Giving You Forever (35 page)

“I’ll be here,” I answer, nodding my head and smiling back at her.

“I’m really proud of you, Nolan. I worried for a while. All the baggage I knew you still carried...I’m glad you got rid of it. The change is visible.”

“Thanks, sis, but I still have one more thing to take care of before I can say that I’m rid of all the demons.”

The baggage.

She gives me a skeptical look.

“Margo?”

Chewing on my bottom lip, I nod my head.

“Yup,” I exhale as I answer.

“That’s a big step.”

“It’s the final step.”

Once we get back from Bath, I finally make the call to Margo, making plans for lunch today. We keep it casual, just at the café down the street. Of course, she sounds shocked to hear my voice on the other side of the line, but is more than willing to meet with me. I think she was just waiting on me, too.

With a knot in my stomach and not really having a game plan of what I plan on saying to her, I sit at a table towards the front and wait for her, chewing on my bottom lip and running my hand through my hair more than once.

Within minutes, the entrance door chimes and I see her walk in. My first instinct isn’t to kill her like last time, so already this is going well. She scans the area and I stand when she spots me. She walks over with a tight grin, probably just as nervous.

“Hi, Nolan,” she greets me when she comes within hearing distance.

I surprise her by giving her a casual, one handed hug, “Hi, Margo, thanks for coming.”

Taking the seat across from me a smile tugs at her lips, “Yeah. Of course.”

“I didn’t know if you drank coffee of not, so I just got you a bottled water,” I motion to the one on the table.

“No, yeah, that’s fine…thanks.”

There’s a quick silence before we both try to speak at the same time.

“Nolan…”

“I’m…”

We both grin.

“Sorry,” I tell her. “Go ahead.”

Inhaling through her nose, she continues, “I just wanted to say that I was sorry with the whole wedding planning thing. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have been honest.”

“No, I get it. I understand your intentions. It just probably wasn’t the best way to meet again.”

“I know,” she looks down to her folded hands in her lap. “It just seemed a little like fate when Alexa called that day. Like it was finally my opportunity to make things right.”

I nod my head because I really do understand. I just didn’t at the time.

“That’s not why I called, though, not to rehash it. It’s done. It’s over with. I get it.”

The relief shedding her body is visible as her shoulders relax and posture becomes more natural.

“I wanted you to know that I forgive you. That I’m happy you turned your life around and that you did right by yourself. I’d be a hypocrite if I held your past against you.”

She smiles, eyes becoming glossy.

“You don’t know how much that means to me, Nolan.” She runs a finger under her eye, preventing the tears to fall. “I’ve carried that regret for so many years. I still do.”

I stay away from talking about Layla. It’s not worth bringing it up. It’s in the past.

“You shouldn’t. It’s your past, and you shouldn’t let it determine your future. It doesn’t define who you are today.”

It feels great to say that out loud. To say it and actually mean it. I never thought I’d ever be able to do it, but damn am I happy that I did.

She nods her head.

“I’m trying.”

“It looks like you’re doing well for yourself.” I switch the topic, seeing her become emotional.

She swallows and nods her head, bringing a smile back to her face.

“Yeah, I can’t believe how much the business has taken off. When I moved back and finished rehab, Aunt Lily helped me get back on my feet, letting me stay with her until I saved up some money. I changed everything, even started going by Meg instead of Margo in hopes that our old friends wouldn’t try and get back in touch with me. I worked my butt off, working for a different party planning business for a couple of years so that I could save enough to start my own and, well, it’s going great.”

“Yeah, Alexa was in awe of your website when she saw it.”

“I heard your wedding was beautiful,” she says with a warm smile.

A rush of emotion fills my chest, still floored that Alexa is finally my wife and what an amazing day it was.

“It was. It was perfect,” I tell her, remembering how beautiful Alexa looked. The picture I saved in my memory of her walking down the aisle towards me is one that I will never forget. It was the best moment of my life.

“I’m really happy for you, Nolan. Alexa is great. So sweet and
beautiful
.”

“Thanks. She is.” I grin. “She’s incredible. I honestly don’t know if we’d be sitting here today if it weren’t for her. She opened my eyes to a lot of things.”

“That’s really great. It took me a long time to see things through a different light,” she says, exhaling. “Lots of hours in therapy.”

“Yeah, therapy only helped me so much. Alexa is who saved me.”

Alexa is who broke down my wall and showed me the path to forgiveness, to forgive myself.

I forgive myself.

One Year Later

– ALEXA –

Nolan paces the waiting room, not being able to sit still. Of course, I can’t blame him, the last time we were in this very situation, the outcome was not what we were hoping, but this time is different. I know that everything is fine. I can feel it.

“Alexa Pratt,” a woman calls my name, a manila folder in hand.

I stand, grabbing Nolan’s hand, smiling as we walk towards her.

“Okay, sweetie,” she says once we all get inside the exam room. “Go ahead and climb on up there. I just need you to fold the top of your pants down a little bit.”

“I don’t need to undress?” I ask, remembering that I did last time.

“Nope, you should be far enough along to do it externally,” she smiles, squirting the top of the probe with some gel. Sitting down on the stool and powering up the screen, she asks, “Ready?”

I look at Nolan, taking a deep breath. He takes my hand and smiles.

“We’re ready.”

– NOLAN –

Just as before, she moves the device all around, typing on the keyboard after every few seconds, making my anticipation rise higher and higher with each passing minute. However unlike before, after a few moments longer, a large smile spreads over her face, causing a sense of relief to flood my body.

Oh, thank god!

“Okay so, here’s your uterus,” she points to the screen. “And here’s baby A,” she points. “And, here’s baby B.”

“Um…” My breath hitches, stumbling for words. “Did you just…”

A smile reaching both sides of her face, she confirms, “Yup, there are two.”

Running my hand through my hair, I look up at Alexa, tears already streaming down her face.

“Oh my God, doll,” I start to tell her, now standing up to kiss her lips. “We’re having twins.”

Staying up near Alexa’s head, she turns to face the woman.

“Do they look okay? Their hearts?”

“Yup, if you actually look closely,” she points to something that looks to be flickering, “that little blinking right there, that’s their little hearts beating. And beating perfectly, I might add.”

My body instantly melts, seeing my babies alive and healthy, comforted in their mommy’s belly. It’s in that moment that I realize that I have been forgiven. God has finally forgiven me. Given me back both of my lost babies, alive and healthy, proving me worthy of the happiness I now have.

The world is with me and not against me.

I’ve been forgiven.

Running From Forever

Book 5 in The Forever Series

Releasing Fall 2013

Prologue

Trevor,

I’m sorry to have to leave this in a note, but I have to because my train leaves before you get home. I’d call you, but I don’t want to ruin your day at work.

Anyway, I can’t stay. I have to go. I’m not who you think I am, not even close. I’ve thought about your proposal from yesterday and I just can’t say yes. I can’t say yes when we don’t have the same outlook. I don’t want to settle down have a family and everything that goes with it. I know that’s what you want, and yes, you should have it–you deserve it. I just can’t give that to you. That’s not what I want.

I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you because I do. I always have. From the moment we met freshman year, I knew you’d be the one who could tame me, who’d make me settle down with one person...and you have, until now. The last three and a half years have been wonderful. I loved every minute of it, but I have to go. I have to move on and do the things that I have always dreamed of doing.

I’ve accepted a job at a production company in the city. I start tomorrow. I should have told you. I should have told you when I found out, but I couldn’t. Every time I tried, you did something sweet, so I couldn’t, and now it’s too late. I board my train in an hour and don’t have time to tell you except through this letter. So, I’m sorry. I suck at this. I suck at goodbyes.

I hope that you find someone wonderful. Someone who will love you and give you the happily ever after that you’re looking for. I’m just not a fairy tale ending kind of girl and deep down I think you know that. I hope you know that. For some reason I think that this won’t come as much of a surprise to you–maybe even something that you’d expect, or maybe I’m just trying to tell myself this so that I don’t feel as bad. Anyway, I’m sorry. Good luck with everything. I love you, Trev. Take care.

Love,

Kayla

Acknowledgements

First, and most importantly, I need to thank my readers and fans. Daily, you make me smile, make me laugh, and give me the motivation to keep writing. Who knows what book I’d be on at this point if it weren’t for your constant love and support. So thank you!!! Y’all are amazing.

Jennifer Roberts-Hall aka Vix–I heart you. Hard. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate you, as an editor and best friend.  You have so much to do with where my writing career is today. Thank you, friend. Xoxo

A-team! Nothing but love, ladies <3 Thank you!

Seth, Andrew, and Nathan–you are the reason to my being.

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