill instructor trying to get Trip
to do anything military-like. Although, knowing him, she figured he’d be an officer
before boot camp was over, some sort of promoting from within the enlisted ranks test.
“The Army was closed.”
“They were closed?”
“Yeah, it was Sunday. Even Army guys get to take a day off and partake of some Mother
Earth.” He grinned once again, holding up his rapidly depleting joint.
“Why the Army and not the Marines?” Stephanie asked, trying to distract herself from
everything else, if she was being completely honest.
“I wanted a little off the top,” Trip told her. “I’m not crazy.”
“Give me some of that,” she said, reaching. She didn’t normally smoke weed, but he
seemed to be enjoying himself, and if she could take in just a small measure of that,
then it would be worth it. She took two puffs, on the second she began to feel the
effects. Only, instead of it relaxing her, it made her even more paranoid than she
had been. “We should get back in the bus.”
“I’d like to see if they have any munchies. I could really go for a tuna fish and
bacon sandwich.”
She’d never heard of the combination before, but it did have its merits.
“I’ll be right back,” Trip said as he finished gassing up. He put the hand pump in
the luggage carrier under the bus.
Stephanie was frozen in a haze. She couldn’t decide if she should wait right there,
go in with her husband or get in the bus and start it up. She didn’t know if it was
messages from her own drug befuddled mind or one of Trip’s invisible entourage, but
she thought starting the bus seemed the wisest course to take.
Trip came out a few moments later, his hands full of items he had picked up inside.
The door had no sooner closed behind him when Stephanie saw the zombie peering through
the glass at him.
“Trip, run!” she had shouted from the steps of the bus.
“Geez, I know you’re hungry, but I’ll drop stuff if I do that. I’ll be there in a
second.”
Steph watched in agonizing detail as the door opened a crack, the zombie taking this
point in time to figure out the machinations of the door. Trip was halfway to the
bus when the zombie stepped through the opening.
“I want the food now!” Stephanie screamed. Looking over her husband’s shoulder at
the rapidly approaching zombie, who, if he could have vocalized it, would have used
the exact same words.
Trip started jogging. “Never seen someone get violent over the munchies,” Trip stated
as he ran.
Stephanie ran back to her seat and grabbed her pistol, quickly getting back to the
step, she pointed.
“Holy cow, Steph, I said I’m coming.” Trip added an extra gear to his pace. He was
within ten feet of her, the zombie within grasping distance of her husband. She didn’t
have a shot from this angle. Trip’s confused mug dominated her field of vision. “Is
this because they didn’t have bread?”
“Get in here!” she shouted, grabbing his shoulder and physically yanking him into
the vehicle with her free hand. Her right hand bucked as she fired the gun. The zombie’s
knees buckled, his head slamming off the bottom step.
“Did he not have a ticket?” Trip asked, looking down upon the body. “Do I have a ticket?”
he asked, dropping all the food on the floor so he could check his pockets.
Steph gingerly pushed the leaking head off the step. “Shut the door, Trip.” She could
see dozens of zombies running across the parking lot towards them.
“I’m sorry!” he shouted before he closed the door. “I don’t have enough food for all
of you!” And with that he pulled away.
Stephanie fell back into the seat behind Trip. The ordeal had only lasted half a minute
and she was exhausted. She was mad at herself that she still held so much anger towards
Curtez for throwing them out. He’d killed them plain and simple. Sure, not yet, but
eventually Trip’s angels would be looking in the wrong direction and it would come
swiftly and painfully. Life in the hotel wasn’t easy, and it was still dangerous,
but nothing like life on the road. The odds they were going to find this Michael/Ponch
guy were slim.
Maybe she could tell Trip to turn around. She was sure that if she pleaded with Curtez,
he’d take them back. She’d do double the work if that’s what it took. She was about
to tell Trip her thoughts when he abruptly stopped the bus in the middle of the road.
“Ready for some lunch?” he asked as if nothing had just happened.
“Sure,” she said with resignation.
“It’s okay, honey, I got some great crackers. You’ll never notice that there’s no
bread.”
“You still think I’m concerned about the bread?” she asked with an edge to her voice.
“Well, who wouldn’t be?”
He gathered up some of the items that were on the ground and went out the door. She
followed after a few minutes. He was busy mixing up a couple of cans of tuna with
some mayonnaise. He had scooped out some mayo and then proceeded to dump the fish
into the jar. Stephanie’s stomach roiled a bit at the thought of that much of the
condiment. He popped open some Ritz crackers, doused it in spray cheese, put on a
thick layer of his tuna mixture, followed by some turkey jerky and then topped it
off with another cracker.
“They didn’t have any bacon,” he said abashedly as he handed her the makeshift sandwich.
Mayo dripped around her fingers as she took the mini-meal from him.
“Eat it, eat it,” he goaded, smiling as he watched her.
“Trip, I don’t think I’m hungry,” she said as some yellowish-white, paste-like substance
began to congeal around her fingers.
“Put it in your mouth, you’ll feel better,” he told her as he made his own.
She tentatively nibbled around the edges. Her stomach wanted what her eyes didn’t.
She relented and bit halfway through.
“Oh, my gawd, this is delicious.” She made sure to wipe off the stuff that was oozing
down her face.
“Told you.” He popped a whole one in himself.
They were sitting on the roadway, leaning against the bus when they had finally exhausted
their supply of crackers. Trip reached his fingers deep into the mayo jar and pulled
out a small amount of mixture. “Split it with you.”
“I’m stuffed,” she told him right before she took two of his fingers in her mouth.
He looked slightly saddened. “Relax, tilt your head back.” Trip did as he was told
and Steph proceeded to fill his mouth with spray cheese.
“Ewuff!” he said, trying to tell her that he had enough. Yet he didn’t move his head
to get away. She started to spray the cheese onto his face and beard. He swallowed
hard and started rubbing his face all over hers.
“You’re a mess!” Steph told him as she stood and ran to get away.
Trip stayed where he was, entirely too busy eating the food off his face to move.
“This is too good to waste.”
“Thank you, Trip.” Stephanie came back and kissed him passionately. “I needed that.”
“I didn’t know I needed that until just now. You know what would go good with this
right now?”
“What?” she asked him, her hand trailing down his shirt.
“Some wine. Some wine would go great with this cheese.”
“How about after?”
Trip touched the tips of his fingers. “Cheese, wine...more cheese?” He asked when
he got to his third finger.
“I’m not talking cheese, Trip.”
“Later, honey. I think right now we really should get that wine.”
She was about to protest when she heard the sounds of man. Engines to be specific…and
more than one. “So just now you thought getting wine would be a good idea? Who told
you that?”
“It wasn’t right now, it was in the past…just a little while ago. And all the ritzy
people drink wine with cheese, everyone knows that.” As he was talking, he was ushering
her into the bus. He had no sooner shut the door and started the bus back up when
they saw the source of the noise. A gang of bikers was coming up behind them.
“Are they bad people, Trip, do you know that?” she asked, looking from him to the
approaching motorcycles.
“They’re not funky, that I know. The funkies mostly walk and run…always trying to
cut in lines.”
“The wine, though, it would be bad not getting it?”
“Sure it would. You can’t effectively cleanse the palate without a proper chardonnay.”
“Well then, let’s go.” She sat down to make sure her firearm was loaded and ready
to go. Stephanie got up to walk a few seats away from Trip so that if they started
shooting at her, they wouldn’t be as likely to hit Trip.
“Hey, lady, no walking in the aisles while the bus is moving,” he told her, and he
wasn’t kidding.